14/f almost 15
I've been cutting since I was in 8th grade. I'm going to be a sophomore. I hid it from my parents forever. A couple months ago I like had some weird panic attack or breakdown or something. I was crying like almost screaming. My brother came knocking on the door asking if I was ok. Then my dad started banging on it and almost broke the door down and I was screaming, "OK I'll open it!" I did and my dad grabbed me and looked at me. I was all cut up. I mean my thighs and my arms were horrible. Then he took me out to my mom and they both were screaming at me. I wasn't still bleeding so they didn't want me to the hospital.
Before that I was crying to my friend on the phone. She ended up coming over begging my dad to let her see me.
My dad took everything away from me. My phone, my computer, my mp3. He even took away my church and wanted to keep me away from my friend that came to help me. He hates her. And doesn't want me to have anything to do with her.
I don't understand. I don't know what to do at this point. They expected me to stop after all that. Like taking my stuff away is gonna help. Not seeing anybody for the whole summer?!
What am I supposed to do? I cut myself before because of everything. To be honest I didn't hate my life. I just mostly hated myself. I thought I was ugly, fat, stupid, ect. I know I'm not but I made myself believe it. Because that's what my parents told me. It made me feel horrible. Then my mom had drinking problems going on. My brother was stealing things and I was failing a couple subjects in school and...it just came along to me.
My dad thought I was suicidal. When he was yelling at me he mentioned that he would help me kill myself because he doesn't care if I was dead because if I'm gonna do this to our family it was my choice. Then in another lecture he said the same thing.
Now all I do is cry every night. That's not what I want. Really. All I have is my friends. I actually have time to get on the computer when my parents are at work. So I always wondered what happened to unconditional love. That night when he was talking to me he told me I could tell him any problems that are going on. How am I supposed to tell him anything when he just tells me its ok to die. He mostly said "yeah I would be upset later on but I would realize that's what she wanted anyways" This makes me feel so bad.
Anyways, they just... I just don't know what to do at this point. My friend told me she went through the same thing but her parents got her help. I was told I had depression. It makes sense but I just haven't really talk to anyone about this except my friends.
I know my dad cares...sorta. I thought he did but after hearing that he would be ok if I was dead then it makes me not care about him anymore.
I just keep getting made fun of in my family. My mom calls me bad. My dad calls me stupid, crazy, and once, he called me a zombie. This doesn't make me feel great.
Anybody know what I can do?
wow your dad is an asshole just like mine because thats exactly what happened to me. you do need help because cutting is a vicious cycle that if you keep doing it you may never get out of. i know know this is what a lot of people would say but try talking to your friends mom. since she went throught that with her daughter she might have a better idea on how to handle your situation. she could talk to you parent and persuade them to get you help. i had to get help in secret because my dad thought i just wanted attention and the only thing i really wanted was to stop. call hot lines or anything, talk to me this is my aim: murderbycheering.
i hope i helped, i really would like to help you
[view]
hey i have a cold sore on the corner of my mouth and it really hurts ive been putting campho phenique on it but its not really going away but i've only been putting it on for one day..i wanna get rid of it..i hate it!
stop using campho phenique!!!!! this stuff just makes it worse.
try using abreva its AMAZING
[view]
prob. wrong categorie, idk..
15/f
basically, i hate myself.
i hate my life and everything about it therefor i hate myself.
i have absolutly NO real friends.
my family is so f**ked up its not even funny..
i mess up BAD with every nice, decent guy i meet, screw up every relationship i'm in..
my parents hate me, legit.
i dont wanna tell you my life story and all the reasons im like this.. and im not trying to be dramatic, i seriously do have a bad life. the only thing i can think good of about me is that i'm pretty. but it doesnt even matter because people dont think i'm pretty when they look at me, they think im a miserable, mental, bitch.
i dont mean to dump all this on you, but i clearly have some depression issues.. that have been diagnosed by my therapist.. and my mom 'doesnt believe in depression medicine' so i cant even take a friken prozac to make me happy. >:o
ive even tried turning to religion..
and i have no one to talk to..
idk what to do with myself anymore..
the other day i ran away from the school and went missing for 2 days.. clearly im going insane and need help. i have counceling.. doesnt work..
anyone know how i can make myself happy? im sick of being like this and crying 247.. someone be my friend..?
first of all i wish to say i am sorry that you are depressed and hate yourslef. that is an awful thing to say, if you havent told your therapist about you self image issues you need to because your feelings can get a lot worse than just disliking who you are. if your therapist wanted to perscribe you to medication he/she should be the one to talk to your parent about it because it is your mental heath they are dealing with. i would like to be your friend. my email is superbrie@yahoo.com
[view]
I'm a 15 year old male living in Australia and attending junior high school.
I've noticed that I don't feel emotions properly. Sure, stuff happens to me that should provoke things like sadness or hysteria, but it doesn't. I don't feel anything. The strange thing is, I can feel anger to its fullest. I can be furious at whomever I want at any given time, whatever the situation, and when I get too angry, I use violence to get things the way I want them to be.
But other things, like happiness, I can't feel - and if I'd felt it before, I don't remember. All I ever feel is anger, even when it's about small things.
I have no idea when this came about, but I first realised when my grandmother died around six years ago. She was real important to me once, but when I heard she'd passed on, I didn't feel anything.
Day after day I find myself lying and acting to feign emotions when they aren't there. I learn to fake them by watching people in everyday life and their reactions. This bores me from time to time but I know I need to do it since it's the only way for me to appear normal and fit in with society.
I just want to know if there's any way I could actually feel something real for once, rather than baseless anger. I feel awfully uncomfortable talking to psychologists face to face, so I'm not sure counseling would be a good idea. Will I be empty of anything but anger forever?
first off, i'. sorry about your grandmother passing on. i dont think you need counseling, but it's not a bad thing either. i've experienced the samething! but i was going through a hard time with my parents. its good that you recongize what it is that could have started making you feel like this. i truely believe in your case the best solution is to talk about it because clearly you have unresolved feelings. talking to one of your close friends about it could help or even thinking about it so much that you start crying would help. i'm sure once you start to resolve the under lying issue your emotions will come back. however if this lack of emotions lasts for a longer time i think you should consider talking to a doctor because you shouldnt feel like this and someone can help you. i wish you the best!
[view]
umm........ icut myself and i dont no how hazarddis it is to health can u plz tell me
first of all please dont listen to any of them who said take drugs, that is illegal!
cutting youself isnt iollegal but i advise you not to because you can mentally get addicted to it and then its very hard to stop.
please get help and please, please, please dont take drugs!
[view]
When I was 10 years old I used to go to a private christian school, and the teacher was a real bitch. I have never really have been interested in playing with other children, so I used to go play by myself in the playground and go across the field and lie around over there. My principal/school teacher noticed, and she would always get on my case. She'd take me out of class and lecture me for literally over an hour, talking about how my heart must heart, and how lonely and sad and deprived I must feel, and didn't I care about things?
This school always gave us long homework, filled with bible verses I'd have to spend hours memorizing. I've always been lazy, and one day I got an idea on how to get out of my homework and told my mother that I wanted to die and felt depressed, and all sorts of things I had seen depressed people say online and what my teacher had told me I felt. My mother pulled me out of school immediately, and took me to see a counselor. I was rapt.
I was worried about realism, so I continued it on and on, and even acted strangely at my new school to make it seem very real. I looked online, at fictions and forums were depressed and socially dead people gathered and mimicked them. I pretended to try to choke myself with curtains at school, I cut at my arm with scissors and pinched myself and I wrote poetry about how I wanted to die, which I gave to my teacher to read. My new principal got involved and tried to help me out and find friends. I made it my goal to score medication from the counselors (I was now also seeing a youth specialist, book writing psychiatrist) and I ended up getting Fluoxetine for my troubles. I was diagnosed with childhood depression and aspergers and avoidant personality like traits.
Yet I continued it, into high school, acting awkwardly and inciting pity from most of my teachers. Most of my teachers would go out of their way for me, and talk to me during school trips. I almost forgot I was acting, even though I knew all my emotions weren't really there. I never felt a thing. At 14 I changed high schools, and at this one I started to cut out the act, but never truly acting as I am. I started to get bored of school, of having to get up every morning and stick to a routine. My parents were having martial problems (My Father is emotionally, and occasionally physically, abusive) so I tried to take advantage of that, but it didn't work after a while. I faked a suicide attempt, knowing it would get me out of school and also depress my mother, who I was angry at.
It worked and I started to home school, and I saw another psycharatrist, this one a major book writer and youth specialist who even had a school or something named after him, and he diagnosed me with borderline personality traits and found me deeply insecure and almost anhedonic (I was hinting heavily at how I felt, and dropped hints and told a truth; I honestly couldn't be bothered. I still think he got it wrong by a long shot, as my emotionless doesn't stem from depression).
I saw my old one, who diagnosed me with the same old same old. After a while at home I got an idea of tricking the teachers in the school into thinking I was anorexic, so I talked to my mum and got back into school. I tricked students into thinking I had a eating disorder, but in the end I got annoyed as I had been away for to long. I didn't know what they liked or how to act as it had been almost a year, and I couldn't be bothered with it all so I faked depression and got out back into home schooling.
During this I was not thinking in the mindset and plotting way I do now and have in the past; but though I cried I felt absolutely nothing at all.
My Father is emotionally abusive and has hit me before for stupid reasons, such as throwing a picture away he liked, or sitting in 'his' chair. For revenge while we were away on holiday I pretended to be drunk and high (my eyeballs were burnt, which were a plus). I knew drunk people revealed secrets, so I planned.
I was speaking to a young mother, and before I did mention anything she said that she thought I must be very sad by the way I spoke. So I lied, and I faked a past and told her all my friends had ditched me after I gained weight, and 'confessed' how insecure I was. She comforted me, and I then told her about my dad. I lied about my emotions, but not about his acts. She was shocked and thought he was crazy.
He is. He thinks he can speak to god and sees angels, demons and the dead. When I was a child he told me that the dead would crawl into the bed with him and walk through the house. When I was younger I would have nightmares on a daily basis. When I was younger he told me he saw demons in my eyes.
At youth group I got the attention of a young leader, who wishes to be a counselor and stills sees me today. She thinks herself a good judge of emotion and character, and thinks that I am insecure and shy. I told her I saw things, and she fell for it and told me I have a special gift.
My parents are divorcing at the moment (more like my mother is making plans and seeing womans refuge behind my fathers back), and I don't feel a thing. I thought I'd feel truimph as
I absolutely despise my father, and I know he'll blame it on me which will make it even more of a victory, but I don't. My mother cries all day and though I comfort her I don't feel sympathy or anything. I looked through her emails to see what was going on with her leaving my father, and she was talking with her friend how messed up I was because of it. I told her I lied a year ago, but I know she most likely doesn't believe me.
I don't feel emotions or guilt, and it's as if I am just a shell with a mind. I can't be bothered brushing my hair and going out to places, and I contemplate suicide because I am honestly bored out of my mind.
For the record, my emotionless is not the sad kind, but the literal just no emotions at all kind. There is nothing, and I am not even worried or bothered about my mind set. Merely curious as to how people will view it.
your story is very interesting. based on the fact that you dont feel emotion i would say there is deffinately something wrong with your mental health. you possibly could be depressed when i was depressed i felt the same way: blank i wasnt sad, i just felt nothing, so i think with all the counselors you see/seen you should tell them this story. regaurdless if you have any of the disorders they have diagnosed you with there is something wrong.
i hope you figure things out:)
[view]
I started cutting about a week ago. I have recently been diagnosed with depressession because of my step mom leaving and taking my 3 yr old baby sister with her. I take a pill called Celexa for depression, it's helped by making me happy,but I still want to cut. I cut because it helps and I do it because I can't stop, but then again I don't want to stop because it helps me feel alot better. I don't scratch because I feel the need to cut myself untill I bleed, if I don't bleed, I am unsatisfied and feel like it didn't help.My boyfriend wants me to stop, and I love him, but even for him I won't do it. I don't want to be told to stop, I want a way of stopping so that I still get that feeling of satisfaction, but without having to cut.
i understand how you feel and it is very hard to stop especially if your addicted to it, im sure you feel like nothing will ever take the place of cutting but there are ways to get around the urges, just try to think of how your boyfriend feels. if your boyfriend really cares he should be trying to help you. when i told my boyfriend about it he was really upset but he really helped me. its been like almost five months and i still have urges to do it but i try to keep other people in mind and how they would feel if they knew. so that might be enough to help you but if not you should consider therapy.
hope i helped
if you wanna talk i'm hear
[view]
So I just started my new job in November and absolutly love everyone I work with. I've been hanging out with this one girl who is always smiling and just really happy and friendly. But when I was working with her yesterday she reached for something and I noticed a bunch of cuts on her arm. I asked her what they are from and she said nothing and then acted like it never happened. I'm really worried about her. What should I do? Should I tell someone else?
you should definately say something to her but dont make a big deal about it and dont tell anyone else because obviously she is going out of her way to hide it and she doesnt want others to know and also thats her personal problem not yours so just let her know you are concerned but be gentle about it.
hope i helped:)
[view]
I have medium length, thick and wavy blond hair. I was wondering how you get scrunched hair that keeps its shape and that looks like wet curls. I love hair like that and I can never get mine to stay. I bought Herbal Essences curl scrunching gel and it doesn't do what I want it to do. Any help would be wonderful.
try putting your hair in 2 braids while its wet and leave it in over night then in the morning take them out. depending on the humidity try a little hairspray and thats it :)
hope this helps
[view]
okay.. so i straighten my hair most of the school year.
butt its so humid where i live.
so i need some advice in how to stop it from curling and frizzy.
(by the way.. i wear it down most the time soo dont say to wear it up..)
well please and thankyou
try using john frieda frizz control and redken heat defense for straightning hair
its really great for tht type of hair
i live in florida so its super humid all the time no joke
hope i helped:)
[view]
I am a 14 year old male. I just started my first day of high school on September 2nd. Today is September 5th. Schools been relatively good until today. What went wrong is that a bunch of girls wanted to talk to me. Some approached me and I talked to them. The others said hi as I passed and I didn't talk to them. When I talk to or get talked to by girls I get shy & nervous and I stutter and am really slow figuring out what to say. Please help me figure out what to do. Be Yourself doesn't help me, sorry.
thts sooo cute i love shy guys and so do most girls our age. just try and be urself and show ur personality. focus on wht they r saying instead of wht ur gona say next. :)
hope i helped
good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[view]
i got a question, ive been leaving the 14g tapers for like 3 days now and i always clean it and especially when i take a shower i take the taper out and clean it and now my left ear is swollen but it doesnt hurt or anything but when i took it out it hurts a little bit i havent bought the sea salt yet =P and how do you know if my ear is infected? i use claire's clean solution to clean it and when should i put the tapers back? and when should i put the plugs in? btw its i had a normal piercing before (18g) and i waited for like 2 months to put 14g
keep using the clairs stuff but also use alcohol and put neosporin on the guage tht will help with the swelling when it goes through ur ear
hope i helped
:) brie
[view]
I've heard that many vegetarians become sick after not eating meat for a long period of time.
What sicknesses do they get and what are the symptoms.?
Thankyou.
heyyy
ive been a vegetarian for 2 ahd a half years and i dont get sick more than anyone else does, actually being a vegetarian is MORE healthy for you but some people take protien vitamins like b12 cuz you can only get tht in meat.
you can become sick if you dnt eat healthy but not from being a vegetarian
[view]
whoever out there..somebody: I need help! REcently I just started cutting again because I have done it a little bit in the past. I reall want to stop but I don't really know how. I just don't approve of myself and it feels as if my life is going downhill. I need some advice and if anyone out there has done this before and quit- please tell me how you did it.
Thank You!
u cant really just stop, it takes time. something that helps is too look in the mirror and say "i cut myself". i hate admitting that i do because i feel ashamed but the shame helps to let urges pass.
hope this helped
brie=)
[view]
Okay, I am 18/f. I was cutting on and off for years. Since November I have been hosptialized three times for suicidal idiations. My parents found out about the cutting and I stopped cold turkey. That was in like February when I stopped. But I still want to cut at times. It was such a wonderful addiction. That is what it was to me. It made me feel so much better. Well, I've been having some problems again, and the wanting to cut is back. I don't know what to do. Have any advice? I really feel like I am going to do something soon.
i go through the same thing everyday. just try to hold it off as long as you can. i only cut when im alone so if i have the urge i go into a room people in it. im sure you get this alot but keep yourself occupied.the more you fight the urges the easier it will get.
hope i helped, brie=)
[view]
I cut myself (for personal reasons) but i do it below the wrist. And I try to hide it. But I can't. It's not cold here, so wearing long-sleeves doesn't make sense. When people see it, they get really freaked out. What are some reasons, that make sense, which I can tell people, so they won't think I'm cutting myself?
i have the same problem b/c i live in florida.i just wear alot of bracelets. DONT say your cat scratched you! no one believes that trust me i told that to my friends and they atomatically knew that i was lying and that i did it. talk to someone or a trusted friend if you dont want your parents to find out. no matter what anyone says your parents finding out doesnt help at all!
[view]
Does anybody cut themselves? Anyone used to cut? If so why?
help... how do i keep myself from not cutting..?
ive cut for like a year. i cut because of family problems that were over controlling my life. try sports or talking to someone it might be awkward at first but later it helps. but get help before you get too into it!
[view]
i have this horrible pain right at the top of my right thigh, right where it connects to my pelvis.
whenever i try to walk, my right leg sort of collapses and it feels like jelly. and it hurts sooooooooooooooooooooooo badly.
what is this? a sprained joint?
you might have ITBS (ilio tibial band syndrome) you have a band that connects from your hip to your knee which allows movement, sometimes when the band rubs against your hip tendons it can hurt like a bitch! this happens because the band starts to tighten. there are some stretches you can do for it but you should see a doctor just incase.
hope i helped, brie=)
[view]
well.. i always seem to jam my wrists and ankles in gymnastics. i always stretch and stuff but it doesnt seem to help. any way to get my wrists and ankles stronger?
thanks
i did gymnastics and the tumbeling was intense. i had weak wrists so i used lion paws(wrist braces for tumbeling). but be sure to stretch your wrists and ankles that should allow them to be more flexible so they'll be stronger. and also make sure your wrists and ankles are in the correct position so your not landing on them the wrong way.
hope they feel better=)
[view]
14/f okay so i've been depressed and cutting myself for like almost a year now, and about a month or so ago my parents found out, so they put me in therapy and stuff. so now my whole family knows about me (mom, dad, sister, 3 brothers, and step-mom). plus my 2 best friends no. every second of the day my family stares at me and comes in my room like every five minutes to 'check up' and its so annoying! i have no where i can go to be alone and it's like i'm trapped. everywhere i turn someone is trying to get inside my head and asking how i feel and its just so annoying. a couple months ago i tried to commit suicide and obviuosly failed and no one knows i'm suicidal accept for my 2 best friends, my parents think im fine. i lie to my therapist every time i go saying i didnt cut and that im fine but i'm not! all i can think about is going home and cutting and i always fantisize about dieing. its sickining and i hate how all i want to do is die and im afraid that i'll get really mad and actually do it and succeed this time. i have no where to turn and i just need answers. please help.
same thing here. my parents found out a few months ago and my dad was always around me it was sooo annoying and when i was at my moms he would call me all the time to check on me and he made me go see a psycologist. i havent tried to commit suicide. my stepmom opened her mouth in front of my whole family so now my step sister who also has a big mouth knows and the rest of my family knows and my dad wont let me stay at home alone anymore. ITS SO GAY! so my advice is to let the therapist do his/her job and be honest about how you feel its awkward at first but later youll feel better. and as for cutting you really do need to try to stop i know first hand its very hard but there are other things you can do like talking to your best friends or writting or sports.
i hope i helped. if you need to talk email me.
brie=)
[view]
|
