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i feel trapped
14/f okay so i've been depressed and cutting myself for like almost a year now, and about a month or so ago my parents found out, so they put me in therapy and stuff. so now my whole family knows about me (mom, dad, sister, 3 brothers, and step-mom). plus my 2 best friends no. every second of the day my family stares at me and comes in my room like every five minutes to 'check up' and its so annoying! i have no where i can go to be alone and it's like i'm trapped. everywhere i turn someone is trying to get inside my head and asking how i feel and its just so annoying. a couple months ago i tried to commit suicide and obviuosly failed and no one knows i'm suicidal accept for my 2 best friends, my parents think im fine. i lie to my therapist every time i go saying i didnt cut and that im fine but i'm not! all i can think about is going home and cutting and i always fantisize about dieing. its sickining and i hate how all i want to do is die and im afraid that i'll get really mad and actually do it and succeed this time. i have no where to turn and i just need answers. please help.
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same thing here. my parents found out a few months ago and my dad was always around me it was sooo annoying and when i was at my moms he would call me all the time to check on me and he made me go see a psycologist. i havent tried to commit suicide. my stepmom opened her mouth in front of my whole family so now my step sister who also has a big mouth knows and the rest of my family knows and my dad wont let me stay at home alone anymore. ITS SO GAY! so my advice is to let the therapist do his/her job and be honest about how you feel its awkward at first but later youll feel better. and as for cutting you really do need to try to stop i know first hand its very hard but there are other things you can do like talking to your best friends or writting or sports.
i hope i helped. if you need to talk email me.
brie=)
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stop lying and start talking about everything. you'll feel better and they probably dont trust you right now because of what you doing but if your honest with them they will see your being truthful and start giving you more room-if they think that if you need them you will come to them and not go cut yourself or something. i will be honest-its going to be a little while before they start trusting you and it will be hard but it will take soooooo much more time and be SO much harder if you dont just start being honest and open. and if you do that eventually you will start feeling better and be able to cope with what your doing now.
hope i helped and good luck :)
HiChick
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Listen, you're miserable right now, right? So why not give your therapist a chance? Things can't get much worse by the sounds of it.
Therapists are pretty perceptive and I agree; she probably knows you're not being totally honest with her (him?). And that's sure not going to earn you any freedom.
I think it's time to come clean. It won't be easy. But I think you need to admit that you've been lying and that you're not okay. That's the first step to solving this thing. I know it's scary as hell. But isn't the thought of living like this scary too?
Here's the thing--it can get better. I'm living proof of that. I went into therapy completely miserable. Hardly talked, although I was there sort of by choice (or at least willingly because I knew if I didn't agree to it, I would be forced anyway). It took me awhile to really sort through my issues. I was suicidal and self-destructive. But today? I'm happy. I wake up most mornings with a smile on my face. I never thought I would.
It's not going to be a quick fix. You can't snap your fingers and make it all go away. But please, let yourself work at it. Let people help. You can be happy, if you're willing to take that step forward.
Best of luck, and take care. You deserve happiness. We all do.
-Daimeera, 21/female
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Okay, Okay. Well I don't know you so I'm not going to judge you or anything, but sounds like you have a lot on your mind right now. All your parents are wanting to do is help you, and oh jeeze, trust me, I know what you mean with the whole people trying to get in your head, wanting to know where you are and what your doing every second, having no privacy and thinking things like wanting to run away and live some where else. But right now, they're taking care of you and the want to know your safe. And I know it sucks, but suicide? not the way to take care of it. And cutting yourself, isn't that great of a thing to do. I mean, I don't think I've ever cut myself but I have a lot of friends who have or still do. Not a lot of people know why they're depressed, maybe you feel sufficated in the first place? it sounds to me like you have a big family, and your parents got divorced? It sounds like you have it pretty rough. If you really want all of this to stop, if I were you I'd just tell the therapist straight up how you feel, and you can tell him/her things, and say "keep this confidential" because ive been to like 3 counselors, therapists or whatever, and they will. Or most of them will. You can just ge it over with and tell her everything, I mean, the more you stall by saying everything is okay when its not, it'll only get worse. Think back to when you didn't feel trapped, if you ever didn't feel trapped, and think of whats different and what changed between then and now. You can completly fix it, but that's the thing is your the only one who can chose between the suicidal road, or life? Sometimes thoughts and fantasies go through people's heads, and they don't even know why. The saying "everything happens for a reason" isn't always nessacerily true. People are just worried about you because they care, and they want you to be healthy. But you should sit them down and talk to them about how you really want privacy in your life, and they can trust you, but you have to trust yourself that you won't do all that stuff if you don't even want to. No matter how much that sounded like a confusious line right there, Its cool. I really hope something helped, don't commit suicide, theres so much more to life that you'll do, and just think, in like 4 years you'll be free. Good luck. (:
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okay, that's where you are going wrong. Your parents are spending good muney sending you to therapy because they care about you. But, when you lie to the therapist, there is no way she can help you. Isn't that the point? Talk to your therapist and open up to her, if you want you can tell her to keep it confidential.
One more thing, your therapist probably knows you are lieing. There is a reaosn your parents check up on you and thats becuase the therapist probably told the that you aren't making much progress. If you topok the help from the therapist, then they might start trusting you more and knowing that you will be okay.
:) best of luck!
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