_fLyAwAYy_'s advice column

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Q: I love my boyfriend dearly and everthing and I mean everything is going great and I am as happy as ever. But somehow I just feel like something or someone is gonna break us up...Like somethings gonna keep us apart... It makes me feel depressed...Maybe I feel this way because whenever I was in a relationship a guy, he never took it seriously...could this be why? and if it isn't then why do i feel this way?
Thanks in advanced :)

well, yea, insecurity happens a lot when past relationships or jobs down work out. in skool i wus learning about edgar allen poe and all of the women in his life kept dying, from his mother, to his adopted mother, to his wife and so on. also his jobs wouldn't work out. so then he went to interview at the whitehouse for a high position job and he ended up selling magazines there because he sort of had this sub concious thought that he could not be happy or succeed at anything. well the best way to deal with that kind of thing is to just know that there is nothing threatening your relationship. if u keep remembering that then you just have to tell yourself that its only you then maybe it'll put urself at ease. good luck!!
})i({ stefy

Q: ok heres my deal, i will be moving to fl from ca and i am shy and i want to know what is the best way to present myself in a friendly manner so that will able me to make friends...??

thank you so much!

oh my gosh!! thats exactly what happened to me! i moved frum cali (where i wus born) to florida and i loved it there. well, i didn't love the moving part, but once we were there and i had made some friends i loved it. in most communities each house has their own pool and the water is really warm there at the beach. anyways (to answer your question) the best way to make friends is to introduce yourself to people. its usually easier to talk to people who are by themselves at the moment so if you get to know them they can introduce you to their friends. explain to them that you're new. a lot of people like to talk to sumone new and show them the ropes...its kinda fun for them i guess...but the only thing you have to worry about is that you don't get to nervous to say hi. also people in FL are very sarcastic so don't be offended if they say sarcastic jokes and stuff....they don't mean any harm, after a while you might even start being sarcastic yourself! :P
)}i{( stefy

Q: I need help. My mom iz Raggin on me on how i don't get enought excersize. I want to do excersice, but I don't like many sports. Help?

I DUNNO JILL!!! AHHAHAHA...lol (shes my friend and she creeps mi out! if u wanna go 2 her advice its Jillybean!!! or u can click da link 4 mah fav columnist!) well jill, i think that u shud research a variety of sports. like, maybe u shud consider things that are being done at our skool, or look at leaugues dat are juss startin now! and skiing ish about 2 start so u can go skiing wit mi!!!!!!!!!! yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy (even tho my bro wud hate dat, but it'll be funner if he duz!!!! mwahahaha) lol, well, 4 all ov u who are readin this and thinkin i'm a total freak, noe this: THIS IZ NOT A REAL ADVICE THING. ITS JUST MI FOOLING AROUND WIT MY FRIEND ON DIS 1 ADVICE THINGA MA BOBBER...OK??? hav a great day!

Q: okay well there is this guy that i like s0o0o0o much and i dont know what to do bc he likes this othere gurl...i see him everyday and he just makes me soo happy...i ahve liked him for a really long time now but i dont know how to tell him bc i dont wanthim to feel different around me..uhg please help me!!

thats a classic situation. i hav a friend who (for a while) felt da same way but its about her good friend. i think dat u shouldn't tell him. confrontation iz not always da best way cuz, like u said, he may act weird around u cuz he knows dat u like him. that wud scare him off if he's sorta unsure about his feelings 4 u (especially if he likes another gurl!). hang around him, do stuff wit him and maybe he'll change his mind and hav a crush on u. see how he acts around u. watch out 2 see if he's flirting ;) but its probably not da best idea 2 make da first move (unless ur pretty sure dat u both feel the same way). good luck!
)}i{( stefy

Q: alright...there are 4 guys you need to know about in this story: Nathan, TJ, Michael, and David.

1.Nathan is my boyfriend of about 2 months. i liked him for almost a year before we started going out.

2.TJ is one of my best friends. I love him so much, and he really likes me (that way). He left our school on thursday though. Now he's homeschooled. i cried for 2 days. (he's coming back next semester, i just found out!!)

3.Michael is a friend that i liked, and he used to like me. Now he has a girlfriend, but we've both said that if we both have problems with our relationships, we'd probably go out.

4.David is also one of my best friends. He also likes me, and we're always hugging. so many people think we go out and it's annoying.

ok...now here's the thing: i might like the last 3. i don't know what to do...i've been thinking about breaking up with nathan, but i might change my mind after i do! I can't really go out with TJ, even though i think i really want to...because i'm friends with his ex (they went out for 6 months), and she still likes him, knows he likes me, and hates it. I can't go out with David, because my best (girl) friend really likes him. And michael's taken...for now.

so now that i have thoroughly confused you, take a moment to make some sense of all this, and then tell me what you think!

please! i'm so confused!

i think (for da time being) stay wit nathan. i no dat ur probably thinkin "wut! but there r three other options!", but, according 2 u, those wud just b dead ends. stay wit nathan until thins change. if u liked him 4 a whole year b4 goin out wit him, it won't be horrible to hang on for a lil longer. ur friend will stop liking david, or michael will break up wit his gf. maybe TJ's ex will go out wit sum1 else and stop liking him. but there's nothing u can do but wait, unfortunately. until sumthin changes den just sit bak and hang out wit ur friends and do stuff wit nathan. good luck! :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: ok this might be long but plz help...ok well this guy asked if i wanted to go to the movies with him and i said yes, but i thought we were goin as friends..then the next day my friend sent me a message and said congrats u goin out with *** i said what! were just gonna go to the movies...so then i texted ***** and i said u know were not goiun out,,@@@ said that we were, what diod u tell her, and he replied well she thought right i like u and i was gonna tell u when we got to the movies no matter what u were gonn a say, and he asked if i wanted to go out, i told hgim i dont really want a bf right now, sry, and then he got mad now he wont return my calls are answer my messages what do i do

if he can't except dat u don't like him the way he likes u or dat u don't wanna go out wit ANY1 den dont sweat it. he's just being bery immature and not being cool about ur feelings. sry 2 make him sound so bad, but u probably shud just 4get about it. its not rilli ur problem dat he's bein dat way. but if u still feel guilty, give him a few days 2 vent. let him cool down and then tlk 2 him. explain how ur feeling 2 him and hope dat he'll understand. tell him dat u guys don't hav 2 be dating 2 hav fun 2gether and invite him 2 go do sumthin. hopefully he'll be OK wit it. (not 2 be mean but...)if he's not ok then i guess he's just not such a good friend :( i hope that thins go well!
)}i{( stefy

Q: How can I meet a guy just out of the blue? I do not want to make it look like it was planned or anything cause that doesn't really work...i've tried
But anyways all my friends are telling me "you can have any guy you want...your so pretty...da da da da da....
And it gets me annoyed cuz that is so not true. It feels like I never have an opportunity to go out with someone. So I am going to take a chance.
How do I just meet a guy?

well, its kinda hard 2 just "meet a guy" but u cud do it :) anyways tlk 2 guys at ur skool. maybe become friends wit some. guys usually won't just come up 2 u and say "hey wanna go out" and u'll be like "uhh, who r u?" :P so get 2 no a guy u think is nice and cud maybe like u too. hang out in a lotta public places where u cud get 2 no ppl. good luck!!
)}i{( stefy

Q: i like this girl. but she has a bf. i think she likes me. but im not sure., she told me im hot. i think she was kiding. so what sould i do.

thanks.... p.s. peace

well, maybe she duz like u? or like u said maybe she wus kidding? hang around her and see if she flirts or not. but don't make any moves while she's dating cuz dats not cool. if she and her bf evry split then u cud do sumthin if ur gettin a good feel frum her. but first (if ur not already) become good friends wit her. good luck :)
})i({ stefy

Q: hey theres this one guy i went out with and we were really close...we said i love you and all that stuff, then one day he heard alot of rumors around the school about me and they werent true,but he didnt believe me cuz he said that over 10 people said all this stuff.So he broke up with me,but a couple of days later we were talking on the phone and he said he would go out with me again but hes afraid of breaking my heart again..and i said "its ok....im getting used to it" but i didnt think before saying it. Then he said "why because of me" and i said yes....then he said he doesnt feel like talking....and he got all mad and hung up. After that we were talking on aim and we got in a big fight over that thing i said and he said he just wont talk or look at me anymore....And at school yesterday he wouldnt even look at me...but everybody i tell that too says i can get better, or u dont deserve him, but they dont kno how much i like him.When we were in that fight on aim he said that he was going to ask me if we can try it again, but i said that so now hes not going to ask me...and i just want to tell him how i really feel, but im afraid i'll say something else to make him mad....

it seems like u two are a good couple (besides the fiting). tlk 2 him about how u didn't think before sayin the remark about "i'm gettin used 2 it". also tell him dat u still rilli do like him. add in sumthin like how u feel so bad wen ur apart, cuz its probably true. maybe then u cud hook up again, and thins will be alright. but if he duzn't think dat ur for real, den ur in trouble. give it sum time. maybe he just needs 2 get it out ov his head. then try tlkin 2 him again. good luck!
)}i{( stefy

Q: aight there's this guy i've liked ever since summer. we were going out but then we stopped talking for a long time.. like 2 months? so i figured he forgot about me and didn't care, and i moved on. but then i found out why we hadn't talked, he had to go away for an emergency, and he wants to be still together with me, but i dunno if thats a good idea because we'll never get to see each other and we go to different schools. any advice?

well, first off it wusn't ur fault dat u moved on, cuz u didn't no where he wus. maybe now ur interested in another dude cuz u were lookin while he wus gone. it all depends on the other guys that there mite be. if at ur skool, there r sum possible guys dat u mite wanna be wit den maybe goin out wit sum1 who goes 2 a diff skool izn't such a good idea. also (not sayin dat this guy iz this way) he cud see girls at his skool dat he may like better and flirt cuz "u'll never no". look at other guys b4 makin ur choice. maybe u cud go out wit him 4 a while and if thins just rn't workin out den end it :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: hey, well, about a year ago, this random guy IMed me, and he and I have become good friends after that. Well, his name is Will. And when we first started talking, he had a g/f.I started to like him a lot, and his g/f absolutely hated me. She kept thinking that I would take Will away from her.Ever since she started thinking that, I tried to stay away.(getting new s/n and never talking to them again)Well, he ended up finding my new sn, and I just let it go, and we started talking again. His g/f finally asked me my # so we could three way. So, I let in and gave it to her.We started talking all the time after that. And just recently they broke up. While they were going out, I had a b/f. And then he dumped me after about 3 months.(that was the 2 time we went out)Well,Will called me about a week ago, and told me that he was so happy that he and his g/f broke up.and then he told me that he really liked me.Well...i got anothe b/f, let's call him "JC", and he's my friends ex-b/f. now she's all pissed at me. one day i was talking to Will's friend. and now Will's friend keeps saying to dump JC and go out with him.so now, Will and his friend are mad at each other, and i feel like it's my fault. So, Will called me last night and said " what if i figured out your address?" and i got kinda scared. cause, i know how dangerous it could be.What am i supposed to do?! Will and his friend are mad at each other, and my friend is pissed at me,and Will has my address. Please help. And sorry it's so long.
-jena

wow, dats rilli dangerous. he got ur adress?? and u've tlked 2 him on da phone? sry but hav u ever met him? anyways, if ur friend iz pissed at u about u datin her ex den tlk 2 her and tell her dat u didn't no dat he wus still off limits and u thought that she wus cool about breakin up wit him. so it wusn't technically ur fault. about will and his friend fighting, get them on a three way call and tlk thins out wit dem. tell will's friend dat ur confuzed and u don't no if dumping "JC" is such a good idea cuz u don't rilli no Will or Will's friend in person. About the adress thin, i dunno wut u can do...its not like u can say 2 ur parents "Uhhh, i met sum1 online and now they no my adress so we gotta move, ok?". maybe it wud be best not 2 tlk 2 will anymor, even though that sounds sad. but if he no's ur adress, he cud come after u or sumthin. i hope all ur problems get solved!!
)}i{( stefy
p.s. write mi wit anymor info that u mite hav cuz i'm not sure if i got all da info straight :)

Q: A couple of weeks ago I met a guy at my best friends party. Lets call hym "a" Hes so hot and so nice but he kept checking me out. Since we were in a limo everyone was giving lap dances to regeaton music. I gave one to a guy and then "a" wanted one from me. But then I found out he has a girlfriend AND I know who she is. So I didn't give him one because it didn't seem like the right thing to do and I would have felt guilty...so he was like darn. But now I find myself liking him. He has broken upp with his gf and i know I have the opportunity but he just seems like a real player to me and I don't want a guy like that. After all he wanted a lap dance from a girl when he has a gf! And he was like well she doesn't have to know...wouldn't you be hurt if you were his gf? And please don't give me advice "well thats the way guys are" or "alot of guys will do that" because that is sooo not true. I just don't know what to do...He doesn't know I like him and I'm not sure if I want him to because...idk..I just can't resist...I want to like him..I just don't wanna get hurt..but I wanna be happy too..
xo0x confused x0ox

i think dat u shud look at other dudes. a lotta guys rn't dat way. don't go 4 da playa types cuz u'll just end up gettin hurt if he duz thins like dat (askin 4 a lap dance iz proof). maybe he likes u. maybe he just wanted a lap dance. who knows? anyways, i tink dat if u go wit him thins will just end up turnin bad. maybe he'll cheat on u? maybe he'll check out another gurl? i no if it were mi and i found out dat my bf wus doin thins lyk dat, i wud b majorly hurt. look at other guys!! there r a lotta guys out there dat r nice and want 2 be wit U and no1 else :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: theres this guy named zack and hez 1 yr olda than me so my parents hav no probs wit him. Ne wayz, we went out once but we both agreed to break up because we had just met eachotha the day he asked me out. Well, now i like him A LOT again but he already has another gf. But i still realli like him and i think that if he knew he might tell me he likes me too, but im too afraid to tell him cuz he'z a jock and if he dont like me he'll tell everyone and ill feel stupid. What should i do?? ThnKs in return.. xo' Jess

well, first ov all, don't make any big moves while he has a gf. dats just not cool. but thins lyk becomin betta friends wit him and hangin out as friends iz cool. its actually a good idea 2 do dat. maybe then he'll start 2 lyk u mor than the gurl he's datin now. don't tell him about how u feel if ur not gettin good vibes frum him about u. its also easy 2 think he's into u if thats wut u want 2 happen. but u gotta rilli try and b honest wit urself. but don't tell him dat u lyk him while he's in a relationship. if they break up and he's cool wit it and not hurt then u cud tell him. don't b afraid dat he'll tell ppl, cuz if he duz then u cud say thins lyk "i did like him but now dat he's makin it such a big deal, he's not so hot anymor" and don't let it get 2 u. i hope thins work out!!
)}i{( stefy

Q: i've just made my bestfriend hella mad any general advice to make everything better?

well, first off u need 2 give mor info cuz i dunno wut da situation iz. but i'll try anyways. give her a couple ov days 2 vent. if after a while she duzn't cool off, try tlkin it out wit her and explain y u did/ said the things u said 2 make her mad. hopefully dat will help thins out. try and do damage control in anyway u can.
)}i{( stefy
p.s. write mi wit mor info and i cud give u a better answer :)

Q: well im not sure if i can say i like him.. but i have feelings. His name is Chris and i always see him in school and he usually looks at me when we are passing eachother in the halls. theres just something about him that , i dont know hes just my type. well the other day i took my friends bus and he was on it and when i looked back at him he was looking at me like in the eyes. one of his friends sits in back of me in my study and he sits alone so should i say somethin to him? i was just going to say sumthin to chris but we like dont know eachother.. and i dont know how to talk to him and i dont want to soudns weird.. id take my friends bus and what should i say when i first talk to him, should i sit near him and smile and say hir os tumhin or ask him if hed wanna hangout? i dunno:-/thankss

well, i no wut ur tlkin about cuz i sumtimes feel da same way. sumtimes i see dudes lookin at mi and i hav no idea wuts goin thru they're head :P but anyway, i think u shud say hi to him or ask him 4 a pencil or sumthin in class just to give u an excuse 2 tlk 2 him. then say hi 2 him in da halls. i no a lot ov ppl think dat guys rn't afraid 2 hav da courage 2 tlk 2 sum1. but dats not tru and a lotta guys don't hav it in dem 2 tlk 2 gurls cuz ov the same reason we're afraid 2 tlk 2 guys. so try 2 become his friend and get closer 2 him. den maybe u and ur friends and his friends (make it not a date!!) go 2 the movies or da mall or wutever to get 2 no him even better. i no i say dat 2 a lotta ppl but its a proven fact dat it helps :) also, take ur friends bus and, wen u no him betta, sit next 2 him on da bus. the key 2 sparkin anythin iz (lyk i said) gettin closer 2 him. hopefully that'll give u courage 2 tlk 2 him :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: this has really been getting on my nerves lately. and i just dont know if this should be going on. this is the thing: i could do anything little thing and i end up thinking about it for the rest of the day. like if i do something and it wont even have to be a "bad thing" then i think back on it and im like i should of done this or i should have done that and then i can never et it out of my system. its the most annoying thing ever. is somethin wrong or does n e one have advice for helping me loose this "concious" bc i think thats it... PLEASE HELP!

don't worry about it. that happens 2 mi a lot. usually it happens 2 mi if i like tlk 2 my crush or i'm feelin rilli self concious about myself that day. just try not 2 focous on urself. and wen those thoughts come 2 u about "shud i hav said that??" then remember that its in the past and the only person who remembers wut u said is u. don't sweat it and just try and relax and stop concentrating on urself!! :D
)}i{( stefy

Q: I sometimes feel the need to have a relationship, like my self-esteem is really low because I believe I need one (like a serious one)... is this normal? what should I do?

i no how u feel...it rilli duz hurt ur self asteem wen ur not in a relationship wit sum1...but u'll get over it and eventually sum1 will be interested in u trust mi. meanwhile concentrate on friends, activities and skool. there's always mor 2 life than bein wit sum1...its just easy 2 4get dat sumtime :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: ok i'm 14 and a female. there is this guy in my alegbra class that sits across from me that i like a lot but he doesn't know it. we are always talking and flirting. everyone in that class tells us that we make the perfect couple and that we should go out. today my friend lori asked him that if he that to chose someone in the classroom to go out with who would it be and he said me!! i really like him and i think he likes me too he said that he liked me like a friend but i don't know. so plz help!!

well, if i get this, it seems dat he rilli duz like u. don't just flirt wit him in class anymor. ask him to go 2 the movies or da mall wit u and ur friends and his friends. its a rilli good way 4 it 2 not b a date and 4 u 2 get 2 no each other EVEN MOR. then read his eyes and body language wen he tlks 2 u. i'm serious! it rilli helps 2 c if he lyks u r not. if after a while he still duzn't make a move, then starts hinting subtly. u cud also go 4 da direct approach and say "dude, do u like mi or not?" but most ppl don't lyk dat 1 :)
)}i{( stefy

Q: i need help my parents stariotype me like if i don't want to study they automaticly think i just want to watch t.v. i don't i have told them that they do that they say the same thing every time they won't litsen to me and i am in major need of help because they blame everything on me even if its not true

i no exactly wut u mean. i've been there b4 many times and it rilli sux. my parents are always sayin 2 mi "u have such an addittude!" or "don't be disrespectful to mi" or my personal favorite "UR GROUNDED!!". well, u may not believe this but there r ways to deal wit ur parents. first of all, wen they get mad at u don't bak down. show them that ur not a little kid anymore and maybe they'll listen to u. have a family discussion wit dem and tell them how u feel lyk a civilized adult (trust mi it works!). parents may always ask respect from u, but hunny u gotta get sum respect frum them! if u do den maybe they'll listen 2 u...:)
)}i{( stefy

Q: Basketball is starting in about 2 weeks. It is my favorite sport ever. But i am not sure i want to play this year. My school is all about politics... who has the money, who has the most influence... they are the ones that always make varsity. I dont mean to sound cocky but i know im better than half those girls but im always stuck on jv. If i do play, how can I make the season get better or get on varsity or just plain deal with everything in a good attitude?

have u ever read the pendragon series by D.J. MacHale? its a rilli complicated fantasy book, but anyways, there iz this girl named courtney in it and she has the exact same problem as u. she iz good at almost evry sport but wen she gets into hi skool he coach keeps her on jv. and she gets rilli bent out ov shape...woah! totally getting off topic...i need 2 give u advice! lol well u may be one ov those naturally athletic ppl who r good at evrythin and nevr rilli had 2 work hard. keep ur attitude under control and then it'll help u 2 see clearer. also don't let ur confindence get dented cuz that will mess things up too. good luck!
)}i{( stefy
p.s. if u lyk 2 read u shud seriously consider reading those books! they're rilli good! :P

bio

heYy yALl, mah name iz stephanie .:stefy or stef 4 short:. umm, i luv 2 give advice and i'm pretti good at it, so ask mi any ques u want! I luv to dance! .:hip hop n jazz:., sing, act .:plays:., horsebak ride!!.:english or western but i like english betta:., sports .:soccer, tennis, volleyball, swimming, etc:. and hang out wit mah friends .:u guys noe who u r!!:. so i hope dat gives u a lil info on mi! xox :)
})i{( stefy