about

i'm 18. i live in boulder, colorado. i may be young, but i know more than my years say i do. ask me anything and i'll do my best to help.

advice

Female,16
The guy i like is kinda shy about girls he has friend that are girls but i mean hes never had a girl friend or asked a girl out any way we are friends and ive liked him a long time, and i figured it was just time to tell him. I guess he really had no clue.. yesterday i talk to him alone after school, and said you know i like you and he was silent scuffing his feet and half smiling and he said THANK YOU.. tell me what is that suppose to mean? thank yOU!? and then he said wow this really caught me off guard i i.. and his friend walked by and siad lets go, i need a ride home, so hes said well i guess ill talk to you later and left...do you think maybe he jsut didnt know what to say.. i would assume if he had no feelings like that towards me, he would of just said oh well i like you as a friend or somthing. but i thank you i couldnt tell if that was good or bad.. its so neutral.. as a guy waht do you think means.. a few people have told me they think he likes me and he acts like he does.. what do you think the tank yo means

well, id consider a "thank you" a good sign. he most likely had no idea what to say. he may have feelings for you and not know how to express them. remember, its harder for guys to show feeling. my advice is to play this one by ear.

[view]

I have a serious thing for one of the guys at school. He's gotten hurt pretty bad so he puts up a barrier and doesn't let anyone get in. He's cyncial and rude, but when it's just him and I, he's a sweetheart. He talks to me about things he doesn't talk about with other people. Am I just therapist or does he feel the same way about me that I do about him? Give your advice oh mighty Warnstedt!

well well well. this guy sounds like me. haha. Honestly, I couldn't tell you what he feels (unless of course i know who it is...). The only thing I can tell you is that he trusts you. And that is more important to him than a relationship. I know it would be for me. He may be testing the water before a relationship, or he could just very much trust you. If you want to know how he feels, ask him. Be honest with him about your feelings, show him that you trust him as much as he trusts you. That's all I can think of for this one.

P.S. Sorry I took so long to reply, my computer died and i don't have the net at home anymore.

[view]

I started hanging out with him again, and I ended up watching him like I always used to. You know, where I watch his fingers as the glide across the piano, or create magic with any instrument. Where his eyes light up dimly and observe every move i make.
It doesn't seem to hurt; and it isn't as intense as before, but I enjoy his company so much and start to wonder why he rushed me back into hs life again, is this his test to watch me crack or not? I've been hurt by him so many times i just want to know if this is safe grund to walk back on in.-Spaz

spaz. oy. just oy. not another "him" phase. you go thru them like \/\/|11 does with you. hahaha. i made a 1337 funny. anywho, let us talk in private about this.

[view]

Hey, so heres my problem, theres this girl. We like each other. But we have(more like she has) made the decision not to date until were like 16. So thats fine i'm willing to wait. But theres a lot of other girls that like me. And i do want to date and she said that she doesn't care if i date while i wait. But.....well i really like her. Like almost love her. Cus we've known each other since like the age of 3. But i moved when i was 8. And now at 14 she shows up at my church. So i'm really confused on what to do. So PLEASE HELP ME!!!

wait it out. TRUST ME.

[view]

I used to be a fairly good student. However, this year(I'm in 11th grade) I have a total lack of motivation. I always do my work at the very last minute because it seems impossible to make myself do it earlier. I've had a lot of narrow escapes when it comes to handing in projects late and stuff, but I never seem to learn from it. It's like I've got the Lazy Disease and it can't be cured! But seriously, that's how I feel. I can never concentrate on my work. It's like I don't realize it's important and then I end up stressing out, but my experience doesn't do anything for next time. I really don't know what to do about this, so any advice would be appreciated. Thanks!

This is called the begining stages of "Senioritis" or "Slackers Disease". Personaly, I would smoke a bowl before sitting down to do homework. Just one, or maybe not even a full one. Just enough to get you focused and on task. This isn't exactly a legal way of doing it, but small amonts of THC can actually help concentration. A risk with doing that is becomeing a pothead. If that's not a problem with you, go right ahead. I warn you however that the life of a hardcore pothead is not easy. I would recommend against become a full-blown pothead, but like i said, just a little bit could be just the help you're looking for. Be careful and good luck.

[view]

hey there, some of you know that I answered a LOT of questions in this site. My friend doesnt have internet in her house so she asked me to ask for your opinion.
She likes her best guy friend, a lot, she cant stop thinking about him and she always gets upset when hes around other girls. I know he considers her as his sister, HE TOLD ME!
What she wants to do is let him realise she likes him more than a friend but I told her it would screw up everything! things would get awkward and stuff. So what she's asking is, should she tell him? Personally I dont think she should.
And she also asked why he hangs out and fools around with other girls instead of her?
I told her because you dont have the same interests and he thinks youre too calm (he told me). So do you agree with me or do you have another opinion?

I agree 100%. I've been the who had his "sister" tell that there was a "more-than-friends" interest. We went out for a week and it just destoryed our friendship. If he doesn't like her as well as she likes him, it'll never work.

[view]

Guys only please-just a quick question wondering if i could get some feedback

i used to have a friends with benefits deal with this kid-and after going on for about a year it ended just recently about 3 months ago-my question-do you think it would be akward for me to IM and just start talking to him him seeing as i've never done so before or as a guy would u find that akward and uncalled for? just wondering thanks a lot

Go right ahead and talk to him. If he doesn't want to talk, he won't. But hey, thats called risk and it governs life.

[view]

I have two really good friends who are dating. No one likes the guy (no names) and the girl is my best friend. Everyone is either saying to the girl, "oh, dump him, go out with him (me)" or asking "hey did you dump ()?" no, why would she?
There was a point in time when none of my friends liked the guy. One of the main reasons I constantly defended him (and still do if ever the need) is because he made her happy. I did like her at one point, but I don't give a fuck about what I want. I know I could never do for her what he does, and I couldn't be happier growing up seeing them getting married and having kids. I'm the one that used to like her, and I support his postion in the relationship way more than anyone else. What the fuck. Why can't everyone else see or think that? I think its fucked up. Grrrrr. (15,m)

You sir, are a great friend. No one else sees things the way you do because no one else has felt what you do/did for her. As long as she's happy, that's all that matters. Judgeing by the sounds of things, I'd say there is a high possiblity that you love her (in any context of the word) and would do anything in your power to see that she's happy. Just keep being that person, fuck what everyone else thinks. Since when did the peanut gallary have anything good to say anyway.

[view]

does anyone know where i can get music and put it on to a CD???thanks!

iTunes

[view]

I was supposed to be a virgin until I found the most miraculous guy in the world, where feelings would be amazing and everything would be right (you know, that old hat) but then I lost it being dumb and forgetting who it was, only remembering it was a guy. Anyways, it's a secret from everyone now and it's annoying as hell. I don't feel kosher.

This is a ough one. I would rather not talk about it openly because it's a very private thing currently. I would love to talk to you about it, but privately. If you have AIM, IM me @ Seph1r0ph when I'm online. If not AIm then I'm on MSN messenger at ph03n1xr4v3n@hotmail.com (this is also e-mail, so e-mail me please)

[view]

i fell in love with the best friend of my forgiven rapist. what should i do?

First of all, Why in God's name did you forgive him? Personaly, i believe rapists to be the lowest of the low and anyone who has ever raped anyone should have their nuts cut off and shoved down their vile, rapists throats. But back to the Question, this is a very interesting situation to say the least. The important thing is to remember that the best friend is not the rapist. They are two completely different people. If you like the best friend and know him well enough to know that he's not a rapist, then do what feels right. It's all you can ever do.

[view]

My boyfriend dumped me a while back and I cannot seem to get him off my mind. I thought that he would still talk to me after we broke up, but now he only talkes to me over the internet, and most of the time ignores me. Ok, so my Question is. Why did he say that he loved me then suddenly break up with me and stop talking to me?

Is this Mandi??? if it is, its a very complex situation. if it's not, then it's still a very complex siuation. It is mostly because he doesn't know what to do. Or it may hurt him to be around you. He may have memories that are very hard for him to have them and they come up everytime he sees you. The internet may be the only medium he feel comfortable talking with you because there is no physical connection in it. I have no other idea as to why someone would do this.

[view]

i have two best friends who r dating. i've had a huge thing for one of them for months, but held it back so it didn't cause trouble or cost me friendships. lately though they've been having problems. the one i like is seriously considering breaking up with the friend. i spent the night with the one i like and things got out of control (physically). and the one i like is talking about asking me out. i've wanted this for months, but i don't want to risk my close friendship with the soon-to-be ex. do you have any advice?

Oh my God. You could not have asked a harder question. I can give two sets of advice here, one for guys and one for gals (as i don't know which gender you are). For guys, it's the old saying, "Bro's before hoes." unless of course your hippies and then girlfriend tradeing is allowed. (this is of course up to debate). For gals, its alot harder because true emotions get involved. As I am a guy, I can only advise playing it by ear if you are female. And by no means should you rush into this relationship. go here for female advice from a female: http://www.advicenators.com/column.php?u=AskHalie

i hope i helped. im sorry if i didn't.

[view]

my boyrfiend and i have been together for two years we are both 17 and he is in the army well in oct. of this year he was suppose to be deployed to baghdad for a year and a half, which ruined our plans of going to college together so i planned on staying home and going to a school near by till he got back well turns out he actaully wont be going, but now he has this mindset of not going to college at all, which i think is pretty stupid. He said that when he turns 18 this fire department has some kind of job waiting for him. he said he would be making 40k a year and insists that he doesnt HAVE to go to college at all. He hasnt really made up his mind which I think is unfair to me b/c what he does effects me and i am again finding myself putting my life on hold for him...we grad. in May and im not committed to anything school wise which really scares me Im so lost and dont know what to do getting someone else point of view would be awesome thanks....

Andrea

First off, let me congradulate you on your relationship lasting as long as it has. It is a rare thing this day in age. Now for advice, tell him knowledge is power. The fire department sound great if they will actually do that, and I'm sure they would help him with college. If he thinks that he can make it in this world without college, he is sadly miscalculating the very country he's singed up to protect. On a side note, don't ever let another person effect what you want to do in life. If you want to go to a certain school, tell him that you want to go there and that he can come with you or he can stay and you two could try the whole long distance thing. He should be open to letting you do what you choose to do with your life. Whatever you do, don't let him talk you out of your dreams. I would take a semester off and figure out what both of you want to do with your lives and then move on in it from there.

[view]

What do you do when everyone tells you you're something you're not, just to make you feel better? I am tired of it. Everyone says I'm not fat when I know I am, and they say boys are chsasing after me, when they are running. It just makes me feel worse and they won't stop. I don't care about boyfriends. Most of them are jerks anyways. I have friends that are boys, but no one has ever shown affection toward me, for real. I don't care but I want my friends to leave me alone about it. What do I do?

-TearsThatFall

tell them to bugger off when they start. or believe them.

[view]

i got this friend right, he has such bad luck with girls and all he does is try to show off for them but nothin works and he just gets blown off all the time..... what should he do?

first, tell him to stop showing off. its unattractive and kinda annoying. as for the driveing by their house, thats called stalking, and thats illegal. i used to be the same way. it makes things worse when trying to get a date. just tell him to be himself and maybe set him up on a blind date with someone who is interested in him. ask around to see if there is such a person at your school, and then set them up from there.

[view]

ive been going out with this boy since last friday (6 days) i like him so much and firday im going to a dance with him should i makeout with him or is it too soon

things like this should never be "should i or shouldn't i". just let what happens happen. within your boundries of course. if you want to make out with him, go for it. start it out with just a few random kisses and work from there.

[view]

I'm not sure if anyone will remember this, but I had asked a question as to whether or not it would be the right thing to want to go to the same college as my boyfriend just to be together. Well, he decided he wanted to go to Arizona. To be exact, The Art Institute of Arizona and I was going to go to The Bryman School of Phoenix to study massage therapy. I was looking at houses online in Arizona and I noticed that they were dirt cheap (as in price) so we decided to buy a little house out there (There are 3-4 bedroom houses for 95,300 out there!) My only concern, it's the desert and I'm PETRIFIED of snakes. I know there are many many many snakes there. Does anyone live in Arizona that is scared of snakes? What do you do about it? Is there anything you can put around your house to prevent the snakes from going into your yard? I really have my heart set on moving there, but the only downside is the snakes. Any knowledge of this subject would be so very much appreciated!

I lived in Phoenix for the first four years of my life and never once had a snake to worry about. If you are worried about them coming in to your house, i recomend not haveing pets of any kind. snakes are more afraid of people than people are of them most the time anyway. the attack out of that fear. so, if you see one, stand still, and back away. call pest control and leave the house. or leave the house and then call pest control. but the chances of one being in your house is very low as they usually don't venture far from the rural areas of the Arizona desert. you should be fine. oh, and one added precaution (dont let it become an obsession though), at night before you go to bed, pull the sheets back and check to just be sure. soon it'll be mechanical and you'll stop doing it as often unless you sense that you need to.

[view]

alrigty then im hearing all these stories at school {not that i belive them} about how every one is having sex i personally dont belive it. god says not to have premarital relations plus you should want to wait until u are married to have sex. anyway every one talks about how all the popular kids are doing it im almost 15 i personallyam appaled and am wonering where all the desensy went in the world some one tell me.

anytime before 16 is far to young to have sex anyway. now i am not christian or catholic so i do believe in premarital sex. but i also beleave it should be with someone you love, not just any person you see when you're horny. and the desensy left with the "election" of our Totalitarian "president" who cant see farther than his oil fields. you can blame it all on him. and hollywod.

[view]

my dad hits me. and i'm really afraid of him. when he comes home from work i stay in my room. but whenever i do something wrong. even when i get less than an A on a test he'll hit me and say i'm not living up to my potential. i don't know what to do. He hits my mom to and i get badly bruised from the battles. what can i do? who can i go to? and is there anyway possible that i can get out of my house and be adopted or something? help me Please.

first i ask this, is your father an alcoholic? if he is, that is most likely the main reason of his beatings. i had an alcoholic father as a small child. my mother divorced him in fear that i would end up the same way if i grew up with him. the first step is to see an intervention specialist at school and let them know about your fathers anger. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LET SOCIAL SERVICES GET INVOLVED. they will make your life even more miserable than it is. and talk to your mom about all of this, convince her that its not hers or your fault that he hits both of you. have her and your father go to relationship counciling and try to get him into some anger management classes. if he's drinking, get him to alcohol classes as well. be strong and do what you know is right in this situation. dont be afraid to stand up to him. he may hurt you more, but persist at it and he will fall to the will of a stronger willed person. please keep me updated on your situation. i want to help. my e-mail is ph03n1xr4v3n@gmail.com

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
humorist-workshop
eXTReMe Tracker