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Well, for the past week I have been debating something that has been going on between a friend of mine and myself. To start off I am 20 and he's 21 years old, we both go to the same college.
We've know each other for awhile now, were on the same sporting team at my school, we go to a school for aviation. We've been pretty cool to each other, pretty honest with each other. About two weeks ago a group of us went camping and got a little drunk that night and I had the idea to call a friend of mine from back home, in the process of the conversation that he had with my friend back home he let a secret slip that he has feelings and sexual urges to be with men but has been debating it because of his religious background (catholic) and his family.
My friend from home called me the next day and told me about what he had said and being that I have the same secret also which nobody knows I wanted to talk with my friend in question about this, we talked and he was okay with everything and he was happy that he had someone else to talk with. About a week ago tomorrow, we all went camping again, and my friend and I talked in private about some personal things and he brought up the idea about "experimenting" and so we did that night in our tent when everyone was sleep.
Not to be too graphic but we only had oral sex that night and after we were finished we talked briefly about doing more this coming weekend, to which we both agreed on because we would be able to be alone and not have to worry about being found by other people. throughout the days after I talked with him briefly by textting and so forth but his responses didn't seem right, so on Wednesday I wanted to talk with him about some things and he basically was saying that he was confused about last weekend and that he's been debating with God about what he has done and that nothing will happen past last weekend.
Well after our conversation I couldn't get what we talked about out of my head so I called him that night and we talked for over an hour about how I was able to be okay with myself and be able to justify my belief in God and how it was okay. By the way I consider myself Bisexual, I keep that as a secret and he's the only person who knows. But anyway after talking with him about what's going on he felt better and said "that as far as he's concerned this weekend is still on". He also told me he bought a box of condoms also.
In my opinion he wants this to happen and so do I but today I saw him again and he seemed kind of distant from me, we didn't talk too much only for a brief minute or two and also I sent him a text a couple hours ago but he hasn't responded yet. I know I may be feeling a little paranoid right now but I don't want him to feel uncomfortable about what were doing or with me which by the way we said it would be a friends with benefits thing which I'm okay with, we both don't want to be in a relationship with another guy so...
There's more to the conversations that we had but it's hard to type it all plus it was a lot. But basically my question is how can I talk to him and get him to be more comfortable with this and be more comfortable with me, personally I want this weekend to happen but not if he feels uncomfortable and I told him that the other day but I keep getting mixed signals from him whether he wants to do it or not, I mean he did say that this weekend will happen but he also said that he didn't also he seemed to have gotten prepared for this weekend also. (link)
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I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. But as to your questions. To me it seems as if he is not sure of what he wants, his religious values/morals are making him unsure of what he wants. This is not something easy to decide, he has to decide between something he has believed in his whole life, and the expectations of his peers and family may also have some reasoning to his indecisiveness. I think he is fighting a battle with himself. He needs time to decide. And all you can do is be there for him, not only for his sexual fantasy or experiments. Maybe you should try to talk to him and tell him that you are there for him and if he is not willing be a sexual partner of yours then you must respect that, or else you could possibly lose a friend.
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hey
my bf and i have been together now for about 9 days
my parents dont know and theyre really over protective
but i dont know how to tell them!
they wont understand and my bf rly wants me to go to his house and stuff.
how can i tell them thats the least harmful as possible? (link)
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Depending on your age, you may want to let them meet him first, him come to your house or something like that, maybe have your parent(s) and him and his parents(s) meet up somewhere to be introduced and go from there.
Honestly, would you want your daughter going to some guys house that you don't even know him nor his parents? The possibility would be much higher if they were all introduced.
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I was just wondering what age some of you got your period at. Cuz im 14 and i still havent got mine. (link)
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It's ok if you havent gotten yours yet, some people dont get theres for a few more years after everyone else. but you should be happy you dont have that to worry about yet. Although if you do not get it by the age of 16 you should confront a doctor.
--Sydnie
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14/f.
Ok; my boyfriend and I have been getting very close the past two months we've been together, and we talk about everything. We were talking one day and he asked me to go to Miami Flordia with him and his family [Mom, Dad, Two little sisters, One little brother, Cousin] this summer. I know my mom trusts him completely, and my dad is on his way. But the thing is, we will be staying down there for a week. I just need some ideas on how to ask my parents if I can go. They won't like the whole "spending the night" part. And I really don't think we will do more than kiss and spend time with eachother. Can someone give me ideas to smoothe it over with my mom and dad?
(link)
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With my experience. I think you should confront your mother first. Pull her aside, and explain whats going on. Tell her that you aren't wanting to or am planning on having sex with him on the trip. Make sure she sees that his Whole family is going. Tell her you were talking to her first becasue you didn't want your father to over react at all. Let her think about it if she wants.
--Syd
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ok.. lets just say im really bad at computers..
if i have a myspace song up and i want to deleat it so i have no song at all.. how do i do that? can i do that?
and does anyone know the code to make certain words bold in like comments and stuff?
thanks so much. (link)
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GO into Edit profile. Above the Save Changes button, there is a list, at the far right of the list it says Song & Video on Profile. Click that. You should be able to figure it out from there!
--Syd
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hi! im 16 turnin 17 soon and im going to be the maid of honor in my sisters wedding and she asked if i was going to write a speech and im not sure...i mean i really want to because then it would be special. her best friend is also in the wedding and she is going to be the matron of honor and its either one of us will write the speech or the both of us could write a speech. i thought she might want to write it more than me because she is more creative in writing then i would be. what kinds of things could i write? if anyone has written a speech for their friend or family member in the wedding then please help out! please and thanx
oh yeah im very shy and i have a hard time talkin in front of people. (link)
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Since our sister is most likely older than you. You can say soemthing like:
(Her Name) I have been so lucky to have a sister like you to look up to, to grow with, and to talk to. I am so happy that you found the man you love, (husbands name). And i wish ya'll a happy and loving life together. I love ya'll.
That's just an example it doesn't have to be something long, sometimes shorter is sweeter.
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i've been going out with this adorable junior for 4 months now. at first, i never thought it would work out because im the freshman girl who is shy and has never been with a guy before. but since the first time we met he took my heart. things have been going great, but im afraid he dedicated himself too much to me?
To me, it just doesn't seem right. He's Mr. Popular, quarter back of the football team and like abercrombie model looks; and im just the freshman girl. we've gone as far as oral but in the past month i've really wanted to have sex with him. i ask him all the time about it but he said he doesnt want to. (He already had sex before by the way.) He said he doesn't want to take the thing away from me that is most precious unless i love him.
You dont understand though, like i WANT to have sex with him so bad, but he doesn't want to take it away from me at such a young age unless im sure i love him. He tells me he loves me but it's hard for me to say "i love you" back and really mean it.
Does he not like me anymore? It's just he's so nice and i know for a fact he never cheated on me before or is seeing another girl. Should i drop the whole sex subject?! PLEASE HELP! (link)
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To me it seems like he really cares for you. And I understand where you and him re coming from. You want to have sex with him, you have a barely controllable urge to! he doesn't want to take your virginity, for fear you really do not lov ehim and he doesn't want you to waste it on him, he wants you to wait for your, The One!
--Syd
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this question is mostly for guys. but if any girls have guy friends or boyfriends that tell them, then this is for you too! do guys like when you have anything on your lips when you kiss them? i mean like lip gloss, lip stick, chapstick, nothing, etc. i mean wahts their preference and does anything annoy them? thanks in advance! (link)
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From experience, having Lip Gloss on or any other lip stuff, it makes a kiss messier... expercially if there is a little more to your kiss. Plus a guy wouldn't want to walk around afraid he has a little gloss left on him lip somewhere or the aroma of it stuck with him.
Hope I helped
--Syd
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i used to get physically abused by dad from when i was 2 up untill 2 years (when i was 13) and ever since march last year (when dad got sent to jail) iv been having theses really bad dreams about him getting out and hurting me and things like that and i cant go outside without having a panick attack anymore and i really need to sort my head out but im findin it extremely hard! any tips would be appreciated xx (link)
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If you knew a defenite on how long he is suppose to be in there, that may help if you don't already know. But if you are really scared of him getting out talk to your gaurdian about your fears, this way you may be able to see if you can get a call or a headsup if he does get out.
Until then just try your best to keep your mind off of it. get your friends to come to your house... Something to distract you.
Hope I helped
--Syd
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Well, one of my guy friends who I actually did like confessed that he liked me. We decided to give going out a try. The thing is, he's more experienced (he's 17, I'm 16). I feel like I'm less experienced for my age, but now I don't know where things should go. He doesn't do much, sometimes we hug, but I'm afraid to do anything. And I don't know if we're technically boyfriend/girlfriend. I feel as if I should know all this, but I don't. What do you think is appropriate for the beggining stages of dating? And how can I be less nervous about it? (link)
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The appropriate things is up to you. I fyou are comfortable with kissing in the beginning stages then its appropriate it all depends on what you are ready for. And they goes for being nervous. There is no definite way of making yourself less nervous, loosening up and becoming comfortable withthe situations will happen when you are ready there is no definite way of hurrying it along.
Hope I helped.
--Syd
P.S. The anxiety is always there... maybe not so much but it is slightly.
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13/f
Me and this guy like each other A LOT. We've known eachother for a while and we talk on the phone all the time [even til 5:30 once], but the problem is...he's 17.
yeah, i know. it's really weird but he likes me a ton and i like him a ton. :[
it makes me sad cuz we wanna go out but i'm afraid that it'll be weird if my parents find out or something. i'm so confused.
what do i do? (link)
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Actually, I think you should confront your mom about it, your mom because your dad wouldn't like the situation saying he is only with you for sex. Explain to your mother how you feel about him, but don't reveal his age just yet. After explaing to her your feelings be like I would really like to date him but... He's 17 and I wanted to talk to you first. < But the reason I tell you to do this is because I had the same situation and it has been a year and I am still with that guy >
Hope I helped
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13/f
hey everyone! i have a problem. I pretty sure that some girls in my school think im a slut. I DO NOT do any slutty things at ALL...but these girls are kindof immature like that. I mean, i was at a birthday party and we went to the movies. My friend whom i kind of like, put his arm around me and i put my head on his shouldler. Then later i danced with him a bit. THAT WAS ALL!! i do not see whats so slutty about that. I dont know how im sopposed convince my friends that im not a slut! Its not even me, its them! I really dont want them to think of me as a slut because im not. I did talk to them about it, but im sure that there is doubt in thweir minds. Please, how do i convince them? (link)
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There really is no way to convince them other wise. All I can say is ignore this, if they would liek to be immature then let them it shouldn't stop you from having fun or loving life.
Hope that helps ya.
--Syd
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Im 13/F
Ok my friends all have boyfriends but I dont. The guy I like (lets call him Sam) is really nice and we are very close. Now I have about 5 girl friends and 15 guy friends. I talk to the guys all the time but when I do my friends get angry and call me a flirt. Ill admit I flirt a bit but only with Sam. I understand how one of them can be mad cause she is the only one other than me that doesnt have a boyfriend and she likes him. Im always with him and coincidently always with the guys. I talk to them all and they trust me, bug me all that. Every time Im with a guy for more than to minutes my friends call me nasty names and wont leave me alone about it. I hate it so much! What should I do? (link)
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I would confront your friends about it. They may not liek that you get along with the guys better, and are jealous. I have had the same problem, I personally preffered hangingout with guys, there was always less drama and we got along better but on the other hand I had to change around my female friends, if they didn't accept me having and hanging out with my guy friends I would quit trying to explain it to them and make new friends. If friends don't accept you being close to the guys then they don't really care about the way you feel.
Hope I helped
--Syd
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i was just wonder how many of you girls actually shave everything off "down there". is it normal? or do you guys just trim it?
i know that it is up to me what i want to do. i normally just trim it, but i think it looks weird with just a little bit of hair there.
and if you do shave it completely off how do you do it without hurting yourself?
and i guess if you a guy...do you like it better if your girlfriends shaves everything off "down there" or still has some hair?
thanks =] (link)
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I personally look at it like this, if a guy wants them bald then he probly likes younger girl meaning ALOT younger, so I only shave off most of it, I leave a little triangle toward the top of my pussy. Maybe you should try that. But, you have to be careful and slow with a razor, always make the strokes downward, and never come upward while cutting, because you will get major razor burn.
Hope I helped.
--Syd
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itd be a really big help if someone helped me out with these questions!!
when you have sex,what hole does it go into. when you have your period what hole does a tampon go up, or when you pop your cherry.
please help! and if you have anything to add on itd also be a big help
thanks!! (link)
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hen you have sex the penis goes into the vagina, and whne you have your period the tampon goes into the vagina, and when you pop your cherry is when the hephin which is a layer of skin on theouter part of the vagina splits, that may scare you, but not all girl have this happen..
--Syd
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alright, i know this may sound stupid, but how exactly do you flirt with a guy, especially, if he's a good friend? any tips would also be good (link)
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Him being a good friend woul dmost likely make it a little harder to intise him, becaus ehe may feel like you are just playing. Batt your eyelashes more, cutely smile at him, touch him more, just flirty. ^_^
Hope I helped
--Syd
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im a 14 year old male and me and this girl started to talk. i liked er and i new she liked me. we would talk and play after scool. then one day i asked her out. she just grumbled and walked away. the next day i saw her but when she saw me she started to walk in the oppisate direcion. i know she is looking at me but when i look at her she quick look away. i asked her out about 3 months ago and thing still havent changed and i really miss talking to her. i was wondering if there are any girls out there who can help me get our relation back. (link)
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Well, I know it would be hard, but try your best to get to talk to her alone. Ask her why she is treating you so different now. And tell her you are sorry for springing that on her. I for one, am not the type to treat someoen different casue they asked me out. That is the best I could come up with in this situation.
--Syd
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Hi, I'm a virgin(and I'm pretty sure about that) and I've never even kissed anyone before, recently I got a cold sore and I don't know where from. I researched what it was and it told me I had some kind of herpes infection- how did i get it then? Also I recently found out that I had little bumps around the head of my penis, and it looks somewhat similar to a picture of someone who has genital herpes. This is really wierd for me, and I don't know if it is what it is and I'm really embarrased. Please help. Thank you. (link)
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It's probly just a cold sore. If you are as pure as you say then don't listen to the computer.
--Syd
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Hi, I am a 14 year old boy and I'm pretty unsure about my sexuality. I think I'm gay because I have these urges to kiss my best friend, but the thing is when I see a hot girl pass by, I get turned on. So then does that mean I'm a bisexual? I'm really confused and depressed. (link)
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With your age, you may just be curious. I have the same question in my part. I am the same age and all, but if you don't get turned on when you and your friends are wrestling or when they take their shirts off then don't worry.
But only time can tell.
--Syd
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First of all, I have been in a very calm, steady & fulfilling relationship. The person I am involved with completes me. I am emotionally dependent. I centered my whole 4 yrs. never cheated, always thoughtful and caring. However, just two days ago, we had a heart to heart talk. We both feel it is time to move on. No 3rd party involved on both our part but I guess we both feel it is time to move on. The hard part is that I want to cling, remain & continue but I know in doing so I will completely lose myself. Right now, I am suffering. Have anxiety attacks & feel like my stomach turns upside down. Part of me died too.
Please don't ask me details why do we have to part ways... All I am saying is that it is time to do it. My question is --- what should i do to feel once more... What should I do to stop the nervous attacks? What should I do to stop being emotionally dependent. I am tearing apart. Anyone??? Please... (link)
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I am sorry about all of this, I understand exactyl what has happened, but if you both decided it was for the better then there is a part of you that was ready.
The reason we have two parts is because the humane race has to have compassion, love, and emotionally attatchment to somone, or they can not function properly or fit right with anything! As a child (when first born) if you never had someone to hold you, to love you, you couldn't survive not becasue you weren't fed though.
With your reaction to the separation, I would say that you had been to dependent on the other person, But away to not be so emotionally dependent is to find a friend, your best friend someoen you can spend time with and open up to, oevr time they will take his/her place.
The nervous attacks I cannot give a definite way to stop but, try your best not to reflect on things that bring them on. I know it is hard but when you have extra time that normally leads to thinking about him/her get on the computer, go excercise, get a friend to come hangout with you anything you need to, to get your mind off of them!!
The longer you are stuck on them the more your heart will tear and the more painful things may become.
I really hope something helped!
--Syd
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