hi, i loved the books JUST JANE and the BOSTON JANE books, basically i love historical novels that are love stories...so i was just wondering if anyone had any sugjestion!?! I would love your advice! thanks a million
A couple you might like are:
Pride and Prejudice
and
Nicola and the Viscount
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I was a cutter for about eh, a few months. Then all hell broke loose I was sent away, skip the drama. I've been clean for almost a year..but now more sucky drama is stirring about in my world. I've been thinking about selfharm, but I've still been clean.
Now that you ahve the background...
What can I do with all of my..'emotions'..(did that ever sound cheesy) I already am a poet and a novelest. I pound out on Bass, too...
Danke
-Mistress Maddy
I don't know what it's like to relive your pain by cutting, but I have heard it's almost addicting, so first of all congrats on stopping and not wanting to do it again. You obviously have the willpower so if you try I'm sure you can find other emotion outlets.
It's great that you're a poet and novelest, but have you ever thought about writing in a journal? If you let all your emotions and problems flow on to paper they make seem less intense.
Surround yourself with friends and family that make you feel good about yourself. It leaves you less time to dwell on the sucky drama in your life.
Take up a new hobby, or focus on your schoolwork. again, more ways to help you get away from it all.
Take long walks, especially in the rain, and when you're really mad or upset try stabbing a pillow.
Find a friend or family member that you trust completely and tell them everything. or if there is no one you can turn to, join an online community on www.livejournal.com or www.xanga.com and tell everyone there that you dont know your problems. Just dont keep these things inside.
I hope that these suggestions can help some how, in some way. Whenever you think about harming yourself again, just remember all that you had to go through, and how much being sent away sucked. If you need anything else, feel free to ask
~Kayla
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umm i almost have a 100$ and i wanna buy a pet my mom doesnt like reptiles or any thing that smells and my nana dont like anything that makes alot of noise that will make the dogs bark and my friend is guna make her chinchillas have babies but that might take awhile so should i wait to get a chinchilla or i might be able to get a guinea pig but i dunno please help!!!
ill rate high :)
Well it's all your own personal decision, but i would suggest getting a Chinchilla. Your friend might let you have a baby Chinchilla for free, or for not very much money, so you could save your 100$ for it's cage and food, and still have more left over for other things. Also chinchillas are soooo incredibly soft and huggable. They have the softest fur i have ever felt, and they are very tame and mild mannered. Guinea Pigs makes lots of loud annoying squeaking nosies when they are hyper... during the night alot of the time too. They can also carry deadly dieases. I would wait for the perfect pet.... a baby Chinchilla!!! Hope this helps you!
~Kayla
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i have a boyfriend and he nevers calls or any thing with his old girlfriend he would call every day but when i call hes never home and we never hang out with his old girl friend thay would always hang out but his friends say he really likes me but then one only ONE of his friends say he doseint like me wut should i do dose he like me?:(
Well I would say that you need to try an get your facts straight. If one of his friends says he doesnt like you, he could just be lying for one reason or another, or he could be the only friend your boyfriend trusted with the truth. With comparing your realationship to the one your BF had with his Ex, maybe he really has gotten busier since they were going out. (has it been awhile?) my advice would be to sit down with your guy and have a chat. Do it somewhere private without friends or parents looking over your shoulders. Do it over the phone if you have to. Tell him you really like him, but lately it seems as if he doesnt want to be in a realtionship with you. Ask him to tell you the truth, but dont bombard him with a bunch of comments about how things were with him and his Ex. try to get the truth outta him. He is your boyfriend and if you can't communitcate with each other, then the realationship probably isnt worth having. Hope this helps you!
~Kayla
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I was babysitting at a place over an hour away (I was spending the night there too), and I was charging my cell before I left, and I guess I forgot it was on and charging, so I had left it at home when I left (accidentaly) and it was charging until about noon the next day... maybe later, so if I estimated it would have been from 4p.m to maybe 12:30p.m, not quite 24 hours, but about 3 and a half hours less.
2 questions...
Is it bad to leave you cell on when you're charging (my cell will still charge)
And is it bad to keep it charging for so long (even if it was on accident) Thanks!
Well I dont know for sure, but I think it's fine. I've had my cell since christmas, and I usually keep it in the charger whenever I'm home. And almost always overnight. It functions just fine, and the battery still charges and stays charged for as long as it did when i first got it. I dont think any harm was done, but if you want a professional opinion ask anyone at radio shack or at your cell phone store! Hope this reassures you!
~Kayla
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I am a thirteen year old girl and I have a close male friend. We usually get on quite well and we are always talking and hugging. We used to be attracted to each other and he on/off still is to me but I don't feel that way about him. Everyone says we act like we're a couple and that we should get together but I honestly don't want to. We are very close but are we too close? I admit I hug him more than my other friends but I don't have any feelings for him. So is it wrong to be this close to him if we're not in a relationship?
I dont think there is anything wrong with being close best friends, especially if you both know that you arent intrested in a relationship. I have to good friends (a girl and a guy) who are best friends and really close. My other friends and I are always saying that they should really just go out, because they are so close. But I understand that even when people act close that doesnt nessacarily mean they are attracted to each other. If you being physically close, just shows how comfortable you are with him and that you are really close friends. I dont think there is anything wrong with being close, and just being friends. Good Friendships and relationships between guys and girls are often mistaken for each other, but if you know the difference, it's fine! Hope I helped you!
~Kayla
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hi. i just wanted to know for the proactiv mask thing.. are you suppose to put it on after you use the cleanser and then after that do you still use the toner and lotion or do you just finish after you wash off the mask? thanks
I wasnt too sure either, but the way I did it that seemed to work pretty well, was using the cleanser, the doing the mask. Then i used a little more cleanser just to make sure the mask got completely off, and then use the toner and lotion. hope this helps you!
~Kayla
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Hey , I have a question. I have this like lump sort of thing inside of my breast. I'm not sure what it is. I don't think that it is breast cancer.. but I really don't know what else it could be. Help please! I'm freaked out.
P.S. I'm 13.
If it's around time for your period to start, or you're on your period sometimes your breasts get lumpmy. If it doesnt go away for awhile... I'd get it checked out by your doctor. If you're really nervous about it ask your mom, aunt, or another trusted adult. Hope I helped!
~Kayla
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AMy friend called me "emo" because I dressed like it one day and I like emo music. Theres nothing wrong with that, I think I am too but I want to know how to dress like it bc I didnt even know that I looked emo till they said something or how emo chicks look other then the whole pierceings thing.
Well i wouldn't advise trying to follow labels, I mean just act and dress the way you want to. Don't try to be someone you aren't. As far as I know some emo styles are horn rimmed glasses, sweaters, sweater vests and converse. but here are some websites:
http://www.fourfa.com/
http://www.dobi.nu/emo/
http://www.faqs.org/faqs/cultures/straight-edge-faq/section-21.html
But really, the best advice I can give you is just to be yourself!
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OK ive been liking this guy ever since we've been in the same class together and ive told him and he asked me out but then two days later he broke up with me saying he wants to get to know me more and hes been with me everyday since we broke up but still hasnt asked me back out...i want to be with him but i dont wanna wait around very long.. what should i do?
Well just because you've been together doesnt mean he now knows you better. If you really like him, then make an effort to really get know him and his personality better. And also let him get to know you. Open up and let him see who you really are. Play games like 20 questions and such. Send him email personality surveys and such. After awhile (a couple weeks).. if he still hasnt asked you out then ask him. If he says no then he has obviously decided that you and him wouldnt be good together. But if he still says "i dont know you well enough" then return with the comeback "We know each other well enough, and that's part of the process while we're going out... getting to know each other even more. If you don't wanna go out with me just tell me, and stop leading me on." However, if he's just another crush and you really dont want to wait around that much then give the getting to know you scheme for about a week then move on. but it's all at your discretion! I hope this helps! If you need anything, just ask!
~Kayla
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I took like a week break from gymnastics and now I am going back tomorrow with a bunch of cuts on my wrist because I slit my wrists a few times over the week. I didn't think I was going to go back to gymnastics and I'm still not sure but I might and everyone will see the cuts and they're going to wonder what they are. I don't think they will believe it's from my cat. What should I say? I can't wear bracelets or anything over them that is noticable because we're not supposed to. Help!! How do I hide them?
Basically you have 4 options:
1. Put something over your wrists like sweat bands, large band-aid, althetic wrapping tape, wrist supports, or wear a long sleeve shirt.
2. Put Vitamin E on them to make them fade, then put make-up over it. But if you do this the make-up will probably wear off or people will be able see through it. and it will be obvious that you've tried to cover something up.
3. Not do anything to them and tell people the cat story. (also... i dont want you to do this but if you cut yourself in other places besides the wrist, then the cat story will be more believeble)
4. Not go to gym!
I reccomend option one... wrist supports would probably be your best bet! and in the future.. don't cut yourself to release stress or anger. Instead, write in a journal, talk to a friend, turn up music really really loud and scream, take a walk (maybe around water... it's calming), cut old shirts or stuff up with Scissors, stab a pillow with a knife, or light paper on fire (in your fireplace!). These are better ways for you to relieve tension as opposed to cutting. I hope these helps and good luck! If you ever want to talk AIM me, and feel free to ask me any questions!
~Kayla
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Hi.
If I don't wash my hair every night then my hair gets and looks so oily.I usually do wash my hair everynight but every once in a while i don't have time. Does anyone know any products that i could use to make my hair less oily or anything i can use so it doesnt look oily....please.
Thanks!
Ok, well SEVENTEEN magazine had an article in it's Nov. 2004 issue about making greasy hair look clean when you dont wash it. (it's on page 31 of the issue) It shows how to use hair powder to make your hair look lessy oily. Blondes should use white powder, but if your hair has a richer color, then you should use colored powders that will blend better. The magazine reccomends Bumble and Bumble Hair powder, $27, 888-7BUMBLE.
Another solution is water free shampoos. (Psssssst, $6 @ Walgreens or Philip Pelusi Refreshair, $30 @ phyto-life.com)
If you just want to style your hair to make it look less greasy 17 reccomends Braiding or putting a scarf over your hair for long hair, and for short hair, add gel to your hair for a slick ponytail or pining it, because hair looks less greasy with no part!
hope all this info helps! If you need anything else, please ask!
~Kayla
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Hi everyone...im just wondering..I had a few pimples a little while ago like a month ant there is like a little reddish spot where they were. Is there any cream or wash that it make it back to my normal skin color, because the pimple isn't there anymore and i want it to be my normal skin color again..Thanks.
Even after pimples are gone, they sometimes leave dark or red spots where they were (this condition is called post-inflammatory hyper pigmentation) It can take anywhere from weeks or months for these spots to disappear. Proactiv has a product that helps it go away called Skin lightening lotion. Anything with an active ingredient of Hydroquinone will help these spots go away. You could get a special product or just use your concealer! hope this helps, if you need anything else feel free to ask me!
~Kayla
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well does anyone know any websites where you can download music for free because ya i need music and i love it but i dont want to pay for it because i dont think i can???
That's what Napster used to let people do... if you remember they got sued for millions of dollars. Basically downloading music for free is illegal. If you want to be able to listen to music on the interent then a good site is www.launch.com it's associated with Yahoo. There you can listen to music all you want, but not download. If your problem is paying for the music with a credit card, for a soultion to that you can get a walmart gift card, and use the code to pay for songs that you can download off Walmart. com. (and also, I wouldnt reccomend this, but as far as i know there are a couple websites that let you download music for free even though it's totally illegal. I dunno if they work cuz i've never checked them out and i dont think you should either, but they are kazzaa.com and bearshare.com) Hope this helps!
~Kayla
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how do i help my bf be more confident about making a sports team?
It's great that you're intrested in helping! (i dunno if your talking BF like best friend, or BF like boyfriend... so i'm gonna use he) Well maybe help him practice and watch him play and stuff, if you notice any thing he could improve on let him knoW! Be nice and cheerful about it. "I know you'll do great, just give it your all!' Attend try outs if you can, so he'll have moral support there. Just be really supportive! But don't praise him too much, because he might get an attitude that he's better than he is... and if he doesnt make the team he'll be even more crushed! Also... if he doesnt make the team still be encourging. "There's always next year" "Think of it this way, you have a whole year to improve your game so you'll be the best player on the team next year." "I dont care, you're still an amazing person!" Hope these ideas help! If you need anything else, feel free to ask, i'm always here!
~Kayla
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do girls have to shave all their hair off their pussy?
no they don't have to. and it's not common practice (like shaving legs is) either. Many girls prefer to shave that hair off, but it isn't really a good idea. The hair is there to keep from getting infected in that area. Also, it is really easy to get razor burn from shaving that area cuz it's so sensitive. hope this helps! If you need anything else feel free to ask!
~Kayla
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This may be long and I am sorry but please help, I have read your column and it is great!
ok so heres the deal... I just started going out with this guy. I barely ever see him and lately I haven't been talking to him on the phone. I don't know when I WILL ever be able to see him unless we set something up because we go to different schools. I just started going out with him like a week ago and I don't want to hurt his feelings and make him think I never really liked him in the beginning... because I did. I'm just not sure if I would want to be in this type of relationship where I barely ever see him. please help.
Thanks! And I feel your pain. If you really like this guy I'd try to make to work. Invite him to the movies, outings with your friends, school events, and anywhere else you could be with him at. It takes effort to mantain relationships... especially one in which the people don't go to the same school. If you think it's worth it then definately go for it! Try to do as many things with him as possible. See if you and your friends could hang out w/ you and him at your house or another's friend's house. If you have other friends in relationships go on "double dates" to the movies, parks, bowling, mall, Qzar(i dunno if that's nationwide tho...), amusement parks, etc. also call him more often! make an effort to talk to him at least once a day... most of the time it's really not that difficult to pick up the phone and call someone. I'd try doing this for a few weeks, then decide if the relationship is worth it. If you don't feel it is, then you sould talk to him and just gently say "Hey, i want you to know that i like you alot... i really do, but i don't think it's gonna work out between us. You're an amazing guy... but it's just too hard becasue we don't see each other enough. Maybe in the future we could be together, but right now this isnt working." or something like that. If after a while of trying gard to do things with him... you don't want to break up just yet, but you don't want to leave the situation alone talk to your BF about it. see what he thinks... he could be thinking the same thing, and you may both realize it's better if you're apart. Or you could also compromise and make it work, once you talk to him. Your judgement is the most important thing! I really hope this helps. If you need anything else at all please feel free to ask!
~Kayla
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Well i am 13 and i am a female and i have never kissed a boy and i am going 2 kiss my boyfriend but i dont know how to kiss a boy. do u have any tips of how 2 make your first kiss good and not bad?????? I need to know fast. Thanx.
oxoxoxox,
Thinking hard
Well i'm 13 too, and i've never kissed a guy either. If you're not gonna use tounge then it should be easy. Just make sure your lips arent too wet or dry, and you're not wearing sticky lipgloss. If you plan on using tounge then it's a little more complicated. I couldn't even begin to guess how to do that right. I'd start kissing your Bf on the lips and let him take over (that is if he knows what he's doing). If neither of you know what you're doing... then it'll be both your firsts and can be all cute and innocent. Since I've never been kissed... and i dunno how, my plans are not to give my first kiss, but to get it lol... that way he can "teach" me. Hope this helps! If you need anything else, don't be afraid to ask!
~Kayla
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is it alright to not tell your mother baout your period for a few months, because i know if i tell her she will get all emotional and cry and be all my lil baby is growing up and now we have a special bond. i am the only daughter with 2 older brothers. im al right on getting pad and stuff....im just wondering if its safe to not tell for a few months plz help!
It might not hurt if you didnt tell your mom, but i wouldnt reccomend it. If you have any problems in the next few months she'll need to know, and it'll be easier just to tell her now, rather than her finding out... or even you telling her later. And (this is highly unlikely) but suppose you're in a car crash and your uterus and stuff is hurt... your mom might need to tell the doctor if you've started yet, and if she says No then the doctor might do things differently and mess up, because he didnt have correct info.... i know how off the wall that is, but hey it could happen. I'd just mention it to her casually like if you and her are watching TV together or sumthing just say "o ya Mom i started my period yesterday (or w/e" It'll be better telling her now than in a couple months... if she knows you've had it for awhile and havent told her until just then she may get really upset. Hope this helps! feel free to ask anything else!
~Kayla
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my bedroom tends to gets really messy.There is not enough closet space for all my clothes & not enough storage space for all my belongings. my room isn't that big and i need some ideas on how i could organize my stuff. any ideas are really appreciated. thanks so much!!
~~~Chelsey~~~
Organization is a big problem, especially in small rooms. You need to make the most of your space.
On TLC, they have a show called Clean Sweep, which helps people get organized. They do this mostly by purging (or getting rid of) stuff that they don't absolutely need. You could watch this show for ideas.
One book about organizing I really like is Called "Organizing from the Inside Out for Teens." It is by Julie Morgenstern and her teenage daughter Jessi Morgenstern-Colon. This book shows you how to not only organize your space, but also your time, and life in general. This book says that organizing doesn't always mean getting rid of stuff. It will help you figure out your organizing problems and find solutions to them. I definately recommend it.
While this is definately a last resort, you could always hire a professional organizer to help you with your room.
My Ideas:
-Take a weekend and clean your room. Use Friday after school to clean it, then Saturday and Sunday throughly clean out your closet, dresser, and shelves or cabinets. If there is things u no longer want, need, or that no longer fit you then put them in big bags and donate them to GoodWill or some other charity. If you get rid of some of the excess stuff, then you will have more space to work with. Also throw away useless items or things that are so old no one would want them.
-For more closet space you could invest in hanging garment shelves and you could fold your shirts instead of hanging them.
-Bring stuff off your floor and put it on your walls. Make use of wall space by putting up shevles or hanging cabinets.
-For out of season clothes storage use under the bed rolling bins.
-Get an armoire or standing closet for more clothes space.
-Spruce up your room every night before you go to bed.
-Use Plastic contaniers for your stuff, and stacking plastic drawer chests for your stuff.
-You could take out your closet doors, and hang an curtain for easier acess to your clothes.
hope you can understand my rambling! lol I hope some of this advice helps. I really would suggest getting that book! I promise it'll help ALOT! Feel free to ask any more questions!
~Kayla
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