Q: So, my friend got mad at me the other day. I said I was sorry and she replied back along the terms saying that I wasn't a true friend, and I am. So I gave her a few days to cool off, and I called her today. She didn't answer, so I left her a message. I sent her a text through iMessage, and she didn't reply. I tried facetiming her, but that didn't work. So I called her house phone, and her mom said she didn't want to talk to me. I'm just upset and mad, and even wondering if I should be her friend. So any help here?

Q: I’m absolutely miserable right now. I’m extremely anxious at what’s in store for the rest of the summer. My self-esteem is at an all- time low; I almost had a semi-crisis tonight. My life has been amazing since I started college as a music major. I’ve found my passion and completely fit in with others who share it. My social life at school is absolutely amazing and during the school year, I am happier than I’ve ever been in my life.
I DO NOT fit in with the crowd at my summer job. When I first started out, it didn’t bother me much, as I thought it was just because I was new. I am more on the introverted side, until I get to know people really well. My closest friends seem to enjoy my dry, intellectual humor very much but that is SO not the style at my job. I also tend to be on the high-strung side, but many of my friends at school enjoy that about me. A lot of my school friends are kind of uptight too, as well as my few high school friends.
Everyone at my job is the extreme opposite of that. They are chill, laid-back, carefree party animals. At work, I have NO friends. I think the people there are awesome and would love to have them as friends. All of this year’s new people already have friends but no one has interest in being friends with me. I’ve never in my life been this disregarded by people. Based on certain clues, I’m pretty sure people say negative things about me and think I’m weird. I’ve literally gone from being on top-of-the-world confident in school, socially, to the complete opposite when I’m home. All I try to do is be myself, but my true self doesn’t feel any bit of confidence around these people. The fact that I can’t make friends there is making me absolutely miserable and like a failure. It’s a tough, party crowd that everyone is able to fit in with except me.
Tonight they had a party and I went, thinking that maybe it would boost my chances of making friends and it ended up being one of the most awkward situations I’ve had to experience. I literally would have periods of 5-10 minutes just standing awkwardly and not talking because I felt so insecure and could not think of anything to say. It was a pretty crazy party with the usual drinking, weed smoking, , and more. To make matters worse, I had no ride there and my parents don’t know I drink (I’m underage) so of course I was that completely sober loser who drove myself, by myself. If I was drunk, I’m sure it would have helped. EVERYONE else had people to socialize with and was acknowledged. After tonight, I’m SURE people talk about me and think I’m weird. I’m a very kind person and I’m hoping that people at least like that about me. I really just feel like no one likes me. I’m being realistic. I do talk to people, it’s not like I’m completely anti-social but I’m having the least success of everyone there with making friends. It’s easy to tell someone to “just relax” but that’s much easier said than done. I don’t generally have issues with anxiety (until now) but I do admit that I need a chill pill much of the time. People who are naturally chilled out don’t understand what it’s like to not be able to relax. I’m classical singer (also something that people at my job don’t give a crap about, I barely bother bringing it up) and my mental and physical tension are issues for me.
My jealousy right now, for these people who are so cool, happy, and problem-free is overwhelming. Lately, I’ve also been having issues with my family, namely my mom and my brother. On the drive home from the party, for some reason, I started sobbing thinking about how harsh I’ve been with my mom lately. At that moment, I almost started screaming in anxiety, in regard to this whole work situation. I called my best friend but he wasn’t free to talk. I feel so alone.
I’ve also always had attention difficulties but have never been formally diagnosed with any type of disorder. My parents never explored this issue when I was younger so I’m in the process of doing so myself. It’s a long process (finding a doctor, booking appointments, waiting for the appointments, etc.) but now, I have it on my mind all the time. To make matters worse, the therapist I’m seeing has so far been kind of harsh and insensitive.
I’m also having the lowest bodily self-esteem I’ve ever had and have been extremely discouraged by the fact that I’ve never had a boyfriend and no one is ever interested in me. I’m a little overweight.
I know this whole thing makes me seem like I’m generally a person with huge issues and sees that worst in people but honestly, I’ve been perfectly happy until this summer. Maybe it’s a rite of passage to have these thoughts and I can’t be privileged enough to be so happy ALL the time. I’d like to know how to cope with being so miserable this summer. I still have two months until I go back to school :/ I hope to GOD it gets better. Any advice, please? Sorry this is so long.

Q: Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.

Like 99% of the time I have to initiate the conversation.. and usually they don't reply back. Am I a friendless loser? :( I even made a group on FB about me getting a new phone and put my number and asked other people to post theirs. some people I thought were friends who posted their numbers, when I texted them they replied "whos this?" so they didnt even bother to add me. WHY CANT I MAKE FRIENDSSSS. even people who i relatively consider close we hardly talk. why do i have such issues making friends. im not even a bad person or anything i just feel like im so different from others, but we dont have to be identical to be friends so i dont get it! people never even invite me for events. im 16 and ive never been to a sweet 16. in my life ive hardly been to any birthday parties. why are things so hard for me? im not even a loser or anything, im a pretty cool person that nobody seems to know very well and i dont know what im doing wrong :( :( :( i dont wanna get all depressed and everything about it but sometimes i just feel alone.. and id like close friends i can talk about anything with. a lot of my deep questions I ask on Y!A cause i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about it and they are always intertwined with this problem. FML helppp.

I never even just go to someones house to hang out.. I've only done that with 2 friends in my life and that was around middle school. This year I have been to nobody's house. Im just so socially inept that I dont even know how to plan events or invite people for things cause then I'd be worried about little things and everything cause it would be a big deal to me. just hanging out! not even planning parties.. the last time i had a party was my 10th birthday party and "friends" have only been to my house briefly like on halloween to pick me up. i wasnt even part of a group for halloween most years.. i had to ask if i could join theirs and sometimes i still felt like an outsider. why am i so pathetic like this.. and then other people get to hang out with their friends all the time and go to sleepovers and etc.i feel so jealous of it. i feel like ive lost an important part of development..

I dont get how I miss out when I think Im a pretty cool person I guess. I wish I could have friends like myself.. and I am a good friend. But I feel like other people dont really care when I have issues so I tend to keep them to myself IRL.. but Im totally open to helping them out with their issues. Like im a fun person but kinda shy I guess cause im like socially inept and feel awkward often since im not used to certain situations. maybe i spent too much time on the internet growing up? i even moved to a new town and now its summer vacation and i dont feel like people are gonna be inviting me to things even though they were nice to me before.. like theres nothing wrong with me.. despite what it would seem given my situation. im not ugly or anything either. like there was this 1 girl who has this big bday party and she was nice to me and she didnt even invite me! that really hurt.. cause then she goes and talked about it often in school.. and like it seems like everyone else is invited. it wouldnt have been a big deal to me if she hadnt been talking to me earlier and everything, giving the impression that she was trying to become my friend. i just dont want to spend this summer not being with friends or anything.. for the 100th time. cause most summers i visit friends like 2-3 times in total. sometimes even 0. why do i always have to be the one that initiates it? i dont even know how to do that or if i even should when they dont invite me either. :( :( :( im just in a crappy mood today i guess and looking back at how even more pathetic 10th grade was for me. this has been my most pathetic year, friends wise. even though most times its like that.. i dont act this moody IRL, im usually happy and everything.. keeping sad things like this to myself.. and then when i reflect later on how my life is going it just makes me want to cry cause most people seem to have a few friends. i dont even need many you know. even 1 best friend would be amazing. sometimes i wonder if it could be because im black? i know its bad to do the race card but a lot of my "friends" are white so maybe they dont want to hang out with a black person out of school or what? but its not like the black people ever hang out with me either. all i have is my family.. but even my family is different from me. im into indie rock and it shouldnt matter what my skin tone is. but its rare for me to meet people who like that type of music and etc

sorry for this rambling. gosh..... i always spill my personal problems on to advicenators. you guys are the only best friends i ever seem to have, who really care about helping me with problems :(

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