E-mail:
katiegraziano@yahoo.comGender:
FemaleOccupation:
StudentAge:
18Member Since:
July 7, 2007Answers:
250Last Update:
February 15, 2010Visitors:
14896Favorite Columnists
GilbertMar
pflyerskickassandyoudont
Main Categories:
Mental health
Friendship
Families
View All
about
I don't judge. I've seen a lot, and the things I haven't, I'm always open to listening to. I want to make a difference. advice
For the past month or so, my best friend has been at soccer camp. There, she met a boyfriend, and from what I understand, they hang out together all day long.
I've been talking to her recently, and I noticed a change for the worse. Her new attitude towards life is "EFF it all".
School is starting soon, so I asked the typical "What are you going to wear for the first day?"
And her response was "I don't really give a crap. It doesn't matter. I'm just going to school to get good grades and do well in soccer".
That has basically been her response to any subject I have raised whether it be school, the people there, life. I commend her for being so determined, I guess, but I think she has a really bad attitude. And I want to talk about silly girl things, or where we want to go in life without getting a harsh "I don't give a crap." or the underlying belief
"I'm going to make the state soccer team, I don't care about other stupid teenagers. Just me and my boyfriend. No one understands me" etc. etc.
It is possible this could change when we actually get back to school since she her boyfriend lives across the country, and while she'll still play soccer, it's not 24/7.
What do I do? What can I do?
First, it probably will change once you guys get back to school. I highly doubt she can stay so, well bitter while in the presence of like, tons of people and kinda forced into social situations. I'm sure it'll all get better once school starts, but you should try for now, anyway.
Maybe now that she's at the soccer camp, that's all she's focusing on. I mean, that's obvious, but I mean she's not looking at the consequences of what she says at the moment, because she's so into where she is. It's good that she's so into soccer, but she's gotta remember that her camp's going to stop soon, and she'll be back around you and all of her friends soon.
Even if it weren't for soccer, lots of girls have this reaction when they get new boyfriends. It's a weird thing, but it happens. Once she's around you more than him, she'll probably improve a ton.
For now, try to be patient with her. She'll probably realize what she's doing once she's not around her boyfriend so much, and she needs someone to talk to. She'll most likely even apologize, assuming you don't become hostile aswell. Just let her know that you're there to talk if she needs to, because she's acting differently.
If you need to, bring up how she's acting. I'm sure she knows she's being irritable -- Let her know you're worried, and ask her if anything's going on. She can't really reasonably get angry at you for offering help. Let her know that she can talk to you any time if anything's going on, and even about "silly girl things". Even ask whey she dosen't talk about that stuff anymore, lately. Why her opinion changed, etc. The easiest thing to do would be to flat out ask her questions. You won't directly know anything unless you actually ask her, because something COULD be going on you don't really know about.
Just offer her your help and kindness, and she'll remember what a good friend you are. Hopefully after that, she'll get back to normal. For the time being, patience is fantastic.
If she dosen't seem to change at all, talk to some of her other friends. See if they see the same changes, and maybe you can all get together to talk to her about what's going on. Have a sleepover or something with her, and she'll see how much she's loved by people other her boyfriend, and how much more there is than work, work, work.
Best of luck!
XOXO
KAT.
Okay, so my friend mentioned a "forced relationship", what is that? i searched it on urbandictionary & google.. i couldn't really find anything!
Sounds like it could be a few things. Either two people dating (while one or both would rather not), out of guilt, actual parental/other force, etc.
Or, a friendship or even romantic relationship that is either strained, or takes a lot of effort to continue.
XOXO
KAT.
My best friend, let call her "Jade," has been getting sexually harrassed by her stepfather (without her mom knowing). After she told me this, I told her to call the cops and she said "it's not as bad as it seems." When I tried to call the cops, she told me to relax and not call the cops because "it's not as bad as it seems." Then she said if I ever told the cops, her mom, or anyone else, she would never speek to me ever again (I also can't tell her mom because she dosn't speek any English and wouldn't know what I'm saying). What do I do?
Okay, I'll agree with what the others have said. You should definitely call a non-emergency police line and report this. It seems like a difficult thing to do, but you won't regret it. You're doing your friend a HUGE favor, and helping to prevent further sexual harassment, and even rape. It IS that big of a deal, and is as bad as it seems.
Calling the cops would be so much better than letting something happen, and dealing with the consequences later, then regretting not calling or doing anything about it while you could.
If she decides not to speak to you, it's a little irrational. I doubt that'd be the way things work out in the long run, though. She'll probably eventually see how much you helped, and really appreciate it.
Just think about what you would want someone to do for you in this situation. If she can't go forward and do something about this situation, she should rely on a good friend like you to do it. That way no one can blame her, either if there are any legal actions taken out on her step father (which he'd totally deserve).
Go through with calling the authorites. You're a strong friend, and you'll have helped so much, even if you're not thanked for it!
XOXO
KAT.
Fourteen Female.
Okay so I hadn't seen Benamin since Friday and he wanted to see me, and my parents were out and still aren't home so I was like come over it'll be fun.
Well we were ust hanging out, like usual. Were friends, that yeh a little bennifits but it's just fun [[and no nothing below the belt.]]
Well Friday night I got Breaking Dawn-- an amazing book and we weren't doing much so I started reading it while sitting in the recliner chair. So he started messing with me and was like "Your such a nerd- only you would read with ME in the room." Which is true, a lot of girls in my school like him.. and like obsess.. =X
so he climbed on me, and tried taking the book away and he had my legs pinned with his knees and I dont know how it happened. He leaned and started kissing my neck.. and stuff. Kind of groping\grinding me. This is the furthest this has ever gone. We do kiss but its just joking. or just to me.. And a lot of people have been telling me to date Ben but he's just a friend but he's amazing and I was hoping to feel something for him but I couldn't.
So I let things get out of hand, letting it happen when all of sudden he jumped off me and ran for the bathroom. To say the least I was scared i did something wrong... hurt him. Or or something.
ten minutes later.. when he came out he was so red. And I didnt know why. He just started apoligising. "Katie, Im so so so sorry. I can't believe that happened. It wont happen again.. I swear." Just rambaling. And I was like What happened? he looked at me like I was on crack and I sorta wish he never told me. He was like. "Katie... I just got.. hard on you."
----MEH!
He left very sortly after that and I've tried talking to him because his friend Ralph called and was like duude.. you need to talk to him I swear he's gunna get a vasectame he's so embarressed.
=X I feel horrible. I could have stopped it before that happened and Ive been trying to talk to him. To explain it's not that big of a deal.. and he wont listen.
Is it normal for boys my age to.. get hard that easy? I don't know what these means. I mean im friends with him, close but. Ahh. I don't want Ralph making fun either... Can you help getting hard? I donno.. how can I make this right?
Are you sure this is just a friends with benefits thing, first of all? I'm just wondering, because if it was, he probably would have um.. Maybe tried to go further if it weren't the case. The fact that he cared what you thought makes it seem like he likes you as a little bit more of a 'play thing'.
If you really don't think it was a big deal, sit him down and be completely blunt: "It wasn't a big deal. It's normal." Really, it is easy for that to happen with guys. It could happen with them just thinking about something, happens randomly, could happen when you're just cuddling/kissing, and of course if he was 'grinding' on you, it'd happen.
It could mean a lot of things. I mean, maybe he was thinking about what it would be like if you guys went further, but the fact that he didn't actually try proves that he's not a complete pig. He just really couldn't help it in that situation. Whether you guys are just friends or not, it's a physical thing that he can't really help.
Just talk to him and let him know that you don't care. Just ask why he got so embarrassed. If it was just that he got a little.. "happy", let him know that's fine. If it's because he has stronger feelings for you, talk to him about that. Let him know not to be embarrassed, because you don't really care. Just talk to him like you normally would in the mean time/afterwards, and act like nothing happened if that needs to be what you have to do.
Don't worry, it'll just be something you guys look back and laugh at. It wasn't your fault, either. So don't worry about that. :P
XOXO
KAT.
15/f
ok well iv known my best friend for three years and since i met her i really like her alot and well i think i really like her like as in love that i want to be with her. i dont know wether i like girls or not caz i think im straight but not sure caz of my best friend but i dont know wether to tell her i might love her or not caz i dont want to lose her as a friend
should i tell her i love her and would like to be with her even tho shes not bi? can u help
It's kind of common for girls this age to wonder about their sexuality, and it often happens that they wonder if they could have 'feelings' for their best friend. It's up to you to see if this is just a phase, or if you actually really have strong feelings for your best friend before you decide to do anything. While you might be 100% sure, how credible is that? Think about any past relationships or crushes you may have had, and think about how long they worked out and stuff. It's like with any other crush: Is it real? (To start to make your decision).
If you're not sure as to whether or not you like girls, let time take things somewhere. It might be a little awkward to tell her how you feel if you're not even really completely sure in the first place? If she's not bi, it might come off as a little weird..
Instead of telling her about how you're feeling first, kind of casually ask her how she feels about bisexuality, or lesbians. Just bring it into general conversation at some point. See how she responds, and if it dosen't seem to negative, maybe you can tell her how you feel eventually. If it seems more negative, it may not be the best idea to go professing your love just yet.
I get how you're worried that it might mess your friendship up, it happens to all of us (straight or not), and your situation is even more complicated. Just make sure you're REALLY sure about how you feel. Because you've known her so long, you could be mistaking this for a sisterly/friend kind of love. If you don't think that's the case, ask yourself some questions. Could you see you two holding hands? Kissing? Having a serious relationship? Is she interested in any guys at the moment?
If she seems kinda positive toward the bisexual thing, or seems to be dropping any hints, maybe grab her hand or something one day. Nothing too extremly bold, because that could be really weird for her if she's not interested..
It's really confusing, and I really hope things worked out and I've been able to help at all..
XOXO
KAT.
This is the day after a disastrous holiday with her and we have come to a mutual decision that we don't want to see each other anymore. We always had a difficult relationship due to her ferocious temper and mood swings and my inability to deal with them. While I did love her I always ended up feeling inadequate around her, because according to her, I seemed to get so many things wrong. This came to a head during this holiday, which we went on after I had been away at uni for a year. I was apprehensive about spending a whole week in her company but went really to keep her happy. She had been sniping at me throughout the holiday, saying that I was ringing my boyfriend too much (once a day, she conveniently forgot the whole trip was based around her wanting to go and meet an ex of hers) We were supposed to go for 6 days and on the 4th we had a huge argument where she acted as though the fact that we couldn't find the hostel we should have been staying at was my fault even though we had been given faulty directions. After ringing home to get the correct phone number, I got correct directions, but she was still annoyed. I asked her what else she wanted me to do and we argued. This culminated in her screaming at me in the middle of the street and stalking off, leaving me in a city I didn't know, alone with no map and no phone (it had broken earlier) I was stuck in a phone box having a panic attack (which i am prone to) and had to ring home for help. I got to the hostel and it turned out she was there. She continued to shout at me, and I told her about how I was scared of her and her temper. I said I would go home the next day (earlier than planned) and she said she didn't want to see me again. Not only did this grate on me, as I felt I had more right to say this to her, I now feel very depressed. I hate her now, and I know that when I stop hating her I will still not want to see her but I can't help feeling sad and everything seems to remind me of her. How do I stop thinking about this awful week.
First of all, I'm really sorry about the situation you're in. It was very kind of you to even go on the trip with her, and the way she reacted to things seems pretty unreasonable. Honestly, I think your mutual decision to not talk or anything is pretty smart at this point.
While it hurts, you have to know this is the right thing to do. Putting yourself through this trouble/hurt for the sake of a shakey friendship, really isn't worth it. There's a lot better out there, and tying yourself down to something like this will only prevent you from finding the good. You have to know that, and try to keep it in mind when you're feeling sad at all.
What I can say to do right now is just to distract yourself. Think of the good times you had, and accept that there were also bad times. Talk to other friends about this, and see how they help you out. Realize the good in your other friends, and see what else there is to be offered to you.
If you feel like you need closure, which could help you stop thinking, write a message or letter to your friend, and then cut off communication. Say exactly how you feel, and don't hold back. If you're not talking anyway, it won't hurt, and will probably help you feel better. It's almost like saying goodbye, which is very sad in a way, but it will give you the sense of peace you probably want.
Assuming you do that, and continue to think, get yourself distracted. Do things that either clear your mind or fill it up. Read a lot more/go out with friends/watch movies/etc. In a while, it won't hurt so much to think about it.
XOXO
KAT.
Right, so..
I have a friend, lets call her... Sam.
She was inviting people to go and stay at a theme park for a few days. She invited nearly all of her friends, but left me out. I can't just ask if I can go, because I dont want to sound cheeky. But, I don't mean this to sound selfish. If I had gone to a theme park or somewhere to stay, I would've took her. Actually, I have took her to a awards show once.
I feel really sad.
What should I do/say?
There are a couple of options as to why she didn't ask you to go, but remember to never just assume things! You could get a really bad outlook on something and find out later that it was completely wrong.
Are you guys very close lately? Maybe she feels you two have grown apart. I'm sure she appreciated the Awards Show, but that dosen't turn into a free ticket for more hangouts--Though I'd say you deserve it. If you two haven't been talking much lately, it could be reasonable that she didn't ask you to go.
Look at the group of friends she's taking: Is there something special about that group? She could be taking a certain group of people for a specific reason. For example, my friends and I have this thing called 'crew', and we usually hang out most of the time, doing certain things that would appeal to us, rather than the rest of our friends. If you're not really in that group, it could be understandable that she'd think it'd be awkward or something for you to go.
Also, can she only take a certain number of people? This could be another issue that she couldn't really get around. Assuming she's going in a parent's car or something, there's limited space, and the selection could have been the first few people she told. It's understandable that you'd be upset that she didn't choose you, but maybe there were reasons such as these involved.
She probably hasn't said anything because she feels very guilty. I wouldn't say to IM her or something and be like "Why wasn't I invited!?". Try to maybe hint at things. Ask her what's up lately, what her plans are for the summer. Maybe say you miss her and want to hang out. If the truth dosen't come out then, it probably won't. If that's the case, try to talk to one of her friends if you're close at all with them.
However, if she does tell you something, let her know how you're feeling if the reason dosen't seem um, reasonable. Tell her that you understand that she didn't invite you, but you don't really think it's fair in a way. Just make sure you hear her out before you go off.
Also, it's really understandable to be sad. Just try to talk things over and see if it cheers you up at all. If not, try to hang out with another friend the day they're going. You'll see that even if you didn't go, it could have been worth it, missing it because you could be doing something better?
XOXO
KAT.
First off, what would be your definition of "fake"? People use that word in so many different ways, that I don't understand what it is anymore.
Anyways,..
This past year, I have lost many of my so called "best friends" over things that I did not do. Lately, people keep screwing me over like crazy. My friends would do the stupidest things and it just makes me think twice, how many chances should I give these people after all of the things that they did to me.
I have major trust issues and it's so hard for me to let go .. but I honestly don't know what to do. I stand up for myself at all times and I feel like I'm too nice sometimes.
I'm emotionally drained from being hurt and I don't know how to take it.
Are second chances always good, even third? Can some people ever change after being so "fake" towards me.
I just need any advice. Thank you.
'Fake', in my opinion would be: Acting like something you're not to impress others. That, or lying/giving opposite impressions to get something out of it. Basically, being untrue to gain something.
It's common to have 'drama' with friends, but if they're acting badly towards you over things you didn't do, set the record straight! It's not fair to you that they're making accusations/going against you. Also, even if you did do something wrong, don't you believe YOU deserve the second chances, too? It's hard to stand up for yourself, but if someone's wrongfully accusing you, let them know they're, well.. WRONG. You're not being a bad friend if you tell them they're not right, just as long as you're being honest.
It sounds like they're the ones who are messing up more, though. Put yourself in their shoes: Would you think you deserved a second chance? Don't let them by with no talk or anything. Make sure if you're deciding to give them a second chance, that you talk to them about what happened. If they seem remorseful, remember that EVERYONE makes mistakes, it's human nature. However, if they don't seem to really care, tell them what's wrong with it. It's up to you then, whether or not you forgive and forget, but remember that if they don't seem to regret anything, they won't hesitate to do it again.
According to the above 'guilt factor', that should determine how many chances you give. No one's perfect, and if your friends realize what they do is wrong, you should really consider all the chances they need. Some people naturally make more mistakes than others, and some of them would probably be really bothered to lose you as a friend. Then, the others who don't really seem to care, well do they really deserve your friendship? I mean, don't call them out after one strike, but really consider where you are as a friend to them, and how your life would be without them. If it seems better, kind of shy away, or try to fix the problems.
The ones who you really have as good friends will show their true colors, and if these people don't seem to 'shine' at all, think about if they're really improving your life at all. Get the best for yourself, because that's what you deserve!
XOXO
KAT.
I am best friends with a guy (we'll call him Bob) and recently he got a girlfriend and I find myself being outrageously jealous at times.
Well nowadays I tend to get angry very easily at Bob. For instance, if I text him and he doesn't text me back, I get mad and send him an even angrier text. If I'm having a problem, and go to him for comfort and advice, a lot of times he will brush me off and say that he can't possibly fix anything.
Before he got his girlfriend, I felt like he was always there for me and we talked pretty much non stop. Now, if I'm not the one texting him, I'll be lucky to hear from him once a week.
Do I have a right to be angry? How can I tell him that I'm feeling very hurt without sounding nasty?
I personally do think you have the right to be angry, at this point. Perhaps he could be busy lately (since a girlfriend is a HUGE commitment/time consuming), but he could still send a text your way sometimes, or something. It's completely okay for you to assume he's ignoring you or something like that, and to expect him to still act like he used to.
However, that could be difficult for him. Depending on how close you guys were, it may seem 'wrong' in his mind to be communicating with you the way he used to, since his girl friend could get annoyed. That doesn't excuse him from actually helping you through tough times or just asking 'what's up', though.
Don't let this get to you, though! It's difficult, but you have to try to be calm in this situation. If you're sending him angry texts, he may not really want to text back at this point. Try to be calm and ask if he could PLEASE text back, because you miss talking. Since you guys aren't talking much, as is, it might be good to let him know exactly how you're feeling--I doubt it could hurt much. Just let him know over a text or message or AIM that it's upsetting you that you're not talking as much, and you'd like to know why. Also, just ask him how he dosen't really help anymore. Is he angry at you? Did something happen? Tell him to be honest.
You won't sound nasty, as long as you keep yourself CALM, and ready to hear what he has to say. He'll see that you're being mature and it will make him more willing to actually talk about things.
Also, maybe you could try talking to his girlfriend a little. Not asking questions about this, but on a casual friend basis, if possible? This would make it more easy for him to be able to talk to you, since his girlfriend knows/trusts you. Try it out, it could help!
By the way--Do you know if he liked you at all, beforehand? It sounds a bit like that, in a way. The fact that he was SO close to you, and got a girlfriend and stopped just kind of stands out.. But I could be wrong (Just an observation).
Best of luck, and I hope this has helped!
XOXO
KAT.
Lately I've been feeling more and more isolated from the world. I usually talk to my friends about it, but lately I haven't been getting that feel good feeling I usually get when I talk about it. Also I am one of those people who have no contact with their family whatsoever. That really doesn't help with the problem either. I want to talk to my friends in person, but I can't, because I either don't have enough time to talk with them about it, or I can't even get to the person to ask them about it. Idk, can you help me on this?
Hey, I'm really sorry about how you're feeling lately--It sucks, I know. I especially understand the no talking to family, and can't promise I'll be too helpful if they're the ones you want to talk to. Friends however, I can relate to!
Have your friends been different? Maybe something's wrong with them? Try to ask them if they've been alright lately. Sometimes, talking to other people about something that's wrong really helps, too! Something may be keeping them from being completly dedicated to someone else's problem, and the more ya'll talk, the closer you'll be!
I understand why you'd want to talk to them in person, rather than over the phone or over AIM or something like that. In-depth things don't usually work in school, and even if it were during lunch or a studyhall, that's still very limited on certain aspects.
I'd reccomend trying to arrange a day you can just kind of.. chill. Nothing like going to the movies or mall or something where you HAVE to do a set thing.. Try going over someone's house. Depending on how many people you need to talk to, you could arrange something small or large (Though I'd reccomend a one on one thing, sleepover, maybe?). Try to be bold and say that things have seemed different lately, and that you really want to talk. Say your part, and let them say their part. It should be very relaxed, and especially if it's at a sleepover, you'll have time to do more upbeat things later.
Make sure you completly get everything off your chest, however you do this. There's nothing worse than trying to talk over a problem and then having left over feelings after the fact. Completion is key, so if you don't feel that the conversation is complete, don't let it be! Your friends won't get mad at you for wanting to resolve a problem (and it's better to get everything done at once, rather than spread out with time for more problems to arise).
Best of luck, and let me know how things go or if you need absolutely anything else!
XOXO
KAT.
We are both close best friends and we bicker, I mean I have two close friends and we don’t bicker like I do with my friend (lets call her S). There was this time when I wanted to go get sushi for myself, S made a gross look on her face.
“Hey there’s nothing wrong with it, its good”
“S: No it is disgusting”
(My other Friend commented) “I dont like sushi”
S: “See! She doesn’t like it”
(Rolled my eyes) “Okay, I am not forcing you to eating it. I am eating it!”
And
“S: This is a good book I think you will like it you should read it”
“When I have time”
“S: But it’s good”
“I know, but I am not a reader like you are. I'll read a novel when I want to, why do always bug me to read a book!”
S: “you just don’t care…”
“What! No I just don’t feel like reading”
Why does she do that? Just to get me all pumped up or something!?!?
we are both girls
during the bickering she has a smile on her face...as do i too. i see her giggle when i get hot headed because i am easy to get worked up.
It's probably one of two things: They're being really mean and like to see how easily flustered you get, or they're trying to mess around with you and have fun.
I'd reccomend that while they're messing with you, you stay calm. If they're only trying to have fun, they'll know to stop. If they're TRYING to get you frustrated, they themselves will get frustrated. It sounds a little bit like both of you get worked up pretty quickly quickly--try to prevent the hostility by just dropping any subject that may anger you at all.
XOXO
KAT.
ok, im 14 years old. i have been sexually active with three guys. ive had sex with one 2 times an almost had sex with the third guy hours after i met him. the second guy ive done almost everything with except sex. ive known the guy i had sex with for 3 an a half years, the second guy 2 years an the third guy a couple months now but only hours before the incident. there was supposed to be a fourth guy tonight but i was to confused. did i mention all these guys are my older brothers best friends? the oldest is about 17 an the youngest guy was 15 turning 16. does this mean im a slut? even if i havent had SEX with them all, only one?
Remember, only you can determine the person you are. If you consider yourself something, then that's what you thing. However, it won't stop the people around you from having opinions, as well. To some, this may come off as more.. 'wonton' behavior.
While you may not have had sex with all of them, you have still engaged in sexual activity. Today's generation moves much more quickly than older generations, so I guess I'd understand that you are doing things at this age. There's a ton of sexual pressure, you just need to know when to give in and when to pass something up.
Make sure you understand that sex and the things you are doing are supposed to be shared with people you really care about. You may not regret anything now, but it may not seem as special when you're older. While you'll be experienced, there's nothing new to look forward to, or come of age for or anything. Don't make yourself grow up too quickly..
So, you may not necessairly be a slut. That's just a name to put people down, really, just make sure that the behavior you engage in reflects who you are, and is something that you wouldn't be ashamed of.
XOXO
KAT.
First off,
you should know that when we were younger my friends and I always made eachothers mixed cds, looking back we all noticed that we could tell eachothers specific moods and what was going on through the music/lyrics.
So now, I feel like Im losing them, one told me flat out that she doesnt want to hang out with me anymore and hates my boyfriend.. who she used to love?(as a friend) and I was wondering if anyone had any good songs pertaining to this to put on cds for them to let them know that i feel like im losing them, and I miss them, and im sorry that none of us made an effort.
Right now, one thing really comes to mind.
Cubicles-My Chemical Romance
im gonna be going back to school
and my mom keeps bugging me about doing something with my side bangs
becasue i have a really small forhead
and my hairs like already straight but i straighten it anyways
and i dont know what to do with them
i admit they do bother me
and im always moving them cause they fall in my face alot
here are some pictures
if anyone can help me with ideas for what i should do
if you can send me pictures if what it looks like that would be great too!
http://i19.tinypic.com/6fi1clu.jpg
im in the middle. ^^
http://i15.tinypic.com/67npcwm.jpg
http://i19.tinypic.com/6fr682t.jpg
i dont know if this one helps.
but yeah. hah
ahhhh
if anyone helps me
ill love you forever!
haha :]
hey,
first off, you look very pretty, anyways. :)
also, have you ever considered shorter hair? idk,, i imagined you with side bangs hanging a bit over the eye, and hair to the chin, flipped out. i personally think it would look very cute!
you could also get straight bangs going across your eye brows. leave them a bit long, though, because if you dont like the way that looks, you can always push them to the side anyway, or clip them back.
but i'd definitely suggest the short hair, it would frame your face really nicely. but you look gorgeous already ;)
XOXO
KAT!
whats with girls and being all "oh my gosh, im so fat, i need to lose soo much weight" when they look really good? are they just fishing for compliments or really think that they are fat?
with some girls, it's an honest to god, kind of "oh my gosh, i need to lose weight" kind of thing.
i, as a girl, am honestly not sure why we view ourselves this way. i guess it's all the pressure in the media to look like that. because, from our perspective, all we see is tons of stomach, and too much fat.
we also compare ourselves to each other, and only see the flaws in ourselves, and the good things about others.
it's kind of a sad situation, but everyone's unconfident, now a days. :(
there's only a small percentage of girls doing it to get compliments. those are the kind of girls who wear revealing clothing, regardless, so you should be able to tell.
hope i've helped at all..
xoxo
kat!
My best friend told me she's been cutting herself, and her excuses never really are reasonable to me. I mean I used to cut before she did, and she noticed and told me to stop.
But the she admitted she had been a lot lately.
I don't understand because it seems like she has everything, she has amazing parents who are still together, her family is close, she has animals, clothes, a boyfriend, I dont understand why she couldnt be happy.
I'm not trying to compare our issues, it just her excuses to meare like .. "my parents like...ugh they are weird around boys, they embarss me around my boyfriend" and I'm like so, my mom does tha ttoo, but it doesnt mean go hurt yourself.
Its just really starting to worry me, because i dont want to tell on her, and DONT tell me to tell her mom. But I want her to stop, because shes beautiful, and I envy her so much.
But I dont know how to help her>
i don't understand why this is becoming so popular, but here's my say:
for one thing, the problems may differ, but the feelings are the same. i'm guessing she feels she can't control certain situations, and the cutting may help her feel in control. that, or it may be giving her adreneline to make her feel better when she's actually doing it.
no matter how small or large this issue may seem, though, it IS an issue, and shouldn't be overlooked, along with the fact that it may be harder for her to handle certain problems, than others.
try to plan a time to hangout, because the computer and phone will help nothing. it needs to be personal and everything, so maybe try to have her come over your house.. then, talk to her about how you're worried and need her to stop. i know it will be hard for her, but you need to let her know that it will never help anything. she only feels better at the time, because of the chemicals going around while she's actually doing it (the feeling of a rush is what makes it seem like things are better, or whatever) and that it will only cause even more problems.
tell her about the reasons you look up to her. she'll probably deny it, but let her know she's a great person, and she shouldn't do that to herself, and her friends and family.
think about the reasons that got you to stop, then present those reasons to her. you don't have to say you used to be into the same thing, or anything like that, but make her really think.
once you've got your points through, let her tell her side of the story. eventually, make her PROMISE not to do that to herself again, and let her know you'll be looking out for her. she needs to know she has a close friend, who she can talk to, so let her know of that, aswell.
this should work out, but if it dosent, you need to tell her parents, because even the slightest problem could turn into something horrible.
i hope i've helped, and best wishes for your friend..
xoxo
kat.