|
My friend cuts,, I used to.
My best friend told me she's been cutting herself, and her excuses never really are reasonable to me. I mean I used to cut before she did, and she noticed and told me to stop.
But the she admitted she had been a lot lately.
I don't understand because it seems like she has everything, she has amazing parents who are still together, her family is close, she has animals, clothes, a boyfriend, I dont understand why she couldnt be happy.
I'm not trying to compare our issues, it just her excuses to meare like .. "my parents like...ugh they are weird around boys, they embarss me around my boyfriend" and I'm like so, my mom does tha ttoo, but it doesnt mean go hurt yourself.
Its just really starting to worry me, because i dont want to tell on her, and DONT tell me to tell her mom. But I want her to stop, because shes beautiful, and I envy her so much.
But I dont know how to help her>
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well i no it might be difficult but you should tell her to stop and do whatever you can to help her. She helped you when you were cutting, and now its your turn, she might not admitt it but she really needs help. Yes she might be a bit annoyed at you if you tell her to stop or tell her mom but if you think about it you are doing her a favor. And wondering why she is cutting, maybe she is stressing out and has a diffrent way of dealing with it.
hope i helped :]
]
The one very important thing to remember is that just because a family looks like it's perfect it doesn't mean that it really is. Behind closed doors you don't really know what things might be like. Moreover everyone deals with stress, pain and such in different ways. This may just have been her way to deal with it. I've never cut and never understood why my friend did either and so would always be on her back about it to stop. It wasn't until I went through an incident in my life where I was hurting a lot on the inside and no matter what I did I couldn't get that pain to stop. It's true what they say about the pain you feel on the inside and the pain on the outside. The pain on the outside you can sooth better by rubbing but when the pain is on the inside it's hard to put your hand on it and rub it to make it feel better. I had almost come to cutting as well over what had happen to me because I wanted to feel physical pain, pain that was worse than what I felt on the inside and pain I could physically see and grasp to make it feel better but I never did take that plunge (thankfully). But it gave me an insight into why some people cut and since then if a friend cuts I do encourage them to stop but I do so in a positive way and the most important thing of all I let them know I am there for them. Show her what you've written becuase I think it would show how much you care and how worried you are about her. Once she sees she may open up more to you and may even try to want to stop. I can understand not wanting to tell her parents (they may eventually find out anyway) but if you feel it may help you could always talk to her bf. Although that part I will leave to you to decide since telling her bf may even make things worse regarding your relationship with her (she may feel exposed and betrayed if she finds out you told her bf about what her cutting). If it does get worse though and you start to fear for her safety then by all means do tell her parents or an adult who can help because the last thing you want is to be in a position to be able to help and then do nothing.
"Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it."
-- Mark Twain.
]
i don't understand why this is becoming so popular, but here's my say:
for one thing, the problems may differ, but the feelings are the same. i'm guessing she feels she can't control certain situations, and the cutting may help her feel in control. that, or it may be giving her adreneline to make her feel better when she's actually doing it.
no matter how small or large this issue may seem, though, it IS an issue, and shouldn't be overlooked, along with the fact that it may be harder for her to handle certain problems, than others.
try to plan a time to hangout, because the computer and phone will help nothing. it needs to be personal and everything, so maybe try to have her come over your house.. then, talk to her about how you're worried and need her to stop. i know it will be hard for her, but you need to let her know that it will never help anything. she only feels better at the time, because of the chemicals going around while she's actually doing it (the feeling of a rush is what makes it seem like things are better, or whatever) and that it will only cause even more problems.
tell her about the reasons you look up to her. she'll probably deny it, but let her know she's a great person, and she shouldn't do that to herself, and her friends and family.
think about the reasons that got you to stop, then present those reasons to her. you don't have to say you used to be into the same thing, or anything like that, but make her really think.
once you've got your points through, let her tell her side of the story. eventually, make her PROMISE not to do that to herself again, and let her know you'll be looking out for her. she needs to know she has a close friend, who she can talk to, so let her know of that, aswell.
this should work out, but if it dosent, you need to tell her parents, because even the slightest problem could turn into something horrible.
i hope i've helped, and best wishes for your friend..
xoxo
kat.
]
Explain to her how serious you are about it. Watch her very carefully, and tell her that you won't stop until she does. Tell her everything that you've told us-- but the most responsible thing to do would be to tell someone in authority over her..
Or maybe start with her boyfriend, yeah?
]
More Questions: |