HEY EVERYONE, I'M KAT!
and i'm here to help :)
i love to give advice, and i've been told that i give some good advice, aswell.
i'm very dedicated once i get involved in someone's problems, and i'll probably make sure you're okay, and that my answer has been sufficent.
i don't 'sugarcoat' my answers, as just about every columnist on this site complains about, but i do present everything in a way that people will be able to handle, and relate to in their situation.
i could honestly care less about ratings, i just wanna help some people out. in my problems, current and past, i seek help through my friends, who i adore.
i'm a huge my chemical romance fan, and i know pretty much everything about them; so if you have a question on them, i'm here. go for it. ;)
i'm unique in my own way, so ask me for something, and i'll give you a fairly different answer.
XOXO
KAT!
Website: MYSPACE
E-mail: ohshnitzelstix@yahoo.com
Gender: Female
Location: PENNSYLVANIA
Occupation: PSYCOLOGY
ICQ: NONE
AIM: kittyhoesays
Yahoo: NONE
MSN: XO_GRAZIANO_OX@HOTMAIL.COM
Member Since: August 8, 2006
Answers: 380
Last Update: June 21, 2009
Visitors: 25508
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askkatie
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Im moving to the Korea next week and my close friend is avoiding me or we barely talk now and i dont want her to avoid me any idea why shes not talking to me that much? but when we talk sometimes she gives me a big bear hug like im leaving tommorow what is she trying to tell me? (link)
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She dosen't want to talk too much, because she dosen't want it to hurt as bad, when you leave.
She's looking at it like you could be leaving tomorrow, so she dosen't want to miss the memories of you too much, so she's not hurt when you do leave.
Talk to her, and tell her to act like you two would if you weren't leaving.
It's going to be hard, but you two can still write each other and everything, and make sure she knows that.
Make sure that she also knows she should want the last memories of you two to be ones where you're close and everything, because she will regret it, if she dosen't talk to you before you go.
XOXO
KAT!
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what are the sign that ur friends is drifting away? and what does it mean when your friend is "trying to drift away" from them? (link)
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Having your friends 'drift away' is basically when they begin to not want to talk to their friend as much as they used to, or their relationship dosen't seem as good or close or fun as it used to be.
Some of the signs may be that they're ignoring you, not calling/or answering your phone calls, not talking to you as much, not seeming as trustworthy, hanging out alot without you, and the obvious things that would essentially, and unfourtunately lead to a lack of friendship between two people (fighting, being mean/ignorant, ect)
A friend TRYING to drift away is basically someone trying to stop being friends with someone else, but dosen't want to flat out say anything.
Hope this helps..
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okay... so i've had some pretty bad things happen to my family that i really strongly belive are my fault... because of that i hide my emotions and don't ever cry infront of people. so i'm friends with a bunch of people and about half of them are girls... well sometimes they get emotional for (what i think) no good reson... like they're grounded, they're big brother's moving out of the house (not even out of the city), they just had "a bad night" and now they're thinking or talking about cutting. well, from reading this you might be able to guess that i just can't simpathize with them or feel sorry for them, and i get down right pissed when they talk about cutting like it's a braging right or something (i used to cut). so my question is do i really have the right to tell them that they're crying over nothing? am i over reacting? what can i do to not get so pissed off? (link)
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Hey,
Okay, so I totally understand where you're coming from; how you feel like you SHOULD be sympathetic, but how there's definitely a reason you shouldn't be.
Just think about it this way, everyone handles things in their own way. However small a problem, it's probably still a problem in their opinion.
There's also the aspect that cutting is turning into a thing where people want attention.
Try to talk to your friends, and tell them that it's really not a good idea to do that to themselves over these problems, and if they'd looko at their issues from another perspective, they wouldn't seem so bad.
If you talk everything over at once, you and your friend will be able to get over everything. (Thier problems, and themselves). Make sure you get all of the issues out of the way, though. There's no use going through a big confrontation, and leaving things unsaid.
Hope this helps at all.
XOXO
Kat
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5 minutes ago i I.Md this boy hes not just some boy hes like a brother to me i tell him everything but i just I.Md him and he didnt answer so i waited 15 min and he just signd off which is not like him hed atleast say something i dont recall doing anything to upset him should i give him space? (link)
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Hah, don't stress it. He may have a messed up intenet. Just because he dosen't usually have problems with the computer, dosen't mean they don't arise sometimes. Don't worry. But if you see any other signs that he might be ignoring you or something, just talk to him about it.
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i want more guy friends. like, it's not even about getting or a boyfriend or flirting or anything. i'm just SOOO tired of all the stupid, immature, catty drama that comes along with girl friends. i have a couple guy friends, but not alot - only one really good one. how do i make more? i really want more really good guy friends. any advice? thanks so much! (link)
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Haha, this makes me soo happy I've got a big group of guy friends.
Warning you, though.. the only thing that can get dramatic with these guy friends, is that once they start to like you.. things may get awkward..
My reccomendation; honestly act like a guy. Haha, not in a gross, burping, ect. way, but make jokest all the time, and don't act really shy! Also, hang out with a big group of them. That's basically how I got to be good friends with my guy friends.
You said you've got one really good guy friend? Maybe talk to some of his friends. It's always great when everyone knows each other well. It makes a kind of 'crew' and it's amazing. =)
-Kat!
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In stores I'm ebarresed to go to the register and to return things. At school I am constantly picked on and everyone in my school wants to fight other people if they stick up to them. So I usually sit there and take it and I hate it. I want to just tell them that they are immature and to go get a life. It makes me depressed and everyone thinks I'm a happy little preppy boy. I slowly am changing (I made my myspace background skaterish) Because I want them to know about how I feel about what there doing to my emotions.
PLEASE HELP :( (link)
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Heyy,
Aw, honestly, you don't sound socially challenged. I actually went through this kind of thing towards the beginning of the year, too. It sounds like you're a bit shy.. which is no problem.
In stores, think about WHY you're embarassed to register/return things? My friend gets like that, too, but think of this situation this way: these people working in stores most likely don't know you. Also, they honestly don't care what you do. I doubt they're going to go home and talk about some kid who came into their store who seemed to be nervous or something. Really, just think of the sales people as someone who dosen't know you, and wont see you again. Believe me, shyness can be annoying, but in that case, easily overcome. =)
I'm not sure why people make fun of others. It sounds so cliche, but people honestly make fun of others to make themselves look better in front of everyone else, and while there's not really anything to do to make them stop, you just have to know, they're being total RETARDS by doing that. You know you've got friends out there who care about you, and even if they don't go to the people giving you problems and flat out tell them off, they're still there if you need them. I wouldnt' say to sit there and take it all. Maybe go to another area, with different people, or just to say "Honestly, why do you have such a problem with me?" If it's because you're shy.. just go to one of your friends, or a nicer person in your class, and just talk to them. That will show the other people you really don't care. I just wouldn't reccomend starting anything back with them.. that just may cause bigger problems.
I'm really sorry they're making you feel that way.. I keep saying to go talk to your friends, because they're honestly my lifeline I go to, to talk to and everything. You dont' have to change your style, but if you do, and you like the style, don't worry if no one else likes it. When I went more 'punk' from prep, people didn't react well, but I also got to see who my real friends were in that situation.
A little advice a friend once gave me, Always be yourself. You may not make as many friends, but you'll make better, longer lasting, and more truthful friends.
If you need me at all, message me at my myspace,
www.myspace.com/multiamorekat
I'll definitely answer, and I might be able to help in more depth if you'd be able to tell me more specifics, besides, I'm ALWAYS on, pretty much. lol.
Hope I've helped.. really, feel free to message. ;D
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my fucking mom treats me like im still 7. my siter is 9 and every friday and saturday night they go out to eat. im fucking 14 years old so why the hell do they think i want to spend my friday and saturday nights EVERY weekend at a gay restaurant with my parents and my mom and sister dont get along so i end up having to listen to them fight.
im at the age where i can go out with my friends and i can stay home alone, i dont need to go everywhere with my parents. i scream at them and tell them how much i hate being with them and they never let me go anywhere with my friends. i dont have any fun
once again on a friday night my parents a sister are going out to eat, and they said i HAVE to go. but i went LAST week and the week before that and the week before that. its a fucking friday night i want my friend to come over but NOOOOO my mom has to be gay and say "o ur going out to eat you cant stay home alone with your friend"
how can they expect me to go everywhere with them????
i need major advice. i cant deal with this shit and watch all of my other friends have fun without me (link)
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Well, by going to the resteraunt on Fridays and Saturdays, your parents are trying to get your family quality time in while you've still got the options open. You'll probably get this more once you're older, and realize you're kids are going to be very busy soon.
YOu have to try to be mature when approaching your parents on this problem. Try being CALM about it, along with being rational, and looking at things from their point of view. Understand what they're thinking, and this will show you're not only thinking about you (aka, you're mature. =P)
Maybe try taking small steps at being able to hang out with your friends? Try asking if your friend can come to dinner with you guys, it really shouldn't be that bad with a friend there. If you two really behave, ect, your mom will see you can handle being home alone.
Best of luck
Kat
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Yesterday I ran away.
I've been ditching alot and I have plans in life with my friends and they are like everything to me.
I hate school.
I hated being home so much I asked my friend if I could stay at her house and my mom hates her. she said no because she didnt want the cops coming to her house.
She took me home and I stayed there for an hour and I cried and I stopped a realized I didn't want to be there
I live in las vegas so I pretty much walked 20 miles to my friends house and I stayed there.
I felt bad but I had nowhere to go and I just needed to be away for the weekend.
Well my mom found her number and called her and threatened to get the police on her.Well instead she told her to come pick me up at 530 and she did because I didn't want to do that to my friend.
I'm still so very miserable here.
What should I do? I'm just so confused I need someone to talk to
anyone (link)
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Things probably seem pretty bad at home, but things could also definitely be worse. Just think of how worse things could be happening somewhere else. Explain to your mom (in person or in a note, whatever works for you) the importance your friend holds to you, for one. Come up with a reasonable agreement (as in, you most likely wont completly get your way, just listen to the term 'beggers cant be choosers')for you to be able to see her more often/ect. This may solve a major problem.
Also, try to use that approach with other issues you two have. Talk EVERYTHING over. It really helps, and maybe she'll understand more of what you're going through.
Getting things solved is better that running from things. Just keep that in mind.
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Well, I am 13 and a girl, and I have these 2 friends, and they are supposed to be my really good friends. But about a month ago we all got in a reallllly big fight. First (lets call these friends 1 and 2)1 got in a fight with 2, and they were fighting (like wanted to kill each other fighting!) and then I left on vacation, and when I came back, they got to be friends again, and said that I had changed and I argued alot, and was rude, but they were the only ones that thought that. I had always argued a lot, and everyone knows that, but they said that it was getting annoying, and if got to the point that they didnt even want to be my friend anymore. We all had a 3 way phone call conversation, and there were tears, and we all "supposably" were friends again. But we still werent as good as friends as we used to be. After a while, everything was back to the way it used to be, but 1 kept on saying things like "no offense but your hair isnt cute today" and that would just get me mad, and then 2 got another friend, and wanted to be with her than with me, and then 1 and 2 had a birthday party together, and 1 got in a fight with another girl, and just other people just didnt want to be around 2! And just everything is just sooo screwed up! I just hate all the drama! I wish it was just like the old days with no drama! Do you have any advice for me?? (link)
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This is the really bad thing about the three way best friend kind of thing.. it's easier to get into a fight. Unfourtunately, this is common, too. It sounds like they seem to group up on you if anything bad ever happens. This also might mix into the fact that they're looking at other friends, and may be comparing you. I'd say that you should try to not overreact with them if anything happens. Be a little more care free, and maybe they'll get the vibe. Just do NOT, I repeat (hah) do NOT, gang up on one person, or anything like that. Maybe try to have a sleepover at your house with both of them, and do group activites that will get you all involved and having an awesome time.
If this dosen't seem to work out, though, I'd say to try to stay away from them for a bit, and even though it sounds hard, it may be for the best, if they're causing that much drama for you.
If you need anything else, please feel free to write me!! xo_graziano_ox@hotmail.com
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13/f
My best friend *lets call her Megan* just recently told me that she got raped by her brother and cousin. Her brother was removed from the family but she didn't tell the police. I'm very worried for her. I wanna tell an adult but she said she'll kill herself, so i didn't. I guess what I'm asking for is whether I should consult someone. Please help.
Thanks in advance (link)
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Well, this is definitely a difficult situation. If she's completly devastated about this, or if you think this will happen again, overall if you think anything is threatning her, tell someone. Dont' worry about what she said about killing herself, because if that is true, then the person you called will be able to help her.
If she seems to be functioning alright, and if there's not much of a chance this will happen again, just try to be there for her, adn talk to her about everything.
If you need to, talk things through with her, and convince her to see someone about this. Tell her how much you worry about her, and she should see eye to eye with you.
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ok well i was talking to my friend john nd i was like
(right now)
me: i dont look as good as i could
me: or should
John: i believe it
what is he trying to say? (link)
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It depends on his tone, whether or not he was joking, but it's more like saying 'I agree.'
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I've got this amazing friend, John. I always joke around with him and everything with him and my best friend, Deanna, over the computer, but when it comes to actually hanging out.. it's a different story. While Deanna and I constantly are together, John only seems to want to talk to us when it's either conveniant for him, or when it's not in person.
For example, John, Deanna, our friend Alex and I all went to the movies to hang out. Well, Deanna, Alex and I all had a great time. We talked, laughed and everything, but John seemed to just completly be concentrated on the movie only, and when he wasn't, he was texting with some of his other friends. He pretty much didn't talk to us all until one of his newer friends met up with us at the therter..
He has made all these new friends, and I'm fine with him having friends, but he seems to be forgetting Deanna and I. He also seems to be more arrogant, because all of these girls happen to be alot prettier, and more popular than us.
He's just seemed to change.. and I really miss the old John, who I used to be able to joke around with, not having to worry about confrontation.
And I'm not flipping out all of a sudden, either.. This has been an on-going thing, and I've talked to him about it a few times. I don't pin blame or anything, but he's still not getting that he's not being the kindest person lately..
Please tell me what I should do.. I know not to push him away or anything, but.. what do I do to get everything like it used to be?
Thank you in advance, Sam (link)
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Honestly, I'd try to just let him be who he is. If he seems that INCREDIBLY bad, then maybe you should give him a break. YOur friend, Deanna will probably still be there, so maybe give him that break?
If this dosen't sound good, try to talk to him about EXACTLY what's bothering you. Don't go around everything, hit it straight on.
If he refuses to listen, just let him move on, but make sure you're there for him when he still needs you.
Kat
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14/f.
please readd. i need your help.
My friend, she has a cheerleading competition, on the same day as my halloween party. its like huge like 60 kids. & everything. I can't reschedule it, because its the only day they could do it.
Its our last year at the same school together, so its not like there will be another halloween party.
Anyways, I'm really mad.. that she'd rather go to some stupid cheerleading competition then be at my halloween party with me. is that being selfish? I mean there will be other cheerleading competitions. Right? Wouldnt you be mad, if that happened to you? (link)
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You shouldn't make a big deal out of this. You have the right to be mad, but cheerleading is a very time consuming sport that you have to be very dedicated to. It stinks that the party is on the same day, but she has to go to the competition. Missing one person could completly throw a team off, especially when stunting. You need to realize that. Yea, there will be other competitions, but without her, they may have to change their routine, and she may even get kicked off.
Sorry, but you need to realize this isn't her fault, and she probably feels bad as it is.
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My best guy friend has recently unloaded all his problems; I found out his dad's cheating on his mom, his grandpa died (his grandpa was like his excape from his parents) his parents continuesly fight, his grades are slipping, and he's been coming to school with alot of bruises latley.
I don't know how to handle this. I really like him and I want to help, but what should I say to him? What should I do? (link)
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You really need to sit him down again and especially ask him about the bruises. Don't take 'I don't know' for an answer, get specific answers, and if he cant make sure things are okay (other than the fighting, ect) at home. Really, that's the thing you should concentrate on most. If you do find out he's being hit at home, tell an adult. Don't worry about him getting mad at you, because you're heling him. You'd just be hurting him to leave him in an abusive home.
Also, make sure he knows you're there for him and that you really care about him, to make sure he dosent try to hurt himself or anything. Maybe try to also help him study? That way, he might be able to come to your house (get out of his) and he'll be getting help at the same time.
Really, if you need help if you find anything else out, email me at
xo_graziano_ox@hotmail.com
Good luck
Kat
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ok i just got my friend gorunded because she came over and we uploaded pictures onto my computer from her camera and i guess i accadently deleted important pictures and now her mom grounded her and she called me crying and it made me cry and i feel SOOOO bad too!! also i just got over something happing sort of like this with another friend but what can i do to help my friend? (link)
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this might be kinda hard, and it definately sounds easier said than done, but tell her mom that it was you. Explain that it was a complete accident, and if needed, tell her your friend wasnt' in the room at the moment or something, because hse might try to say 'well ******* should have known better and watched'. That way it wont really change. If you're too nervous to do this to her mom's face, a letter is a great idea, too.
Good luck, and your friend should be able to forgive you and all, especially if you at least TRY to talk to her mom. =)
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I'm having a holiday and a valentine party. (2 different ones) I really want some cute games and ways to get my friends parents to let them sleep over (Co-Ed) I know like spin the bottle, but we're 13 so any ideas? (link)
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well, I'm not sure how much luck you'll have on getting your rents to let your guy friends sleep over, or getting their parents to say yes, but you could always agree that the guys would sleep in a different room or something, or maybe you could all camp out in the back yard or something.
That, or the guys could leave later in the night and the girls could stay over. That may be your best bet, cause most parents (of the guys and girls) probably wouldn't like that it's a guy and gal sleepover. lol
Games.. spin the bottle is obvious, also truth or dare is a great, other obvious one.
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my friend always tells me how everyone tells her shes sooo pretty. & like it gets annoying. & like im not jealous, because twice as many people tell me im pretty. so its not like im jealous. i just dont go around telling people, what other people say to me. like she does. so how can i make her stop?? besides saying like i dont care. bc i already tried that.. & well right now i just did & i can tell its turning into a fight. soo yahh
help? (link)
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I really don't like when people act like this.
Maybe, the next time she says something, act playful and roll your eyes and say "yes, I know, I know, youtold me!!"
You can act like you're kidding, but she shoudl get the point, even if you have to do this a few times.
Just make sure notto break her confidence, its rare to find a kid with confidence these days! lol
Good luck, though!
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i really need help making friends..i dont know anyone at school this year and i dont know at all how to make new friends...what should i do..i need a detailed answer please..it would be easier for me if i was happier..i mean living with my mom...but no one cares (link)
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Okay, since I'm shy, too, I'll tell you how I made the awesome friends I've got now.
First and probably most important thing to do is to be friendly to EVERYONE no matter what they look like. Smile to people in the halls and in classe. Compliments will start conversations.
Also, ask questions to students if youget the chance, and when you talk, be very kind, it will make them more attracted to you.
Jokes are also good. =D
Good luck!
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my best friends birthday is coming up, and i have not idea what to get her. the thing is, that i usually get my friends 20 dollars and vice versa. but she got me somereally nice, and it cost a lot of money. she got me a heart shaped picture frame with a picture of me and her in it, with my name ingraved, and the date and it was 80 dollars..
So far I'm giving her a Geauga lake ticket, and the next day shes going with me to geauga lake.
Any ideas that i can give her that are nice, yet not super expensive? (link)
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Maybe get her out of her house and make a little resteraunt type looking thing there. Then, you can order out or make her a special dinner or something.
Maybe take pictures of you guys while you're at whatever it is that you're going to ((lol, sorry, I think it's ballet, but I'm not sure)) then put together a HUGE collage of that and many other pictures.
People ADORE things like that!!
Good luck!
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hey! 16/f
i might be having a couple people over tomorrow! i have a trampoline but that will get very old very fast and i dont know what else we could do! because my friends need to be entertained 24/7 they get bored easily and there will be a couple boys but my parents will be home! we cant go anywhere because my car is in the shop getting fixed so yeah what could we all do because im going to feel bad if they are like ok this is boring what should we do.. (link)
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Music is a very key factor. lol.
Try blasting it, and everyone can freestyle.
Maybe set up a photo shoot and take 100 s of pix!! That's always fu n. Trampoline pix are good too.
overall, act really dumb, that's always fun. I also suggest playing man hunt. If you haven't played that before, it's a game like extreme hide and seek. A few people are it, and then theothers scatter EVERYWHERE and do ANYTHING possible to hide.
ha, I hope you all have fun!!
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