|
| |
Well, for the past week I have been debating something that has been going on between a friend of mine and myself. To start off I am 20 and he's 21 years old, we both go to the same college.
We've know each other for awhile now, were on the same sporting team at my school, we go to a school for aviation. We've been pretty cool to each other, pretty honest with each other. About two weeks ago a group of us went camping and got a little drunk that night and I had the idea to call a friend of mine from back home, in the process of the conversation that he had with my friend back home he let a secret slip that he has feelings and sexual urges to be with men but has been debating it because of his religious background (catholic) and his family.
My friend from home called me the next day and told me about what he had said and being that I have the same secret also which nobody knows I wanted to talk with my friend in question about this, we talked and he was okay with everything and he was happy that he had someone else to talk with. About a week ago tomorrow, we all went camping again, and my friend and I talked in private about some personal things and he brought up the idea about "experimenting" and so we did that night in our tent when everyone was sleep.
Not to be too graphic but we only had oral sex that night and after we were finished we talked briefly about doing more this coming weekend, to which we both agreed on because we would be able to be alone and not have to worry about being found by other people. throughout the days after I talked with him briefly by textting and so forth but his responses didn't seem right, so on Wednesday I wanted to talk with him about some things and he basically was saying that he was confused about last weekend and that he's been debating with God about what he has done and that nothing will happen past last weekend.
Well after our conversation I couldn't get what we talked about out of my head so I called him that night and we talked for over an hour about how I was able to be okay with myself and be able to justify my belief in God and how it was okay. By the way I consider myself Bisexual, I keep that as a secret and he's the only person who knows. But anyway after talking with him about what's going on he felt better and said "that as far as he's concerned this weekend is still on". He also told me he bought a box of condoms also.
In my opinion he wants this to happen and so do I but today I saw him again and he seemed kind of distant from me, we didn't talk too much only for a brief minute or two and also I sent him a text a couple hours ago but he hasn't responded yet. I know I may be feeling a little paranoid right now but I don't want him to feel uncomfortable about what were doing or with me which by the way we said it would be a friends with benefits thing which I'm okay with, we both don't want to be in a relationship with another guy so...
There's more to the conversations that we had but it's hard to type it all plus it was a lot. But basically my question is how can I talk to him and get him to be more comfortable with this and be more comfortable with me, personally I want this weekend to happen but not if he feels uncomfortable and I told him that the other day but I keep getting mixed signals from him whether he wants to do it or not, I mean he did say that this weekend will happen but he also said that he didn't also he seemed to have gotten prepared for this weekend also. (link)
| |
I'm sorry it took so long for me to respond. But as to your questions. To me it seems as if he is not sure of what he wants, his religious values/morals are making him unsure of what he wants. This is not something easy to decide, he has to decide between something he has believed in his whole life, and the expectations of his peers and family may also have some reasoning to his indecisiveness. I think he is fighting a battle with himself. He needs time to decide. And all you can do is be there for him, not only for his sexual fantasy or experiments. Maybe you should try to talk to him and tell him that you are there for him and if he is not willing be a sexual partner of yours then you must respect that, or else you could possibly lose a friend.
|
13/f
hey everyone! i have a problem. I pretty sure that some girls in my school think im a slut. I DO NOT do any slutty things at ALL...but these girls are kindof immature like that. I mean, i was at a birthday party and we went to the movies. My friend whom i kind of like, put his arm around me and i put my head on his shouldler. Then later i danced with him a bit. THAT WAS ALL!! i do not see whats so slutty about that. I dont know how im sopposed convince my friends that im not a slut! Its not even me, its them! I really dont want them to think of me as a slut because im not. I did talk to them about it, but im sure that there is doubt in thweir minds. Please, how do i convince them? (link)
|
There really is no way to convince them other wise. All I can say is ignore this, if they would liek to be immature then let them it shouldn't stop you from having fun or loving life.
Hope that helps ya.
--Syd
|
my friend 1 was asking me who i like and i didnt wanna tell her but then my friend 2 was there and shes like giving hints about him like
"oh hes taken" "she has a crush on her cousin's cousin" " hes not freshman" "hes older than this guy" and all that stuff BUT she just didnt say the name and my friend 1 doesnt know him and all because he goes to other school so the friend 1 has no clue. But she didnt say anything about the other guy i liked because friend 1 knows him and stuff but
Do you think shes blabbing the guy who i like? should i trust her again? (link)
|
I personally think she was just mesing with you. She probly knew she didn't know who "he" was.
hope I helped.
--Syd
|
my 2 best friends have been
leaving me out. they dont do
it a lot and they aren't doing
it to be mean, but it still hurts.
they are making this movie for
school and i'm in their class and
they didn't ask me. i asked if
i could be in but they already
filmed it. all 3 of us hang out
alot but if i cant do anything that
day and the 2 of them hang out,
i miss so many inside jokes and then
they put it in their aim profiles and
i feel left out. they feel left out
sometimes too, i guess thats what
happens when 3 people are bffs but
i dont wanna feel left out and i wanna
know all the secrets or inside jokes. (link)
|
If you want in on the jokes then ask them what the joke was about, and yes when there are three bffs that is what normally happens, or it's just ya'll are drifting apart as friends, and it may be time for you to go and look for another group or other people to get close to. Explore your options you never know what you may find.
--Syd
|
15/F
I really want a boyfriend.
And its not like you can go buy one from the store ahaha, but I'm always meeting new people.
I dont know, just how did some of you guys find your boyfriends?
any tips..? (link)
|
If there is a guy I would like to get to know, liek to see if he would be suitable I would get to know him, talk to him. Things like that. And if he is I would flirt and let him know I like him, and see where it goes...
--Syd
|
(bare with me, be prepared for a long question but god bless you if you answer)
i dont know whether i want a lot
of "not so close friends" or 2 or
3 really close friends that i could
tell my deepest darkest secrets with
and to borrow clothes with & stuff.
i want a lot of friends and i have
like 40 friends, but im not really
close with any of them. we talk in
school but outside of school i dont
know their s/n and i dont hang out
with most of them.
i kinda want like 2 or 3 REALLY close
friends that would be like sisters to
me. but im afraid if i cut down and
half less friends than they might turn
their backs on me and i could be friendless.
im not good at explaining things but
you know how everyone has one "best"
friend. like for example "jessica"
is best friends with "stacy" (made up
names) and they do everything together
and they cant be seperated. i want
maybe 2 or 3 really close friends
because right now i have like 40 not-
so-close friends.
but the problem is i get bored with
people. if i hang out with the same
person for more than 10 times i get
sick of them and stop calling them.
all of my friends have best friends
that they have known since age 2.
i just get bored easily. =/
and besides, everyone already has
their one "best" friend and if
"jessica" and "stacy" were best
friends and i wanted to be best
friends with "jessica" i couldnt
just take her away from stacy
right? because that would be rude.
but im sick of seeing girls walking
by and they hang out every day and
borrow eachothers clothes and have
sleepovers all the time. by best
best best best friend in the wholee
world moved away last year and i havent
replaced anyone with her. i dont
necessarily want to "replace" her but
i want a new best friend that i could
be just as close with.
my old best friend and i were soo close.
we would go on vacation with eachother
across the country, our familys would go
out to eat, we would always do homework
together and we were never seperated. i
knew her for 9 years. but now im not as
close with anyone and i miss having that
one person that you can tell anything to.
i want a new bestfriend but i cant just
go up to one of my friends and be like
"hey lets be best friends." i cant do
that because they already have their
best friends. my friends we hang out
sometimes but we arent that close.
theres one girl that when i first talked
to her i knew we would be friends. we are
alike and we dont fight alot and shes so
fun to be with but we havent opened up
together and we are shy. ive only hung
out with her 3 times so we cant be "best
friends" shes always busy so i cant see
her alot and i never see her in school.
she already has a best friend like i used
to but i want to be her best friend and
be invited in her clique but i dont know
how. should i tell her i want to be best
friends? will that be weird? i dont know.
i want 2 or 3 close friends not 40 dont-
talk-to-out-of-school-friends....
help??? suggestions and advice are needed (link)
|
You dont have to cut all your friends in half! you can have 2 or 3 best friend and at the same time have a ton of other not so close friends. Its just finding those cloe friends... You will have to be selective. Because some girls will act liek they are your best friend and run their mouth about everything you tell them. May not be what you want to hear but its the truth. You will find best friends and I think they are more important than not so close friends. And dont worry about "stealing" other peoples best friends... it is bound to hapen some time.
-_Syd
|
|
I need help.badly.Im a female age 15 from New Jersey and im in highschool.I knew this boy for about a year and a half.I've always liked him and still do.We have been best friends and still are.I need advice see this is why.We both have the same classes and we are always together.We make each other laugh and everything.One day we were walking home from school and we went to my friends pool party.It was really big.When i changed into my bathing suit he said that i looked nice and gave me a kiss in the cheek and then dronk his juice.well then when we went inside aftre the pool party cuz some people slept over we were going to play truth or dare.My best friend knew i liked him so she did it on purpose.she dared him to kiss me.i was shocked.obviously he was playing but when he gave me that kiss it felt like i was in heaven.He is the most popular and hottest guy in school and im the second most popular and hottest girl in school(says the yearbook)and sorry if it sounds conceited but im not).Now i feel shy to sit next to him or talk to him.what should i do.Now he looks at me like in a way he never looked at me before.He flirts with me and holds my hand and i dont know what to do.does he like me.does he not like me.should i flirt back should i not.What should i do.PLEASE HELP ME.I NEED ADVICE.ASAP. (link)
|
Go for it girl lol, flirt back! It couldnt hurt! You obviously have a way to tell that he likes you and since you like him you too will probly end up hooking up sometime.
--Syd
|
|
td on the bus, my one friend jackie was sitting in front of my other friend natalie. i was sitting in the seat next to natalie but then krista moved me in. so, krista told me that like jackie whispered something to natalie about me and she knows for fact it was my name and that it might have been something bad. i dont want to make a big deal out of it since it might not even be true, but this isnt the first time i've heard about them saying rude stuff about me. i dont want to jump to conclusions when it might be a misunderstanding. what should i do? (link)
|
ask them about it. No big deal when you are alone just be straight forward adn ask about it.
--Syd
|
Okay, so I have a friend I met over the internet. Her name is Mary, and we've been talking for almost two years.
She seems like a real kid, but I'm not really sure of what I can trust.
I dont know how to tell, and I'm not sure if there's anything I can do to know for sure.
So, she just asked for my address, to be able to exchange presents. I've talked to her on the phone before, but I've always thought there's SOMETHING you can do to fake that... (I get this from my mom). So I dont know whether I should actually give the address or anything. My dad knows I'm still talking to her, but my mom dosen't.
Ahh, please help!!
Jessie =D (link)
|
Ask her if she has a webcam i know it sounds stupid but live webcam is one way to tell who you are talking to! and Tell her why you asked about it, if she asks why you wanted to know. Tel her your parents' paranoya is rubbing off on you.
--Syd
|
|
okay so every year me and my friends do a gift exchange. idk what to get them! i wanna be cheap b/c there is alot of them like around 20 25 $ we are in 8th grade. i asked one of them how much money she spent on me and the said she doesn't know and that its not a good gift but its touchingso yeha what should i get her (link)
|
If you want it to be cheap find a sweet christmas card, and find something small and cute to go with it like a little bracelet, it doesnt have to be expensive but something she would like!
--Syd
|
|
I just- dont know how to make friends.i feel pathetic saying that,but really,its the truth. i have no idea how to start convos,act normal and just have fun and join in. no idea. and everyone seems to be so uncomfortable(sp) around me. i dont think im ugly..and i doubt that even matters. but i was kinda in this group and now im just there,i dont mean anything to them,only 2 i really talk to. its like if i left it wouldnt matter. i dont know how to open up,and i really need help, what can i do so nothing is akward?i really want friends who care. it seems so easy to everyone but me. i just feel like dont belong anywhere. i dont even know how to take the first step,if you've been through this,can you please help? i really appreciat it. i also need advice on being friendly and not makeing things to akward/makeing people feel uncomfortable,i love it when i make people smile,but it barely happens.please help & thanks. (link)
|
Yeah i know exactly what you mean. I really don't know how to tell you what to do. Everyone has there one thing. All you have to do is find it. I can already tell your selfesteem isnt that high so you are quiet and think about what your gonna say way too much. Say the first thing that come to mind when around them I know its hard but if they act like your stupid laugh with them as if you don't care if they laugh at what you said, laugh it off and follow that with another covo subject. Relax and be yourself.
--Syd
|
|
okay. theres this girl hali who lives next door to me. so yeah we get off at the same bus stop. well she doesnt like me very much & i dont like her very much either. well anyway we always have to walk with each other for about 30 seconds. its always totally awkward because i can never think of anything to say. it gets even more awkward when i try & think of something to say & then when i say it she looks at me like im a retard. what can i talk to her about so it wont be so awkward? & dont say anything retarted. (link)
|
I dunno if you could pull this off or not but be sarcastic, and say something about "what a long walk this is." Yeha she may look at you like your retarded. Then back that up with another funny something... Bein outgoing and fun is always an icebreaker
--Syd
|
ok i no this might sound stupid to some people but its really serious to me!!! and i have no idea what to do. ok so my best frined is a guy and forever we have been close. so just the other day he told people that hes liked me for three years. those people told me so i am obviously shocked! because ive always only thought of him as a friend. He doesnt know that i know. i love him as friend and absolutely nothing more. Hes been trying to get me to guess who he likes, and he also keeps trying to tell me... i can only change the subject for so long! PLEASE help i dont want to lose his friendship and i dont want things to change betweeen us not even a little.
please please dont tell me just to tell him that i like him as a friend and nothing more... cause i could have thought of myself
thanks for answering
(16 F) (link)
|
Actually your answer would help out but i would tell him that your afraid your relationship (as close friends) may change if yall go together. after telling him that he wil probly say It wont I promise.. Well thats when you tell him, your not gonnas risk it and sorry... mayeb that will work it worked for me.
--Syd
|
ok so i think collage and school is soo important to me
but there's this one girl who wants to fight me because i liked her rebound boy and she went crazzy so weve been fighting for days now and today she came up to my face and i called her a slut but see i dont want to fight her because it will show on collage records and im like a good student but not a nerd you know what should i do
helppppp?? (link)
|
I was in a situation close, to that, I talked it out though. I really don't know what type of person she is. But school is important. One day, when you see her and it's just you two, ask her if you could talk to her. And see if she will listen, tell her you don't want to fight her. And even if you didn't do anything or you don't think you should, tell her your sorry, for liking him or whatever.
--Syd
|
16/female.
Let me just start out by saying that I am a STRONG believer of gay marriage, and I have absolutely NO problem with homosexuals in the slightest.
One of my friends is a lesbian, and I love her because she's amazing, she really is. But, lately she's been really touchy feely. She writes me notes saying, "I know you're in denial, I know you're conservative & straight, but you should atleast experiment & give it a try." I AM straight, I was born it, so I can't just change and be a lesbian, that's what I think & feel. I'm not attracted to her at all.
She'll like come up to me in the halls at school, and hug me and kiss my neck and shove me up against a locker, and it seriously is beginning to look like I'm a lesbian.
When she does this, I just say, "Nooo! STOP IT" Like, I don't know if she takes it seriously or not, but when I say stop she does. So, today on AIM, we were talking, and this was our conversation:
Her: I'm going to look hot tomorrow in school.
Me: Ahah, Whyy??
Her: I got new clothes.
Her: Kiss me?
Her: :)
Me: Ahh, that's nice! :)
Me: lol, No thanks.
Her: No thanks, what the fuck?
Her: Why did you say that?
Me: To the whole "kiss me" thing.
Her: Whatever.
Me: HEY! don't!!
Her: Don't what?
Me: Be mean. :(
Her: You did this yourself.
Her: It's your fault.
* BLOCKS ME *
Ahhh, so. I just would like to know if this is any of my fault at all. I'm not LEADING her on, I wouldn't even know how to do that. I'm dating a guy & I'm really attracted to him & she knows that. But she'll always say that I need to experiment with her & stuff, and it's just really weird for me.
Thanks in advance. :]
(link)
|
No it's not your fault. If she didn't understand hat you weren't that way then it was her fault. I had the same problem. An dlike you I have no problem with homosexuals.
--Syd
|
|
