about

hiya I'm shelly, I'm 20 and from England. I have the best boyfriend in the world and he means so much to me. I love to help people and I've just started using Advicenators again. I hope i can help you all with your problems feel free to email me x


advice


Okay I'm 17, I've never had a boyfriend, I don't party that much, i get really good grades, my GPA is a 3.8, I rarely ever get in trouble with my parents, I've never really done anything wild and crazy...i do hang out with my friends usually on weekends.... Ive never had sex with my boyfriend.
I don't know I just feel like I'm extremely...boring. I want to party, have fun, and stuff like that. I feel like other people see me as boring and I feel boring. I don't wanna do drugs, have sex and fail in school, most people at school do that but I don't want people to see me as a boring goody two shoes. I just feel like I'm going to have an extremely boring life, I'm scared it will be the same way when I go to college.Some people tell me I should get with the program or be like them. Some people don't talk to me because Idon'tt act like them and they might think Im a loser. If I get mad and curse at someone no one believes it, but I only do it when I get really mad. How can I get people not to see me as boring?
What do you think...?

Listen, you shouldnt change because people think your boring! In the end you are going to be much better off than them, your not going to be in trouble and at least when you finish school you will have excellent grades.
If you feel boring then maybe its just because you feel like everyone else is having more fun or a better time than you.
Start asking your friends if they want to go out either after school or on a weekend or ask your parents if you can have some friends over for a small party. The next party you get invited to then take up the offer straight away and when you show up just have a good time and enjoy yourself.
If people dont talk to you then its their problem not yours, you shouldnt have to change for other people. Your friends and boyfriend love you for you and they clearly dont think you are boring. Plus I bet your parents are extremely proud of you for doing so well in school and for not being a "wild child".
Btw dont think you need to have sex with your boyfriend to fit in, do it when your ready. I waited until I was 19 until I was sure I was ready and Im very glad that I waited and didnt just have sex because everyone else did.
I hope this helps x

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i have this best friend we have been friends seen's last year we all have boy problems but hers some how seem to be worse i cant get a guy as u read in my last question but she cant get the right guy she has a lot of guys over her but theres one guy named jake she liked him for what seems to be forever he says he does't but i can tell he does i can see it every one can see it one day he text'ed us telling her he loved her it turned out to be hes brother just playing a joke on her i asked him why did he let that happen he said he does't know anything and he does't care so i asked him do you like her cause i think you do a lot then out of nowhere he tells me he has a girlfriend its not true i know that for a fact so i told her what happen'd and shes been crying for two days she wants me to tell her what to do when she goes back to school and see's him but i truly don't know what to do what should i do to help my best friend

Ok if you keep asking him and each time he says he doesnt like her, maybe he just doesnt want a relationship but if you leave him alone he might realise he does like her.
All you need is your girls when you have guy problems, hang out with her, have sleepovers, watch movies and just have fun with her. Make her forget about him and move on, there are plenty of other guys out there that will treat her well
Hope this helps
xo

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ok im 14/f and im really good friends with a 11th grader.well hes really hott! and he found a note i wrote about him and now he wont talk to me because hes afraid that people will suspect things and he has a girlfriend what do i do i really want to be his friend again

Tell him that you dont want to fall out with him and that you really want to be friends again.
Tell him that you wont tell anybody about it, and you can just carry on as normal if he is willing to.
I hope you sort things out

hope this helps a little
x

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I have already done, I told her I am bi and that I like her. She took it well and of course she doesn’t see me in that way. I felt so uncomfortable because I came out to her and told her I have feeling for her. Which she told me she is sexually confused her; (That was last year). Last week at the ice cream shop, she started to talk to me about her teacher (in college) she told me he came out to the class telling his students he is married to a man and proud of it. She told me in her class the teacher played a movie or show about homosexuality. This made me open up to tell her about movies and shows I watch on logoonline.com a GLBT website. She always watches gay anime, basically what I watch too (which is funny. Never knew that till I found out). I couldn’t believe she will talk to me about that. I always wanted to share with her cause she is my best friend about my sex orientation but to afraid to. I still felt like she will judge me but she doesn’t...

why do I feel that way? why did she talk about that subject?

You probably feel that way because that is what you was expecting
You were probably expecting her to be all weird with you and not talk to you, and when she was alright with it I guess it shocked you but now you feel that she is judging you but not to your face.

Dont worry about it, be proud of who you are. And she is obviously a best friend because she hasn't let you "coming out" affect your friendship

=]

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lately my best friend has been acting different and it's just confusing me and making me annoyed. she comes into school in the morning and seriously acts like a zombie, im not kidding, like i'll say something to her and she won't even answer. i mean everyone has those days- and she's obviously not a morning person, but it's EVERY SINGLE DAY. and if i'm around her in the morning, she just puts me in a bad mood, cause like she'll just pass me in the hall and not say anything and if she does, it's hardly anything.

also, i'm not a mean person or anything but she's also been acting kinda bitchy. of course again, everyone acts like one at some point, but it's just making me not wanna be around her, even though i love her to death and she's my best friend. like today in history, my teacher was handing our tests back and she accidently gave mine to my best friend (it must have been mixed in with her papers) my teacher noticed that she didn't have all the tests to give back and asked if anyone had some mixed in. so my friend had mine, and a few minutes later i JOKINGLY said to her "you stole my test" and she flipped out like omggg no i didn't she handed it to me. then, later, when school was over, i was talking to my other best friend, along with this one, and mentioned that she "stole my test", again, joking-yet she was like stop saying that she handed it to me blaaah. like i've been best friends with her since 4th grade and she doesn't realize i'm joking?! it's not like i said it seriously..idk.

it's just weird and unlike her. when we hang out outside of school, she's usually fine (except for the fact she'll like leave at 9 pm willingly, we're 15 almost 16, who stays out to only 9?) i have 4 classes with her in school, so i see her a lot and half of the time she is in a bad/weird mood, so i try not to say much, but when i do, half the time she comes back with something bitchy, and she ends up putting ME in a bad mood. i'm confused, i wanna say something to her, but i'm sure she'll come back with something, and we'll end up in a fight. what should i do? sorry for the length, thankss.

You should invite her around to yours for a chat. Ask her why she is acting this way.
Maybe something is wrong at home or school work is stressing her out, idk it could be a number of things but the best way to find out is talk to her and ask her whats wrong.
Say something like "your my best friend and you can tell me anything so if there is something wrong you know you can tell me"

As for leaving at 9pm she may have a cerfew. Her parents may tell her she has to be home at a certain time. Instead of hanging outside school at night ask if she wants to come back to yours at around 8pm for a little while or maybe sleep over.

Hope everything goes okay
I hope this helped
x

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in my school, theres 2 lunch periods, most of my friends have 6th lunch, but i have 5th. which sucks, but whatever. i figured it'd be a good opportunity to meet new people, since i'm shy.
so i sit with my friend, who i've known since 7th grade, i'm not really good friends with her, but we're still friends, if that makes sense. she is best friends with this one guy, who sits there, along with his girlfriend. sometimes random people come over and eat too, mostly guys (good thing cause i have like no guy friends either anddd one is particularly cute ;]) so there's about 5 or 6 guys that also randomly come over, although they don't sit with us everyday. i don't think i've ever talked to the kid my friend is best friends with, i dont know why. he's just never said anything to me and i have no clue what to say to him. i've talked to a couple of the other guys a few times, but nothing that makes me their friend. i feel kinda left out sitting at the table sometimes, cuz they have all these inside jokes that i'm not a part of. also, like i said before, i'm pretty shy. although i'm getting better, i'm still not the most outgoing person, and in a lot of situation i don't know what to say. i want to be friends with these guys, cuz i have like no guy friends right now and they seem nice. i'm a sophomore by the way. i'm also really afraid that my friend is gonna be absent and they're gonna ditch me or something, and i'll be alone. there's other people i can eat with, but finding them in my school would be hard. soo how can i join in on conversations and get these guys to think i'm cool?

thanks so much, sorry it was long!

If you see them around college start saying hi to them and asking how they are, If you start talking to them more they will obviously talk to you too.
Start a conversation with them all at the lunch table, ask them if they have anything planned for the evening or if they have seen a certain tv show you like, something like that. Just start making conversations first and they will talk to you too. You'll be friends in no time
Maybe arrange to go out at the weekend with them and your girlfriends

Hope this helps
Let me know how it goes
=]

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ok i need help. i like this guy and he likes me back. weve known each other since the summer and have hung out every weekend. now its been time that i want to have a relation ship and so dose he should i ask him out or let him do that??????

Ask him out
He might be waiting for you to ask him

Go for it
=]

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So i had an idea to host a halloween party with my friend mariola. i want her to invite her friends, who i've met twice. it kind of ended up as me planning a party at her house, and now i feel guilty. i don't want her to say no or to force her mom to cook dinner for 12 extra people!! what should i do? all we've done is briefly talk about it// joke around. advice?

Ask her if she is okay with having a party and ask if her mum will mind cooking.
Ask her parents if she is allowed to have a party and how many people she is allowed to invite.
Ask her who she is thinking of inviting and once the guest list is sorted then plan it.
If you are both planning together then it doesnt seem like you are taking over and she will appreciate the help in planning the party

Hope that helped
=]

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13/f
okay,so there's this guy that I like, and I really want him to notice me,but I'm not sure how to do that without making it obvious you know?Please please help give me some ideas!

Be yourself! You cant be fake. Just talk to him, its that simple, Just be friends and then when you know each other more then ask him out on a date. Dont try to change yourself for a guy
Luv Shelly

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I am Male 13.

I have liked this girl now for 5 years.We are the best friends you could ever hope for. But she doesn,t like me any more than just being friends. Now for a while I was fine with it, I just kept thinking I dont like her anymore and it worked,m for a while. I went to camp over the summer and she met,What she called a really hot boy. This made me realize I still like her. Now when ever i am around her I hurt. Now heres the question i dont know if i should quit being her friend or talk to her which is really hard when on the subject of me and her. Plus it doesn,t help that i feel stupid for feeling this way, should I feel stupid.

No you shouldnt feel stupid, you cant help who you like!!! Talk to her about everything you feel and see what her reply is. If it is a neagative response liek she doesnt like you then at least you still have her as a friend even if it cant be anything more
Luv Shelly

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I went away with my friend a couple of weeks ago, and she was being a jerk, and now I don't really wanna be her friend anymore, what do I do?

talk to her about how she was acting. tell her how you feel about it and try to sort it out. if you dont want to make friends with her then find some other friends to hang around with she wil realise she acted like a jerk.
Luv shelly

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My friend told me that he was moving away...I'm very bummed about it but I dont know what I can do...Can someone please help me like how did you feel and what did you do and everything. Thanks a lot!

just spend more time with him until he goes!

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I care a lot about my friends but to some of them i kinda feel like im not that important to them and we always have fights and its really hard and i need to kno how to handle it cuz im tired of fighting and having to deal with it its really hard well plz give me some advice ill rate high
Thanx

Talk to them and tell them how you are feeling. I felt like that and me and my friends talked about it. If they dont listen then find some other friends to hang around with they'll soon realise that they do need you.

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I'm having a party tonight and i dont know what games we should play. Does anyone have any suggetions. Please no dirty suggestions b/c my parents will be home!!!

apple dunking. put apples in a huge bowl and fill it with water and try and get them out only with your mouth tho your not allowed to use your hands. lol its so funny.

Twister

Spin the bottle

get a large stick and someone spins around the stick 20 times and has to run around obstacles. it is so funny watching people falling over, great laugh.

pillow fights

truth or dare

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i had this best friend named ryley when i was about 5 years old years old!! we lived next door to me and we did EVERYTHING together!but then when i was 8 he moved and i never saw him again and now i am really starting to miss him. My boyfriend goes to his church and a few weeks ago he said his best friend ryley from church asked if he knew me!he said yes and ryley told him we used to be best friends!now i really want to call him since i know now that he remembers me! but i dont know what i would say!i sure did change alot from when i was 8 til now im 14.i dont even know if he cares or wants to talk to me..what should i do?

If he asked about you he must care. Ask for his number and ask him if he wants to meet up sometime
luv shelly

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Well i have this friend lets call him fred... Yesterday i was talking to fred when i found out that he had tried to kill himself tree times already... but the worst thing is he is only in 7th grade... what can i do to help him? please help..

try and talk to him and find out why he did it. Most of all just be there for him when he needs you thats the most important thing. letting him know that you'll always be there for him.
luv shelly

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I have a friend you always says she's really depressed. At first i really was worried and i belived her to the fullest, but now its like she does it only for attention!! I hate it! She wont even eat anymore! I try to get her too but she refuses to! I dont know how to act around her anymore, cause she always takes everything the wrong way, Please please please help!! I'll rate high i promise!! I just dont know what to do!

She might really be depressed. She might have an eating disorder. Just tell her that you are there for her when ever she needs to talk to you.
Hope i helped
XxXxXxXx

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15/f. My best friend has been ignoring me for the past week. Well, not exactly ignoring. She'll talk to me for maybe 3 minutes then go talk to someone else for a long time. I know it sounds like I'm jealous or something but I'm not. She always talks to her other friends and I was never jealous of that, because I have other friends I talk to too. But lately she's been acting like I'm not even there. Then one day this week I had some of her make-up (I don't know what it was exactly) and it came out of the pen looking thing it was in and I told her I was sorry and I didn't think it would come out and she got really mad and said "That was the last of that stuff I had! Now I have to go buy some freakin' more" etc, but that's not what started it because she started ignoring me before then. I don't get what I did to make her act like that towards me. I know no one else would know either, lol. But I just wanted to know what I could do/say to find out why she's been acting like this. Thanks. =) And no stupid or rude comments please.

my friends sometimes used to act like this. jsut talk to her and tell her how you feel. and if she has a go at you then hang around with some more friends until she calms down
luv shelly

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I am a 13 year old girl and I have a really close male friend. We hug all the time and a lot of people think we are a couple. I love him to bits as a friend but I don't like him as more than that. Recently I have started to 'like' this guy. I think I might have a small chance with him but there is a problem. My male friend has a crush on me and as we all hang out together it would make things really uncomfortable. I don't want to lose my friendship with him but if I got together with this other guy then we wouldn't be as close and I don't want to hurt him. What should I do?

dont go out with this guy just yet. tell your friend about the guy and that you like him so that he knows you like someone else. be gentle though becuase if he likes you he will find it abit hard to find out you like someone else. Tell him that you love him as a best friend but not a boyfriend, yo never know you may end up going out with him one day becuase relationships usually start just mates!!! lol
luv shelly

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I have a friend who cant keep her mouth shut! She tells everything I say and I always try to remember tp tell her stuff but sometimes i am just itcing to tell someone. I really wanna be her friend but then again I dont NEED her! any suggestions? 5 points for anyone who helps! xoxo

tell her that you hate it when she tells people what you tell her, if she does it again then leave her. you need to be able to trust your friends to not blab your secrets
luv shelly

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