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Dominica but I live in AntiguaOccupation:
Aspiring EntrepreneurAge:
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To share meaningful advice to those in need and to lend an ear to those who are brave enough to bare their souls.Member Since:
August 10, 2006Answers:
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August 26, 2009Visitors:
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about
Hey, I'm LadyJade. I created this column mainly because I genuinely love to help people with stuff that they are going through or share with them stuff that I may have gone through or may even be going through. I love people who are "real" and down-to-earth. 'Life's a stage on which we are the actors.' The actors need direction and I want to help with that.
advice
My best guy friend has recently unloaded all his problems; I found out his dad's cheating on his mom, his grandpa died (his grandpa was like his excape from his parents) his parents continuesly fight, his grades are slipping, and he's been coming to school with alot of bruises latley.
I don't know how to handle this. I really like him and I want to help, but what should I say to him? What should I do?
A great friend stays by their friend's side when they'd rather be anywhere else.
15/f - Grade Ten in highschool
If you read this whole question and answer, thank you so much. My happiness is on the line, and I would really appreciate any help I can get. I will appropriately rate all answers. :)
When I entered grade eight (first year of highschool) I kept friends with some people from elementary school. After a year passed they told me I was an ugly bitch and a loser. They said it over the computer, not even to my face. I ditched them and made new friends, it took a year but finally I remade my life. Best thing that ever happened to me.
Over the summer I became friends with a new group of people and for the last month and a half I have been with them all of the time at school. I do not see my old friends because of their schedules, unfortunately.
These new friends have been ignoring me for the past month. They make plans infront of me without inviting me, don't save me a seat in classes and overall just ignore me. I knew it was because the 'leader' of the group was threatened by me because I was (not purposely) stealing attention away from her. She didn't want to deal with the competition so she started to ignore me. Everyone else started to follow, and soon it became really obvious.
Today I invited one of the girls to go shopping with me and she was supposed to call me yesterday but didn't. When I called her this morning she lied and said she 'didn't know' that one of my others friend's birthday party was today so she couldn't come.
The other girl, having the birthday party, invited basically everyone she knew to the mall to go shopping. There was not a limit on people that could come, but I was the only person not invited.
I have not done anything wrong, at all.
I know I can't be friends with them anymore, but I have run out of options. My school isn't that big and because of the events over the last two years, I have tried being friends with everyone. I have run out of options.
I tried talking to my 'friends' about ignoring me but they ignored me. I should of known better.
What should I do? I do not have any more options of friends here.
So far I have only thought of moving, but for all of that work, will I really find any decent people?
Or I could always not be friends with anyone until I graduate and people mature.
Finally, if I stayed friends with them (or tried) I would have to put up with how bad they are to me. Should I really have to do that?
Girl, reality check-GET NEW FRIENDS who are more down to earth. You do not have to move or anything like that-just change your friends. You sound like you are hangin' with the popular crowd. Well most of those people are usually fake and shallow. If you fit that description then go ahead and put up with them. If you're not fake and shallow then there are Alot of other people out there who'll love you for you.
You're young and may not see it now but Remember YOUR HAPPINESS IS DEPENDENT ON YOU.
all my freinds are like super depressed and im starting to catch it to. so i tryed to cheer them up and guess what they seem to hate ME now what should i do.
If all your friends are super depressed all the time hon., it's time to get new friends. Friends that will influence you for the better.
ugh.. i don't know what to do! there's so many things that go wrong in my life, i just don't know how to handle it all..
first off my friends are making me feel like poop, just because i've messed up. they call me a slut and stuff too.. when i don't see how i am..
then there's this guy i like, and he just acts so mean to me, even though he knows i like him, and he told me that he doesnt want to be like all the other dick face guys that just use girls and be mean to them
also, there's this guy that i've had tiny feelings for since last year, and i just recently got over him, because he was so mean to me, and just used me. and then this girl told me that he never liked me and stuff.. but he's being so nice to me, and i'm afraid of liking him again, because i know that he'll just end up making me feel terrible again.. and i don't know how to stop myself from liking him
I just dont know how to handle life.. i used to not have anyfriends, because i was different and out there, and i was overweight and annoying.. but now that i have friends, and relationships, everything just seems to go wrong, its like once one problem is fixed another one pops up..
can someone help me with what to do to help straighten my life out?!
In continuation to holahayley56's answer:
You sound like you've got some self-esteem issues. I think it stems from your "i used to not have anyfriends, because i was different and out there, and i was overweight and annoying" stage.
Sounds like you need a guy to make you happy and feel accepted so you do anything (including have sex with him) to make him like you. Well honey, take my non-expert advice; you can't MAKE a guy like, muchless love, you. It has to be real & natural-comin' from his own heart. Especially guys who "act so mean" to you.
And that guy that told you that he "doesnt want to be like all the other dick face guys that just use girls and be mean to them" might actually care. He cared enough to tell you that much & he passed up the chance to take advantage of you.
Personally, I think you should be complete as your own person before you get in a relationship with someone else.
I think you should start practicing self-respect & learn how to raise your self-esteem.
Do it now! If you need help my inbox's always open.
LadyJade
my friend slept over at my house, and we both slept in my room. i have a computer in my room, and i told her that she could go on my computer if she woke up before me, which she did. when i woke up, i was still in bed and i just opened my eyes, but i didnt move or anything. i could see from where i was on my bed that she was going through my computer and looking at all of my things. i could see that she was looking through one of my word documents. then when i said something, i sounded tired and she closed the document immediately and i could see she was hoping that i hadn't seen her looking through my things. i know that i shouldve said something but i didnt, and i completely regret that now, because it shocked me that she would do something like that.
so my question is...should i just try to forget about this happening? and also, is it just me or is it wrong for someone to look around someone elses computer without permission, even if they are(somewhat) a good friend?
thx a lot.
If it really bothers you then you should definitely talk to her about it. Everyone deserves some privacy-even when it comes to their computer. I know 'cuase I store some of my most personal stuff on my computer.
Hope I helped.
I'm always here.
I was talking to my best friend (who recently moved away) and she told me that i should let one of my guy friends into my life. she knows that i have a fear of opening up to people and trust problems because of my past. so, the question is, do i let this guy be a part of my life. or do i just leave it as aquantinces?
There's security and peace of mind in playing it safe in life but life without risks is boring and while it may keep you from pain, it robs you of joys in life.
Ultimately, you need to search your heart and ask yourself if you're ready for this step. I know you'll follow your heart.
If you need me I'm alway here to lend an ear.
Well we were really close friends and we always slept over each others houses. and one night when he slept over i wanted to go to bed and he wouldn't let me soo i started dancing on him and he left me alone. and then he started feeling me up. and now it's really wierd. we never really talk anymore and it hurts. i use to tell him everything. and now he doesn't act the same anymore. should i talk to him about it or just drop it?
I agree with clouded bluee. Maybe he liked you and you hurt his feelings when he found you felt it was weird so he backed off. You probably hurt his pride as well.
Talking from experience, you should probably give him a little time to get over it but if that doesn't work you might have to talk to him about it. It won't be easy but if you value your friendship, you should tell him why you acted the way you did and how you feel about the whole situation. Most of all, tell him how much you value your friendship with him.
I want to keep more things to myself. I complain about everything all the time, and I always talk about people, good or bad. I hate it, how do I learn not to tell people everything, like when to stop? thanks!
I think your a very open person-probably more frank than most of us.
Being open can be very beautiful-that is without the "complain about everything all the time".
Here's a tip: the next time you are about to complain about something you should do one of two things: 1)try to think how it could be worse
OR
2)try to think on the posotive side of
things.
And the next time you are about to talk about someone good or bad, think of how it might affect the person and whether it's appropriate or neccessary.
Lastly, try listening to what others have to say more. People will start to look at you differently too for 'there are few who don't become more interestingwhen they stop talking.' Mary Lowry