E-mail:
xcrimsonxsinsx6@aol.comGender:
FemaleLocation:
nyOccupation:
advicenatorAge:
15AIM:
xcrimsonxsinsx6Member Since:
June 19, 2005Answers:
158Last Update:
November 12, 2007Visitors:
10683Favorite Columnists
Cux
ArghhJill
Main Categories:
Music
Random Weirdos
Friendship
View All
about
Hey, i'm a young teen who leads a normal life, or about as normal as it gets. i love to help people and hope to some day become a psychologist. You're welcome to ask me anything you want and i'll answer the very best i can.
advice
how do you stay bestfriends with a guy: i know this guy who is only bestfriends sometime: we flirt alot but we both know that were only friends& it doesnt mean anything:: like what could i say to flirt with him but for him to know its only a friendship?
URGENT!
1. go out in groups
As much as you hate to care what others think about you, if you and your best guy friend go out alone all the time, (a) other guys might back off because they’ll think you’re boyfriend-girlfriend, and (b)people will constantly ask if you're a couple-annoying! Point is, you're not a couple, so limit the time you spend doing couple stuff. Not to say that you can't see a movie together now and then, but guy friends are better in groups!
2. keep the affection in check
Even if he's never thought of you that way, and you've never thought of him that way, too much touchy-feely stuff starts to put the idea in his (and/or your) mind. It may be tempting to give him hugs or put your head on his shoulder, but it blurs the line between friends and more. Sure, he's the perfect stand-in for when you absolutely need a date, but don't treat him like a stand-in boyfriend, okay?
3. don't ask for dating advice
Guys don't discuss the minute details of their romantic relationships with each other like girls do, so they don't expect platonic girl friends to either. If you do, he'll get confused. He'll either think you want him to be the hero who saves you from your evil boyfriend, or he'll start picturing you in couple scenarios-which doesn't bode well for the whole platonic thing, if you know what we mean!
4. don't give dating advice
If he's seeing someone, you're going to form some opinions about her. But hold back the advice (and if he asks, try not to judge her). Nothing will kill your friendship faster than if you bad-mouth his girl after their fight and then they make up two days later. You can't take back your words, and his GF will hate you forever. If he has to choose between his girl friend and his girlfriend, you'll lose.
5.let him down easy
If he admits he likes you-but you don't feel the same-be honest and direct so he knows you won't change your mind. Say, "I love our friendship, but for me, that's all it is. I don't want to lose that, but if you feel like we shouldn't hang out for a while, I understand." Then respect him by acting friendly-not flirty.
13/f. for the past 2 years i have been playing softball. this year 4 of my friends are doing it also, and i get left out sometimes. now since they are doing it, i don't know if i want to do softball. plus, one of them is taking my spot(pitcher). i was thinking about trying track because i am a decent runner, but i dont know anyone whose doing it.
soo, should i still do softball and probably get left out? or try track?
please help soon, tryouts are this week
well track is a great way to meet new people if you don't know anyone but also you shouldn't let your friends run you out of a sport you love. you're there to ply not to socialize so if they are socializing during tryouts and your working hard you would probably get picked over the, besides there is no reason you can try out for one sport and if you dont make it try out fir the other one.
14/f
this is probably going to be long.
ok so i met my best friend gab when i was 6. This past summer, she met some new people and became good friends with them. Best friends with 2 of them actually, even though i was supposedly still first. They hung out every day and spent so much time together that i felt left out and depressed. Now Gab has never been in a relationship, neither had andrea [one of the girls she became best friends with]. This past week while I was on vacation, Andrea got a boyfriend. I came back today and Gab immediately told me what happened, and details and everything. She says shes not sure if she and andrea will be very close much longer because of this. When she told me this, I felt a tiny bit of joy deep down because that means that I'll have her to myself again, in a sense. I don't know if I should feel guilty for feeling a bit happy though...because gab did pretty much ignore me because of andrea for like 5 or 6 months. So if you made it this far without getting confused, could you help me out?
Thanks
there is absolutely nothing wrong with feeling joy, she took away your best friend in a sense so don't feel bad. you deserve to feel some happiness. its a normal human reaction
Ok me and my freind were at the mall and, we soo a freind of mine. He didnt no her. I have non her since fourth grade. Anyway ive liked for about a month now and, he came on to her today and, followed her everywere, he wouldnt stop she was hitting on both of us. I dont no who she likes but, my freind i think no's I like her. What should I do? Hes relly cocky. And can you give me some advice on how to get her to like me. Im pretty shure she likes me though, cause in the movie she wouldnt stop like leaning on me and, and my freind was like trying to get her but it wasnt working. But she said me and her were at a party and she said me and her had sex and I got her pergnet and she has a miss carage. I no I didnt so I went along with it. But what should I doo about my freind? And what should I doo about getting her?
ok, first you need to understand that its chicks before dicks and bros before hos and you need to make sure your friend understands that too. as for her, if she's the romantic type, win her over with flowers for no special occasion or just give her a lot of attention. if you think she likes you ask her if she wants to go see a movie together just the two of you. it sounds like she'll say yes but if she says no its not the end of the world. take it from me, girls love it when guys give them a lot of attention. i dont know what she was thinking about when she made up the pregnancy story but i definitly think you should ask her on a date oh and never say you love her in the first 2-3 weeks your going out and if she says it first during that time then you an say it back, also, don't be too clingy, a lot of guys get dumped for that. much luck, if you need more girl advice IM me at xcrimsonxsinsx6
my best friend who i have gotten to kno this school year. has been geting into alot of trouble with her pranets lately and is now sexually active. she barely hangs out wit us at school cuz she is too busy making out with difrernt boys and we don't ever go out to like the movies cuz she is having sex with them (diferent boi per night)..my friends n i are debating if we should tel her off that she is a bad influence and our true feelings towards her but we don't know if thaT would be right to do...we are confused..help us out.
i wouldn't tell her she is a bad influence because that could really hurt her feelings, i would sit her down and talk to her about STD's. there are a lot of STD's out there and some of them are life threatenting or non-curable. alos if she gets preganant she is going to ruin the rest of her life. make sure she knows this
I have alot of friends, but not alot of best freinds..people i wuld consider bffs. ANyways, i'll be talking to one freind and then another one will come and we'd all be talking, then the 2 would have to go to there lockers and would meet me at class or lunch soon, but i have a huge feeling in my gut they are now talking shit about me at there lockers. do you think they r or do u think that im being paranoid. becuase at times i feel they are since they are SOMETIMES during some convos before they go to' there lockers on each odd day b4 lunch, they sometimes say when i say outrageous things "your so weirdd *giggles alittle*". it seems after they leave that they are saying like 'omg shes so annoying. wowww"
PLEASE HELP!
everyone has that paranoia and its pretty logical considering the way girls behave but in truth no one can really tell if their talking trash about you except them. but be careful who you trust because they can hurt you.
i wish i had 1 best friend that i could share all my secrets with, and that would be like better than all my other friends and stuff. but most of my friends are just good friends and stuff.. but what do you consider to be best friend material? idk if we're more than good friends yet.. even the ones i've known forever. or maybe they are, but like i still dont think i've found someone that like completely blew me away and that i'd totally know is my best best friend. :/ how do i get one? How do i find one? im always hoping for a new kid in the neighborhood or in my class at school and that we'd click and become best friends. -sigh- what should i do?
13/f
awww! i know that feeling, i'll be your best friend, im an awesome secret keeper, but anyway, you can't really find a best friend, best friends jsut sorta happen, it starts out with just good friends and then you start talking to someone more and hanging out with them more and then yuo sorta just become really close, not everyone has a best friend but everyone should, try hanging out with one of your good friends more or if none of your good friends seem good enough go to a gathering like a teen church gathering or join a club, keep an open mind and you'll meet tons of new people.
what exacly does understanding means? can you give me an example?
im from korea
understanding in the dictionary means identifying the meaning, an example would be that you do not understand what the word understand means. you cannot grasp the meaning of the word.
Friends change...How do you kno who is your real friend. I mean people can be soooo sarcastic. How do u kno if they are playing or mean it...
if someone is constantly putting you down, you know they aren't your friend so if you know someone who is, distance yourself from them or approach them and tell them that if they want to be your friend they can't treat you like they, if they continue to treat you badly dont bother trying to be friends with them any more.
this guy that i like, he's really nice and all, but i dont understand him. ive tried starting convos with him but they never work out or turn out to be a few sentences. im friends with his friends and vice versa, but we always end up talking indirectly. here's an example. we would be in a small group at school. i would say something about 1 of the guys were talking to & he would reply back talking to that guy. that probably doesnt make much sense. it would go like this- me:heyy remember when this happened him:yeah dude [to the other guy] that was really funny. never directly talking to me if that makes sense?? anyway, even if i am talking he wont join in the convo and just watches me talk. does he really not like me or something? also if im sitting near him in groups, he'll automatically just move. i never did anything to him & everyone thinks im a pretty nice person and really funny. he doesnt act like this towards anyone else that i noticed. yes he might be shy but it seems different. if something is funny he'll laugh about it in groups and if i laugh he'll just stop. what did i do?! the only somewhat communication we'd have is if hes watching me talk to someone else. any ideas??
well, i have one, he may just be too nervous to talk to you directly so he retreats back to the safety of his friends. or becuase he's nervous he may be uncomfortable to sit near you. if this is the case then you need to show him that he can be comfortable around you, maybe when he responds to a friend instead of you, butt in with a comment like, when he says dude that was so funny, be like yeah i thought so too. make it normal and natural to talk to him and he'll warm up to you
mk, this girl who is my best friend and has been since 3rd grade is the biggest hypocrite who has even been born on this earth.
for example, she said she hated when people go, "umm okayy?" or, "okay..." and then she does it. she said she hated the word drama and she uses it. she said she hated this girl, amanda, (who is supposedly her best friend) and then she suddenly loves her when she feels like it. she said she hated this girl, nicole, & then she acts like they are really good friends. she said she hated ae, a&f, & hco .. then she goes out and buys 30473982423 things from those places.
GOD! i can't stand it. what should i do to make her stop!?
lol, this is an interesting problem. i really don't think there is anything you can do to make her stop. maybe bring one of those elements to her attention like if she comes to school wearing an ae, a&f or hco shhirt to school, be like "i thought you hated that store?" and maybe she can give you an explanation. or maybe she is bipolar and thats just how she is. good luck. lol
I`m already worried about starting
high school next year, especially the drinking
scene. My best friend was given 20 minutes to
live this year after I found her severly drunk
at a soccer game. (Keep in mind, we're 8th
graders) Well, I had no idea any of this was
going on and I'm not sure if I can handle
my other friends getting into drinking next
year. How do I keep myself out of it?
I'm not up for risking my life like she did,
but I am curious about trying it! Thats the
problem.
ok, here's the deal, i'm a ninth grader and my year is half over. the most important thing to remember is that alcohol can ruin your life, whether you die from poisoning or get in trouble with a teacher your paretns or a cop it can screw up your life, so stay above the influence. i'm not gonna say its all right for your friends to drink because its not but you need to take care of yourself and maybe help them if you can. if they offer you anything the best thing to say that doesn't make you look like a dork is i can't mix alcohol with my medication, i actually am on medication and although i've never been offered a drink i know what to say, and my life is perfectly fine without alcohol, i dont feel like i'm missing anything. we are at the age when we are most curious and people start to experiment with sexuality, drugs and alcohol, so dont screw up your life and if you tell a friend your excuse about your medication and they still push you, then they aren't your friends and they wouldn't care if you died because mixing any medication with alcohol is very dangerous and you can die, so stay away from them if they pressure you too much and stay away from alcohol in general and you'll be fine and you wont ever have to go to an Alcoholics Anonamous meeting. Good luck next year!
Okk. well i dont know what to do...because my parents ALWAYS talk about moving and i really dont want to you know? well when my friends ask me i say idn cause i dont but when there moms ask my mom says no so idn if im moving or not but i really dont want to...do you think i will end up moving?
♥
alright i can understand why you might be very nervous or feel a lot of pressure from your friends. there will be times when u CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE and are afraid to admit it b/c you know your friends will be upset. but trust me i have moved and although everything turned out okay getting through this is hard to get through. but it is hard to say whether or not you will move because i don't know what your parents are thinking but it wont be for a while because it takes a lot of preparation to move and it takes a while to pick a new house and sell your old one so e content for now and enjoy everyday
when i am with my friends i am really outgoing because im like comfortable with them you know? and also im a huge flirt. ok so people tell me that i think im the sh*t and i think im so cool and pretty and all of the boys love me. but thats not the case. what should i do because this is causing me a lot of trouble. it really sucks that people think that of me. please help. thank you ♥
your allowed to be whatever you want and i bet uyou most of them are jealous. they should get over themselves
Hello. I am a 14/m. A few months ago I made a REALLY bad choice and it got me arrested. :-\ Now everyone of my friends parents hate me.... except for two. Those are the two who have met me. The ones who have met me like me. All the others hate me for no reason at all. Half of them have never even seen me and they hate me. They won't even give me a chance. I regret what I did. But i think I deserve a chance. It just pisses me off so much. Is there anything I can do?
alright people are assholes for judging u! thats freaking retarded i hate when ppl do that anyway. i can understand your want to be accepted but i learned recently that there is no point in trying to please people because they will slit your throut when yournot paying attention and if they are to blind to notice all the good things about you then they aren't worth pleasing at all. dont even bother. well lemmi know what you think of my advice sn is xcrimsonxsinsx6
my friend haley is moving and i dunt want her to...can she live with me or one of her other friends...SHE MUST STAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
much lovee
I dont want to move f.o.n. but i have to. I hate my dad for it sumtimes but in the end it will all work out. You'll see me soon. I luv u!!!
HALEY
my boyfriend cuts and im really scared for him..he just started so i want to stop him, but when i do he gets mad at me. wat should i do? help help help!
THIS IS A WORTH WHILE ANSWER! I HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH THIS!!! Cutting starts out as a small action and then becomes a major addiction that the person depends on the cutting to take their mental pain away. It is a way for your boyfriend to concentrate on the physical pain instead of the mantal pain he is suffering. He obviously has something wrong that he is afraid to talk about or express so he takes it out on himself. Now that you understand the problem understand that he needs help. You need to convince him that he has a sickness and he needs help or the pain will only get worse. If he gets mad at you understand that you SHOULD NOT BACK OFF. This could be a life or death situation. Also important that you tell an adult you trust or get him to see a psycologist. He may be mad that you did that but in the end he will thank you for saving his life!
I like my bests friends bf n i slept with him. should i tell my friend or not...im really nervous because he doesnt even like her he likes me and if i tell her i KNOW that she will be very very mad and never talk to me again...i dont want to lose her...what should i do!!??
You have two choices both with positive points and negative points. Ok lets say you dont tell her the best thing is to ignore it and if her bf dumps her DO NOT GO OUT WITH HIM. SHE MAY SAY IT IS OK BUT IT WILL REALLY UPSET HER THAT YOU STABBED HER IN THE BACK. Now lets say you tell her. you should say that you really liked her bf and you slept with him but now you hate him and yourself for making that descion and your so sorry and never meant to hurt her. She may be really mad but if she's your friend and if she put herself in that position she will forgive you.
My good friend is having a pool party tomorrow and she invited many people to go. One of the people going is her boyfriend. I don't think I have ever hated anyone more than I hate her boyfriend. He treats me like shit, he treats HER like shit and they honestly make me sick when I see them together. I originally wasn't going to go because of the fact that he was going to be there, but then my friend Cara convinced me to go as well as my boyfriend. I made the decision not to go because I don't want to start anything with them. I know everyone is going to be there to have a good time, and I want to have fun but I CANNOT have fun if he is near me. I can't even begin to describe how much I loathe her boyfriend. I sort of feel bad that I'm not going but I know I'm making the right choice in staying home because I don't want to ruine it for anyone else just because I'm going to be misterable. But my question is, do you think I should go anyway? She really wanted me to go but I seriously will not be able to keep my anger inside if I see them together.
i agree with another person who answered. You should go and show her bf that your having fun and surround yourself by a lot of friends. But b4 you go tell your friend about how you feel and maybe she can do something about it.