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I am totally honest i tell it like it is and if you dont like it im sorry but im not going to sugar coat answers to make you feel better i want to tell people the truth and tell them what i think is right so if you find that what i say is mean or not helpful just give me a low rating and move on but please dont be rude after all i did answer you question even if its not what you wanna hear just take the time to appreciate. Feel free to message me thank you :) (L)
Website: Pavans website
E-mail: pavandyal@live.ca
Gender: Female
Location: Canada Surrey B.C
Occupation: care aid
Age: 21
Member Since: May 28, 2006
Answers: 1037
Last Update: September 19, 2016
Visitors: 47283

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My father took everything of value and left us.
My mother is mentally ill and now has no insurance(so she's off her pills).
My sister is a major suck up to our mother(Favorite child).

Were stuck in an Extended Stay hotel and,its sucking up all the income we have.We have tried all "free" places for medicine and help.But our income is too high,but its not enough for us to live on.

I barely make $150 a week from my job and, its considered part time.I'm at my job all day from 10AM to 4PM and,they don't consider it full time.So because of the time and all the work,I can't get a 2nd job.We have no car,so we take the public city bus everywhere(which is $1.50 there and back per person).

My problem is my mother.She's always been an mental abuser and only to me.She says that "I'll never be anything","I'll never go to college,and even if I did I'd fail it","Ill never be anything in life,or have a husband let alone a boyfriend"... That was just this week.

She said that to me because I told her to "hold on one moment" while I was filling up water bottles,and she wanted me to look for a phone number for her.It only took 2 minutes and I couldn't look away or I'd have water on the floor.

My sister is a major suck up to our mother.She sides with her even when moms wrong.She won't stick up for anyone and can't even keep a job that long.she keeps calling out at work and lying to them about why.I tell her to quit it and I get screamed at by mom (mom encourages her to call out).

Right now I got no friends,because I don't have time.I got no other family to go to,and right now mother plans on leaving with my sister.They plan to go to grandma's and I can't come.she made that clear.Were all old enough to be on our own,but we weren't ever encouraged or pushed to go on our own.Our mother was one of those ones that did everything for you,even when you didn't want her to (tried getting her to stop,but that only made her mad and she'd guilt me into letting her).

So where do I go?Do I leave my job and beg my deadbeat dad to go,live with him in another state?
Or do I take my chances on the street?If I do that I lose everything I own. (link)
I think the best thing to do is to start looking for a full time job, save a little and move out. If your not wanted or respected why bother living there. It may not be easy but i'm sure you can handle it. Your now an adult so you dont need to rely on people who arent really there for you so dont go and live with your dad either. With a little hard work you can make things happen for yourself. So start by getting a full time job and even if you cant afford to live on your own find a roommate. Good luck :)


He always yells at me and bosses me,and any time I get upset he mocks me, and some things he calls me like a gerk or bitch or asshole really hurts my feelings. But he doesn't care, he yells at me so loudly, and charges at me, and sometimes he slaps me, then claims he just taps me, but just now he made my thumb sting numbly, it's hard to explain. But a few times he left red marks. I kind of got used to it, and it's not just me, he screams at the top of his lungs at my 3 year old autistic brother, wich is harsh, don't you think? I've also heard him call my mom a hoar and a hoe and a stupid bitch, and other horrible names, and I'm not even going to share what he does to my sister. Once he took one of our cars (we've got 2) and didn't come back for a couple days. Honestly, I would rather my parents get a divorce. What should I do? (link)
Talk to your mom about everything going on at home and how you feel unsafe and if that doesnt work talk to a school counsellor or teacher they will help you. What your dad is doing is abuse and its wrong and the only way to stop him is to get help and make him realize that hes wrong.


ok so my mom is on facebook like all of the time and she never freaking gets off of it! every time i try to talk to her about anything, she tells me to shut up and go away. so i really dont know what to do anymore because its been like this for 2 or 3 years now and once when my dad confronted her about it she drove off and he was driven to tears (and ive never once seen him cry in my life) so that was the end of that and ive tried everything and it just never stops no matter what. please answer if u r in similar situation or if u have good advice. thanks in advance! (link)
Take the computer away from her and any other way she might have to get onto to facebook and sit her down and talk to her kind of like an intervention im sure if you tell her how you feel and she hears you she will understand.


With my cousins and my siblings, it's always revenge. Whenever we do something bad to someone, whether accident or not, we always do something worse to that person. All except me. I think what they're doing is wrong. What can I do? (link)
It just they way some people are and it can even be called a habit and its hard to change that and no matter how much it bothers you and you may want to change it the truth is you cant they have to grow up and change and eventually they will but what you could do it help them realize that what they are doing is hurting eachother and that they should stop.


Yeah..my gay dad is always telling me that im gunna live with him 10,000 miles away from my friends i REALLY dont wanna go what should i do to make him change hs mind (link)
Well i mean he is the adult so its his choice but tell him that you dont want to and just give him reasons and if it doesnt work maybe try finding someone else to stay with during school or the summer or just until you want to like maybe a relative or friend i know it will take a lot more convincing then this but just keep trying to tell him how much it would mean for you to live and if he doesnt listen then tell him he has to bring you back and let you hang out with your friends and if that doesnt work then i guess you'll just have to move and thats okay as hard it will seem at first you will be fine after you will make new friends maybe even better friends and who knows maybe you'll like it there more just give it a chance if not then theres always compromising with your dad to find a silution that makes both of you happy.


alright so my dad signed me up for this recruiting camp called maximum exposure. i already do club and i only get one week off from lacrosse the entire summer, and that week is the week of the camp. i told him i didnt want to do it but he signed me up anyways. now a couple of months later my friends all planned a beach week. its the week of the camp. i really really really want to go to the beach beacause i dont get a lot of time off from lacrosse. but i cant because my dad alrready signed me up for the fucking camp. apparently the camp isnt refundable, and it cost about $600 so paying him back is out of my reach.

i just need help in getting out of this camp and going to the beach and enjoying my summer. i play lacrosse all year round and i get so burnt out on it. i just need a break. any advice?

thanks in advance (link)
Well its your life your dad cant make you do something you dont want to do its not right and if he doesnt understand this then you need to make him just straight up tell him that you dont want to go to this camp and that your burnt out from lacrosse and you dont have the energy or the slightest exitement for this camp tell him you will do anything else but this camp and as for the money tell him he should have signed you up without asking you and that its not your fault basically tell him your not going and just go with your friends he will be mad at first but he will get over it eventually and he will understand that he cant just sign you up for anything he has to ask you because your your own person and have to right to decide what activity you want to do.


My entire family favors my younger sister over me for everything. She always gets all the attention, gets to do more stuff, and is handed stuff. On the other hand, I have always had to work for what I want. Now, my sister is 15 and my parents are getting her a car in a few months. And I'm 17 and I havent had a car yet because my parents are making me pay for it. They pay for her cell phone bill which is $50+ and they won't even get me one for much cheaper. I've always had to pay for my stuff, and its getting annoying how everything is being handed to her. With the stuff she gets in trouble with, she doesn't even deserve it. (link)
Maybe you should talk to them about this just have them sit down and talk about all this im sure they will reason with you and will treat you the same. But i think the reason they treat a little differently then you is because shes younger and maybe because shes just been spoiled since the beginning so ya dont take it to heart i dealt with a similar situation and i always hated it but i talked to my parents and they actually understood and made my brother actually work a little harder for everything and now were pretty much treated like equals.


Just yesterday i was playing on my computer trying to zone out from my problems and my sisters. Well anyways i'm juast asking for tips to help me out because i cant use my computer anymore and i need to zone out instead of remaining depressed like i have been for a while. I would tell people about my depression but i am very shy and i dont really like to talk. I need any tips to zone out and i will rate high for them............................. please help me out im going crazy!!! (link)
I know its hard to take to people about personal things but honestly you will feel so much better once you get your problems off your chest but if you dont want to then i guess the best way to relax or zone out would be to just keep yourself calm and by that i mean just sit down put on some music loud and scream and just get all your frustration out then just take a shower get a good night's sleep and then when you wake up just think about how these problems can be solved and if that doesnt work then you really should talk to your parents or a school counsellor or even your friends or siblings or you can just write down your problems on advicenators and we will try to help you out in the best way we can.


i have been single for to long and i dont no who to like (link)
You cant just like someone because your single and lonley you have to actually have feelings for this person so just wait until a guy you actually have feelings for comes around. Dating someone just because your single means a short term thing which will only last a few weeks a month or two tops so ya just wait around someone right for you will come.


Ok so today I was talking to my mom and decided to leave her room. So I do well the door wouldn't close right so I slamed the door shut. My dad come and starts yelling at me and comes in my room and tells me to stop being an asshole!!! Do you think thats's very fatherly? What kind of jacked up father calles their only daughter and asshole!! I'm really mad at him! What should I do? (link)
A lot of parents when there mad say things that they dont really mean im sure that you dad just said it by accident but if he calls you this all the time maybe you should just talk to him about his attitude and if you cant do that then just ignore it make it seem like you dont care and just go to your room play some music and just relax parent will always get on kids nerves there really nothing you can do its just a part of life with them but if you just keep yourself relaxed and dont let things get to you as often then you should be okay. Hope i helped :D


18/m lives in Ohio

With in a year i will be going to boot camp, I have a good family friend who died in Afgahnistan. He was a marine, but i know thats where the airborne are. My parents are very fearful of anyone trying to join up. My sister thought about it and my parents flipped shit even though she just wanted to sign up for the navy. I thought they were going to lock her in her room for life, but I already signed and its set in stone that im going... how do i break the news to them without them going nuts? (link)
Well it never easy for parents to have there kid go into war but i guess the easiest way to go about it would be to just tell them what you have chosen to do and also that your an adult now and can make your own decisions and that your going to be okay and they will see you again and plus what your doing is nothing bad because your doing this for your country and them in a way as well. I know for a fact that they probably wont want to hear you out but the truth is its going to take them awhile to understand your decision and to be okay with it so just tell them that you understand what there going through but they have to let you go sometime. Good luck :D


im 16.f, and my sisters 18.f. She is now dating a guy who is 26, just got out of jail for drug possession and he was previously accused of murder, but there was "reasonable doubt" so they didnt convict him, and was kicked out of his house. He is a drug dealer without a real job..yet my mother lets him sleepover, EVEN THOUGH ive talked to her about it many times, nad told her he scares me and i cant sleep when hes here. I also hear them having sex at night and thats just disgusting. I really need help because i dont feel safe at night with him here. Please, i need some help. My dad doesnt live with us anymore, and ive tried talking to my sister and my mom but they dont listen to me. (link)
Wow thats a lot to live with well i think if you feel this uncomfortable to live there while hes there maybe you should find somewhere else to stay like maybe with your dad or a grandparent or other relatives just for the days hes at your house. Also maybe you should talk to your school counsellor and have him/her talk to your mom or sister about the whole situation.


So...the same girl as i said before (the one who took my homework and gave it to someone else) well..today..she started talking about the guy who likes her and stuff..then..she said "wait i'll tell you later" after sometime...(hour or so) i asked again for her to continue...then shes like "wait!" (really angry face) then....later when she was free like totally free..i asked her ..then she says "why do you care? this is my personal problems" this really hurt me. she was the one who started the convo about the guy who likes her. i couldn't help but show her that i was mad at her...and ignored her for half of the day. and..when she was talking to me..i ignored her. but before we went home, i talked to her. tomorrow shes gona come to my house. so i have to talk to her. is this a good friend or not? and what should i do? I NOW KNOW NOT TO ASK HER ANY MORE FAMILY OR RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS....yeesh :'( (link)
K this is obviously not a good friend i mean she took your hw and gave it to someone else that should be the first clue of a bad friend and second of all getting you started about a topic and then totally ignoring you when you want to know more about it is kind of childish and i honestly dont think she realizes it but acting bitchy is not cool so forget her you can make way better friends then her. Let her realize how wrong she was.


my sister went to the hospital last night becouse her back and her stomack was hurting her really badly and the doctor at the hospital said that she had cists on both of her overies and that they could be cancer and I don't know what to do iam really worried some thoughts of encourgement or advice would be helpful if you have any it would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you I greatly appreciate it. (link)
Just tell her that everything is goign to be okay and nothing is going to happen and that you and your entire family is with you and that ytou love her and if she keeps faith she will be fine.


19/f

I am 19 and my parents dont really allow me to do much. I feel like a child. My friends all make fun of me for being under such close watch and not being allowed to go places and do things like most 19 or 18 year old do, because i always have to ask my parents and hope that they will permit me to do something... I have no freedom. I've fairly recently gotten in trouble for trying to go out, because I said so, and I was like... its time to stop being controlled by my parents and get out and have some fun.
I had to deceive my parents so that i could do what i wanted to do. I couldn even leave the house without my mom looking out the door to see who was picking me up and to see if they were there yet...etc.... I didnt know my mom was going to follow me to the door, so that foiled my plan. I was going to walk up the road, but my mom was like "no, tell your friend to come pull up infront of the door". And then she saw that it was a male friend and not the female friend i told her it was. I got in a lot of trouble and got yelled at and lectured.. Now my parents say they dont trust me and i cant go anywhere or do anyyything. My friends say "you're 19, you can do what you want....etc."..

I want to know if it would be f***ed up or not if I were to just slip out the house and move one day and not tell my parents anything until I get there. I want to live with a certain guy, but, i mean, when i am ready to move in with him and when i'm sure thats what i want to do. And I will call my parents from my new residence, or better yet text them and be like "umm.... yeah.... i moved..."

They dont even want me meeting with this guy. They dont want me to meet with no guy or do anything. And I am so tired of my parents! I need to get away from them! I'm not going to even bother with introducing them to the guy, because they wont want me with him cuz he's 22 and i told my mom a little bit about him and she's like "you dont need to be with him. you dont need to be with anybody. You need to focus on school and focus on gettin yourself together first (work on myself in terms of anxiety problems etc.)" They just want to keep me as their boyfriend-less child for as long as they possibly can.

And I dont want to bother with telling them i plan on moving out. So do you think it would be messed up if i just moved out, and in with this guy, and just told them about it after the fact? Just so they know what happened to me.. and that way they cant do anything about it (link)
I dont think its messed up that you want to move out at all because your 19 your practically an adult and you have your own decisions to make. So if your sure this guy is the one you want to live with then you should find a place and just do it but i think before deciding you want to move in with him think about how your relationship is and if hes truly okay for you to be with but i think you should wait for a few months until u move in with him instead find a place and find a femal roomate stay with her for a little while until you get to know this guy better then move in with him. The reason im saying this is because sometimes guys act different when there just going out with u and when they move in with you and start living with you they change and start to say they need space and what not so really think about this with an open mind. As for your parents just leave them because they cant treat the way they have been forever and until the change your going to stay away from them. hope i helped feel free to msg again if you need to talk about anything. :D


A member of my family with schizophrenia has living with me for about a month. I have tried to help her but I am at my breaking point. (link)
The best way is to just find them another place to stay and tell them that you cant let them stay with you anymore but you have somewhere else they can stay.


ok so heres the deal, my twin sister hates me im almost sure of it, i moved in with my dad who is in a different state than my mom my sister came with me because of problems, she got pregnant. my older sister asked me to move back so i aske my twin for some input, she flat out said she didnt think i should go back because she didnt want me there. i told her that hurt me, bad, and i cried my self to sleep that night and havnt talked to her since.
my twin and i , by the way, have been close since birth, BFF and closer we talked about everything, and rarely faught, when she told me that she didnt want me around it took me way of guard because she gave no clue or hint that i was even remotely bugging her. she never apologized to me and now shes back living with my mom, not cause of me, and i read on her myspace that she is glad she's back home and from "her" which im assuming is me since i was the only her here that she had a problem with when she left.

what should i do, im stubborn just like everyone else in my family but i cant totaly forgive her unless she apologizes, am i at fault or is she or are we both at fault? (link)
I dont think she meant what she said but sometimes being a twin is hard i should know i am one anyways the point is that being a twin isnt easy and sometimes always being together gets annoying and creates problems so just dont take it offensivly she just wants to be seperated because she likes it better when shes by herself because she's never had the oppurtunity to be alone because you have always been there i dont think you or her are at fault i think that you need a little seperation to live your life the way you want to and so just talk to her and tell her you understand whats happening and that your okay with it because you telling her that will make her want to talk to you more and open up and maybe one day when she feels its right she will ask you to come stay with her trust me as hard as it seems now things will get better if you need to talk about anything just message me ill be here to help.:)


this question is about new years. Im european and close to my family. My gradfather is not well but not dying. He's got a bad leg with circulation problems. Anyway....my mom wants to go down and spend new years with them, and being that im close to the family i feel obligated to go. thing is i gots a boyfriend i would rather spend new years with because with my family we'll be at home celebrating. What should i do? whats the RIGHT thing to do? thanks in advance (link)
the right this to do is to go see your grandfather because even though he isnt dying he is sick and im sure he would want you there and if you dont go and something happens then you will end up feeling guilty so ya you should definitly go and you and your bf could celebrate before or after and just make it special for yourself so that you will still have your special new years like you planned just on a different day.


So i am an african american who straightens their hair. I did it six years ago and i really regret it. So i told my mom i didn't want to straighen my hair the day we were going to do it and she starts yelling and screaming. She also hits me too. So during this summer I tried to tell her again. She did the same thing. I even wrote a letter and she still didn't listen. I don't know what to do !!!!!!!!!! She doesn't understan That this is my hair not hers and that i hate how i look like. I told her that too. Anytime i try to tell her he hits and yells at me. I need to convince her!!!!!!!!!! I'm really getting upset. (link)
K well how about you tell her to buy you a straightner thats thin that way you can curl and straighten your hair on your own and straightners dont really ruin your hair so you wont hate the way you look i hope it works good luck:) feel free to ask me anything else


what should i get my mom for her 50th birthday? something meaningful. not like flowers or lotion. (link)
jewellery is always nice i got my mom a locket with my picture in it and it had best mom in the world happy birthday and then love you but you could get any kind of jewllery and just personalize it so your mom likes it good luck hope i helped :)




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