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Q: My mom gets drunk at least twice a week, sometimes up to 4 times a week. Today she is drunk. Tomorrow is my 17th birthday, so I got the mail to see if I received anything, and I did, but I hate opening presents early.
I went to the bathroom and when I came out, the envelopes and package had been opened by my mom and she asked if I wanted to open them tonight.
I don't know what to do..I really don't like her right now. Opening my gifts for my birthday is ruined because of her. I've told my mom's parents and her sister about her getting drunk, and they've all talked to her. She won't stop. She says she's getting help every week..it isn't helping.
What do I do about her and my birthday? :(
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you have to be persistant.
a few years ago my mom used to be drunk literally every night; and she was rarely home.
but she finally went to AA and got help.
My older brother and sister and i just told her over and over again how much she was hurting us.
You need to make it clear to her that her drinking effects everyone in your house and family; her sister, possibly your siblings, everyone. Ask her to please go to AA or a physcatrist; if she is already going; ask her to go more.
I will tell you from experience; if she doesnt get help and break the habit; it will get worse from one week to three times a week to everyday. And at that point it's very hard to break it.
Tell her you love her, and you know that she loves you; but she is hurting you a lot, and you hate seeing her drunk. I found it effective to talk to my mom while she was sober and drunk; get in both sides of her mind. (Although if your mother is angry when she is drunk i would suggest not being alone with her; just to be 100% safe; because when drunk you never know what someone will do)
Just tell her over and over you love her and care about her. It WILL take awhile. it WILL take time. It WILL take effort from you; your mother; and all involved. it will also take patience; this cannot be solved over night; trust me i went through years with my mother because i didnt have the strenght to ask her to stop. it will take much more then one conversation; it will be hard; lots of fights and lots of tears. But leaving it a lone is worse.
Obviously you cannot force her into AA or consuling; but she DOES need it to get better.
Good luck with everything; if you need help with anything else; or just someone to vent to from an outside source; just send me a message on here.
Hope everything works out!
AuntieEm
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Q: I am divorced. We have 3 kids together ages 10,9,7... my son is the 7 year old. He comes home upset from visiting his father every time.He has been living with this boy who is 6 for a year, His mother has 5 kids by 4 different fathers and 2 are serving life in prison. one is (the boys) father. He is going to marry the boys mom in july and adopt him. This would be fine if he was a fit father but he is not.She is also a convicted felon.who only has custody of 1 of her 5 children. I am a suburban mom who makes a pretty good living, and gives my kids a good life, by the way he has also been convicted of domestic violence on our daughter. Should I keep my kids out of their home?? Its becomeing ever so bizarre.My son comes home cryin g because this new kid call his dad daddy, he feels like he has been replaced. His girlfriend told my son something about a month ago that set me off, they were spending the weekend with dad and girlfriend and my son asked when he was gonna see mommy and the crazy girl told him "mommy is dead i killed her", my girls said this was said..she has threatened to kill me through relatives, she is not all there. What do I do?By the way my ex and this woman were having affairs throughout our ten year marriage. This is not a stable environment for my kids, I am in a great relationship now and I might want to fight for sole custody and move away..Any advice??
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if everything is really that crazy then i say dont give him visitation rights
or if you need to then go to court and get supervised visits
this isnt a stable thing for your kids; especially since they are still dealing with your divorce.
sole custody and moving away might be the best interest for the kids.
you should sit them down and ask THEM about it.
privatly.
i am only 15 and my parent are recently divorced and they fact that they talked to me and my siblings about it made a BIG difference.
Good luck and ask back if you need any help
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Q: ok my dad has a girlfriend shea pretty were nice clothes all the time but when we go places with her shes loud and cause im skinny i tried on clothes and they were to big she started laughing that aint bad but she make me do stuff for her cause i dont be wanting to eat.So tell me should i like her or not? o yea and shes rude sometimes but she does hair kute and her mom talka about my sis cause shes fat. my dad also gets mad at me cause i dont like her wat should i do?
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only you can choose if you like them or not
but you have the right not to
i HATE my moms fiance SO much; and she knows it.
but she is still with him
so even if you dont like her; it's not guarentte she wont still be around.
talk to your dad. tell him why you dont like her.
even if you dont have real reasons; just talk to him.
it may not solve everything; but letting him know where you stand is good.
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Q: i have this cousin who is 15 and im 13 and he is so hot and he has been checking me out and i was wondering (we are blood related) what would happen if we made out or worse.
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uh, well, nothing really, i just tihnk it would be kind of akward and werid...
one of your parents siblings kids...
its just kinda icky to me
but i mean, there are some places where cousins get married so, whatever floats your boat.
no babies wont be deformed, and its not insest
and if you have sex, it is illegal, but only because of your age
(at least where i live, having sex under 16 is illegal)
so, yeah, if you really want to, go for it.just relize family things are gonna be really werid after this
but then again, like i said, it depends on where you live and how socity is there
so, good luck, hope i helped : )
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Q: I am a 35/f whose teenage daughter has been living with her father for most of her life.
When her father and I divorced it was decided she would live there because I wasn’t financially stable enough to give her a comfortable year-round home but she has always spent most of the summer with me.
While things have changed a lot now. I make a good deal more money, pay child support and have a much more comfortable home for her. She’s decided she wants to move in with me for the rest of high school because the high school in my area has a much better art classes and several of her friends attend it.
I’m delighted of course, the thing is, she is afraid to tell her father about this decision. She says she’s mentioned maybe moving in with me before, and it’s upset him or he has taken it as a joke. She has asked me to come over and be with her as she discusses the move with her father.
So my question is: Should I be there while she tells her father she has chosen to live with me next school year? I want to be there for her, but I don’t want her father to feel threatened or ganged up on. Part of me thinks she is old enough to be able to talk to her dad about this herself (I’m sure he’ll be a bit hurt, but he isn’t an ogre or anything, he wont go nuts.) So I’m quite torn, please advise.
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my parents are divorced as well, and i know that when i decided to move in with my dad, telling my mom was really tough, but it was easier with my dad being there.
he didnt really say much, but knowning he was there made it easier
let her do most of the talking, but if you feel the need to say something, do.
although, being able to tell my mom that wasnt as tough, seeing as how she lives only 2 miles from my father, how far away you and your ex husband live from each other might make it harder, but just remind him that he will still see her plenty and things like that.
i hope it helped and that everything works out : )
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Q: Hello,
I was just wondering if anyone can give me some good vacation ideas? OK, we live in Latrobe, Pa. We only want to go for a weekend. It will be me, my husband & our 2 kids, (3 & 6). We would like it to be somewhat cheap & close by. Even in the Ohio, West Virginia range would be fine. As long as it is in driving distance. So, if anyone had any experiences with any place fun & inexpensive or has any ideas in general it would be greatly appriciated. We can also go to places offering military discounts. Thankyou.
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if you like the camping ideas, somewhere close to Latrobe is Racoon State Park is AWESOME
also, if you are steelers fans (if you are, im sure you've done this, living in latrobe and all)
Go to training camp in august
i have gone the past 6 years (im 14 now) and its still fun.
Also, i hear luray caverns is nice and a fun place to visit, as well as the city of pittsburgh.
You could also go see a show in Phili.
Hope you find something fun! :)
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Q: Okay, I don't know you, but your advice column was rated really high. I have 2 dads and I live with my stepdad right now. My biological dad had a massive heartattack and he died today about an hour ago. I really am going to miss him...but I don't know how much I will miss him. I never really saw him, and one time he tried to kidnap me. So, I really need help. What should I do!?
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well first off let me say how terribly sorry i am.
There isnt a book on this kind of thing. You will miss him as much or as little as your head and heart decide. Somedays you wont even think about it, others you may cry your eyes out.
There isnt really anything you can do, you cant just say "i will miss him this much" or "i wont miss him"
Even if he has done crazy things in the past, your head and your heart (subconsiously) will take care of how much or little to miss him.
Again, im sorry, and be very greatful you have your step dad
If you need anything else, just ask :)
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Q: HELP!
I've had 5 relatives die on me the last week.
And I've given speeches on 4 of their funerals so far, and they've all been..awful.
Tomorrow I'm giving a speech on my grandmother, so please help! What can I say? I really have no personal memories of her!! But I have to do this - I promised!! please please help me.
Any nice heartwarming speeches you've heard of that I can use as inspiration ?? or any special websites for these kind of things?? thaank you!
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cliche but true, it should just be from the heart.
even if you dont have any memories
talk about that
just say something like
"These past weeks have been very tough on all of us, taking from us 5 members of this amazing family, and now .i didnt know her very well. and i dont have any good memories of her. That makes me really sad though, because from what i heard, she was an amazing women. I wish that i had been able to spend more time with her, and get to know her. Unfortuantly, so i never got the chance. Many of you in this room have so many great memories of her, yet there are many like me with none. It is now that i will say Rest in Peace and move on to Heaven (or whatever you and your family believes in) to my grandmother."
I am terribly sorry for your loss, and i hope that no more come of these next weeks. :)
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Q: omg i am sooooo sad this weekend i found out that my sister mardi passed away in child birth and the baby didn't survive either. then i came home and found out that my boyfriend almost got drunk off his ass this weekend. and i'm worried cause i lost my uncle in a car accident cause of driving while he was drunk. i just don't want to lose joe he means the world to me and i love him and i'm not afraid to admitt it anymore i thought i didn't love him but i do. i just don't want to feel alone anymore what should i do about joe and what should i tell my parents they don't even know yet????
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okay, first off
your parents dont know what
about
Joe? his drinking? your sister (god i hope not)
talk to him
tell him what you feel about his drinking
and i am so terribly sorry about your sister. My older sister just had a baby, and the entire time she was pregnant i had nightmares about that. I cant imagine it really happening.
Good job not resorting to drinking to feel better! I wish you all the luck in the world with Joe, and let Mardi & her baby Rest In Peace
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Q: my name is Rachel and iam a 17 year old girl and my dad died when I was 12 and sometimes I still find myself upset about it and it makes my grades go down when iam really upset how can I get over my dad's death?
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you will never get over it
ever
my older sister and i have different dads
her dad died right after her 15th b-day (on my 9th b-day, but not the point)
that was 5 years ago
look at old pictures of you too
write down what you rember about him or stuff you did together
make a box of pictures, old movies, what you wrote about him, and keep it in your room
remeber him
talk to your mom about him
if it effects your school work so drastically and that doesnt work, maybe talk to a school consoluer person (not a shrink, im not saying you are crazy)
but my sister talked to one for a while, and it made her feel a lot better she said
remeber him always, there will be days you are sad and upset, and that is perfectly fine. On those days, pull out that box.
I hope that helps hun! :)
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Q: Ok.Well the problem is My step brother and sister.One is 7 and the other is 4.They are Way out of control i think.They act alot more hyper then they should and its to the point where i dont even wanna be home anymore.It has gotten bad.I dont even feel at home here because they get away with everything,they could probably even get away with murder!I tell my mom all the time she needs to do something because they are too hyper but she seems to not think so.They have reuined My life.And im 8 months pregnant so im close to having a baby girl and i dont want to be around them acting the way they do especially with her! Any advice on what i can do,i cant handle them anymore! :-(
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my mom has been dating this guy
he is 14 years younger then her (he is 30)
yet, acts like he is still 13
and he has a 8 year old son
who cant tie his shoes and poo's himself on a daily basis (im not joking)
you could A) lock yourself in your room
B) go to your friends as much as possible
C) (hopefully) spend time at your dads house?
Also, you should ask your mom for just the two of you to go out to dinner and talk about it. Dont attack her. Just say, "i know they are little kids, but they are still hyperactive! It is crazy!" not rudely at all.
And try and remeber, they are little kids, they will be completly hyper, and since they are step siblings to you, they must be step to your mother as well, who may think "they arent mine, i cant do anything about it"
hope i helped, if you need to talk more, just send me a message :)
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Q: 15/f
when i was like 12, i would spend all the time that i could with my mom. i would actually hang up on some other friends on the phone to hang out with her. when i turned about 14, my mother maybe thought that i favored my friends over her (not true) but w/e. she probably just thought it was weird i wanted to go out with them and not want myself to be seen in the mall w/ her and stuff. but you know, that was normal like a year-two years ago. but she believed after that that there was only one way to get to a teenager. it was to talk to her/him in like foul language and get into AIM and myspace and all that. i guess its kind of cool my mom likes myspace, but not to the extreme she takes it. she goes on there at 6:00 in the morning to check if i have any comments. i never get to see when i have new comments and stuff because she looks at them first. she even responds to them! i think that is crazy and is insane and i don't know what else, but she can't just talk for me on myspace! its just wrong! i'm not saying it for any reason other than i like MY words to come out of MY mouth and not anybody else's. that really isn't the only way that she can through to me, and she KNOWS that i like her better than my friends because i don't really have any friends, well girl-friends that is. i only have one. the rest of my friends are guys, because i just get along better with them because i'm not in competition with them and we don't get jealous of each other and stuff. so, really, why does she get this way? i don't want to get into fights with her anymore..... does anyone have any words of wisdom that can help me here? thank you in advance
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change your password on myspace/AIM/AOL and whatever else you have
and dont let her know what it is
make your own section on your computer (if you can) with your own password
also, if you wanna freak her out, try and get into it
be like "omg mom! we should so totally say im at like a party or something, so then everyone thinks im really cool! and maybe we should tell girls that i have this really hot bf that i hook up with all the time so they get even more jealous!"
reverse her thinking
anyway, i hope it helps... :)
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Q: So there's this boy who is 10, my babysitter's son, and he's all nice and stuff. Anyway I'm 14 and it's not that I'm anti social but I rather not talk to him. The boy is creepy...he always watches and talks and laughs and then after just looks at me. It's so annoyin. It's not like I feel to high but I'm scared of him, not in a "i'm going to kill u" more in a way of "he likes me". I don't like young ppl like him and it's really scary. I think he has a crush on me cause he's always lookin at me and then he's being all friendly.
I don't want to sound anti social...but wen he talks to me i jus say yeah or no and shunn away. Wen he looks at me I look away or jus ignore him. What can I do without tellin him?
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you arent anti social
my moms boyfriend has a son
he is 8
and his little friends allways look at me
they are just little kids!
Be nice to him, you shouldnt be mean to a little kid that likes you! It is just a little kid crush, he will out grow it
but till then, dont be a brat
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bio
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Hey! I'm Em, my friend Tori got one of these, so i decided to check it out, and got OBBESSED! i am always giving my friends advice, so please, ask away, and i will do my best to help!
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Info
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Website: Gender: Female Location: NOVA Occupation: Gate Gaurd Age: 14 Member Since: June 4, 2006 Answers: 197 Last Update: July 8, 2007 Visitors: 14468
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
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