This is probably jumbled and random. I'm a little upset, so I apologize. Thank you in advance.
When I was little, my maternal grandmother lived with us a lot. I had a very close relationship with her, as I do with my mother. Her whole life she's had a hard time with personal relationships, and she's moved around and met different men, none of which have been pleasant. Right now she lives with an old man with a farm, and he's a little off his rocker, and doesn't like to go out or be around people, and besides getting anxious sometimes, he isn't that bad of a guy. However, they have this idea that they just cannot leave the farm unless they need something because they might get sick, and of course, they can't afford that. I haven't seen my grandmother in around a year, even though she lives about half an hour away. My step dad and 8 year old brother saw them from across the street at a gas station. They all made eye contact, but couldn't even be bothered to wave. Just last year, when I was still in highschool I had a lead roll in our winter musical, and we were doing South Pacific. It's my grandmother's favorite, and she promised she'd come see. It was the only thing that kept me from dropping out. She didn't come. Graduation rolled around, and I sent out invitations. She sent me a letter saying that she and her boyfriend or whatever he is would "be there in spirit." I cried both times. I know she's never had the best mental health, but it makes me angry. I want to write her a letter, but I don't even know what to say to her. My mother hasn't really ever had the best relationship with her, and it's at it's worst right now. They haven't spoken in months. Grandma sends occasional cards. She doesnt know what my siblings are up to, she doesn't know I moved out, or that I'm seeing someone. I'm so hurt by her lack of action, but I miss her. I know where they live, and I want to go see her, but I don't know if that would be the right course of action. I'm upset right now, so this whole thing is probably very jumbled. I also don't know if I should take how my mom would feel if I went to see her into consideration. I'm 18 and it's not really any of her business, but I love my mother very much. Also, I don't see or talk to my family much, despite living 8 blocks away, and I don't want another confrontation about it..
I want to see my grandmother again. What should I do???
That's very sad that your family is all apart and not in touch much. I think you should take the initiative to talk to your mother and let her know you want to see your grandmother. I believe you should make the first step and go and see your grandmother and see what happens. See if doing that will help her and will help bring you and her closer together and maybe even your mother and her closer together as well. It hurts when you love everyone and you have to be the peacemaker between everyone. I used to be in those kind of spots all the time. It is no fun, but being able to try and be the peacemaker and hoping for the best is better than not doing nothing at all. I am sure she didn't mean to hurt you by not showing up to these important events you wanted and needed her at, but maybe you going to see her will help her open up and you guys can clear the air.
Now if you do go and nothing changes then know it is not your fault and sometimes families just drift apart. You can still love her and care for her while still not being close with her. Maybe in the end if it doesn't work out just send her cards like she does with you.
But I am sure everything will work out. Try going to see her and go from there. Please let me know how everything goes.
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Hi 18 F.. My mom tends to get jealous of my relationships. I have been dating a guy for about a month now. He is 9 years older than me and she was fine with it. She told me recently that she doesn't know what it is but he is a bad person and now she won't let me see him. I feel I'm old enough to make my own dicisions. I'm to afraid to talk to he because she is really aggressive. Please help me?
Trust me when I say a mother knows.
I had friends who would use me or just weren't good for me and i couldn't see it back then, but my mom could. She helped me alot when I was 18 and even younger.
You are 18 so you are an adult and can see him she can't stop you, but you also have to realize that she is a mother protecting her child. And also if you are living in HER house you also can't just go out and do whatever you want because since you are old enough she can kick you out as well.
I think you should talk to your mother and ask her why she feels how she feels. Maybe she will tell you some insight into something she saw or some bad feeling she is having. It could be that she does get a feeling about him but doesn't know what it is or how to tell you. Also try inviting him to dinner so you all can sit down and get to know eachother. Maybe go out for dinner or lunch if she doesn't want him around. Just try and see why your mother is feeling this way.
It can also be because you are 18 and will soon be leaving and moving out and she can be progressing that onto anything. But I say just talk to her and try to get them to do something where you guys are all together so you can both get to know him. You only been with him for a month so you both can try and get to know more about him.
Hope this helps. Keep me posted
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I don't think my parents love me rather my mom I'm always getting bashed for doing something "wrong" for example I'm on the computer when she says I cant be playing computer games but what I'm doing is I'm reading an article online I GET BASHED FOR NOTHING!!! and it really gets on my nerves what do I do?
Your mother LOVES you. Honestly she is probably frustrated. Trust me I am 22 and i watch my mother have her "NOT TALKING TO ANYONE" moment once a month. Just because.... noone knows why. She sometimes is just tired. Mothers do alot. Talk to her about it. I feel communication is key too. Let her know that it hurts when she yells at you for something that she misinterprets. Try having an open policy with your mom. I did when I was in middle school and it helped me alot. See if she is okay. See if there are things you can help with around the house so she is not stressed out so much.
LMK how things go. I hope your relationship gets better
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My daughter is a Junior in HS and she is dating a freshman. I really don't have a problem with it but most of her friends are freshman also and my husband does not like it at all! My husband thinks she should be hanging out with other teenagers her age with the same goals (looking at colleges, soccer, etc). I'm not so sure. I tend to think hubby is more concerned with the way it looks. I figure if she is happy and they are good kids then it's okay.
She says the kids her age are not nice. She tends to hang out with others where she can be the leader of the pack. I think she feels more confidence with the younger crowd.
My husband wants her to cut it off with this boy. She wants to go to prom with him. I'm thinking it's okay. What do you think?
I don't find a problem with her dating a freshman. Her hanging with younger kids is not to big of a problem, but you both have good points. Your husband just don't want her falling back and trying to stay behind to hang with her younger friends. He wants her to be able to look at the future so when she gets in college she won't be an outcast and she won't be talking to high schoolers but children her age. But you have a good point too. It's not too bad. It's not a bad thing to date someone younger. We did that in hs (my friends and I). Maybe just give her time. It seems like your daughter has a shy voice. That she likes giving her opinion and she wants people to listen to her. And that is probably why she talks to the younger children. They look up to her. Maybe you should sit her down and help her gain a voice. Therefore you and your husband will be okay with who she hangs with. Maybe ask her why she's so attracted to the younger kids. Most likeyly it's because they look up to her so try and tell her to involve herself in activities at the school that usually helps children get involved and give their voice out. Also with small things around the house let her voice her opinion so she can feel more comfortable with voicing her opinion and standing up towards people.
Hope this helped :) ♥
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Im a preteen so I understand this might b a little weird for my age.Well I hav this cousin and shes like in her 20's . Well any ways shes my favorite cousin and we used to spend a lot of time together. But now that shes starting a family I cant spend any time with her and plus she lives in a different city than I do now. She haves a new born and i dont want to tell her that i feel like we dont spend any time together anymore. I just dont know what to do. And I hav no cousins my age to tlk to or to b my favorite cousin. I need some help plz and thank u
I have a cousin that i spent time with day and night since i was like 5 years old he used to live in brooklyn and i used to get ride down there every day after school. We didnt talk in like 3 years then 4 & 1/2 years ago he came to my bbq and we met up again. He lives 2 towns away now which is closer. At times i feel like i have my cousin but other times it feels like im losing him all over again. Basically i know the feeling. He's 20 also & im 17. There busy and transitioning new phases and positions in their lives. Yours has a new baby and mine is doing the same college im about to go to but also doing his films and movies and struggling with friends and his gf. He gets so much talk from them that i don't bother to tell him how i feel. But when we talked we promised to tell each other how we feel automatically. & I keep it in for the day but i tell him at the end of the day and i feel good about it because it works out just fine. We both understand eachother's point of view.
Basically what im trying to tell you is to talk to your cousin and tell her how you feel. And try to understand that she did just have a new born it's going to be hard for her to hang with anyone for a while. (It's a new born) Honestly if you miss her do what i do when i miss my cousin when he's babysitting his 1 year old niece i go over there & help him and hang w him one time. Go over there and help her out. Maybe she's going through a rough time also. Go to her house and let her get some rest and you help take care of the baby for an hr or two. Put yourself in her shoes and you'll understand the difficulties she's going through. Don't be mad at her just understand her and forgive her. Go over by her help her out. Have someone give you a ride by her or tell her to come by you have her nap for an hr or two while you take care of the baby and when the baby is resting you guys can talk and catch up. Just don't blame her or be upset with her. She's doing her best
Hope i helped :) Goodluck
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My question is like this. Well, ok my mom is really strict about a lot of things and it's just so unfair and she can be mean sometimes. I want to know how to get her to be more relaxed and let me do more things. I've tried everything. I'm out of options. Please help.
Usually moms are strict because they see how children act and don't like it or because of the neighborhood they live in or even just the friends they hang around. Sometimes it can just be because thats how they are, there afraid of losing there children. She's protecting you yes it can be suffocating but appreciate all the protect she's giving you and the help because once your on your own there's no more hovering. & Trust me you'll wish they were still hovering over you.
There's nothing you can do about that. Just be patient she'll start opening up with you once you start getting older and in high school and college. She loves you. We never understand a mother's fear or pain or hard ache until we become one.
:)
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I always feel unwell because my parents barely feed me
im shaki g rightnow so its hard to type on this scresn
they havent seemed to care forb3 years and im salways in pain because of it, dizzy, sick, faint
Since your still in their house it's their obligations to feed you. You seem young so maybe you can't cook but can you do sandwiches? Try to make a little something or eat cereal if you guys have any. You should report that to someone because that's not healthy or legal what they are doing. Tell your family or neighbor or someone because your pain and sickness can get worse.
Feel better & Good Luck :)
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