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Junior daughter dating freshman boy
My daughter is a Junior in HS and she is dating a freshman. I really don't have a problem with it but most of her friends are freshman also and my husband does not like it at all! My husband thinks she should be hanging out with other teenagers her age with the same goals (looking at colleges, soccer, etc). I'm not so sure. I tend to think hubby is more concerned with the way it looks. I figure if she is happy and they are good kids then it's okay.
She says the kids her age are not nice. She tends to hang out with others where she can be the leader of the pack. I think she feels more confidence with the younger crowd.
My husband wants her to cut it off with this boy. She wants to go to prom with him. I'm thinking it's okay. What do you think?
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There's nothing wrong with having younger friends. I was actually the exact opposite in high school, and all my friends were older, until I got to about Junior year and all my friends ended up younger. Now they're all older again (I'm 25 and they're all 30-40 something).
There's a lot to be said about maturity, and people in high school are all maturing at different paces. It's more fun to be the leader of the younger classmen anyway. They'll do anything for you just because you're a couple years older. It's like having an empire!
Your hubby sounds like he's concerned about the appearance, which isn't uncommon. It does sound weird on the surface, but if she were the freshman hanging out with Juniors, I'm sure he wouldn't mind. You should sit him down and explain to him that you don't want to dictate your daughter's life... because that causes rebellion... and if she comes home pierced, tattooed, high, and pregnant because you made her give up something that made her happy, it's on him.
Chances are that she wouldn't do any of that, but she WOULD think of something.
She's got two years left, and then she'll be a freshman in college all over again, and that is WAY scarier than high school ever was. It's better that she gain some social confidence now while she can, or college is going to eat her alive.
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Sounds like your husband is being a typical dad
Your daughter being a junior in High School I am assuming that she would be around 16-17 years old while the boyfriend may be 15-16. Honestly, I really don't see a big deal here and I think your husband is over thinking it.
I am in my late 20's and most of my friends are from 22-25 years while I am a few years older. I would be more concerned if your daughter was 17 dating someone who was 13-14 years old. If they are a year or two apart then I wouldn't sweat it. I know this is also hard to hear as a parent but if your daughter is sexually active with her boyfriend then again, I wouldn't sweat it either. I would make sure she is on birth control just to be on the safe side though. Many states the legal age to consent is 16 which again she is fine.
Let the girl go to the prom, Wish her good luck and be happy for her.
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I don't find a problem with her dating a freshman. Her hanging with younger kids is not to big of a problem, but you both have good points. Your husband just don't want her falling back and trying to stay behind to hang with her younger friends. He wants her to be able to look at the future so when she gets in college she won't be an outcast and she won't be talking to high schoolers but children her age. But you have a good point too. It's not too bad. It's not a bad thing to date someone younger. We did that in hs (my friends and I). Maybe just give her time. It seems like your daughter has a shy voice. That she likes giving her opinion and she wants people to listen to her. And that is probably why she talks to the younger children. They look up to her. Maybe you should sit her down and help her gain a voice. Therefore you and your husband will be okay with who she hangs with. Maybe ask her why she's so attracted to the younger kids. Most likeyly it's because they look up to her so try and tell her to involve herself in activities at the school that usually helps children get involved and give their voice out. Also with small things around the house let her voice her opinion so she can feel more comfortable with voicing her opinion and standing up towards people.
Hope this helped :) ♥
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