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How do I love myself? (link)
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Loving yourself is the same as loving anyone else.
You have to know yourself, really well, and then you have to take all the things that you don't like about yourself and ignore them.
Yeah, people are flawed, but when you love someone you tend to overlook those flaws, or love them FOR those flaws, and it's the same with yourself.
Loving yourself is really hard, because you are the person that will criticize you the most. You're the one that can look at a flaw and see nothing good about it, so you have to try to look at it like someone else would.
I also recommend seeing a professional. Loving yourself is hard, and it takes time, and a little help never hurt anyone. I'm not saying get on anti-depressants, or that you need medication. There are plenty of psychologists in the world, and they don't prescribe drugs. They just talk to you, they listen to you, they'll reassure you that your thoughts and feelings are valid. They can help you get to a place where you like yourself.
Think of it as couples counseling for you and your soul.
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I'm 14 and I've been cutting for a few years. I really want to stop but I keep failing. Does anyone have some good advice? (link)
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I'm obligated to tell you to seek medical help. There's a lot of reasons people cut, and you'd be quite surprised at the variety of those reasons, so isolating the reason you cut and getting help with that emotion or scenario is really important.
In the interim, as an ex cutter myself, I have some things you can try.
If you're doing it because you connect to the pain of it, try rubber bands, or even better are those hair ties that have the little metal piece on them. You snap them and it stings like hell. It's not the same, of course, but you get used to it. Also, you can hold ice until your fingers burn... that's a good one...
If you're a picker, meaning you pick at scabs, put Elmer's glue on your skin in layers... let it dry, then another layer... putting it over red marker helps with the look of a scab. Then you can pick it off at your leisure as an anxiety reliever.
If you're doing it to see blood, draw on yourself. Draw all over yourself with red marker. It's not the same, but none of these things are, really. You have to be willing to compromise a little to make it work.
The big thing is that you're going to have to identify and DEAL WITH your triggers... which isn't easy, but it's necessary.
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I have nightmares almost every night. And even if I don't have nightmares, I constantly remember my dreams. And it's stressing me out. I know that every person dreams but most people don't remember them. I do. It's like they're happening to me in real life, so I always feel tired after waking up. For example if I dream about taking a long walk, I'll literally feel like I took a long walk when I wake up.
Is there anything I can do about this? I also want to get rid of these constant nightmares :( They're either about people that are really important to me not liking me anymore or about monsters trying to kill me. I know it sounds pretty odd. Help? :( (link)
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Nightmares are a symptom of underlying fears and problems. I\'m not saying you\'re crazy... I\'m saying that statistically depressed and stressed people are more prone to remember dreams, in general. (You can look that up. It\'s true.)
So the really real answer is that you should see a shrink. A Psychologist, not a psychiatrist. The difference being that you probably don\'t want drugs.
You do some talking, work out what\'s bothering you, and the nightmares and dreams will stop.
Conversely, if you see a psychiatrist you CAN potentially get pills to suppress the dreams. You have to be careful with that, though. I took some pills from my psychiatrist once that actually CAUSED really horrible night terrors... but the sleeping pills he gave me (Temazapam, if you wanna name drop to a doctor) don\'t let me dream much, because they\'re benzos.
Either course... it just sounds like something is bothering you, and the sooner you work out what it is that\'s causing your feelings of unease, the sooner you\'ll be able to get a good night\'s sleep.
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I got really angry because i dropped something and it got ruined. I do believe I overreacted, but I just got so angry that I slapped myself in the face. I felt as if someone needed to, so why not be me? I feel like I'm crazy or something because I did it... Am I? (link)
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More people are prone to that than you'd think. Lol. It's not uncommon, or even that weird to smack yourself once in a while. I do it. My mom does it. I've seen most of my friends do it. It's not weird or crazy.
The problem becomes when that once in a while turns into habit. If this is the first time you've done it, don't think about it... but if you notice this becoming a recurring pattern in your life, or you manage to actually harm yourself doing it, you should speak to your doctor about seeing someone. It still doesn't make you crazy, it just makes you someone that needs to figure out why you smack yourself. Lol.
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18/f Now this may seem weird to most people but I don't like sunny weather at all. The thing is that whenever the sun is out I get really depressed and sad. At the beginning of spring I sometimes start crying for no reason, because I feel so uncomfortable. Then after a while I get used to the sun but I still don't like it.
I suppose I'm not the only one who dislikes sunny weather but why do I get so extremely depressed?
I just can't stand feeling so sad :( The sun is shining again today and I'm sitting here nearly crying .. what is wrong with me? And please don't make fun of me ._. (link)
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It's not uncommon for people to respond to the weather. The most well-known is the sadness people get during the rainy seasons, but it's not the only reaction.
I'm not terribly fond of sun, either. I enjoy rain, and overcast... but I live in a state with 300 days of sun. It's a thing.
Usually these reactions are caused from pre-existing conditions... depression, bipolar disorder, etc... but a lot of the time they're just chemical imbalances in the body. A reaction to sunlight would indicate a problem with vitamin D.
You could go see a doctor to see if you're D deficient... or you could just start taking a multi-vitamin. I recommend the vitamin, personally. Doctors always find something wrong with you...
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recently i got paranoid of losing my most interesting personality that i always had so how can i regain it any suggestions that might just help (link)
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The first thing you should know is that people change, and as a person you will change, too.
I feel like I'm a pretty interesting person, with a big personality. I always kind of have been, but once or twice I've lost sight of who I was. I got into this habit of picking things other people did up, because I wanted to fit with them, and more than once I couldn't tell you what made me... me.
One day, I sat down and just wrote down everything I loved about my big personality, what really made me myself. Then I hung that list on my bathroom mirror to look at everyday. I made sure to exemplify everything on that list everyday, including things I forgot I did... like my love of cussing. I really love the f-word... and I'd stopped saying it because someone told me that it was un-lady-like.
You are who you are, and no one can take that away from you, except you. Sometimes we all just need to be reminded of that.
So make yourself a list of everything that makes you the person you are... and just try to be that person the best you can. Everything else will fall in line and your paranoia will fade.
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19/F
First of all thank you for whom is reading this. I go to school part time and just got a new job. I'm trying to figure out myself and just deleted my Facebook because I feel as if it is a distraction. I feel empty, and it's normally when I'm not talking to a guy. I don't know why I feel this way. My last two boyfriends started as one night stands. One lasted a year, the other one two years. I can't seem to take a relationship slow either. Is it just my hormones? I feel like it's wrong to have sex with multiple people but lately I've been wanting to. Most of my friends are guys as well. I use to have an alcoholic problem but I've been a lot better. I just don't understand why I'm so addicted to guys. (link)
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You're addicted to guys because you're 19.
And that's okay. It happens to the best of us.
Happened to me.
I'm going to tell you something a lot of people won't... it's okay if you wanna sleep with more than one person at a time. For real. Just be sure they know you're not exclusively with them. If you want to be single and have lovers instead of a single steady boyfriend, you rock that idea.
I'm not good at slow relationships, either. It's just never been something I've been able to master... and you know what? That's okay. Life goes on, people grow and as you get older you meet more people just like you. You're not alone.
So go out, be yourself and just do something that makes you happy. It's not wrong to act on how you feel. And this, too, shall pass, I assure you. ^_^
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I have just been feeling depressed for a while now. I have no friends,just only the co-workers I work with. I really don't talk to my family like that anymore. I just go thru the same routine everyday. I feel like no one is there for me. I have struggle to keep myself together for the last past three years. I graduated High School about 3 years ago. I lost all my best friends. Arguements,lies happen after high school. So, No more friends. I don't want to go to school or work. No one ever texts or calls me unless it's family members wanting someone or asking something. I just don't know what to do. I never make plans because i'm always alone. I never been on a date. I'm have been single my whole life. I'm only 21 years old. I'm gay. I gotten sick with the shingles about 6 months ago. Because of stress and it was really bad. Cause of work,ex-friends,lonely,didn't feel like i belong,hiding about beening gay(which i am still). I need someone to talk to. I hate this feeling. I sit at home or ride around before i go home everyday or go to the park and just think and cry all the time. I dreamed about me dying in a car accident all the time and wondering what would my family do with out me. I just don't know who i am anymore. I need answers and help.It's not the world's business to know what i'm going thru and to know that i'm gay. Not,my families either because i will get disown.:/ My family is so christian. Now, It hurts. Having to lie to them about everything and can't be my own self. Advice please?
(link)
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While a clinical evaluation of your mental state is impossible via internet, depression is a common diagnosis with relatively simple treatment.
I do think that you should see a professional, but having been under the care of shrinks for many years, myself, I can understand any reservations you may have about such things. There are things you can try first, on your own, if you're not ready to submit yourself to a shrink.
First of all, you should get active. Now, I am the last person that advocates exercise very often. I would much rather eat a whole cake and watch the Discovery Channel than go on a run, but whenever I get low, exercise does help. The endorphins you get from being active lift your mood, and when you lift your mood, even a little, life looks better. You need to crawl out of the depression before you can really take affirmative action.
I know it's hard when all your high school friends disappear. Happened to me. You have to just go make new ones... which sucks and can be really hard if you haven't made friends in a while, but it's really very easy once you get the hang of it. You just go do something you enjoy (which can be hard to think of, I know, but start small and just go be around people). If you're out amongst people that like things you like, you just have to start a conversation with someone. It won't be magic. You probably won't make life-long friends every time you talk to someone, but it's a start. You talk, you exchange numbers and you call them later. You have to do the work.
As for your family... I don't talk to my family either, and that's not really totally uncommon. Fmailies have problems, and just because you're related to people doesn't mean they'll understand you, and it doesn't mean you'll like them... it just means you share some DNA. If your family is going treat you like a black sheep... then you just have to file that away and try to not let it get to you. My family sucks and they don't like me for a lot of various reasons. I stopped caring. Sure, I still get upset about it. Whenever my dad calls me (birthday, thanksgiving and christmas) I get really upset and wonder why he's such a bad father and why he doesn't care except on mandated holidays... but then I get out that anger and frustration at my situation and life goes on.
You have a long way to go. I'm 24 now. When I was 21 I had a lot of sh*t going on that I didn't think I could deal with, too. I was horrifically depressed, along with being on medication for a mood disorder that kept backfiring, my family was growing farther apart all the time (or dying... lots of them just up and died on me), I had no friends and no way of knowing how to get some...
But things get better. You just have to help it a little bit. You have to try. You also have to accept things you can't change and learn to celebrate things you can change instead. It's crappy but it's just how life is. You either roll with the waves or you drown.
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I took a test at a phiciatrists' office, and it said I was insane. Actually insane. They said I should get "help" but I won't. Do I really need help? NO! I'm insane, mabye even crazy, but I will NOT get "help." Any @ home things I can do? (link)
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Without knowing the nature of the insanity you are supposedly suffering from, I can't tell you things to do.
I think it's important to realize that tests taken by yourself cannot accurately reflect true results. I, for instance, have taken tests indicating that I am Schizophrenic and Borderline Personality, but my psychiatrist has ruled that I'm simply Bipolar. The point is, you might not be crazed at all. That's the beauty of human error.
So... things you can do at home? Do some actual research... and really getting help isn't so terrible, if it turns out that you're batty. It's not the trauma you think.
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ok well i had sex like a week ago and now im all itchy but i dont have herpys or nothing and i have discharge wht could it be and how do i get rid of it help (link)
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Well if you didn't have herpes before, you might have it now. Or, you could have genital warts... they can hide, in case you're looking at your bits thinking "I don't see herpes or warts or anything" but they can, in fact be either inside the vagina or the urethra of the penis (since you're sexually ambiguous).
It could also just be a yeast infection, that may or may not have been brought on by engaging in sexual activity with someone that hadn't bathed in the past few days as well...
So... go to a doctor, is probably going to be the best bet here.
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So the title pretty much says it all. I feel like the earth is moving but I'm stuck standing still. How can I make life fun again. By the way I'm 15 so it's weird that I'm having this like midlife crisis. Please help I have no idea what to do! (link)
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Well, when I was 15, I was out on the streets trying to get arrested... not intentionally, but that was usually the underlying consequence of whatever I was doing. It was a lot of fun, but it's terribly stupid.
So... 15 and bored with life... It sounds like depression to me. At 15 the world is supposed to be moving with such velocity that boredom is always, always, overshadowed by drama and high school preoccupations (like sports or drug use, or something akin to those).
The fact you're experiencing boredom tells me that you're not living your high school years to their potential. You're supposed to be being an idiot and having fun. I'm not saying go become a heroin addict (because I'll tell you that it's not terribly exciting either) but go out with friends any chance you can. If you have no where to go, hit a park and just run around. You'll figure out something to do.
Learn to skateboard or go out for the actors guild or something. Figure out what you love and obsess about it. You're at the age for it.
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This may be a bit long; brace yourself.
I've read stories of people getting tired of their life and just up and going to a new place. Completely starting over.
As much as change scares me because of its uncertainty, I'd love to just leave and start my life over.
I'm 18 female, just started college in August about an hour away from where I was living before. I went through about a year of "depression" because my mom and I stopped living together and she tried controlling my life when she couldn't even support me. Since then I've been better, but still a bit mentally unstable. I don't know how to deal with my feelings. I'm in counselling and it helps, but there are still days when I'm not completely happy with my life.
I'm blessed to have what I do in my life, I recognize that, but I still feel like I'm settling for less than I should. Not necessarily what I deserve, but what I'm capable of. Is it reasonable to move away and restart my life since it's my life to live anyway? Any words of advice? (link)
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I think about leaving home everyday. I have these amazing dreams of just loading up my car and driving until I run out of money and gasoline...
I, however, am suffering from mania when I think that. You are not.
The thing about moving away is that, yes, it's hard and it sucks for a little while, but some people are meant to go out and see the world that way. I've taken sabbaticals out of state... and out of country. Spend some time in Spain, Costa Rica, the Bahamas and some other states. I'm prone to driving as far as a tank will get me, which is about half way into the nearest state... Yes, I will have to leave sometime.
It sounds to me like you should leave, start over. There's nothing wrong with it, and you're an adult now, happy to do whatever you please. If you want to pack up everything you own and go to the other side of the country and start over, then do it. There is no such thing as over your head, in my book. There is only a very hard lesson (in the event things go wrong).
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I've had an eating disorder for two years. everyone tells me I need to get help but I really don't want to. Please don't tell me I need to eat or I need to stop throwing up because I get that all the time. Is there any way I can get help for this WITHOUT going into a treatment center? I already have a therapist, but I don't think she takes me very seriously. I don't think she understands eating disorders at all. What should I do? (link)
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If you don't want to get help, then don't. In the end, it's your body and you can destroy it in whatever manner you seen best fit.
Basically, in my experience with people who need help, myself included, no one can help you till you want help. If you don't want help, then no treatment center in the counry can help you. They'd just ask you to leave.
So, yeah. If you don't want help don't get it. Simple as that.
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I am so disappointed with the way my life is turning out. I'm on lots of medications and am in therapy, but at this point I'm pretty sure it's all stopped working. I'm not connected at all to my family. Nobody would miss me if I was gone. Please don't try to tell me my life has meaning because literally EVERYTHING I do goes wrong. Should I travel? Should I get away from my life just for right now and come back to face it with a level head? Because it seems harder and harder to stop myself from swallowing all my pills at once and never waking up. It's starting to be too much to handle and I hate being in this much pain...about myself. (link)
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I'm bipolar. I've attempted suicide 3 times in 21 years of life, along with 4 overdoses (on various drugs) and in general I've been waging war on myself because I felt completely crazy since about 9th grade (age 14, if you're counting). I've been on different meds for it... recently took myself off my meds, claiming that it was giving me tremors that it wasn't really. I just don't like taking the damn pills. I have 2 shrinks, both of which say that one of my moods could potentially get me killed. Depression holds suicide and mania holds every other possibility from being murdered to thinking I can fly and jumping off a building or something.
The point is, I get what you're feeling. I feel it a lot. I have lots of ways I cope with it... most pretty unhealthy, but I won't recommend those. I don't know how old you are... but I do know that running away, this travelling concept, isn't the bad idea someone else would have you think it is. I ran off to Spain once, Costa Rica another time, simply because I wanted to be someone else for a while. So long as you have your head while travelling... well it can be the best thing for a "reset" to what ails you.
I haven't found much meaning in life, except every now and then I ind some glimmer of something awesome to focus on. Life is dirty and disorganized, but if you can focus on the bright spots, it helps...
If you want to travel, do. If you want to off yourself... well it's not the best idea and causes more people than you think pain. You never know how much you mean to people until they think you're leaving... I've done this 3 times, I know. If you're really so hopeless that you can't find one little, insignificant reason to stick around and take up space... well... I have no comment and wash my hands of it (Pontious Pilot, how you've given us a way to say we can't stop you but disapporve)...
Anyway... Yes.
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I'm 24 and female and I lost my virginity to a guy that I fancy the pants off! It wasn't at all what i expected and I was drunk and so was he and it was just...well, not that great.
I saw him last night and had to speak to him beacuse I just don't know how to feel about the whole thing and his words went a little something like this: "Well I had fun it was a laugh" and I was like "pardon and what now?"...He actually doesn't give a shit about me and I can't believe I waited that long to lose my virginity and it ended up being with an absolute CUNT! I've cried constantly for the whole entire day and I can't eat cos I feel sick. How long does it take to get over this? I hate him. He's ruined everything :(
Thanks
xxx (link)
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Drunk sex is never that great...
And to be completely honest a lot of sex you'll have in your life won't be that spectacular either. I've been having sex for... -quick math- about six years now and I can name 3 partners (out of a number above 30) that I actually, genuinely enjoyed myself with.
Anyway, getting you over your virginity loss... that's a hard one. I had other things to get over when I lost my virginity, but I know how ridiculously bad it feels to be you right about now. My advice to someone 4 years my elder is to call up your friends... ANY friends... girl friends, guy friends, gay friends, and go out on the town. I'm not saying get trashed (because that's really how we got here) but I'm saying go out and have a good time and forget that creep. I'm sure he's been having sex since he 12 or some bullsh!t story like that that he tells to his buddies.
Mourn your virginity not this creep. Not all sex will be this upsetting... in fact it can a hell of a lot of fun, but the first time is always crappy, and the first guy is always a jerk. That's just how it goes...
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I feel like there is nothign I can do to be happy. I've cried 3 out of the past 6 days, and cannot get happy again. The reason I never got help is becasue I'd have 3 bad days, and then have one good day and thinkn that I am fine. I have a loss in appitite, headaches, I feel like I'm just going through the motions every day, I want to be alone a lot, and I feel like I'm pushing some people away. Help!! (link)
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It sounds like you might have a depressive personality. It's not uncommon. If you want to, your physician could get you a depression scale and see if you're suited to a mild antidepressant, which should lift the fog more than one day at a time. Of course, there will always be sad days.
There are other options, if you feel that the medication route is not for you. If you are a religious person, then meditation in your religion can often help. I know I feel better after a long conversation with the Goddess, but similar things are thought of in Christian, Buddhist and all other religions. There are herbal remedies that could be beneficial, though I would have to consult my big book of herbal info to tell you what exactly those would be. If you go to your local herbal store (or pagan store) they can concoct something that can lift your mood intensely.
In general, it does not sound like this is a particularly difficult problem to solve, and I'm sure there are courses of action that I have missed along the way.
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Ok so this is probably a weird question. For about 4 years ive been cutting, not out of control or anything just a comfort thing for me. This isnt a question about how to stop or w/e so please dont tell me anything like that. Well when i first started and for about 2 years after, I felt really bad about it and felt like it was stupid and wrong and just all around bad. But lately i find myself seeing it as just a normal part of life, it doesnt phase me anymore. I have no real desire left in me to stop because i dont personally see it as a problem. what i want to know is: is the fact that i no longer see it as a problem, a problem itself? or since it just doesnt bother me, should it not matter? obviously im seeing things irrationally, but in anyone elses opinion, is this bad? (link)
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I used to cut, and just between you an me and the people that might read this I still do on occasion, like when my world completely falls apart about once every three months and I can't take it anymore. It's not healthy. I took psychology, I know that. I also know that it's just a part of my life as well, and so does my shrink. But I'm a bipolar, we do stupid stuff like this. Ha.
It's a problem for us both, you and I, that this doesn't phase us anymore because it shows that we've accepted an unacceptable behavior as normality. That's not good because it can lead to worse habits. (Told you I took psychology.)
So to answer your question, yes it's a problem. It's a very big problem.
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I have never acted this way before but suddenly i am...I am always angry and dont know why...I already have my period this month so that cant be it...My Mom ask me whats wrong and she thinks i am lying to her when i say nothing but i really dont know what is wrong someone please explain what is going on with me! (link)
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Oooh... irritable, unexplainable anger. I remember that.
Teen angst is a good cause. Thyroid problems can do it. You could just be naturally irritable.
If you don't think it's that, though do you have these symptoms too?
* Feel unusually great
He or she may feel in possession of special qualities or abilities, extra power, importance, knowledge or ability.
* Sleep a lot less
He or she may feel that “sleep is a waste of time,” feel rested after a few hours or just not feel tired at all.
* Talk too much
He or she may feel pressured to get out thoughts, to talk faster or more loudly than usual.
* Mix up their thoughts
He or she may have thoughts coming so fast that it’s hard to keep ideas straight.
* Be distracted easily
His or her attention may be drawn to little, unimportant things.
* Set new goals
He or she may launch into several new projects.
* Take risks and go to extremes
He or she may do things that could be considered “risky” or unwise. Examples include running up credit card debt, making gambling bets, and even having casual sex with strangers.
* Fidget more
He or she may be unable to sit still for very long or may pace.
* Feel sad
He or she may feel sad or just plain “empty” inside, be tearful or cry.
* Lose interest in things
He or she may stop doing things usually enjoyed and feel that those things just aren’t worth doing.
* Gain or lose weight
He or she may lose weight without trying or gain weight from eating more than usual.
* Have trouble sleeping
He or she may have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep.
* Sleep too much
He or she may sleep longer than usual and not want to get out of bed in the morning.
* Appear restless or do things more slowly
He or she may appear restless or move slower than usual in doing everyday tasks.
* Feel tired
He or she may just not have the energy to go about everyday tasks.
* Feel worthlessness or guilt
He or she may feel undeserving of anything good or feel responsible for having done something terrible.
* Have trouble thinking
He or she may have problems concentrating and/or making decisions.
* Think about death
He or she may think that life is not worth living or make a plan to take his or her own life.
You could be a bipolar, like me. But that's an extreme thing. I just know that my mother would always ask me what the hell was wrong with me, and I never had an answer for her, not once, so it tripped that in my head.
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okay for a while now my moms mental health had been droppin drastically...dillusions and constant mood swings and tons of other sypmtoms that go with bi-polar disorder. today she went in and explained to the doctor what was happening to her...after we all told her we thought she was bi polar she wanted to go see for herself. Well as we all thought she is bi polar and she has been put on medication...but we as a family really don't know how to deal with this. She will be on medication to help her but things seem different now that we truly now what is wrong. What can we as a family do to help support her in the drastic change in our lives? (link)
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I'm bipolar, pretty severe type 2 bipolar as a matter of fact. I've been on meds for over a year... what I can tell you is that it's going to be harder for her than you could ever understand. She's older than I, that I assume, so it'll probably be even harder for her than it's been for me.
I've switch meds three times and now they have me on three different meds at once. Each one makes things different but I was never sure if it was better. I'm still not stable, a year later, and things are up and down and that is what you have to be prepared for.
I know I've forgotten what NORMAL is... I'm only used to up and down and up and down and she probably is too. She might have trouble with the changes, not being able to get back to that maniac high happy really upset me when I started meds. It was my happy place.
You need to realize that bipolars live in a different world than you do and the normal range of emotions doesn't feel right. I pray your mother responds well to the medications they have her on, unlike me. I pray she doesn't have to change and experiment and get frustrated, but if she does all you can do to support her is bare with with her and support her. Be there for her when things get hard and be there to celebrate with her when things are good.
She might say things that are cruel without knowing it. This happened to me a lot when they first started me on meds. I didn't understand, and she might not either. Just realize that your mother needs you, now more than ever and that it'll be hard. I know that if people had known this for me, I would have been thankful... so very thankful.
I wish her the best of luck and pray she does better than I, with all of my heart.
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My fiance dumped me one year ago. We were together for 3.3 years. How long does it usually take to get over it. I have moved on somewhat it is a complicated story and there is not enough room here to say. I am currently dating someone else and have been in two other relationships since. I am expecting a child in dec from one of the relationships and would love to get back with the guy from the other relationship but overall I still have feelings for my ex fiance. (link)
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You were close to marriage, so I assume that means you and he were very close. It's going to take a while and there's no quick fix for it. You just have to wait for a while... try to live life and not worry about getting over him.
It's hard, and I know. I still love an ex and we haven't been together for... four and a half years now if I'm counting correctly. I'm madly in love with the guy I've been with for a year and a half but I still see the ex, we're friends. I still love him, it's still hard.
It's hard, and it'll be hard for a long time, no doubt, but the thing you need to do is just try and live, not focus on it. That's what worked for me, anyway. My brother is different. He went three years before he got into another relationship whereas I jumped right into another one to try and forget. You just have to live and live the way YOU want... the healing will come on its own time so you can't be waiting for it or life passes you by.
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