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Is it better to stay or go?
This may be a bit long; brace yourself.
I've read stories of people getting tired of their life and just up and going to a new place. Completely starting over.
As much as change scares me because of its uncertainty, I'd love to just leave and start my life over.
I'm 18 female, just started college in August about an hour away from where I was living before. I went through about a year of "depression" because my mom and I stopped living together and she tried controlling my life when she couldn't even support me. Since then I've been better, but still a bit mentally unstable. I don't know how to deal with my feelings. I'm in counselling and it helps, but there are still days when I'm not completely happy with my life.
I'm blessed to have what I do in my life, I recognize that, but I still feel like I'm settling for less than I should. Not necessarily what I deserve, but what I'm capable of. Is it reasonable to move away and restart my life since it's my life to live anyway? Any words of advice?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I think about leaving home everyday. I have these amazing dreams of just loading up my car and driving until I run out of money and gasoline...
I, however, am suffering from mania when I think that. You are not.
The thing about moving away is that, yes, it's hard and it sucks for a little while, but some people are meant to go out and see the world that way. I've taken sabbaticals out of state... and out of country. Spend some time in Spain, Costa Rica, the Bahamas and some other states. I'm prone to driving as far as a tank will get me, which is about half way into the nearest state... Yes, I will have to leave sometime.
It sounds to me like you should leave, start over. There's nothing wrong with it, and you're an adult now, happy to do whatever you please. If you want to pack up everything you own and go to the other side of the country and start over, then do it. There is no such thing as over your head, in my book. There is only a very hard lesson (in the event things go wrong).
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Never run away from things.
Run to something.
Simply changing where you live isn't changing much... After a few weeks you'll realize you didn't change anything but the scenery.
Find something you want: An experience, a new job, even just a class, or a place to volunteer, and change your life AROUND that. Run towards something good. Take a chance on it and move towards it even if it's scary, even if it might not work out.
You wont be completely happy with your life very often. Regret and wonder is human and healthy. It's part of what informs our choices and motivates us. Complete happiness is rare. But if you want to change, make a change towards something that is informed by the desires and longings you feel. Don't just flee without direction. There is no restarting: Your choice is either to run away, or to renew your passion.
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I've been there...and I have to say that your life is where you make it. If you approach 'change' and embrace what you feel it is going to do for you, then I would say totally go for it.
We can never live in fear of change, as it happens to us either all of a sudden, or by the decisions we make for ourselves.
One thing to take seriously into consideration, is where you are now depresses you. Being depressed sucks, that I know for sure.
I did not move away when I wanted to. I chose to take what God has given me, which are all good things, and make the best of it here. Slowly but surely, things are lining up and looking better. Keep in mind, that I am 34 and have 4 children..2 of which do not live with me, so I needed to stay so I would not be far from them.
You are young!!! And what a great way to start off your life by going somewhere that will be great for you...You will miss your mother, believe it or not, but showing her that you are mature enough to get your life on track on your own and prove to her that you are going to be okay and succeed, it will work out for both of you!!
Good luck with this...keep me posted if you can!
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Running away from your problems is never the healthy way to start. I'm very sorry about your year of depression because your mom couldn't support you. I am sure she at least tried to, or she wouldn't have had you in the first place, right? I once read a creed saying "Don't bring your parents down, they brought you up".
See, if it wasn't for your mom, you wouldn't be living life now. Sure, it might not be the way you wanted to live, but its better than nothing. Mothers are controlling of every teenager. Trust me, I went through that. But, its only because they want you to end up in a right place. If our parents never pushed kids to go to school, where would all our teens be? The trick to life is to work your way up, not the other way around. My parents always told me to learn from my mistake.
How can you do that if you run away?
Great things happen to those who wait. Running away may seem good at first, but then you look back and ask yourself "Why?".
My advice is to stay and look at things in a more positive way. Understand the reasons why things are happening and don't try to change them. If you are going to move, move because you know its a good experience. Never move because you think its going to erase your problems.
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