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One of my favorite things to do is to listen to people and help them with their problems. =) It just feels so great when you know that you've helped someone that day. I've been through a lot within the past few years....so I can offer pretty good advice on most things. A lot of the time, i'm on here or kiwibox...lol I'm addicted to them both, so I will probably answer any questions almost immediatly. =)This column is meant for basically any problem you may have on Love, Relationships, problems with family members, school, work, etc. If you ask any questions on rape, suicide, or any other serious situatioins, all i'm going to do is advise that you seek professional help from counsler or doctor, and give you my personal viewpoint. Hope any advice I have given helps ya'll. =) Hope you like my advice column!!!!! *XoXo*
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Hey, I am really confussed about this, so I'm hopin' you can help. Ok I like this dude, and he don't live close to me, but I know him and he know's me. We've been talkin' for awhile now, and I'm startin' to like him. Me and him have had conversations about how we feel about long-distance relationships, and him and I feel the same way. We both agreed that we want someone there to hold each other, and see each other. We also agree that it ain't easy. But I just can't help my feelings for him. I really like him, and I don't know whether I should tell him or not. What should I do?
Girl, i've been in a long distance relationship for over a year now. Almost a year and a half. It's not easy, we have our ups and our downs, (and right now...we're kind of in a down) but you alway ride through it if you love each other enough. You have to be patient and your love has to be patient. If you feel like you have to tell him how you feel, then follow that. Maybe you two will give it a try, maybe not. It won't hurt if you do. Live life and try things. My boyfriend and I are halfway through all this junk we have to deal with when being apart...we've only got 11 months left like this and we've made it through the first part of the seperation. Relationships like mine can work out....so i'm pretty sure if you and the guy you like try, it has a pretty good chance of working out, and if it dosn't, then thank God for the time you got be called his. Just go with your feelings, and do what you think would be best...you don't want to regret not saying anything and never knowing. =) hope I helped any.
Hello! I have this really big problem and no one seems to be able to help me. I am 15-year-old female in the 10th grade and I've never had a boyfriend. I used to wait around for a guy to ask me out, and seeing as how that never worked, I took my friends advice and tried being more confident. I have asked these guys that I have had crushes on since middle school and not one of them is interested. People say that I'm cute and have a great personality, but if this is true, why isn't anyone interested? What can I do to get a boyfriend that I'm not doing, or what can I improve on?
Hrm, well what may be the answer to this problem is that, the guys you're asking view you more as a friend than a girlfriend. I'm very sure that you are a cute person with a fantastic personality =) but you really shouldn't push things like this. My friend for example, is in 11th grade (along with me), she really wishes that she could have a longterm boyfriend like I do. The Idea that I have is, that she's trying to hard. Love comes upon you (or a really cute boyfriend lol) when you least expect it. That's what happened to me.
If you just go with the flow of everyday life, having fun with your girls, shopping, hangin out iwth family or w/e....mr. right will come to you soon enough. But you can also go out and meet people. Go to a school dance, the mall, the movies...there's plenty of good cute guys hangin around...just make a move on one and see where that goes =) Oh and always always be confident....every guy wants a girl who can hold her head up high and not be ashamed or put herself down. =p The opportunity will come along eventually....just don't rush it =) Hope I helped any at all!!! You let me know by rating this advice. =)
saturday after the game i went to my friends house and her house was forked at like 10:30pm right so me and her had to stay up and watch out for the kids who did it and so her cuz came with us in her room and we were under the cover on the floor and i was by her cuz and we were holdin hands and all a sudden my hand was on his penis and all this crazy stuff wa happenin and she dont even kno about it but see thats the 2nd times ive cheated on my boyfriend with the same guy and i just dont kno what to do...what do i do? who do i tell if i do tell someone?? ..i still kinda like the guy i cheated with hes my EX..
Goodness Girl...My opinion about friends with benefits is WRONG. You never know if he could be doing things with another girl, thats how STDs get around and it's just plain disgusting to share a guy with a lot of other people. It sounds like you have no self control in a situation like that, and I'm not trying to be mean, i'm trying to be truthful so hopefully you can get yourself out of this mess.
Now, as for the part about who you should tell....I think your boyfriend is the person who deserves to know the most out of anybody else. It's not fair to keep him in the dark. Even if he does break up with you and dosn't give you another chance, wouldn't it feel better knowing that you don't have anything to hide from him anymore or hurt him? Maybe he'll stick around to give you a second chance...even if you did cheat twice with the same guy that is your Xboyfriend...because I really don't know him or how he'd react to it but I do know that anybody who found that out would be upset. And also, its better that he hear it from you and not from somebody else, because you're being truthful and straightfoward with him even though it means admitting you were wrong.
If you don't want to cheat on your boyfriend anymore, then maybe you should stay away from this guy you've been cheating with. If you still kind of like him, you need to take time away from both guys and decide who you want to be with more (if your boyfriend will still have you). You really don't want to get a bad reputation. =( I hope everything works out for the best deary....and I hope I helped any at all....
Okay during the summer i lost my virginity to this guy, well tonite i went over to his house and we are like best friends now but i miss him and i really want him.. it makes me sad to see him cuz he is always talking to girls and never talks to me about what happened should i tell him how i feel or not
Goodness girl...you really really really need to talk to him about what happened and how you feel...guys can be so insensitive about these kinds of things. I'm not going to say that I think you giving him your virginity was right or wrong (since i don't know how long you have been with him and whatnot), but maybe you should be more careful about who you have sex with. The only thing you can really do at this point is sit down, in private with this guy and tell him how you feel and talk about what happened between you two. Hope I helped! =)
im the person that wrote about me and my boyfriend takin a break well he finally called sunday and he did cheat on me. So we broke up sunday nite. Well i really didnt talk to him at all monday in school and Monday nite i wrote him a real long letter explaining to him how i felt and all that. I even told him that i loved him in the letter and just all that. Well he read it tuesday and we talked and then today we skipped skool and we hung out all day and he told me that he thought about my letter and that even yesterday he thought about me. Im just wondering tho am i really dumb to sit there and talk to him or am i just a girl who is madly in love wit a boy. Im really sorry that this is soo long but i just need sum advice
No I don't think you're dumb at all. You just love him a lot and that is completely understandable. I'm the kind of person who believes in second chances, so I guess that is part of my advice....maybe you should think about giving him a second chance. But, only if he admitted he was wrong, felt really bad about it, and still wants to be with you. I mean people make mistakes and they learn from them....i've given my boyfriend a second chance (only, he didn't cheat he lied about something and I hate lying lol). Since then he's straighted up a lot, matured a lot and i think developed some values.
But if he's not really feeling bad about it....then I wouldn't go for it. You'll just have to find someway to cope with the loss of your love. Watch sappy love movies, eat chocolate (not to much, just enough to comfort lol), go shopping with friends, hang out with family, workout, occupy yourself. Hopefully doing all that and crying...will get it all out of your system. It's part of the healing process. Even though it may take a while. Whatever you do though, just make sure you feel right doing it. I think either decision is fine and don't let anyone make you think you're doing the wrong thing. Just follow your heart on this one hun =) Hope I helped!
i have been with a girl for the last 18 months and she cheated on me and got with another guy, and on out year and a half anniversary she told him she loved him after knowing him for a week. can she love him? and he dumped her and said he doesnt like her anymore, and i know we cant get back together but sometimes she says i love you and is it wrong for me to say it back, i mean i resent her for cheating on me and breaking our trust and relationship but i love her, help please
Okay, no, I don't think she could love him in just a week....that probably was infatuation. She was in love with the thrill of cheating...the thrill of being caught. When she says it to you, I think that she does mean it, considering how long you two dated, but I can understand where it may feel wrong to say I love you back to her. But loving someone and telling them you do isn't wrong at all. Telling someone you love them after only a week and being in another realtionship IS wrong and she's in the wrong hun. Anybody could understand the resentment you feel towards her for cheating....I believe it's the most horrible thing you could ever do to a person.
But, you still can choose to forgive her. My boyfriend has done a couple things he shouldn't have (wasn't cheating, it was lying) but I still gave him a chance because I loved him....now this time around...he's actually done a lot better. He's grown up n matured a lot, and now I think, he has values. Your X girlfriend dosn't sound like she has any values, if she's going to cheat on the person she loves.
In my opinion, I think i'd give her one last chance to fix things...have her build trust back. Lay down the law and tell her what you expect out of the relationship, what you expect out of her, and what you expect her to do to earn your trust back. If she loves you enough, she'll work as long as it takes to build that trust between you two again. If you give her this chance and she blows it...then that time i'd say, she has to go. But do consider giving her a second chance =) People make mistakes and learn from them. I mean, if it was you who had messed up, wouldn't you like to recieve a second chance? I hope everything works out! =) Hope I helped!
I have a boyfriend and i love him with all my heart!( i love him but im not IN love with him cuz im only 13 u kno?) ofcourse he is like my best friend cuz he is my boyfriend, but my other best friend is a guy to. Sometimes i start crying at school for reasons i cant really say here but... he'll give me a hug and tell me its okay.. i dont really mind cuz i know he just likes me as a friend, and he just wants to help.. I would go to my boyfriend, but he cant know why i cry cuz he'll be really worried, and my best friend understands.. MY boyfriend gets jelous of my best friend though cuz he like that i will dumped him for my best friend.. how can i get it through his head that he is my best friend.. and thats wat bf's do?
Aw, well, to tell you the truth if my boyfriend had a friend like that (that was a chick), I would so be jealous too....I'm just a jealous person...and I can't help that. I get worried when my boyfriend hangs out with a lot of other girls (particularly for reasons that I cannot say either lol that have happened in the past). But anyways, maybe you should tell your boyfriend if you've been with him long enough and trust him. If you told him later, I think he'd be kinda hurt that you couldn't come and talk to him but you could another guy (even though he is your bestfriend) and I don't think he'll understand that reasoning. I think he feels sort of helpless.....maybe he knows somethings up, he dosn't know what it is, so he can't do anything to make you feel better about it. It's your choice who you confide in, but in my opinion, maybe you're not being fair to your boyfriend. He cares about you =) Hope I helped!
Me and this guy I’m dating are doing really good. The only problem is… is that it’s a long distance relationship. I love him so much, I get so see him from time to time and I talk to him on the phone and computer almost all the time. When I’m with him, it’s like I never want to leave him, and if I could I wouldn’t leave him. Every time I come back home and see people at my school walking around with they’re boyfriends and girlfriends and they look happy and I always feel like crap. I don’t know what I should do. I’ve thought a few times about running away to go stay somewhere that’s close to him but I would probably get my butt kicked. I guess all I want to know is what I should do about all of this… should I leave him and find someone closer to me, or what, I’m just so confused. Please help if you can.
OHHHHHH LORDY Girl! I can totally relate to how you feel...lucky you lol I have been in a long distance relationship for over a year...and in a relationship for over two...(I met my guy before I moved like 2 years before, and started datin him a year before I moved). There have been many a times before, when I felt just as you do. My boyfriend and I would like to get married...and I'm supposed to be going back in less than a year to finish my last year of high school there with him. We feel like the distance and time away is the ultimate test, to see if we really love each other that much to pass it. We're almost through it too =). Yes everytime we see each other, it is so painful to let go again, but we anticipate the next time even more. I have thought about running away, but I know I can't...It will all soon pass. You'll have rough spots and smooth spots...and it forms a better emotional connection between the two people.
All I can tell you is, from personal experience, if you feel that this relationship is worth the wait, and you don't wanna be broken up, then be with him. Think of this as the ultimate test and God's testing you to see if you love each other that much to pass it. If you feel like you need more than that, like a guy who is closer to you, then talk to your boyfriend, don't cheat on him, and don't lead him on...it only makes it worse. You'll feel much better after you talk to him about the way you feel, because maybe you guys can do something to fix that feeling. Communication is the key to any relationship, especially long distance ones because they are more fragile. After you talk to him and if you break up, you may feel crappy at first but time heals all wounds. Just follow your heart hun. =) If you love each other, then you guys can do this.
Hope I helped any at all! =) And best wishes to you and your boyfriend.
Ok, me (I'm 15) and this guy (he's 18) were really good friends. More like best friends. Then my best friend (she's 15) started to like him. The guy asked me if I liked him and I denied it b/c the fear of rejection. Well my 2 best friends started dating, and I then began to realize how much I cared for him. He would call me all the time b/c he felt more confortable talking to me. My feelings for him continued to grow.. I then began to love him. He's not the type of guy who cares what you look like, he only cares about who you are. My best g/f keeps making me feel like crap about him, don't want me talking and hanging out w/ him. I've waned to tell him how I feel so many times. I've even tried giving up on him. Easier said than done. The only thing stopping me is that they are both my best friends and I want them to be happy. I just can't help thinking that things could've been alot different for me if I just told him how I felt in the beginning. What should I do~ should I risk everything and tell him or what? Sorry so long
Well, you probably have learned a valuable lesson from this. If you never speak up about something you care about, later on you're going to think, what if? That could be me now. You should probably come clean, I mean, your best friend just told you that she dosn't want you talk to him and hanging out with him! That's kind of mean....She should trust you more than that. If you feel like you have something with this guy, and she's making you feel like crap, I say go for it. Best friends don't make each other feel like crap...they're not supposed to.
Her friendship with you dosn't sound geniuine. Personally, if I were in the postion, that's what I would do, is go after what I want especially if my friend treated me that way. He could like you more than her anyways. But you do what you feel is right. You don't want to lose your friend, then keep your feelings to yourself, but if you feel like the best thing for you is to tell this guy how you feel, then go for it hun. Just follow your heart. Hope I helped any! =)
i liek this guy a lot...and hes in like i dont think u shud call it "relationship" cuz him n this girl arnt going out but there going to homecoming together....wellll shes kinda my friend like were not the best but were good friends ya know? n e way shes kinda *slutty* like she let him finger her and told him she wud give him head on homecoming but he tells me n my friend how much he likes me and how bad he wants to get rid of the other girl and hes leaving me here hanging and idk wat to do...shud i wait for him cuz i really like him...or move on? HLEP PLZ! SORRY ITS LONG!
Uh yuck....this guy you like, fingered a friend of yours but wants to be with you? I find that disgusting. I mean if he likes you, wouldn't he have left her alone from the beginning? I know he's a guy n all and they think with their hormones pretty much all the time, but still....that would be a little wierd for me. If he really likes you, then he would have done something instead of leaving you in the dark not knowing what is going on or what to do. Personally I think i'd be a good thing for you to move on, even though it might be hard because you like him a lot, but from what he's done, he sounds like nothing but trouble and a one way ticket to the heartbeak hotel. Hope I helped any! =)
Every day i go to school and i see all these couples walking around together. I'm really jealous because i want to be one of those guys that other people look at walking with their g/fs. The only problem is that there is nobody at my school that i can see myself goin out with right now. What can i do? (I'm a freshman)
I felt like that in eigth grade and by ninth grade I had my current boyfriend (i'm a junior now), and we're still dating. There are many many many people at your school that feel the same way you do. I have had so many people tell me how lucky I was to have somebody to love and for them to love me back. Really being single is an awesome thing too. That means theres more friend time, you time, you don't need to discuss or ask about anything before you do it...but having someone is a great thing too. You'll find somebody be it this year or your sophmore year. Have fun right now and you'll know when the right person comes along. Don't rush it. Hope I helped! =)
ok me and my boyfriend broke up and we still say "i love you" but then one day he got really mad at say he never wanted to talk to me again..but then he called me 3 dayz later and was talkin to me (that night he called and said sorry about sayin that!) then the last couple of nights he wouldnt hang up til we said "i love you" like he would just say "bye" til i said it then last night i said bye and he goes "bye shut up you know what to say" ...but then he used to tell me about missin out on some other girl...so whats his deal ..can someone tell me or explain his game to me!!...SORRY SOOO LONG!!
The way you explained it was a little confusing, but I think I understand what you're saying. If you guys are broken up, why does he still say I love you and stuff like that? That makes it sound as if you guys are dating. Since you guys aren't together anymore, he shouldn't expect you to say I love you when you hang up because that sounds to much like boyfriend and girlfriend. You don't have to say it if you don't want to. Now, about the other girl he says that he's missing out on, (i'm pretty sure thats what you mean), if he's going to say things like that then i'd tell him to be with her if he thinks he's missin out on her. He really shouldn't say things like that to you if he "loves" you and if he did, then he wouldn't unless he's trying to hurt your feelings or make you think someone else is going to have him.
Personally, this friendship (since you guys aren't dating anymore) dosn't sound like it's going to work out at this moment. Maybe you should talk to other people, until he stops acting this way. Hope I helped any =)
i am deeply in love with a very close guy friend of mine. we have lost touch. he moved away and theres no way i can see him, we talk on the phone once a month about. hes my best friends brother..shes still here with her family its only him that moved..ill only be able to see him once a year, he gets so many girls, hes my ex boyfriend, he probably has so many where he is now, but when he comes back for his 2 week visits i want somehting to happen with him, he doesnt knwo i feel this way, and eaither does his sister (my best friend) what do i do?!?!
*Sigh*....awww thats horrible. =( Well, you could tell him how you feel...that's always a good start. Communication is the key. However, if he does not want to start anything, you're going to have to move on and live your life. He's moved away, you don't know what he's doing, and you don't talk to him very much nor do you see him much. I am in a long distance relationship now, as a result of my moving away, and we decided to keep it going. So we talk everyday and make plans to see each other. If you two work things out, i'm sure you guys could do a LD relationship too.
You'd have to work it out to what nights you can talk and split the cost of the phone bill, let him know what you expect and what you don't want, and that would go for him too. But if you really love him, you need to let him know how you are feeling. As for your best friend, she may or may not be okay with the idea...you know her well enough most likely to know how she'd react to things, talk to her about it too, because if she's up for the idea, maybe she could help you =) Hope I helped at all!
so theres this person who i met online. and hes the sweetest thing ever. and i know hes not some crazy stalker whos 76 yet he always says he loves me and he wants to go out and everything. im freaked out that like..he says that. i mean i told him i wanted to get to know him and everything. but sometimes like..i forget about him. blah im just wondering what to say to him..
Okay, Don't be fooled by people on the internet who want to get to know you like that hunny. You may think he's not crazy but there is always that "what if..." that he is crazy. If he is saying things like "I Love you" then that is a sign that maybe you should stop talking to him. He dosn't know you and hasn't met you in person, and he's already saying stuff like that? Your number one priority in the situation is to make sure you're safe....and stop talking to him. If you must tell him something, tell him you don't feel that way about him...and just slowly end it. Hope this helps! =)
Ok, im 7ft tall, and of course a guy. It seems like every time i approach a girl shes always so afraid of me. She never wants to talk to me and hold a convo. w/ me. When people do talk to me, they always ask how tall i am, then sit and stare. Why are girls so afraid of me? and how do you suggest i cure this problem, and maybe advise on how to keep the convo going w/o it dropping off at how big my feet are.
Aw....well maybe girls are a little intimidated by your height. I mean, i'm only 5'2 and I think i'd be a little bit scared of a guy who was towering over me at 7 feet tall...(even thought I like tall guys lol) They stare at you because you stand out and they probably are fascinated by your height. I know I find it hard not to notice someone as tall as you. Maybe you could laugh about it. It's a cool thing. Be proud of it. Don't let it bother you, and maybe it won't bother other people. =) Hope I helped any at all. If you need anything else, just ask me!
Okay Where do i start theres this guy(Johnta) who i have been goin off and on with for the past two years.. and recently i broke up with him because i started liking this guy(Steve) i met at the beginning of school, i mean yea me and Johnta went to the same school but he never walked me to class and whenever i did see him all he did was give me a handshake like he was ashamed of me or something, and people came up to me and was like "Johnta said yall dont go out" and we did.. so i decided that maybe i should get to know steve better and i did and he treats me with respect, he walks me to class, carries my bookbag, and just makes me smile whenever i am around him, But now Johnta and Steve dont like each other because of me the other day they were about to fight in school and they didnt but they were in each others face and the only thing that came out of johntas mouth was " Fuck You! You Fucked With My Heart!" and i felt really bad.. but steve really likes me and i can tell he acts like it but when me and johnta were goin out johnta acted like we didnt.. i just dont understand why ALL OF A SUDDEN johnta acts likes he cares.. I Cant break up with steve i've gotten to know him and I REALLY like him ALOT.. all my friends tell me to break up with steve but they just dont understand how i feel.. what should i do?
Lordy lol. Well it sounds like, he could be ashamed. He could be afraid of commitment or scared that if he softens up for you or a girlfriend in general, that his friends might call him "whipped" and he could feel less Macho. (My boyfriends friends do that but he could care less)
Johnta also sounds like he wants you to be there no matter what, so he'll have someone to fall back on. But now that you have placed an interest in another guy, he's jealous. He wants you to himself and if he can't have you, then nobody else can. If you and Steve start going steady, don't be surprised if Johnta tries to cause problems or involve himself in your love life.
This guy Steve sounds like a really decent guy. I mean, since you are in the situation where you have to choose, would you rather be with Johnta and he treat you the way he has been, or with Steve who carries your books and treats you with respect? Personally Steve sounds like the better choice. Definatley boyfriend material and he sounds like he is more of a longterm guy. It may be hard to do that to Johnta, but it could be the best thing....for the both of you. Hope I helped. If you need any more advice on anything, just go to my advice column!