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Im a 19 year old female and I've been dating this guy on and off for about 6 years now and it started in high school. He used to treat me so well and I loved him. I felt like this was the guy I was going to marry but then he just changed. He started to cheat on me and I would just look past it because I thought he loved me and he would never do that to me. After a while people started to realize that he was cheating on me so I felt stupid and we broke up. We kept getting back together over the period of time but then he met this new girl, Katie. I didn't really care at the time because I had a new awesome boyfriend who treated me way better than my old bf ever did. Then when my ex broke it off with his girlfriend katie, he came running back to me and I loved him so i dumped my boyfriend and went back to him. The same stuff was going on but i loved him so much that i just brushed it off. As i got older i realized how dumb i was being after he didnt come back to me like he always did. I wasn't going to wait around. So for these last 6 months we havent been together or have talked to eachother or anything. He and his gf Katie broke up and he added me on facebook. I thought that he was just trying to do it to make his gf mad because he always used to do that so i didnt answer him. He kept trying but i didnt answer. Then i seen him at a party and he managed to get back into my life. He started texting me after he left and since then we have started dating again. Everything was going so well and he was treating me like he never had before. I was so happy and i thought that he finally came around and realized i was the one he wanted to be with but lately things have been so different. We had an amazing New Years and he was so affectionate towards me. It was fabulous until it just changed one day. we were at a party and he was ignoring me and just be rude to me and saying really mean things. He finally said something just completely out of line and i just walked out of the party. I stayed outside of the garage because i heard him talking and he was talking sh*t about me! I couldnt believe it. Usually when he is mean to me he always fixes it. I thought that when he left that he would text me or something but he didnt. I told myself that i wasnt going to be upset about it but i just cant help it. I am so heartbroken. I thought that i was smarter and stronger than that and i let him back into my heart and he just completely broke me. I can't talk to any of my friends about it because they tell me i should have known better. I just really need someone to tell me something positive and what i should do. I feel so alone and upset. i could use somebody. (link)
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It sounds like you have let this man control you for far too long. You can only give him so many chances, and boy have you given him many.
Drop him. He isn't worth your time. Love yourself and respect yourself enough to move forward and discover people who surround you with positivity, laughter, optimism and wisdom. Do yourself a favour and move on.
See this experience as something which will transform you. Realise that the pain you are experiencing now will shape you and teach you a lesson for the future. You know, deep down, that you deserve better than he has given you. You don't need anyone. You are complete.
"Everything that has happened in your life has happened perfectly in order for you - and all of the souls involved with you - to grow in exactly the way you've needed and wanted to grow." - Neale Walsch
Take the time to focus only on yourself. Let go, give yourself the freedom you've needed for so long. Separate yourself from anyone who may threaten your happiness and make a promise to yourself that your life will only become more enjoyable now. Welcome to a new way of thinking. :)
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I love him so much it kills me when we have to go our seperate ways and live so far apart... I cry myself to sleep, I can't eat or think straight because I miss him so much... please help me. (link)
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You must learn to channel these negative emotions and focus only on the love you feel for him. Think of all the good times you've had and all the good times to come. Remember how much he adores you and remember how much you adore him. Understand that in love there is no need for such pain and negativity - in love, distance is irrelevant. Accept the situation, make the most of it, push yourself through each day and remind yourself of why he is worth all of this. Be strong and try to understand that attachment is not healthy, it is damaging for you and those around you and it will be difficult for you to enjoy love the way you should when it drowns you like this. You can't go on and on at a break-neck pace, start enjoying yourself without him! Have fun with family and friends, do things which are productive throughout each day and relax your mind. Love is all there is. :)
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My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago, and... Let's just say that I give up. I don't know what to do anymore. I was positive it was going to work out, but he's just not trying. He told me he just didn't want to anymore, he just doesn't want a relationship anymore.
So I was thinking about giving him time since he wants to be a surgeon and everything. He will be working two jobs and going to school as a full time student, I know he won't have time for me. He wants me to move on, he asked me why I like him and everything.
He says that I'm always going to be that one special person, like the first person he kissed, the first person he lost his virginity, things like that. He also says that he's always going to love me, but the one thing that I'm scared about moving on... Is that I don't know where we will end up. Will we be friends? Will we possibly be together again? The other thing that I am scared to move on, I'm afraid he might be with another girl. I know it sounds selfish, but I'm terrified of losing him to another person. I don't want to even think about it, because he also told me that he wouldn't want to meet or see another girl because he knows they would get him off track to his career.
He doesn't want me to wait, because he believes he won't come back. He says he hopes, but he doesn't think he will. He even got my sister to try to help me move on, and that just hurts more.
Is there a way where I can move on? I don't want to hear about time or anything, but I need help to stop thinking of him moving onto another girl and everything. It makes me want to hold onto him longer because I'm scared he will.
The other question is, there must be a possible way that he will come back. So I was wondering, what would it take for him to come back? It doesn't matter how long for him it would take him, even years if it has to. But... Just how? Please help me.
Please and Thank you! (link)
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This break-up is terribly recent and your head must be in a funny place. You may not want to hear this, but I refuse to give you anything but the truth. Time will heal your broken heart. Give yourself the chance to live an independent life. Do things which make you happy, keep yourself busy and relax. Just breathe. Boys will come and go but at the end of the day you've got to remember that you are in control of how you react to situations like this. Rather than worrying yourself silly, understand that the pain you are experiencing right now (and also any emotional pain that you experience in the future) is going to shape you and transform you into a beautiful person who has experienced the ups and downs which will inevitably occur throughout life. If you love this person, let him go. Give him permission to live his life, just as you must live yours. Focus on getting through one day at a time, start to enjoy your own company again and think about the negative effect that emotional attachment has had on you. Free yourself of this burden. Love yourself without him. If you ever need to talk, I am here.
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