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How do you know what a guy's motives are? Like how do you differentiate between just a crush, a guy that is head over heels for a girl, or a guy that is just trying to get into their pants? I rate high for well-thought out answers. =]
Madison.
Age 18

To be honest with you, this may not help your situation much but its how i perceive it all.. I dont believe there is a set way to figure out what a guys motives are..

Me being a guy myself, i can honestly say that ive learnt how to be sneaky and sly and how to lie to get what i want.. With some people its obvious and a dead give away as they are genuine people.. However, there are some people which are sneaky and sly and will do and say anything to get what they want from someone. To some extent, ive done this myself and ive never been caught.

The only kind of advice i can give you is to learn what the person is like.. Learn a lot about them. Read into things such as body language and learn signs to tell when a person lies.

To me i believe there is no set way to tell what a guys motives are by what he does or what he says. Every person is different and some will be better liars than others. At the end of the day it will all come down to how much you trust the guy if your question is referring to getting into a relationship..

Hope i somewhat helped
Best of luck

Sanj

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i'm sure there is a girl in my collage keep looking to me,and she tries to follow me wherever i go,,and when i have a break i see her around,,you know,i like her but i cant move and talk to her :..( i dont know what to do??

A lot of people that i know and have seen that are really good with girls are still scared to approach a girl..
Its one of the hardest things to do and unfortunatly there is no set of rules n guidelines which will help you to do this..
You have to simply pluck up the courage and make the first move to start a conversation.. Personally i believe its the fear of rejection which scares most guys from approaching girls..
The only way to try and overcome this is to just go out and do it, its gonna be hard everytime you try and approach and start a conversation with a girl you dont know.. Just dont start with a lame pick up line or anything like that.. Start a general conversation without hitting on her at all..

You just have to think of the situation as, "whats the worst that could happen?" she could reject you and tell u to completly get lost, its not likely but even if it did happen, ur not any less better off now..

Best of luck
Sanj

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I love this guy who broke up with me last year. i think he has moved on but i havent at all. we are still friends and i sometimes go to hhis house to hang and stuff but i...love him and i dont think he understands. all my friends are getting their "true love" but i am to scared to tell him how i feel because im scared he doesnt even like me..:( please help

Its a very difficult situation..
I think as for your friends finding their "true love", dont feel pressured.. you dont want to end up rushing into something just because you didnt want to feel left out, which you may realise may be the wrong choice..

I think you need to think and decide wether this boy is worth risking everything for.. is it worth telling him how u feel if there is a chance that he may feel the same way? or are you better off keeping everything inside but remaining friends..

If he is worth the risk.. tell him how u feel..
1 tip i always try and use is to always expect the worse.. that way, if the worse occurs, your sort of prepared.. on the other hand, if the best happens you will be pleasantly surprised...

Just make sure you think about everything carefully before you do anything...

Wish you the best of luck
Sanj

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18/f
Ok so I know this is really stupid of me asking by what are some cute pet nicknames for my boyfriend

Please don't say cutie pie or sweetie I'm looking for something original and cute

LOL.. i call my girlfriend "froggy"... i got to it a long and complicated way of just finding things that rhyme with her name.. and things that sounded similar and ended up with the word "frog" and jus ended it with froggy..

Nicknames can be any name realy which can remind u of the person.. ive heard nicknames such as ladybird just because a girl played red everytime in connect 4.. so it can be anything..

Some orignial nicknames ive heard which will be hard 2 spell.. "Shmookums" "Snuggle-muffin"


Hope Ive Helped

Sanj

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Okay, so my bf and i have decided to have sex for the first time, both of us are virgins. we are mature enough and everything, and i know all about it, but i would just like to hear advice from other peoples point of view. like what advice or tips do u have, and what to expect.

I believe if you think you are ready then to both go for it.. At the same time if you think you are ready and you trust your bf then you should go for it.. It takes your love to another level..

I would advise that when you are going to do it.. Make sure it is something special.. dont try and rush anything - take your time beacuse the first time will be a special time and something you want to remember and share for the rest of your life..

First time for a girl i know will hurt.. So bare that in mind.. There will be some pain for the first time but it will fade as you get into it and you will enjoy it..

I think the first time for a boy can be a lot easier than for a girl...

As you both are virgins.. help eachother out.. point the other in the right direction so you both enjoy it the best you can..

Hope Ive Helped

Sanj

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f/17
me and my boo, weve been talking for a long time like 6 months, and i think its time i ask him out since hes so shy. I seriously think hes never been in a relationship before and im surprised he grabs my hand wen we walk or puts his arms around me alot. I want to ask me out but dont know how. Hes really shy with that, and how can i ask him to be my boyfriend without flipping out, like getting a heart attack because he gets nervous?????I really want to be his girl, i need advice. How can i ask him to be my boyfriend???

Well, i think if you guys are really good friends i think you should go about things very upfront.. usually, not always but it is the guy which asks the girl out, some guys may take it the wrong way if you ask them out.. One thing i suggest is not to asm him out, but instead tell him you hav really really strong feelings for him, and let him say something.. He can either reply with i feel the same way or i think we should be friends.. From what ive read sounds to me like there is definatly a connection between the both of you. I think the best thing to do is to go somewhere where it is just you and him, and tell him when you feel right.. You will naturally be nervous but think of it this way, those few minutes of you being nervous could lead to you having years of hapiness. So take the risk!

Once you tell him that you have feelings for him, the ball is in his court, it then kind of forces him to tell you how he really feels. If he says he has feelings for you, the relationship becomes more of a mutual thing and will just happen.

Just make sure you consider every situation that could happn. For example if you told him, and he didnt give you a reply, dont think he doesnt feel the same way, maybe he just needs time to think things through..

About the kissing situation, i think that if once you have told him how you feel and he says he feels the same way, then go in for a kiss - a long passionate kiss. This is a good point to do it as it will kind of break the silence and not make the situation akward as you wont be left with "he said he likes me, what do i do now"..

I wish you luck, let me know what you decide to do and how it all goes..

Hope ive helped..

Sanj

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What are the steps to get a girl from hardly noticing you to her going out with you? I am ugly so don't count on looks helping me here. I also don't want this to happen "That ugly guy keeps saying hi to me and talking to me. Its so weird. Next time he says hi to me I am going to say don't look at me"
So detailed guide in how to start.

First thing is first..you are not ugly..you are you...people can like you or love you...

There is no real guide to this sort of thing..If you want a girl to like you, you have to be yourself and not use a guide as a plan to get her to like you. Yeah there are things you can do like help her out when she is in need, always try and be there for her, just take things step by step. Start off with the odd hello and then start talking to her more and more till you both get to know eachother really well.

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ok welllll....do guys findd it weird when girls play video games? or is it cool? and do guys like it when girls are girly but still "boyey"?

P.S. boyey is not a real word..i just made it up...fyi

Yeah most guys like it...i think guys like the idea of girls playing video games but not so much when the girl beats us at it..hah

Personally i am a girly girly type of guy
i fall on my feet for girly girls...

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I've read some of the advice you have given to other people, I hoping maybe you could help me out. I'm a 14 years old girl. This might be a typical problem but I think I have fallen for the wrong person. The boy I like is totally the opposite of me. I hardly talk to him compare to all my friends. I hear so much about him although I feel like I don't know him. I've liked him for over a year now. I know he is not worth it but it's hard to change my feelings towards him. All my friends tell me to get over him and I know they're right but like I said before it's really hard. Some day's I feel like going up to him and tell him how I feel but I’m to shy to I guess. I don't know whether to tell him or not because the way he would react, he might react as if I never existed or he might react a totally different way I don't know. What do you think I should do? Do you think I’m wasting my time liking this boy?

*CandY*

ok..umm i sorta been in a similar situation with a girl obviously :)

i really really really liked this girl and the whole thing lasted about 2 years...the truth is..1000 of people could yell at you to get over him because he is not right for you or whateva..but it is not jus gonna suddenly happen. i think the only realy way that you are going to get over him is with time...sounds stupid i know...i thought the same thing when i liked this girl...i have liked the person 4 this long and i need more time..i know it sounds really stupid but its the truth...well about the only way i know..

I also know exactly how you feel when you say you dont know if you should tell him or not because you have no idea how he will react, he can be ok with it and be normal with you but there is also a risk he can completly shut you out of your life. I have recently learnt that you are only goin to live once..n i dont want to look bak in a few weeks..months or years saying gosh i wish i did this..or tried that.. 4 that reason i always tell some one how i fell about them etc
i know its a risk you may not want to take..but it could end up working in your favour, if you tell him how you feel it could go two ways.. he either likes you bak..or he doesnt..
if he likes you back well then you are practically going out...if not it could help you see ok he doesnt like me back time to start looking for someone new..it changes how u think completly.. recently i started to like my bestest friend...n because we r so close i told her exactly how i feel..but about a few weeks ago she told me she didnt feel the same way n she felt more comfortable as friends..and that made me go out lookin for someone new.. \"exploring my options\". n well i think i just might have found someone..

try not to be shy..whenever i feel nervous about something, think of it as being \"now or never\" and just go for it.

most of all..be yourself let him like you for who you are or not at all. people should be able to like you for who you are not for what they want you to be.

best of luck with it all
let me know if you need anything else...or email me:
sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com (also my msn add)

hope ive helped

sanj
p.s sorry for it being so long

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How can you tell if a guy likes you?
Katie~dory16

umm there are loads of little ways...

if when he talks to you see if he holds his eye contact for a long amount of time without looking away

when talking to him does he stand sidewards or stand ful on facing you givin you his full attention..

lol i am so much betta at telling when a girl likes a guy but ummm what else is there...

he will purposly try and take the piss out of you just to try and get attention...

he will go out of his way to ask you opinion on something

alot more touching than necesarry...dependin on the boy

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I needed a guys advice so i came to you. I like this guy but i dont know if he likes me. do you know how to get their attention?
p.s- i think its "hot" that you live in united kingdom. thanks

lol bless :D

well...i will need a lil more info on this guy...jus tell me any general details about him...his interests etc...n ill c wt i can do

by the way...e-mail me...

sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com

this site has become fussy about the chatting that goes on through these so yeh ill b happy to help you out through emaill

speak to ya soon

Sanj

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Hello, I'm a 15 year old male who just started using this website. I was searching through your posts and I realized that you said you had a 7 step program to getting a girl to like you. I don't want to sound odd by asking about this, but there is this girl that I have liked for a long time and I feel like I've tried everything there is. Please respond to this. Thanks!

lol....well
i will tell you
but not on this site...to many people who may want to use it to become a "player" and thats not what i want this to be used for...

so email me and tell me more about this girl and your situation...and ill tell you my plan :)

sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com

^^^just email me on that with everythink and we can talk some more....

Sanj

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So I have this boyfriend I love with all my heart. We've been going out for a little over a year. But like lately Uve been meeting other guys and I don't like them or anything but I always think of like what would happen if I cheated on my boyfriend with one of them. One of these guys, I will be seeing this weekend and I know it's possible something couldl happen. And I don't know. I don't want to cheat, but I might. Helppp!

You say you love your boyfriend...that maybe true but you haven't said if your relationship is a good one or not. From that i am going to guess it is not going to well at the moment, hence why cheating has crossed your mind. I could be wrong but im just telling you from how i see it.

I think if you do have problems you need to talk it out with him. And if you really do love him as much as you say you do, you wont cheat on him. You make it sound as if the other boy is going to force you to cheat or something will takeover your body and it will magically happen. well it wont the only person that will make you cheat is you. I know im being harsh but i have to be honest. Give it some thought..do you really love him as much as you think??why would you ever think about cheating on him.

Let me know if you need anythink else...

Sanj

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woww sanj you seem to be reali good at this. you must b a pro. 'lol. how long have you been into all of this sanj? i never knew there was so much you could know by just reading someones body language. sanj have you ever found out that someone likes you?.lol that would be funny and akward at the same time :D 'lol
and thanks for all of those tips. when i get back to school im going to see if hey work .lol
sanj what kind of a person are you? like what kind of things are you into? tell me a lil bout yourself please. sorry if im like being all noisey, its just that you sound so interesting. i dont know any1 my age that knows anything about body language. lol i wish i knew more people like you.

thnks for replying before :D tc xxxangelxxx

LOL,

there is a countless number of things you can read from someones body language..trust me.

Umm yeah there have been the odd few times where i have found out some people liked me. But i remeber when i first started out with this body language reading, i jumped ahead of things and was so convivnced this girl liked me, when she really didnt. So yeah gotta be careful.

I just read this sites news, apparently they dont really like people sending personal messages like this..so listen e-mail me....(sanjeev_sangar@hotmail.com) and ask me any questions you like and ill answer anything and everything that you want to know :) (plus i dont wanna give too much about myself away to all the people reading these, they can email me if they wanna know lol)

Sanj

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wowww your good at this. but like how is someone supose 2 practise theese skills?
im always having issues about who my true friends are. thats one of my main problems i think. so is there anything you know about that?
and yeaa lying would be a useful one init. :D i guess im probably always geting lied to.
and sanj do you have anything else that shows when someone likes someone? i know it sounds funny but wat can i say? lol it would come in very useful 2 me :D
sanj what kind of results do you usually get when you try it at school? lol have you found out any secrets that no one knows you know?
does this stuff really work?

well, if your friends are not really true friends, it is going to come down to lying..some of the time. A few tips for if a person is lying are like if they give like 1 word answers when you ask them things, um SOMETIMES people tend to have sweaty hands, ive seen it happen, they will often try and ovoid the subject that you are talking about, they wont be able to keep eye contact for very long. Sometimes people try to be clever, and they can still give it away by sometimes they will give too much detail, or keep eye contact for so long that its scary lol. That sorta thing.

Well, attraction between two people, would be like any excuse to go and touch the person in anyway way, long eye contact, pupils dialted, standing square on with the person. For attraction i speacialise really in telling if a gilr likes a boy they seem to give it away easier without them knowing it. A girl will hld eye contact, twhirl her hair when lookin at the boy, when they are gettin closer they tend to make sure they are looking ok, they expose their palms alot (showing that the body is saying you can have me if you want me) when the are sitting down, if there knees are pointing towards the person it can show a liking.

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thanks for adding me on msn. i think i came on once today looking forward to chting 2 you, but you wernt online. sanj i was going through the advice you have given people. in one of them you rote

''If you can master a few simple skills of body language. You can read their relationship just by watching them, i love doing this with people in school, practise makes you better. Message me back if you want a few simple skills i can teach you.''

i found that realy cool. before,i took your advice and looked up 'reading body language' on google. i wana say thanks for that coz i learnt some interesting fings. but what you wrote in your advice sounded amzing lol. and i was wondering if you could help me by telling me about those few simple skills. and you mentioned school, and that sounded like exactly what i was looking for.
i know alot of people at school that confuse me to much. there are like 5 different boys that keep playing with my mind in school. can you please teach me some of the tricks you use in school, they would help me ALOTTT!! i would love to go to school one day and find out exactly what is going through some peoples minds about me. i know im sounding desperate, but the things i have to deal with at school are to much.
thanks so much sanj

xxangelxx

LOL

yeah, i know what you mean by wanting to know exactly what people are thinking and feeling.
Once you have learnt the skills, you must watch and practise them for ages, its taken me ages to master, but it is definatly worth it.

A warning though, every body's body language is different, so if two people do the same body language it may not mean the exact same thing, so keep your eyes open.

Ok a few simple signs, its in the persons eyes. I have never truely tested this but it has come up many times when i have searched, when someone is looking at someone they like, there eyes usually dialte (get bigger, the pupil bit). But this can be read wrong because if they are facing the sun you will get an opposite effect etc, so test it in the right conditions. Secondly, the way they are standing, if they stand square on, means like they are giving you there full attention, but if the are standing side-ways, there mind is usually off somewhere else in other words they would rather be somewhere else. When talking, if the person tends to lean in a little closer than normal (coming into your own space) tends to mean they have a liking for you. Umm, while talking with the person, if the person has constant eye contact with you for around 7-8 secs, usually means they are interested in what you are saying. But if there eyes tend to look everywhere but at you tends to mean they dont give 2 shits to what you are saying basically lol.

There are loads more too do with different topics, message me back with a topic e.g. lying, relationship, friendship etc etc

Sanj :D

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okay so i've liked this kid .. we'll call him joe for months now. and he's screwed around with my head and dragged me along .. but i still couldn't get over him. and recently i've been on a site called e-spinthebottle. and i met a guy .. we`ll call him tom. well tom is so nice we've talked on espin and on aim. and he called me last night .. hes like 10x better than any guy i know and i know he's a REAL guy no some perv. he has a myspace with friends and comments and all that stuff. but like i dont know what to do .. i finally am over joe only to like someone who lives like 4 states away from me .. this isn`t exactly how i pictured getting over joe .. by gettin stuck on another guy i cant have ..

help .. please ...

Well, i think it is good that you are now over "joe".

Secondly, i know what it is like meeting someone over the internet who lives ages away and stuff. Now if you did get into a relationship it could go a few ways. Firstly, you could end up going out, and it could be a big mess because of the distance. Secondly, you could go out, and it could all work out somehow, it again depends on the age and how often you can meet. Thirdly, you could both just stay goopd friends, not much of a risk to take, but hey you would have gained a good friend.

I have fallen for many girls just because we have clicked for a week or two, but in a about 3 weeks i realised i didnt like them it was all just a lil trick my mind was playing on me. I suggest giving it some time, a few weeks may be, this should give you some time to sort things out in your head. This may be just a little phase you are going through (ive been through loads of them)

Maybe in time you will see that this distance between you two will make things never work between you 2.

Hope ive helped..message me if you need any more help :-)

Sanj

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i know your not a pedofile. if i thought you were, i wouldnt have started the convo with you.
errmm yes i do have msn. my add is angel_4_eva_123@hotmail.com
add me whenever but i don't go on msn too often.
im looking forward to chating to you some more.
bye
p.s my name isnt ange .lol
its a long story but il tell you whenever i chat to you

koool, well i have added you so ill speak to you when ure online next

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wut is the best way to get over a break up

There is no real solution for this..apart from time

When it happens it will happen fast..but until then im sorry there is no other real way

some people have mention try to like someone else..this can be a good way but i have found if you end up falling for someone new, and you still like your ex, it can cause even more problems..

I believe giving it time is the best way...sorry

Sanj

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Alright well, theres this kid and if I don't talk to him I start missing him. And when I ask myself if I like him I say no. But then when I miss him I start thinking I really do like him. I think im confused. Hes not really my type but hes so fun to talk to, and hes so funny. He understands all my weird jokes. Were like the same person but differnt genders. I dont get why I keep telling myself that I dont like him. I get frustraited about it too. I think that that is what my question is. So if you can tell me why I keep telling myself I dont like him, that would be great. Thank you!

Well, this can go two ways really

The first way, you could be telling yourself that you dont like him and you really dont like him. It is like a conflict with ure heart and your brain. I have been through many phases like this where i think i might like someone because i have been so close with them for a few weeks but then it will pass.

But on the other hand, you really might like him, and something is holding you back. Maybe something from a past boyfriend if you have had one (Usher - You Remind Me

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