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Originally from England, live in Seattle, WAOccupation:
musicianAge:
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May 5, 2011Answers:
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August 17, 2011Visitors:
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about
Hey there! No need to let you know my entire life story, but I'm a psych buff with a good ear. I won't pretend to have absolute intel on everything, because I'm not a narcissist ;) But I can tell you I have a lot of knowledge and insight into mental health, relationships, sex, bisexuality, pets, and am good at listening to any problem and giving the best insight I'm capable of.
By the way, the picture above is not me, as I am not Hayley Williams from Paramore. I look quite a lot like her in that picture, and am a musician. I choose to retain a certain level of anonymity here, so that you won't feel uncomfortable about asking questions, but certainly if you want to find out more about me, just ask me for my email or IM.
Ask away!
advice
my bf want s sex i'm12 year old girl and he's 16 i'm not ready he would touch me and kiss my kneck. I would say stop but would say babe relax. i say stop he says ok but he always bugs me about sex and once he tried to take off my shirt. i love him but not sexually. what should i do?
You should tell him he either needs to accept the fact that you're 4 years younger and are not ready nor do you want to have sex yet (You really need to wait a good 6 years, ideally) or that you will break up with him. It is terrible he is insisting you do this, he is 4 years older than you, it is different for him. I do not think you should keep dating him, I think you should focus on your friends/family, or find a new boyfriend more your age.
Good luck sweetie. Feel free to message me if you have any more questions
what and how is a easy way to die quick without pain if u wont tell me sumbody else will
The fact that you are asking on here, apposed to just say, googling it, means that either this is a cry for help, or a troll attempt.
I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume its a cry for help.
In which case, you know what I'm going to say already. A good percentage of people frequently reach a point where they feel like life isn't worth living. For some, its a moment. For others, its months. It can depend. Regardless, giving up your life is never the answer. Seek therapy, medication, etc. Seek support where you have it. Check yourself into a rehab/suicide prevention place if needed.
Regardless, keep fighting. Always. Life can only get better, no?
Good luck. xx
My boyfriend of 1 and half years was confused about what he wanted, and all he kept saying was "Im confused, i love you and thats why we cant be together :/" No, not a long distance relationship, No,both our families know and are completely okay, he just doesnt want me and doesnt know how to end it basically right? im not an idiot, im just wondering. thanks. =/
Sounds to me like he's wondering what else is out there. (Sorry to be so blunt.)
It means, he loves you, but hes bored with his life and wonders if maybe thats cause of you. Maybe he's even depressed. Hes considering exploring his options but dosent want to lose you, if he can't find better. Plus he loves you.
That'd be my assessment. I could be wrong. But frankly, if he's "confused" or "unsure" about you after being together for a year and a half, then you can do better.
Tell him you don't want to be with someone confused. That you know what you want and you want someone who knows what they want.
Most likely he'll beg you to stay. Your choice as to what to do. Good luck sweetie.
Ok so My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 months, when we had our first kiss i felt something i never felt before, im guessing that's the spark, So we just kissed like normal (not making out ) then after 2 months of dating we decided to start making out, every since we started making out i dont feel the spark .... Is this normal, I love kissing him and all but i havent kissed him normally for a month now :/ i havent felt the spark for a month, should i tell him or... Can i make there be a spark when we make out ?
How do you feel about him? About your relationship with him? kissing aside. Do you feel comfortable and safe with him? Do you like spending time with him?
Quite frequently the initial massive spark of passion and excitement fades into sweet comfortability. Then you have to work at keeping it exciting.
This, specifically, is nothing to worry about if you're willing to try, the question is do you love him, do you want to be with him, do you feel happy with him?
Answer that question and you'll have your answer.
ok so me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a half. were both 17 we go to the same schoool. He just recently started working alot and i dont get to talk to him and i find my self cryinggg because i hate change and im used to talking to him 24/7 and i dont want to be clingy and i keep crying cuz i feel like he doesnt care and idk what to do anymore. i feel really depressed. please help me.
Change can be hard, if you're scared of it.
And it kind of sounds like to me, that you're afraid of something bigger, that you see any change in your relationship/life as a bad thing. Its not. As long as he can create a healthy balance between time with you and his job, then he's not doing anything wrong, he's just living his life, with you, while doing something important.
If he's ignoring you and spending all his time doing something else, then you can complain, but until then, I would just say find something to do, while he's doing that. Are you social? Go out! Have a friend over. Read a book. Volunteer. Work, if you're not.
Don't stress. Nothings changed, you're loved, but everybodys got responsabilities. ^-^
my boyfriend just ended our year and a half realtionship over a text message telling me he lost feelings for me and he isn't feelin it anymore and all this and that. he had been treating me like he didnt care, but his response was im just not affectionate like that i never have been. and his sister and parents would say yeah he's never been romantic. anyways, we broke up and we went from being together all the time to nothing. not to mention, we work together. although i am moving on, i just think about the day he'll come back and say he made a mistake. but im wondering if since we still see each other at work that will be a bad thing? by this i mean will he not even miss me cause he sees me a couple times a week, or will this be harder for him because he has to see me still to move on?
This isn't going to be what you want to hear.
The reality is, unless you're about to say you'd stopped trying, or caring, or putting your energy into being a good girlfriend, he took a good hard look at what you had to offer, tried it out, and ultimately rejected it.
That being said, even if he reconsidered, he made the right choice, because there are thousands of guys out there for whom you will be perfect, the sun, the moon, and all that.
I also am now going to ask you how much your job means to you. Is it one you never want to leave? Is it important to your career?
If the answer to those questions is no, start looking for another job. Or ask for a change in shifts so you don't have to work with him. Otherwise all you will do is torture yourself, and it will affect your work life.
This is the downside to dating a coworker. (Been there, done that.)
I know it sucks. But I'd use this as an opportunity to change anything in your life that you want to, see it as a new start.
And forget him, because he rejected everything you had to offer, and I'd bet thats a lot.
Good luck sweetie.
I'm just wondering, is it against the law to hit a girl? Because there is this girl in my class who i wanna smack, would i get in trouble? If it helps i live in Ontario, Canada. Thanks
The law is not the issue here.
Don't hit people. Violence is never the answer.
If you don't like her, ignore her.
i am a male from pakistani want to fuck my mom she is really very sexy having large boobs
Either A) You are a freaking troll, in which case, grow up and get a life
or B) You have massive massive issues and we cannot provide you with the help you need here. Go see a therapist immediately.
I am 18 and female. I recently split up with my girl friend who i love to peices and we had to finish the relationship cuz she couldnt handle the distance cuz she got told go live with her nan, i dont know if i should fight to keep her or let her go and move on? any suggestions would be greatful
How long were you together?
Here's what I would say. Plenty of long distance relationships don't work. At the same time, my sister was with her girlfriend for a year, and then moved to the UK, while her girlfriend still lives in Seattle. They have been faithful, and are still together 3 years later, and plan for her girlfriend to move to the UK.
It can go either way. It comes down to - are you willing to tough it out? To go through the pain of missing someone so much and not being able to reach out and touch someone. You both have to really want it to work for it to work. Doubts are natural, but you both have to really want it.
Also, you could temporarily set up some kind of open relationship agreement, still talk on the phone and see each other when you can as much as possible, but be allowed to date other people. If you really want to be with each other, those people will pale in comparison.
Hope this helps, good luck sweetie.
My boyfriend says that we haven't been together long enough to be married and I don't understand. He and i met each other when i was 16 and he was 17. He always told me that once we graduated from college that we could get married. We were in programs in college that didn't allow us to get married or we'd get kicked out. Now that I'm 23 and he's 24. He still hasn't proposed after 7 years.After all of the family christmases, sex and 'i love you's'... It hurts. Do you think we haven't been together long enough?
Everybody moves at a different rate, and whats more every relationship moves at a different speed. That being said, 7 years is long enough. Now you say he hasn't proposed, have you discussed it? Ever thought of asking him? If he says no, you would at least get to hear why not and have a serious discussion about it. And if you don't want to do that, just ask him bluntly. At 23, you're old enough to have very blunt logical conversations about your future. You've invested a lot of time in your relationship, so it really is time to establish whether this is it, or whether he's still holding out for something else. Talk to him. Ask him.
do guys like it when girls touch themselves? does it turn you on or is it unattractive?
Most guys think its incredibly hot. Guys are very visual when it comes to sex, while women are usually more mental. Watching you masturbate is like watching porn, and he gets to see you in ecstasy without having to do any work to make it happen.
I cannot speak for all men everywhere, but I can say that a good majority love this.
I like my bestfriends boyfriend:( I know it's wrong but I use to have feelings for him and thought they were gone but now that they're dating I got feelings for him again. I feel like a horrible friend but I can't help it....we even flirt. It's like I can't control myself. I can't avoid him because I see him all the time now that they're dating. If I tell my bestfriend she'll either dump him not to hurt me or tell me to stay away from him:( what can I do to get over my feeling for him? I even recently dumped my boyfriend because I felt like I was "cheating" by having feelings for someone else. How can I control my feeling or get rid of them? Thank you:)
First off, I'm sure you can't expect us to say anything but do NOT mess with your best friends boyfriend.
You can't turn your feelings off. This much is true. But when you say you can't help flirting with him, thats not true. You can. Don't. If you have to be standoffish, so be it. When you hang out with your best friend, ask if it can be the two of you more often. He is completely off limits. You wouldn't want to be with someone who would hurt your best friend like that, and you wouldnt want to lose your friend over feelings for this guy.
It sucks, but you need to keep your distance, if not physically but emotionally. Don't engage, don't flirt, and try and get over it.
Also, just so you know, feelings for someone else when you're in a relationship is normal. As long as you don't act on your feelings, and you still love the one you're with, theres no need to end the relationship.
Good luck, and remember crushes are fleeting but a best friend is like a sister.
what does snm mean
Well that depends. If you literally mean snm, then its a term for Plutonium.
If you mean S&M, then its a form of kink. Think leather, whips, chains, and dom/sub roleplay. Pain mixed with pleasure, etc.
where can the line be drawn for cheating as in sexual contact or just a simple hug or something else post your options
It is specific to the relationship.
Okay sure. If a couple sets no specific standards, just goes "We are exclusive, no cheating" To most that would mean you don't kiss anyone else, and you don't do anything that escalates from that point on. Then there are those who believe in emotional affairs. And theres also the concept of leading someone else on, and therefore "cheating".
But theres your general definition of what cheating is. If you haven't set any other guidelines, you pretty much have to go with that. But the reality is, every couple is different.
I've read and heard many times that it's healthy to have sex 4-5 times a week but is it really possible. Me and my bf still live with our parents so that makes it hard. How can we make it happen, we dont want to make it a chore, sometimes he has had a hard day at work or I have and we fall asleep really early. Sometimes we don't sleep at each others homes. And even if we did live alone together where is the time to be intimate and connect for a gd 30-45 min a day. It doesnt seem like alot of time but with full time jobs cooking cleaning running errands. Is this "healthy" amount of sex really possible? Is anyone successful with this or do you have any pointers?
Now first off, the healthy amount of sex to have is - exactly the amount you want to have. If 4-5 times a week doesn't feel natural to you, don't bother. The only sense in that 4-5 would be considered healthy is if A)That is your natural sex drive, and B)its a form of workout. My advice would be, have sex as much as both of you want, and go to the gym if you want to get a workout ;)
OK, so I'm feeling this girl really bad, but she lives with an ex, and while I respect the dude and them living together, and it doesn't bother me I want people to stop giving me all the "what if's" cause if I live my life by what if I do this or don't do that I'm going to cheat myself out of any kind of happiness, I want to ask her out officially, but to kill the rumors, what should I do?
So, you're unsure of whether to ask this girl out because it sounds potentially complicated, and because you're unsure of what her relationship is to this guy, this "ex" of hers, no? Do you know how long they went out for, what their future living plans are, or if she lives with anyone else? Does she want to change her living arrangements? What is she looking for? More importantly, what bearing to these questions have on your next move? Ultimately, much like with any potential dating scenario, you want to have the information first, to make sure you're not wasting your time or setting yourself up for heartbreak. You can try to find the answers to your questions, but its more important that you figure out what relevance the answers hold for you. Do you think you stand a chance? You can jump in, feet first, or you can approach with caution. Evaluate the situation, and your feelings on it, and make your choice. If you fear getting crushed, perhaps take things slowly on this one. - Phoenix
Okay,
I thought I texted my mum today to tell her i was walking home from a late class at school. When I looked-i found i had sent the message to my ex boyfriend :O So anyway i just sent one back to him saying 'Sorry tht was for some1 else.' Bearing in mind he broke up with me five months ago now and he's started three text conversations with me in the last month, what does anyone think he's thinking? Any comments would be great thankyou :)
I'd need a little more information to go on to give you a really detailed response on what he may or may not be thinking.
What was his reason for breaking up with you? How long had you been going out for? And more importantly, whats your interest in the situation, are you hoping to get him back?
People all react differently after a breakup. Sometimes both men and women like to end a relationship, but keep the door partially open, or even just retain the person in their life to some extent as a friend, or a "if everything else fails, theres always _" person.
Others are unsure if they actually wanted to end the relationship permanently, and will therefore keep some form of line of communication open.
And then theres dumpers remorse.
But my feeling would be, if he broke up with you 5 months ago and has shown no effort or indication of wanting you back or forming a real friendship, perhaps its time to take him off your phone so that accidental texts can't even happen. He rejected everything that you had to offer, just because he will occasionally text you doesn't mean you should waste any time or energy thinking about him.
Delete his number, replace it with someone else's ;) If he wants to reach you he can still text you.
okay. i have a problem. when i have intercourse with my partner, its really hard to get off. i can get hard and feel the pleasure but it takes a while ( and i do mean a while to get off.) so what should i do to help this problem
So who's complaining here, you or them?
I have to ask, because if you are indeed getting off, but it just takes a certain amount of time, then it shouldnt be an issue, as unless you're in pain, it just means thats how long you take. Have you had complaints from your partner that it takes you too long? Or do you just wish you got off quicker?
Now when you say intercourse, I can't know specifically what you do in bed with your partner, but different positions, different pressure, levels of tightness, speed, lubrication, obviously these all make a difference, and you can attempt mixing any of this up to see if it makes a difference.
At the same time, I would have to say that if its your issue, I would just relax and enjoy as long as you feel that pleasure/build up for. And if it's your partners, you should tell them to not be selfish about this. You take as long as you do, and you don't need to feel bad about it.