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He says we haven't been together long enough for marriage... it has been SEVEN YEARS!
My boyfriend says that we haven't been together long enough to be married and I don't understand. He and i met each other when i was 16 and he was 17. He always told me that once we graduated from college that we could get married. We were in programs in college that didn't allow us to get married or we'd get kicked out. Now that I'm 23 and he's 24. He still hasn't proposed after 7 years.After all of the family christmases, sex and 'i love you's'... It hurts. Do you think we haven't been together long enough?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
You been together a long a long time yes but you're still a bit too young to get married. I understand that's its something nice to think about but you really can't rush it. Your boyfriend might be trying to figure out his career first before wanting to settle down. The career is the most important thing and you should do the same. Everything is different when you're married I'm sure and its a lot more responsibility. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 25 and I love him with all my heart but I don't want to get married right now and not for awhile. I figure I want to finish school, find a career, and have fun in my 20s. There's plenty of time to get married and there's no rush. Isn't being with your boyfriend for right now enough? The "i love yous" are real I'm sure he doesn't need to put a ring on it to prove that. Don't rush it, just live in the now and have fun!
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I've read the three answer prior to mine and they all offer a unique prospective.
A friend of mine recently became engaged to a girl he has been living with for some time. She had felt for a while that they had lived together long enough and it was time they took their relationship to the next level. My friend of course liked things where they were.
This past Christmas his girlfriend gave him a deadline. Either they got engaged by the end of the following year (this year) or she was walking away. Two weeks ago, after he had asked her fathers permission, he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. I'm not saying this will work for you; it might and it might not.
I can't tell you why your boyfriend is stalling or if he is stalling. Guys are different than girls in more than the obvious reasons. He may be comfortable with the way your current relationship is. As my dad would say; "he is getting the milk for free, why by the cow". You may have to do something to move him or shock him out of his comfort zone, if that is what the problem is. Just remember that if you do this he just may call you on it so be prepared.
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Everybody moves at a different rate, and whats more every relationship moves at a different speed. That being said, 7 years is long enough. Now you say he hasn't proposed, have you discussed it? Ever thought of asking him? If he says no, you would at least get to hear why not and have a serious discussion about it. And if you don't want to do that, just ask him bluntly. At 23, you're old enough to have very blunt logical conversations about your future. You've invested a lot of time in your relationship, so it really is time to establish whether this is it, or whether he's still holding out for something else. Talk to him. Ask him.
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Seven years is more than enough time, In fact you would think after all these years you two would at least discuss the topic. You must really love this man to stick around because I don't know many people that would this long.
Your boyfriend could just simply be afraid of long term commitment, Talk to him. If you two have been dating this long then it shouldn't be a problem discussing it. Tell him you want to take things to the next level and you feel you two are ready. See what he says and how he reacts.
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Yes, For you I think you've been together plenty long enough. Men are a different story. Sometimes I think my boyfriend is... well... clueless. But we still love our men through all the crap they do.
Now as for your boyfriend I would just keep quiet, let him make his move. BUT give him a time frame ( don't tell him this though). Let's say by the time he you are 25-26 if he hasn't proposed you should start giving him not so subtle hints, or boldly tell him. Now I don't know if you are willing to wait that long but sometimes men are slow and , idk.... its like they have to take certain things slower or they will mess up. Sort of like how we have a plan of our future, husband, house, job, kids... all that is planned out. But for men... they know that they want or don't want those things but they really don't have any sort of plan or order for it. So they don't have a plan of when things will happen but that they will just know. I know this sounds really complicated and I did just drink a large black coffee... but I hope that makes sense. Give him a little more time, THEN hint if he is still being slow. Also some men want to be stable before they bring marriage into the picture, with a job and a way to financially support them as well as their wife. So maybe that's the case, I don't know, but you do. Be patient, this will not be the last time that he is dragging his feet on something. I wish you the best of luck.
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