I've overcome a lot of challenges, and have a strong educational background in psychology and communications. I believe that common sense and honesty are key to success in life -- and that most of us have common sense which we choose to ignore when making decisions.
Member Since: November 6, 2010
Answers: 36
Last Update: November 14, 2010
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Ok so Im dating this guy he likes to drink in gamble and he can be sweet but i dont no if i can trust him. also my dad dont like him.I been hanging with my guy friend and he is amazing n im starting to really like him he dont drink or do anything he dont even smoke and i can be my self around him and the good thing is my dad really likes him.my dads opinion is really important to me btw..but my boyfriend is texting my bestfriend and flirting with her he swears he's not but it is flirting and we barly talk which is messed up so i broke up with him and he is flipping out cause he said my find is just jealous and i dont thnk so cause we been friends for 8 years and i only no my bf for 6 months so my question is should i forgive my boyfriend and quit hanging with the guy im starting to really like or should i stay broke up with my guy and stay out of the drama in givee his new guy a chance?? (link)
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clearly the boyfriend is bad news. He drinks, gambles, hits on other women, and you don't know if you can trust him. There is no up side to this relationship that I can see. Even if your other guy friend isn't the one, please stay broken up with the boyfriend. You're worth more than that.
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i accidently called my gf fat what do i do ? (link)
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It's hard to answer without knowing the exact circumstances. Were you joking? Do you actually think she's fat? And if so, does it bother you?
Probably the best thing to do is apologize,and reassure her that you find her to be attractive, sexy, and lovable.
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My ex boyfriend (who broke up with me 3 months ago) text me saying he still loves me and can't get over me. But he isn't sure what he wants. He apologised for how he's treated me since we broke up and the day later he text me again saying he did mean what he said yesterday.
I'm so confused :/ What does he want? Attention? (link)
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I think a lot depends on why he broke up with you, and how the relationship was when you were together. Sometimes people do make mistakes out of fear or from their own stuff, and regret it later. However, the fact that he isn't sure what he wants may be a warning sign that he's a commitment-phobe; he may regret the breakup but isn't ready to give you what you need. It's probably worth talking to him (in person) to hear what he has to say, so that you can make a fully informed decision.
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So this guy wants to finger me and it'd be my first time that someone else has done it to me, and what do i do when he does? (link)
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One question I have would be: do you want him to do this? If you don't, please tell him no. It's okay not to be ready for this, so make sure you're genuinely all right with the idea.
If you are, it's important to be aware that if you are used to touching yourself, he will be touching you from a very different angle, and he may not understand how to touch you. Every woman's anatomy is different. It is important that you feel comfortable letting him know how you like to be touched. Many men go straight for direct pressure on the clitoris, not realizing that this is very painful until full arousal is reached. You may need to show him how you like to be touched, and it's okay for you to do that. A good thing to say is, "That feels really good, and I like this, too," and then show him what you like.
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So I met this guy and we got together the second time , and so when we did the second time because the first time we met in public and then before the second time and so he said he wanted me to be comfortable to have sex with him that whole week so he could have sex with me that last day(friday) and so I told him no right and then he said if I was there he'd have my shirt up and off and everything and later on I told him that I didnt want it and he said its insulting that I dont trust him after knowing him of two weeks and he said he wont go anywhere until the movies until stable relationship so today I felt bad because I made another excuse and then i went and seen him and he went right into making out up my shirt tried down my pants while I told him before no and then went down his pants and then he asked me so many times for a blowjob and i was like what about next time.. and all that right? and i felt bad so i went down on him twice my pants were on and his were off , but he didnt do his big cum explosion. am I pregnant? and i went to check myself and i had white stuff , but is that just from me? because pants and undies were on and everything so
thank you betty (link)
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Betty,
First of all, you should never, never, never feel pressured into having sex or sexual contact. Two weeks is not long enough for many women to feel comfortable making sexual contact. For your own safety, you should not have any unprotected contact without exchanging STD panel test results. You can easily get HIV or herpes from giving blowjobs. You need to be okay with saying no, and learn to protect your health and safety.
That being said, it is not possible to get pregnant from giving a blowjob. From your post, it sounds as if you did not have any contact between his genitals and yours, but it's a little hard to tell. If indeed you did not have genital contact or penetration, it is very unlikely that you could be pregnant. If you were feeling aroused, your own lubrication may be what you were seeing.
You don't have to have sex to get a guy to like you. Be careful, and take care of yourself. You get to choose what you do, and when you do it.
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Is 8years too long to wait for marriage (link)
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How old are you? Why eight years specifically? There are a lot of unknowns in this question. I know plenty of people who waited longer than that to get married, though they were together the whole time, but without more specifics from you, it's hard to tell what might be going on in your situation.
Bear in mind that in some states, if you live together as a couple, you have the rights and responsibilities of a married couple, and may accidentally acquire interest in each other's assets and debts. Not being married isn't a guarantee of financial safety. You should consult with a family law attorney to be on the safe side, to make sure you don't land yourself in a vulnerable situation.
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Ok! So I'm a junior and i like this freshman kid (please, no comment!. I didn't really like him until I started thinking he liked me. Of course, now that I do, I'm not sure if he likes me or not! I know this is very juvenile, but when we're on facebook chat he never says hi, and I texted him one time and he said gave be an enthusiastic hi but then that he was busy and he never texted me after that. Is that a definite no (that he doesn't like me)- should i try and get over him? I just dont know because he flirts with me like crazy in person...So frustrating! (link)
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If you didn't think you liked him until you thought he liked you ... it sounds more as if you're interested in the attention than in him personally. Your energies might be better directed toward someone you're sure you like, whom you know a little better, and whom you have things in common with. If he's sending mixed messages, don't waste your time playing games ... it's not worth it. Move on.
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I'm fifteen, sophomore. It's been five months since me and this guy I dated for seven months broke up. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, fingering, hj, and bj... It was a really unhealthy relationship and a super long story but to sum it all up, he really hurt me. He became sooo much a part of me that when we broke up I felt like I had nothing to distinguish myself with anymore. Even now, he doesn't even feel like a person to me, more like a whole part of myself. But its an empty space... We don't talk. Hang out. Nothing. But I still think about him every single day. I sometimes still cry over him... It's just wierd. Because even thoguh I hate him for all the pain and betrayl he put me through I miss him like crazy. And I feel like a different person now that he's gone... And I hate it. I want it to go away SO bad. I just don't understand. It took him days to move on. It's been five months and I'm still hurting. Whats wrong with me?? (link)
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Boys often seem to move on more quickly than girls -- and it's also true that a first breakup is very difficult. You might consider investing more in yourself, and who you are, and less in the idea of this lost relationship. What do you like to do? What are you good at? Focus on developing those interests and talents, and you may find you feel less empty, or at least that you have a productive distraction from missing your ex.
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17/f
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over 20 months now. We havent had sex yet, but we have been talking about it recently. I love him to death but I am really upset right now and am not sure how to talk to him about it.
More or less, our relationship is great. Hes everything I could ever want. However, it seems whenever he goes out with a few certain friends that he does whatever he can to upset me. Last night, as a joke he randomly texted me (after not talking to me all day) "So Im going to go get drunk with A and B and go to a strip club. Love you. Bye" Hes just started university so I understand he may want to try new things (drinking is fairly new to him too) but I was just a little hurt by the blatant wording. A half an hour later he told me it was a joke, but by that point I was already a little upset, and I feel bad for getting so upset over something so stupid.
Then around 1am, I get a message saying that he was sorry he couldnt talk at all cause he was playing video games and watching movies with his friends. I was a little annoyed, being woken up for that, and replied back that i understand but with some sarcasm.
He then swore and said he fucked up enough tonight. I was kind of confused, and just asked if he was simply refering to the lack of communication and the mean joke. All he replied was "Ive been a terrible boyfriend tonight..." So I asked him again, and for the next 3 hours I pretty much ended up being worried and upset, asking him to explain. Everytime he did text me back (about once an hour) he sort of changed the subject.
I love him, and I very much doubt he cheated on me or anything. Im more hurt that he could tell I was upset and scared and seemed completely unphased and couldnt be bothered to tell me he just meant cause of the joke and such. I feel asleep around 4am or so, I didnt really hear from him after about 3am, and I told him to let me know when hes awake so I can call him.
I dont want to get into a fight, we dont fight very often, but Im just really angry that he let me stay up and be upset for so long and still hasnt answered my question. How do I tell him this without getting into a fight? I just feel as if when hes with those friends, he tries to say things to upset me, and its getting to the point I really cant take it.
Sorry if this sounded really stupid and childish, I just dont know what to say to him...
Thank You (link)
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The way to talk to him about it ... is to talk to him about it. I know it's hard, but since this is obviously bothering you, you should speak to him about it in a calm, non-confrontational way. You don't have to pick a fight with him, and you don't have to create drama. If this were me, I would say (IN PERSON, not via text): "Hey, you know the other night when you texted me to say you'd been a really bad boyfriend? That confused me; I didn't know what you meant, and I'd like to understand what you were trying to tell me. Can you tell me more about that?"
You don't have to be accusatory; you don't have to make him feel like he's walking into a minefield. But you do deserve an explanation.
It also sounds as if the friends he's with aren't the greatest influence on him, and it seems to me that the texts he sends you are confessional in nature rather than a deliberate attempt to upset you. However, if you are feeling that you are reluctant to trust him, and that he may be seeking new and different experiences which will negatively affect your relationship, please don't start a sexual relationship. That will make it more confusing for you, and harder to end the relationship if it becomes clear that he's not a good emotional investment. You need to be sure you are standing on solid ground before you take that next step. And that means initiating a conversation with him about your concerns. His response will tell you a lot about who he is. If he belittles you, or doesn't take your concerns seriously, you need to consider what you're getting from the relationship. You're only 17, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't make the mistake of getting further involved with a guy if he doesn't respect your feelings.
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17/f
its my senior year, it would have been our one year on october 13th... (hes 18 graduated last year) basically he left me for another girl this september.. & she didnt want him. he came back to me, and i am deeply in love with him.. took him back. things are just different, we got into a deep conversation the other day, he said "were not going to last when you go to college anyways" .. i said "what am i doing with us then?" and he said "were just having a good time untill then" like are you kidding me.. at that moment i ended it. HONESTly i love this boy but am i right or am i wrong. Its hard cause my mind says im right but my heart screams his name and it echos inside me (link)
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Your mind is right. It is very hard to listen to the good judgment of your head when your heart is involved, but in the long run, you will be glad you did. This boy already betrayed you once -- why would you let him do it again? He clearly doesn't have much respect for you, and just wants "a good time." You have the choice to respect yourself, and tell him to have a good time elsewhere. Your instinct is correct. Let him go, and know that there are better things in your future.
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15f
I have a HUGE crush on this guy but he's gay is it possible to turn a gay guy staight and if so how? (link)
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No, it is not possible. If you know for sure he is gay, you need to let it go, and try to move on; there is no future for you with him. Crushes pass. You might consider asking yourself whether you tend to be attracted to guys whom you know are unavailable, and pay attention to that pattern if it exists in your life.
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Do I spit or swallow? (link)
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It doesn't matter what he prefers; it matters what you prefer. This is a very personal decision for any woman; if you don't want to swallow, then don't. Frankly, if you don't want him to ejaculate in your mouth, that's fine too. You can tell when he is about to ejaculate from the pulsing of the shaft, and you can move out of the way at the last minute. By the time he's started, it doesn't make a difference to him, sensation-wise, whether he comes into your mouth or into a wet towel.
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My girlfriend and I have been dating for 8 months. She's a nice girl but I don't have those feelings of love for her. I've been trying to wait it out, thinking that I'd start to feel the magic sometime, but it ain't happening. She's really into me and I'm just not into her. She's nice and all but that's about it. How can I dump my girlfriend without hurting her? I know I need to let my girlfriend down easy but how? (link)
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Perhaps not using the word "dump," even to yourself, would help. You are not dumping her; you are making a realistic assessment of the relationship so you can both move on to better things. There is no way to do this without hurting her, but it's better to do it now than to continue in a situation you know you can't sustain. Be straightforward; don't make excuses, and tell her you want her to be free to find the right relationship. Make sure she knows you are concerned about her happiness as well as your own.
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