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What's the next best thing to a magical potion that cures all your problems? A firari! But, since we can't give you either of those, we're offering you the best advice on the web. When the going get's rough, you gotta keep tough and since that seems to be quite an issue these days (and since we've got enough toughness to go around), icy is the best place for advice!
Disclaimer: If you get stuffed in a trashcan, turned pink, or abducted by aliens, please don't blame us. We only give you advice, we don't force you to actually use it!
PLEASE DO NOT ASK ME WHERE I GOT MY 'CELLPHONE PIC'. I MADE IT MYSELF IN A PROGRAM CALLED PAINT SHOP PRO AND NO, I WILL NOT MAKE ONE FOR YOU. I'M SORRY BUT I'M REALLY BUSY. PLEASE VISIT SURFSUNSANDX33 AND AMERICANGIRL101'S ADVICE COLUMNS. THEY BOTH GIVE REALLY GOOD ADVICE AND ARE MY FRIENDS. PEACE DUDES!
advice
i have this boyfriend or basically did...but ok he broke up with me cause the feelings were there, and he nneeded time to mayb see if they would come back. and then yeah so we went to school and he seen me but didnt say anything and he told my friend that he didnt wanna get to attached cause he has college soon, and he feels really bad and really sorry and stuff and the thing i dont get is he told her"if we were met to be together then we will get back together" so what do u think?
please help ill rate!!
Sorry you're in this situation. I'm pretty sure I know what he means by that. I think he means that if you two were meant to be together, like soul mates, then you would cross paths again. Basically, he wants to let fate has his way. It seems like he still has feelings for you though, he just wants to let your lives run their course and see what happens.
♥ iCY
he showed the side he usually keeps to only his "brothers". it showed me what i'd have to deal with. i wasn't ready to let go, because that sweet caring and surprisingly gentle(if you don't know him) side is SOOO that, he cares for me and loves me sooooo much. he's going to call me in a few days, but i'm pretty sure it's over. i did it because i don't want all these problems happening. he drives a wedge between me and mom, mom drives a wedge between me and him....it just wouldn't work, but idk, we're going to talk about it because he has this weird memory thing, and he forgot what he did that made me feel like i had to break up with him. we will talk it out later, but we won't be bf/gf anymore, we might make it as friends.....i don't know. but yeah, here's your update......comforting would be appreciated.
Kat :(
Thanks babe for letting me know what's going on. I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Sometimes life can be so unfair. My advice to you is to try the friendship thing. That was a very mature move for you to end it. He had to pick his priorites and since you didn't like his job, he had a choice. You seem like a very sweet girl and I only want you to have the best so just keep your head up high. Since there was alot going against you, maybe it wasn't meant to be. I know that there is a Prince Charming out there waiting for you, you just have to find him. Best of luck! I'll always be here for advice, just remember that. Also, I'm sure everything will be okay. Sometimes it just takes someone to say, you'll be alright. It can make a HUGE difference. ♥ iCY
I want to get married. I know im only 14 but still i feel like this guy is right you know? anyways can you help me on what to do and how to get married at the age of 14? Thanks
Hey hun! Well let me start off with a congratulations! It looks like you found your Prince Charming and that must be a great feeling. I know love can make people feel wonderful and want to make all their dreams come true however, 14 is a little young. I bet he's a wonderful guy but hang in there a little longer. Go to school, experience life and if he's the best guy he'll stick with you. Just make sure that you don't let love force you to forget about yourself because you should have commitments and priorities too. If he's Mr. Right then ROCK ON GIRLFRIEND! I wish you the best of luck with him. Although, I don't know how you can get married at age 14, I know you can just have fun dating and being in a relationship and then when you're a tad bit older, you can make a full on commitment. ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
it's metalkat86.... he said he "had" to because when he is at "work" (beating lowlifes, drug dealers and gang members up) i'm his conscience telling him "no, that's illegal, don't do it" and he can't have that right now because he has a lot of work to do. he says he might come back, he just can't handle my voice in his head....of course, you and i know it will still be there, but anyway. do you think i should wait for him a while? idk what to do, we were going to get married in a few years, he was going to propose in a month or so. answer back fast please!!. thanks icy
♥Kat
Sorry you're having a hard time with this. Guys are so complicated. Tell him that you really don't like the work that he does and that you don't understand why he does it. Be honest with him and tell him how much he means to you. It always helps when you talk. Hopefully he'll consider his priorites. Good luck hun and I'm always here if you need any advice! You know that! ♥ iCY
he's coming over today so we can talk about it. idk what will happen, though, but i hope it will be good. i'll keep you posted
Okay hun. I look forward to hearing from you ^^
hey
ok theres this guy and i really like him!!! but he dont like me... and like i wanna no how i can get him to like me. b/c we r like perfect for eachother its not even funny!!!! and he is just so cool and hot and perfect. i dont no why he dont like me though he told my friends that theres nothing wrong with me but obviously there is if he dont like me. can sum one please give me adivce on wat to do about him i like him ALOT!! thanks < i rate >
Guys are complicated because they don't talk about their feelings easily. Only a rare boy will come out and admit he likes someone. There's barely any chance that he would be that forward with your friends so don't give up home. And something doesn't have to be wrong with you for a guy not to have feelings for you. For all I know, you could be the prettiest girl on the planet or the sweetest. It's all about chemistry. The same way that you feel about him, he may not feel that way because he doesn't react to you that way. Maybe it's because you two are so perfect for eachother. Maybe you are better off as friends. However, if you flirt and forget you like him, he might really START to develop feelings for you. Let me elaborate, guys like it when girls can talk to them and be comfortable around them. However, when you like someone, you are usually very self concious around them and what helps for me is to pretend he's just a guy friend. That way you'll be able to communicate better and won't have to worry about getting all nervous. This may be hard and it takes some practice but it should work out just find. Good luck hun! If you ever need any advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
Ok one of my best friends best friend went out with this guy for about 3 months and they broke up about 2 weeks ago. While they were going out I started to like him a little more, and now since they have broken up I like him ALOT. But the problem is I havent ever really talked to him before. He is in 1 of my classes, how do I get him to notice me? Then just a couple of days ago I just found out my best friend likes him and she is the "it" girl of the school like all of the guys like her and everything. And she knows that I like him. Knowing her she is probably ganna ask him out sometime and he is probably going to say yes. what do I do about that too...anyways He is tall cury hair fast runner and hott ( kinda like an abercrombie or some type of modle) lol and I am short blonde blue eyes and ya. Well I would really like some help! thx a bunch!! I rate high*
Here's some insight about friends. When it comes to love, crushes and relationships, they totally disregard what others feel, think, or do. Your friend who is the "it" girl isn't going to care what you do because her goal is to get the guy. Whatever you do, make sure you show confidence around her and don't act threatened. Walk around knowing you have the same amount of chance that she does. In order to get him to notice, talk to him! Since he is in one of your classes, ask him for his screename in case you need help with work at home. Talk to him about stuff that the two of you have in common. You might need to do a little hunting to find out what he likes if you don't know. Ask a close friend who DOESN'T like him and who is comfortable talking to him if you would preffer not to. I know what you are going through. I have a friend that always gets the guy and when I found out she liked the same guy that I did, I paniced. I mean, she's gorgeous, smart and great to talk to. How could he NOT like her? However, I used this in a postive way by being confident and sure about myself. And HEY, I ended up with the guy liking ME. Too bad I don't have feelings for him anymore. Good luck and if you need anymore help, please ask my a question directly at my column because I would love to give you some more advice. ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl who has a problem, guys. I don't have any self-esteem issues so i agree I'm good looking (many guys think so also), I do really well in school (one of the top ranks), and I am devoting most of my school week time to studying, keeping my grades up and preparing for the SAT. However, on weekends I go out, party , socialize, have fun and forget about school work. So i would have to say my life is kind of balanced although I have a lot of school work. This is just some background information. Now, my problems are guys. I have no trouble getting guys interested/attracted to me without even trying. Most of the boys my age, and those a bit older (i tend to get along better with guys who are 2-3 years older) are interested, maybe cause of my looks, I don't know. Something always goes wrong though. I am the type of girl who likes the chase, who likes guys that are harder to get and have something different about them. I don't like to be an ordinary person. I never have serious relationships, and I am kind of glad because I dont want it to interferre with my school work, but it would be nice to date once in a while. I am not gullible or easily deceived, therefore "sweet talks" or any false attempts don't really work with me cause i can see right through it. However, the two past guys i've been interested in HAVE turned out pretty deceiving. First guy I deeply connected, date went well, but in a few days he decided to "ignore" me at one of our get-togethers/parties and kiss somebody else. Of course I would never put up with that, so the very next day when he tried talking to me I told him off. Second guy had been interested in meeting me for quite a while, and after the "1st guy altercation" we met kind of a double date sort of thing. Everything went well and it was extremely fun, until I found out he's been in a VERY serious relationship with someone for quite a while (but they cheat on each other quite often??? i don't get that). I was glad I was able to stop both cases before getting hurt. What really bothers me is the fact that I couldn't realize the way these guys were (i can usually read everyone) and I still can't clearly see it. It really bothers me I was gullible like that, and that I go for these kinds of guys!! What do u think about this? Sorry its extremely long.!
Guys can be such a pain. Especially since they are always doing things to get girlfriends. They are desperate and that's because they have nothing better to do then decieve. Don't be hard on yourself because some guys really spend time trying to get girls. They cook up stories and you're deffinately not the first girl to fall for it. All I can tell you is to become friends with someone first. Once you two are friends, you'll really figure out alot about them and know whether you want to proceed into a relationship. People can seem nice at first impressions but that doesn't mean they won't change later. My friend told me some very wise advice once and that is You Can Take A Risk, or Not Take One, Which Is Actually a Bigger Risk. Don't hold back because you're afraid of going through that again because some guys are really genuine and sweet. It's just the scummy ones that we have to beware of. Good luck and I'm always there if you need any other advice hun. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENING ♥
Me and my girlfriend are going out.We have goten in trouble twice for macking out in school and people are spreading rumors about us . We both want to stay yo gether but its going in the back of our mind that we want to break it off too. We also cant hangout with each other.I dont think its fair to the both of us . should i break it off or try to keep the relationship
Talk to her about it. Usually when I give people advice, I reccomend communication. Why? Well, talking to people gets both sides of the problem out and often helps bring out the solution. That way feelings are stated and put together like a puzzle. Ask your girlfriend if you guys can talk this out. Since I'm a girl, I know that girls like to bottle up their feelings so once you talk to her, I bet your girlfriend will have alot to say so be patient and listen closely. Assure her that you won't get mad about it and make sure she makes the same promise to you. Trust is also a big issue. Then discuss how you feel, why you want to break away, and what the result would be. If you need anymore advice, feel free to ask me directly at my column. ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
Okay..well theres a guy im going out with and its been a month and a half and well, i need to know a way i can break up with him, and well ive seen many questions like this asked before, plz dont tell me to tell him the truth..becuz everyone is saying that, all i need is to know what i should say to him but in a way where he wont hate me because we go back..we are good friends and im afraid if i break up with him it wont be the same :( but ill rate high!
Plzz just gie me some ideas.
Signed, confused4life
xoxo
Dear confused4life,
I had to go through the same situation. Friendships are precious things and sometimes the fear that relationships will ruin them pressure people into making bad decisians. Tell him you value him as a friend and that he's like a brother to you. Tell him that you liked it when the two of you could hang out without you worrying how your hair looks or what you're wearing. Tell him you know he deserves better (even though that's probobly not true because I'm sure you're great). Guys like it when girls like us tell them they mean alot to us even if we're dumping them. Play it cool and tell him this was the hardest decisian you've ever made but it had to be done. If you ever need any other advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
my boyfriends ex IMed me the other day and we started talking...shes really nice and stuff but i know she still likes my boyfriend...she says she doesnt but i know she does...and like she said he broke her heart and she just wants to be friends now and so she asked me to talk to him and just say that she sayd hi and i did and like they made up now...my boyfriend is over her and stuff but she flirts with him now...(she lives 45 minutes away now so she cant see him in person) but like on his myspace she is like hey ur sooooo hott and all this stuff and always putting little hearts on it and then she puts "j/k" but shes not!! i know it!! its pissing me off too...and she like always tells me "about the sweet things he did for her when they were togther"....what can i do about this??
Ignore her if you have to. People like that have evil up their sleeve and most of the time, smart people like YOU can spot it. It's pretty clear that, like you said, she still likes him and for some reason it looks like she's really trying to rub it in your face. You could either talk to her about it which would be the smart thing to do but it might be kind of scary. Just tell her that you are with him now and it's clear that she likes him and you don't want to be bothered with the past. Say this nicely so she isn't offended by it though because when communication is put to use, sometimes people's feelings can be hurt. Do the right thing and if you can't talk to her, just ignore her. If you need anymore advice, please ask me a question directly at my column because I would love to help out anytime. ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
i went with this kid and i broke up with him cuz it wasnt working but now he got a new g.f. and im so sad i dunno wut to do i wunt him back..help wu should i say to him wut should i do?
First of all, make sure you really want him back. Sometimes seeing an ex with a new love can make you have the impulse to want him back. My advice is to make sure these feelings are real and not triggered by the fact that he has moved on. Talk to him about it and ask him if he would ever consider getting back with you but only do this if you think this is all real. Make sure you don't give him anything or do anything just to win him back because there's a reason it wasn't working out before. Don't try to push something to happen that really can't. Good luck and hopefully if it doesn't work out with him, there will be someone else. If you ever need any other advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column because iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
I thought that my now ex-boyfriend didn't like me any more so i broke up with him but I still really liked him. Then I went to a party and he was there and we really didn't talk to eachother untill they played the first slow song and he came up and just grabbed my hand and pulled me to the dance floor and we started slow dancing. Then when that song was over i was just like okay... but then they played Alicia Keys "if i aint got u" and so we kept dancing and he looked me in the eyes and was like i still love you and i was like i love you too... and then everyone started counting down for the new year and before it was 12:00 he kissed me and was like "last kiss of 2004" and then when it turned 12:00 he kissed me and was like "and first kiss of 2005" and i felt like it was my first kiss all over again. But later when i talked to him he was like I think we should wait a while before we go back out because I always just come back to you... but the thing is that i really really love him and i want to get him back now... what should i do to show him how much i love him and for him to ask me back out... should i just ask him out? before i broke up with him we had been dating for 5 months... i don't know what to do I'm so confused
Sounds like you have found prince charming and you're his princess. That sounds like a magical night and if I were you, I wouldn't throw that all away. Since you were the one that broke up with him, you should be the one to make the move. Tell him you want to restart up the relationship again because you really love him. He was probobly upset when you ended the relationship but it really sounds like it's meant to be. Communication is the key to love. Talk to him about your feelings, why you ended things, why you want to get back together and what plans you have for the future. I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need any more advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
A couple weeks ago, I had a dream that my guy friend kissed me. I woke up not wanting it to stop and I was really mad that it was just a dream. I started to think that maybe I had feelings for him just a bit and when I saw him a few days after that I was acting all weird and shy. I dunno what I should do. I'm too scared to talk to him!
xxx Keely
It deffinetly sounds like you have a crush on your guy friend. Maybe you should talk to him and ask him if he ever thought the two of you would make a good couple or if there would ever be and "us". Communication is really the best way to solve problems. Just like you communicated with advicegivers, you should communicate with him about your feelings, hopes, and worries. That's what friends are for! I hope it all works out for you and if you ever need any advice, feel free to ask me a question directly at my column. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG
Dear Icy, I have a boyfriend witch i havnt talk to him for like EVER his like MIA anyway i dont think i like him anymore its like the spark is gone ya know? Im just worried that its not going to work out between us and that hes going to get hurt because he knows i like him lets call my boyfriend J. ok well it all started when J asked me out and i said ok then i asked my friend to tell him that its not going to work then a couple days later J asked me out again which was the 21 of december and i said yes and then its now the 3 of january and i havnt heard from him in a long time and im worried and now the spark is gone between me and J. Well ive had a crush on this guy lets call him Captian Crunch well ive liked CAptian Crunch for about 2and a 1/2 years. heres the story about him. I liked him then got over him then he started liking me and then he aslo likes me and the he went away for the summer and forgot about liking me and he is 14 and im 12 and im just depressed now cuz my life sucks parents are getting devorsed and mom has a stupid boyfriend which i hate and dad has girlfriend and on friday it should all be over. But the only thing is that my boyfriend is MIA i like a guy who probley will never like me again. My parents are getting divorsed, we are losing alot of money barley have any and my twin brother and i dont share the same friend ship any more. Im just dipressed and i need some advice! sorry for the length of this letter. I will rate 5 thanks
messed up girl
Have you ever heard the saying "Life is like a roller coaster"? It sounds like your rollercoaster just took a detour and is heading downhill. Do you have to get off or can you hang on for the ride? As for your boyfriend, things happen. I doubt anything BAD happened, perhaps he's sick or busy with school. If it helps, give him a call. If you're too nervous, have a friend give him a call with you. Things are always better when there's a friend around ;]. Now, for Captain Crunch, we've all been in that situation before. Not necessarily the exact same one but I know that most girls today have liked a guy and then had trouble letting go of him. I'm sorry to say but you're are probobly right about J. Perhaps your feelings for him are not strong enough to drown out those lingering "tinglies" for Captain Crunch. If it helps, talk to J about it. Since he's your boyfriend, he should understand. I've never gone through a divorse or one of my parents having another relationship but all I can tell you is to be open minded. Even if it seems like you seem something in this new person that nobody else does, it is something you cannot change. If you have already tried confronting your mom and dad about it and they are not responded in the way that you wish, just sit tight and try to get along with their new found loves. Be open and kind like I know you truely are. Treat them as if they were new editions to your family. Speaking of a twin, I really wouldn't know because I'm an only child. I know that I have a friend that is like a brother that I really am not close with AT ALL since he got a "fan club" of older girls that follow him around but that's nothing compared to you because you have spent your whole life with him. Talk to him about it. That's all I know since I don't have a sibling let alone a twin which I can imagine is an amazing bond. Good luck and whatever you do, don't result to self-inflicted injury or even consider suice. Your life is precious and you are a unqique person. There are people that wouldn't be able to live without you and people that love you dearly. If you ever need any more advice, I will be here for you. Feel free to drop me a question anytime.
my dad lives in washington state. i live in south Cali. it might help a bit, my bf likes my dad, but with the distance it won't do much. thanks for helping me
Kat
Wait, let's not give up yet. I really want this to work out because it sounds like you really love your boyfriend and I don't want your parents to stop your Happily Ever After. Like I said, talk to your mom and boyfriend and if that doesn't work, follow your heart. If you go with your instinct, your good because 3/5 times you'll be right. Life and love are about risk, trust, loyalty and fate. Now that you have found that one that you are willing to trust and be loyal to, it's time to take the chance and risk it all to protect your own fate. Good luck hun! You can always come and ask me for love/friendship advice... or on anything for that matter!
well, i basically have told he that and she just looks past it and says that she and dad were "different", and that he just is different, he had a bad upbringing, and he lives in a bad neighborhood, and she's worried that i'll fall into his little "underworld" and slip through the cracks. i'm just annoyed as hell because i have tried just about everything to show her that he's not a bad guy. any more advice? thanks alot, icy :}
Kat
Sounds like your mom is being very stubborn and stuck in her ways and that's natural for parents because they are very worried about their kids' wellfair. Just remember that your mom is looking out for you because you loves you. If you can, try working on your dad. It's hard to talk to parents because sometimes it seems like they really don't want to listen. If you have to, talk to your boyfriend about it. Like I said before, communication can go a long way and if you talk to him about your feelings, the two of you can work together in what you are going to do. Luckily, since you two are so close you can be a team in this and get through this together. If it helps, maybe your parents could meet his parents and build a relationship there. Bonding will also be helpful. Good luck! Remember: ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
I am a girl and 13 and i'm obsessed with a 41 year old actor, (Johnny Depp). Is this a bad thing to want to be with a man that much older than I am?
Yes hun it's totally fine. Alot of girls are in love with older actors because they are really goodlooking. It's not that you are going to be attracted to older people, it's just that you think they look great on screen. No worries, it's natural like I think Ben Affleck is like whoa but it's just because I'm an average teenage girl. ;] And yes, Johnny Depp is quite good looking, I must admit. If you need any advice, feel free to ask me a question. Remember: ♥ iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENiNG ♥
16/f
So I really like this guy and I want to talk to him about us... a lotta people who hang out with us think he likes me too... but I just don't know. I want to talk to him about it but I don't know how to bring it up without sounding really forward. I also don't want to mess up our friendship if he ends up not liking me. I don't want things to get weird when we hang out if I tell him I like him and then he doesn't like me back... so I guess I just want ideas on how to bring it up and talk about it and what I can do maybe to flirt more with him and things. I already flirt a lot with him... but more ideas might help.
-Karen
I can totally relate because I've been in this similar situation many times. Since you guys are close, ask him casually "do you think there would ever been an 'us'"? This will sort of give him a hint but also let him know that you are thinking more towards the long run then really soon. It will probobly make him start thinking about you as more than a friend if he hasn't already. This is the first step and it will work extremely well especially since you already have a feeling that he might have feelings for you. This is also really good since it exercises your communication skills with him and it will help the two of you grow closer if you find the ability to talk to him about things like this, even if it feels kind of weird at first. Good luck and if you ever need any other advice, feel free to ask me, because iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENING ♥
he's already had dinner with my mom, he's met my dad, he's MADE dinner for me and mom (he had to leave b4 he could eat with us, though) my grandparents haven't even met him, they just know about him from what i've told mom or them. the other thing about him is he can be really sarcastic and cynical, and he'd probably just say some stupid asshole comment instead of having to "probe himself" to my family. and his whole job thing is a big issue for them. he can say he has big hopes all he wants, but they aren't going to hear him, they only think he's gonna hold me back from going to college and graduating and living in a nice house, etc. they seem really closed off to him no matter how many times i tell them he's really a good guy. although i thank you for your advice, it wouldn't work because his pride gets in the way and he feels that doing what you suggested would be "proving himself" to my family, and he thinks that he shouldn't have to do that, because he treats me very well and only wants the best for me, and will help me get to it by any means necessary. i'm just so confused that i don't know what i'm gonna do. any more advice icy?
it'd be greatly appreciated. oh, and you can email me at metalkat86@hotmail.com if you want, thanks a million
Kat
I completely understand how it is. Pride is a big thing for guys. If you know that he's all for your success in the world, maybe it's time for you and your mom to have some mother/daughter time and discuss your life. Remind your mom of the time when she met your dad and went she felt so in love and happy. Tell her that that's exactly how you feel now. Sometimes, it's better to communicate with the problem and be direct about it. Love is a big thing and since he means so much to you, just be honest with your mother. Moms can be pretty understanding even when they seem like they won't be. Just have a meal with her and talk to her. Open up and tell her everything. Hopefully things will work out. Good luck hun and remember that you can always contact me here @ icy advice. ;]