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Hello, I'm a 17 year old girl who has a problem, guys. I don't have any self-esteem issues so i agree I'm good looking (many guys think so also), I do really well in school (one of the top ranks), and I am devoting most of my school week time to studying, keeping my grades up and preparing for the SAT. However, on weekends I go out, party , socialize, have fun and forget about school work. So i would have to say my life is kind of balanced although I have a lot of school work. This is just some background information. Now, my problems are guys. I have no trouble getting guys interested/attracted to me without even trying. Most of the boys my age, and those a bit older (i tend to get along better with guys who are 2-3 years older) are interested, maybe cause of my looks, I don't know. Something always goes wrong though. I am the type of girl who likes the chase, who likes guys that are harder to get and have something different about them. I don't like to be an ordinary person. I never have serious relationships, and I am kind of glad because I dont want it to interferre with my school work, but it would be nice to date once in a while. I am not gullible or easily deceived, therefore "sweet talks" or any false attempts don't really work with me cause i can see right through it. However, the two past guys i've been interested in HAVE turned out pretty deceiving. First guy I deeply connected, date went well, but in a few days he decided to "ignore" me at one of our get-togethers/parties and kiss somebody else. Of course I would never put up with that, so the very next day when he tried talking to me I told him off. Second guy had been interested in meeting me for quite a while, and after the "1st guy altercation" we met kind of a double date sort of thing. Everything went well and it was extremely fun, until I found out he's been in a VERY serious relationship with someone for quite a while (but they cheat on each other quite often??? i don't get that). I was glad I was able to stop both cases before getting hurt. What really bothers me is the fact that I couldn't realize the way these guys were (i can usually read everyone) and I still can't clearly see it. It really bothers me I was gullible like that, and that I go for these kinds of guys!! What do u think about this? Sorry its extremely long.!
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hey i think you should just chill for a while with no b/f. any of the guys-- you like or you did like-- time and space, they will eventually come around. in the mean time, dont worry so much about being gullible, just blow that off and not let it bother you.. you know youve found the right guy when you can trust him and he doest trick you like that. i hope i helped! xoxox sara
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Guys are un predictable. One minute they've got you eating out of the palm of your hand then the next their with someone else. Your going to be let down like this a lot in life. It happens to every girl. I think you've just gotta keep your head up and look for someone different from the other guys. Not a guy who likes to chat with other girls a little too much. If you know any of his friends ask them if he has a history of cheating or anything. They should give you a straight up answer. If he still hurts you, then he's a jerk. You deserve a lot better than that. One day you'll find Mr. Right, just keep looking. If you find a nice, down to earth guy he shouldn't interfere with your school work. =)
♥ lAuRa
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That was one of my problems. I thought myself to be a discerning person and never doubted my instinct when it came to guys to date/love. However, I found myself in 2 really bad relationships right in a row. I can blame the second one on the "rebound" theory but really it was my own fault. I was 21, they were both 28. I fell hard for the first one and unfortunately slept with him, giving him my most precious gift as a woman. Shortly after that he decided that he wanted to start dating other people but to keep me on a leash of sorts, letting me be his fallback girlfriend. As much as I wanted to resist him I couldnt due to my feelings for him that were still as strong after the breakup as they were when we were together. I met and started dating number 2 several months later and things went from bad to worse. Both of these guys were in the process of getting a divorce, number 2 leaving me to go back to his wife (I also didnt know while we were dating that his wife was pregnant - big shock for me). The whole point of me sharing this sob story is that we are all guilty at one time or another of falling for the wrong guy because we look at them with our heart (desires) and not our mind. If you stop to think about it, deep down you probably knew better just as I did but neither of us listened to that little voice. This doesnt make you a bad judge of character, it just makes you human. The thing that really worked for me (I am now married to a wonderful Christian man and am now a Christian myself, in my eyes our marriage is perfect)is to be friends with the guys that you are interested in first. I know that may sound trite but it really does work. If you are friends first you know their bad habits, their past, their likes and dislikes, their family.....just everything that you should know about a guy before dating him. You can see what he is like all of the time (instead of the masks that people wear when a relationship is new) before you date and possibly ward off a horrible breakup in the future because if you cannot be friends with him you cannot date him. If he does anything that would really get on your nerves but you still like him as a person, keep the friendship and avoid dating. I say that because that one little thing that is completely annoying can turn into the reason for the split later on. Picking guys up at parties, in bars or the like rarely ever works out because your first attraction is physical and usually, there is very little else to go on. Be picky about who you go out with. Set standards and do not budge from them (this would of course exclude a standard of only dating multi-millionaires). Instead of acting on your first impression, wait and let him show you what he really stands for. First impressions are often wrong (again the desires concept). Also, dont expect yourself to be right all of the time. You are human and allowed to be wrong occasionally. I hope that this very long winded answer did answer your question. Contact me anytime. Best Wishes!
P. S. All women are attracted to bad boys. I dont know why though if I did I could make major mulah. Keep that information tucked inside of your mind and hold it up against the next guy that you are attracted to. Ask yourself, what is my attraction based on?
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hey i would really like to answer your question... but i didn't really understand what i was trying to answer...so i understand about all of your altercations and i understand all of that... but when you get this just mail me back and tell me what you would like advice for... just give me a sentence or two... ok thanks a lot...i really wanna help
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Guys can be such a pain. Especially since they are always doing things to get girlfriends. They are desperate and that's because they have nothing better to do then decieve. Don't be hard on yourself because some guys really spend time trying to get girls. They cook up stories and you're deffinately not the first girl to fall for it. All I can tell you is to become friends with someone first. Once you two are friends, you'll really figure out alot about them and know whether you want to proceed into a relationship. People can seem nice at first impressions but that doesn't mean they won't change later. My friend told me some very wise advice once and that is You Can Take A Risk, or Not Take One, Which Is Actually a Bigger Risk. Don't hold back because you're afraid of going through that again because some guys are really genuine and sweet. It's just the scummy ones that we have to beware of. Good luck and I'm always there if you need any other advice hun. iCY iS ALWAYS LiSTENING ♥
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