E-mail:
colleen_4@cox.netGender:
FemaleLocation:
Rhode IslandOccupation:
Hostess/bus girlAge:
17AIM:
xcolleenx4Member Since:
October 11, 2007Answers:
51Last Update:
April 3, 2009Visitors:
5044Favorite Columnists
ChevyIINova
sugarplum07
Main Categories:
Love Life
General Sex Questions
Mental health
View All
about
I'm laid back and extremely open minded. I love photography, music, and travelling. I value honesty and good friendship more than anything. My motivational drive in life is thrill. I'm one of those spur of the moment kind of people; always looking for adventure. Most importantly, I'm always willing to help :)
advice
Whenever a guy calls me pretty, or hot, or even cute I feel really insecure about myself. It annoys me more than anything and I would just rather them notice that I'm funny, or that I'm nice or something. Almost like..I have nothing else thats attractive to you? Anyone else get what I'm talking about? I'm 16 and I've asked my friends and they say NO THAT'S A COMPLIMENT! HE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE!
I'd rather they just not say anything. I feel insecure being around guys that tell me I'm good looking because I feel like if I'm not looking so great at that moment, I have nothing to offer. Do all guys think that girls want to hear "You're hot" because quite frankly, I get distant from guys who say things like that to me.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Wow I know exactly how you feel. The thing is that I'm friends with mostly guys. And I feel the same way, whenever they don't happen to say something, I automatically assume I look bad and that I have nothing else to offer. But it's not true. I've had talks with my friends about this because it bothered me. What they said, and I believe it to be true, is that they wouldn't say it if they weren't attracted to a girl's personality as well. Beauty comes from personality, it really does. They wouldn't bother telling you you're good looking or hot or pretty if you were a nasty person, because they wouldn't want to waste their time. "You're hot" is just something they think to say, they don't mean to offend you. So just try to take it in stride and know that you have more than just looks. Even from what you just said in your question/explanation, you seem like a very admirable person.
me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and i love her sooo much you know it wasn't that first sight love it was that first kiss that made my world change just that first kiss and all of a sudden she doesn't love me for no reason after she has done everything bad to me and all i have done is love her, her friends hate me and put things in her head all the time, i just want to take her and leave and be alone and happy forever just the 2 of us and just start a new life i love her and i dont know what to do i have done everything she has asked lost firends everything you can think possible and now i have nothing but her i just don't know what to do
Hey, I'm sorry you have to go through this :( you seem like a great guy. My question is, how do you know she doesn't love you anymore? If she's just saying it, it might just be because she's scared. Since her friends "hate" you, it may be that you two were spending too much time together. Maybe you took her away from her friends and they hated that. I dont mean to jump to conclusions, but if that's the case, you two still need outlets and other friends to hang out with often. She might feel trapped, and the more and more her friends tell her bad stuff, the more she's going to want to stray away from you. That is my guess, I think she still loves you. My advice would be to have a serious talk with her. Take her out on a romantic date, tell her how you feel as sincerely as you can, and tell her you can accomodate to her wants and needs. That's if you want to. Good luck hun!
im 16/f
he is 19
when we went out i was 14. he was my first boyfriend and it lasted 4 months and i started to lose the spark in the relationship. i loved him but i didnt like him anymore if that made sense. i think the stress of everyone thinking he was too old for me and being so judgemental about it just made me not want to have to deal with it anymore so i told him "i have to talk to you" and he said "i have to talk to you first" and i told him to go first and he told me that there was another girl who told him she liked him and he had always liked her and he said he would absolutely stay with me and tell her to back off if i wanted to stay together but with all the stress i broke it off. within an hour he was going out with this other girl. realizing i truly did still love him i flipped out on him because i felt like he didnt care. i think i had an understandable reason to be upset....it was only an hour! we ended up getting into this big screaming fight and we didnt talk for a year and a half. then one day he texted me. i had no idea he still had my number becasue when we were going out he didnt have a cell phone so its not like he had it saved in there. so that was around christmas time and we've just been talking ever since. by the way he's still going out with the girl "he left me for" (i dont know what else to call it). so we gradually started talking more and more and now we talk about twice a day. still texting because he's shy and would probably have a heart attack if he called me.
so on to the real situation. in the 4 or 5 months that we've been talking to each other its just like all my other friendships except that i havent seen him in two years and we dont talk about our relationship and our girlfriends/boyfriends. even though i've been single ever since. so today he says "i have a question" and he asked if i thought it was weird that we can have such a good relationship after having a serious dating relationship and then a heated break up and i said it was fine and i enjoy having someone to talk to. the conversation kept going and now he's going to visit me at work while im on break which im excited about but nervous all at the same time. and he said he was excited too. then we started talking about our relationship and how we were so shy that we barely talked to each other in the begining and how i was the first and only girl (to this day) that he ever had butterflies for. and then we started talking about the break up and he told me that for a week he didnt care that we broke up but then after that week he totally broke down and realized what had happened and what he lost. even while he had this new girlfriend who he had always liked. and he thought i didn't care that we broke up and i "didnt give a F***" so i told him that i had loved him a lot and i really did care when we broke up and it took me a year to get over it.
im just wondering why someone would say this. and take two years to say it. and why would they say this, to their ex girlfriend after being with a girl for two years???
i'm not sure what to make of the situation. i wasn't expecting this at all!!
Guys do stuff like this all the time and from what I've read, he doesn't seem really trustworthy. Sometimes boys get sick of their girlfriends so they look for other girls or make sure they have some kind of an outlet to spice up their life. You know what I mean? Girls get this feeling too. Especially if he's around 17-18. I'm actually going through this right now. He's probably just looking for excitement and trying to see if he can get you back. It boosts his confidence and makes him feel good about himself knowing that he could possibly get you back. It adds something to his life, ya know?
Its up to you if you want to rekindle the relationship, but if you do, make sure he's really changed. If not, just make sure you're on the same page. Don't be exclusive with him. You don't want to get hurt again.
my bf has the most respect for me and hes really sweet. i just don't think he thinks im sexy. other "sexy" girls grab his attention easily. is there any way i can do the same and make him only pay attention to me? i just want him to think "wow ive never seen her like that before" and think of me in a sexy way. without losing the respect of course.
i need help and ideas!!!
p.s. im seeing him this weekend.
f/16
Say a lot of sexually suggestive things, but if you don't want to actually act sexual, make sure you don't lead him onto think that you do. Talk with your eyes. Make sexy faces. Body language is everything. Get close to him when you talk, touch his face or his stomach. Grab or stroke his arm when you talk to him. Compliment and flatter him. Do not be annoying or complain too much, this will just attract him to other girls immediately. When you're around other people or in a group of friends, slightly come onto him and tell him you want him. He will be dying until he gets you alone.
16/f
this guy.
we talk like every night on the phone
the most weve talked was from 10 pm to 4 am or so
this is how it goes.
weve never told each other that we like each other
well
he gave me a poem that said he loved me
i never really responded to that.
is that bad? =\
i tell him that this bitchy girl wanting to hook up with him makes me really mad and jealous.
he stopped talking to her.
he always makes me feel better
and then at our dance we danced every slow song and every fast song together. and during one slow song he made a joke about this girl and i let go of him but he pulled me into him and i like melted. and i was like oh you have no idea how many stories i could tell you about that and he said if theyre not about you i dont want to hear them
hes great, but hes a male. (no offense boys)
i want to know if hes playing me
because it seems way to good to be true that hed like me
im not exactly the hottest girl ever
but he tells me that im attractive and that he likes to talk to me
does he like me or not??
whats a casual way of finding out without flat asking?>
Wow I'm jealous. That's the kinda of guy I've been looking for. He definitely likes you! If he didn't think you were attractive or wasn't attracted to you then he wouldn't be wasting his time with you. Guys don't typically like to talk on the phone, so if he talks for 6 hours then he's really really into you. Go for it but take it slow.
23/f
Ok I have this friend Terry (26). He is a very good friend and we always have fun hanging out. And yes I do have a crush on him. We flirt all the time but it is always ALL talk. We can about literally anything. I can talk about guys and he won’t bad mouth them and it is the same when he talks about girls. Sure of course there is a twinge of jealousy when someone tries to get in the picture, but I don’t do anything about it. That is just not right. I want him to be happy. I know I have to give it time if it is meant for me and him. Sometimes I feel that it is right there in front of us but neither one of us is blind to it. Well I thought I would make a little effort on new yrs eve. My friends and I were out bowling having a lot of fun. I thought it would be cute and bought this cheesy mistletoe. Last day out of the year to get away with something like that. My friends got a kick out of it. (FYI I am sober throughout this whole thing) I also ran into Terry at the alley too and said he was going to have some people over at his house and that me and my friends were invited to come along. Well I wanted to get there before midnight but my friends just took a little longer then I wanted them too. We got there just a matter of minutes afterwards when everyone is rushing outside to light off the firecrackers. I wanted to wish Terry a happy new yr, just was a little too hard with so many people around. I finally was able to stop him in the kitchen and I had the mistletoe. I thought it was a clever little trick to be able to kiss him. And it did work; also that it was new yrs too. I felt very proud of myself too, that I took a little initiative. And we went on with the evening like nothing had happen.
Well.... turns out, there was a girl that didn't know that was kind of with him. She was almost always around him. At first I figured it was one of these young little girls (teenagers) that do have a tendency to follow him around since he is attractive. Well that was until I saw them sitting on the couch holding hands and cuddling. I felt like such a fool. If I had known they were together that night I respectively would not have tried anything. I know when to not step on toes even when it does happen to me. So I mentally tell myself, “ok I have to back off, and let it be” So the next night I am at our Tuesday karaoke Night which we always go to. Terry is there and the girl wasn’t. But we didn’t do anything out the ordinary. We still continued to banter and flirt back and forth like nothing was different, because it wasn’t. I few of us went up to his house since it was up the street. While most were down stairs, I was alone with Terry upstairs and we were talking and I made the effort to apologize for the night before for kissing him not knowing he was technically there with someone. He told me not to be, since they weren’t actually together and the girl ( her name was Jenny20 yrs old) was very needy, moving too fast and that she lived in Sacramento and had come up to see him for the night. Also said that he thought it was very cute and that he had liked the kiss.
Now what I need to know is what should I do about this? Should I just let things take their course? Should I forget about it? Am I in the right to be feeling like this? This has never happen between us. He is always telling me about these girls that like him but he doesn’t really want to start anything with them, since his last relationship really hurt him, but then he is looking for Mrs. Right and not Miss right now. And he does tell this to the girls and they seem to kind of leave the picture, not even wanting to be a friend, yet I know well enough to keep being his friend. You think he is trying to tell me something and I am not taking it in all the way? I don’t really think he is trying to play me because he does look out for me and has not tried anything. I know this is very silly but it is still something on my mind. Any advice would be great. Thanks for making it through all this.
You two obviously have something great, even if you're just friends. But I personally think that he IS trying to tell you something more. It sounds to me like he has feelings for you. He might want to be with you.
It sounds like you would like to be with him too. If you do, I would suggest taking things really really slowly. Keep at the same pace you are right now. I don't know what you guys do when you hang out, but if you ever hang out alone, ask him to go do something cute like ice skating or something. It's still winter and it's a season that people want to be close with others. You might get another chance to kiss him, and maybe the kiss will mean something more and last longer.
I think that after one more kiss, he might come out and tell you that he wants to be with you.
In some cases, best friends can make awesome boyfriends, and this sounds like one of those cases. I think there is something more there.
I hope everything works out :)
Ok well me and my girlfriend went to a casino for new years with her mom and her mom's boyfriend. We were alone the whole time and decided we wanted to have sex. So we found a family restroom there and went in it and locked the door. Well we started making out, the usual, got undressed. Then a little after that someone was banging on the door yelling open the door and shit so we panicked and put our clothes on then waited a minute and got out of there. Well we didnt see anyone waiting to get in so we went back in there. And tried again, we decided to keep most of our clothes on in case someone tried to get in again. Well a little after we got in the bathroom again and i was hard i put the condom on but i couldnt keep the erection for long. so i took the condom off and she sucked me to get me hard again but it didnt last long after that stopped and our only condom was wasted. a little later someone else banged on the door sayin open up and we got scared again, got our clothes on and left. Well i was basically wondering as to why it was hard for me too keep my erection. I dont know if this has anything to do with it but before we went in i really had to go pee. So was it just the nerves of me neing afraid of getting caught and in trouble or did having a full bladder might have to do with it also? idk please help me i dont want my girlfriend to think it was her fault. by the way i'm 17 and she is 16. PLEASE HELPPP
It's definitely because you were nervous. You can't be interrupted that many times and be completely chill about it. Don't worry :)
Hi, I really hope you can help; i've gotten mixed responses from others...
Basically, my BF discovered that in my senior year of college (I graduated last year) I had taken two semesters worth of judo classes and he thought this was really funny b/c I don't look like, I guess, a "typical" jock chick--that is i'm not muscular or buff or whatever...i'm your stereotypical "girly girl" in appearance--tall, skinny, blond hair, blah blah blah and I'm like 125 lbs....so he's laughing at me, calling me "judogirl", etc., and I was fine w/all that, if a little annoyed, but then he made a mistake: he challenged me to a wrestling match...and I beat him.
He outweighs me by like 40 lbs. and is pretty strong but he didn't understand that my judo skills would use his strength against him and he just couldn't believe I won. I figured it was a one-time deal, but he was so bent out of shape that he's challenged me several times since then, and I've defeated him every time. It would be OK if he didn't take it so seriously, but he just becomes this mean pouty jerk when he loses and keeps challenging me and now i've refused to wrestle him b/c it's no fun and I hate his sexist attitude as well. But refusing to wrestle just makes him angrier and he says stuff like "you're just afraid i'll figure out your 'tricks' and win...it's so annoying!
I've considered just faking it and letting him win but I don't REALLY want to do that b/c I'm proud of my skills, and just wish he would be too...plus when he baits me w/all this "you're just a girl" crap, it gets my goat and i'm more than happy to throw him to the floor and pin him when he gets too tired to fight me off...
Have you ever beaten a boy at something athletic--whether martial arts or sports--or know a girl who has? B/c maybe if I can tell him he's not the only one he won't feel so bad...
Thank you for calling me pretty :)
It's funny because I'm actually really athletic too. I don't play sports anymore because I don't have time in high school because of my job, but I've always been really good at basketball and football. No boys ever believed me when I would say that I could throw and catch better than at least half the guys in the school. The thing is, it's true. But they would never give me the chance to prove it. They're way too scared. They think they have to be all macho and bigger and better than girls. So if a big girl beats them, they'd say something like "Oh well she's not your normal girl". But if a girl like you and me at 125 pounds beats them, they get all upset haha.
But yeah, I've beaten a guy at basketball. Also arm wrestling a couple of times. I dunno why they get so worked up, it's just a thing guys have. He probably won't stop bothering you which sucks :/
And good for you for beating him :)
okay, so this may end up being a tad bit long, but bear with me pleasee :]
ok, so there is this kid at school, and i dont exactly "like him" pursay, but i think i might be starting to.
i dont really have any experience in relationships, but im good with helping friends out and crap. so i really need some help in seeing if this kid likes me or not. i mean i asked my friends, but they usually just assume the best to make me feel better, so it helps to have someones point of view that i dont know.
ok well heres the story,theres this kid, lets call him billy. so me and billy really never talked before, but we knew of each other, you know what i mean? well he was going out with a friend of mine, whos dating him right after billy and her best friend broke up, so i hope you get that shes dating her best friends ex, which is billy. so they were going out and stuff for a while, and me and him started talking.
well eventually they broke up, they didnt last too long. and we kept talking. well we have lunch together, and i sit with his ex at lunch. so we all have lunch together and i walk with billy after study hall on the way too lunch.
well a few days ago, after this school thing, he ended up being behind me, and we started talking. then we were going through a busy hallway and he sort of grabbed me by the hips and led me through. im not sure if thats flirting or what?
we always see each other in the hallway and he stops to talk to me. at another school function, we were talking for a while, and he wanted to give me a hug, i told him i had to go so he said just a really quick hug, and i was like okayy whatever. so he grabbed me and squeezed me really tight and wouldnt let go. it felt really good for some reason, like i wanted it to happen. it felt really nice because ive been distancing myself from guys for a while.
i cant tell if he likes me or not. like i walk down the hallway and see him, but i look out of the corner of my eye at him, you know like not looking at him but seeing him. well i always see him see me, no matter what and he always playfully punches me. its really cute and stuff, but im not sure if he does this with every girl.
so i need some help, do you think he likes me? and do you think his ex/my friend would be really mad at me if i dated him? andd i need something more to talk about with him, now that i think he likes me i starve for words haha.
hes also kind of a player. hes good to his girlfriend when hes dating them, but when they break on he moves on really fast. is that bad?
thanks so much to whoever read that and actually cared :]
It sounds like he likes you! The thing that makes me think he does is the whole hug thing. He sounds cute.
Talk to your friend about dating him if it gets to that point. I don't think she'd mind since they didn't date for very long at all. I know my friends would be at least somewhat cool with it. If you really like him and she's a good enough friend, she'll understand.
It is kinda bad that he moves on so quickly from girls. That might mean that he's just looking for anyone to occupy his time. That might be bad. Or maybe it's not like that. If you genuinely like each other and you started dating, I'm sure he wouldn't move on that that fast. So don't really worry about that.
I can't help you with what to say because I have the same problem. It's always different once feelings are involved. The only advice I can give you on that is to try to make the convos longer. If he brings something up, don't answer with "yes" and "no"s. Elaborate.
I hope things work out for you! You guys sound like you'd make a cute couple.
I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I care about him alot. With the Christmas season here he has been having to work about 60 hours a week with no days off(since about the begining of November). Now all we do is fight. I know it is because he is stressed and exhausted and I never feel like I get to see him; I also know that it will get back to normal after holiday season calms down in about a month. I just don't know what to do to make him not hate me for fighting with him all of the time. I don't want us to break up but I don't know how to calm my mood swings and fighting so he won't get tired of me. Please help... I have been so depressed because of this.
Just try really hard not to fight with him. If you happen to talk on the phone, bring up things you know he likes. Compliment him, make him feel good. Find time to see each other, there must be some time, even if its for 30 minutes before he goes to work. Seeing each other just that little bit will hopefully put some spark back into the relationship and he'll be dying to spend some actual time with you. Once he stops working so much and you can spend a day together, that day will be awesome.
Also, if you talk on the phone constantly,(after he gets home from work or whatever) you should probably stop. I've found that in many cases phone conversations help ruin the relationship. Lots of fights happen over the phone due to misunderstanding or irritability late at night.
my boyfriend is obsessed with my tits. he always wants to go up my shirt and see them and everything. we love eachother so it's not like im uncomfortable with it and i honestly dont care, so i guess my question is..why do guys like boobs so much?
Whenever I ask, guys say its because they feel cool and make us look more womanly.
There is also a scientific reason behind this. Boobs make us able to breast feed a baby and shows that we are capable of child bearing. Just like animals, guys look for girls that they can "mate" with. Suuposedly, guys are attracted to boobs for this reason.
Weird huh?
I was dating this guy who is in college and im a senior in highschool. We dated through out the entire summer and then up until about half way through october. Since we broke up nothing has changed... neither of us really wanted to break up, but it was just hard for the both of us to trust each other. Also it was really hard for me to deal with the distance, i probably got to see him about once or twice a month. So we're broken up, but nothing has changed...but last night i made the mistake of kissing another guy while i was at a party. I told my ex right away, i didnt want to lie.
now he's giving up on us, even though we were talking about getting back together. he's coming home on tuesday...what can i do to show him that i still care? and that i realize that i made a HUGE mistake.
Most importantly, you have to tell him that you love him more than anything/anyone. Tell him that kissing that other guy made you realize how much you still want to be with him. Tell him that the guy didn't mean anything to you, and it didn't even feel right, it didn't feel like a kiss because it wasn't with him, the person you care about. Make sure that he knows you learned from the mistake.
I don't know how sentimental you are or he is, but write him a letter. Hand written letters mean a lot to some people. Write about how much you care for him, miss him, and write your favorite things about him.
If he's not that kind of guy, buy him something nice. Not anything too expensive so it doesn't seem like you're trying to buy your way back into the relationship. Maybe a sweatshirt or something? Or you could give him something of yours that means a lot to you and tell him that he can have it because he's more important and you trust him with it. That'd make him feel loved.
I hope it works out :)
Okay I really liked this guy for a while. I play basktball with his sister and helped coached his brothers team. This was all last year. We flirted, and I was shure he had to like me some because one time we were talking and his sister asked him if they could leave and he kept stalling i think so he could talk to me longer. He looks at me alot too. So i left him a comment on myspace but i got nothing back. So i looked and all the other people that left him comments hed never writen them back either. By now I really liked him it waslike after are talkes i felt like i could fly. Eventually i was convencd that he didnt like me. So i talked my friend into asking his sister if he liked me. He said as a friend...well all of this happening. I tried to get over it I really grown to like him. Im okay know i geuss. I relapsed a few times when i saw him.But i bounced back.
Well....a year later basketball is starting back, and hes comeing back around. Its weird we dont talk at all. I just want to be friends with him agin without falling for him agin.
What do I do??
I think that you should try to talk to him, just a little bit. Not nearly as much as you used to. It's a year later, maybe you've changed. Maybe he's changed. Maybe he'll be attracted to you or he'll spark a new interest in you.
So talk to him a little, but don't crowd him whatsoever. Go about doing your thing, but make sure he can see you. Maybe he'll be intruiged by you, remember you, and want to talk to you. Make him come to you.
This will also cause you less pain than if you were always talking to him. If you don't as much, you can't possibly feel as strongly as you did last year.
I have 6th period with the guy i like. When I get in the class I blush ALOT & i have to sit next to him. Today I got super sweaty & my face gets red when its hot or i feel uncomfortable. I look super weird because I am the only one in the class who will be all red and sweaty so I turn my head away from him until about 10 minutes into the class when Im not as nervous anymore. I absolutely HATE this. Is there anyway to make it stop or something?
17/F
That used to happen to me all the time when I was in like 7th grade with this kid I liked. I know its hard, but just try to chill. Don't be tense. Sit in a really relaxed manner. Don't keep your arms by your side or sit anxiously, because if you're physically uncomfortable you will sweat more. I don't know what your desks are like, put put your feet up or something.
And I know I used to do this: don't worry about him looking at you. If you worry that he's looking at you, you'll instinctively make a stupid face haha, even if you don't know it. Don't act like he's not even there, but don't plot your every move. It'll be noticeable if you're trying to hide your face from him.
Just try to be laid back. Act like he should be the one that should be nervous around you :) That'll never fail.
i think, but i just dont know, but i think im in love...see this guy i just dont really know a whole lot about him, but he is everywhere i look...i told him i liked him like two months ago and i think i scared him off,,im in the process for asking for a truce and getting to know each other...but i have tried to get over him and just when i think i do, he pops up again...i dont know why...but all of these quizzes saying are you in love they wont tell you,,they are mostly about when you know the guy really well...but i dont hardly talk to him like maybe once a week...if i am in love i dont know what it feels like..i just know that i have never felt like this about anyone ever before...he is with me everywhere at everytime...but i see more to him than when others just see a pretty face..i see that he is a good person and has a lot of poteintial in his life..i see that he cares and is a gentlemen...i see him not the cute guy that plays soccer,,you know..i just dont know what to do...so can you help???
There is always the chance that you really do love him. But most likely, you're just infatuated with him. If you're not dating or you don't hang out with each other, then you can't possibly know the real him. You do care about him for more than his looks, but that is still a form of infatuation. There is always that 1 in a million time when you have love at first sight, but do you really think its that? Try to hang out with him, if you really did scare him off then work at getting him back, but don't act obsessive. Try to work up some small talk with him and build on that. Ask him to go out to eat or something, try to hang out with him. He has to feel something back for you for you to really know that this 'love' is worth pursuing.