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recently left speachless by an ex
im 16/f
he is 19
when we went out i was 14. he was my first boyfriend and it lasted 4 months and i started to lose the spark in the relationship. i loved him but i didnt like him anymore if that made sense. i think the stress of everyone thinking he was too old for me and being so judgemental about it just made me not want to have to deal with it anymore so i told him "i have to talk to you" and he said "i have to talk to you first" and i told him to go first and he told me that there was another girl who told him she liked him and he had always liked her and he said he would absolutely stay with me and tell her to back off if i wanted to stay together but with all the stress i broke it off. within an hour he was going out with this other girl. realizing i truly did still love him i flipped out on him because i felt like he didnt care. i think i had an understandable reason to be upset....it was only an hour! we ended up getting into this big screaming fight and we didnt talk for a year and a half. then one day he texted me. i had no idea he still had my number becasue when we were going out he didnt have a cell phone so its not like he had it saved in there. so that was around christmas time and we've just been talking ever since. by the way he's still going out with the girl "he left me for" (i dont know what else to call it). so we gradually started talking more and more and now we talk about twice a day. still texting because he's shy and would probably have a heart attack if he called me.
so on to the real situation. in the 4 or 5 months that we've been talking to each other its just like all my other friendships except that i havent seen him in two years and we dont talk about our relationship and our girlfriends/boyfriends. even though i've been single ever since. so today he says "i have a question" and he asked if i thought it was weird that we can have such a good relationship after having a serious dating relationship and then a heated break up and i said it was fine and i enjoy having someone to talk to. the conversation kept going and now he's going to visit me at work while im on break which im excited about but nervous all at the same time. and he said he was excited too. then we started talking about our relationship and how we were so shy that we barely talked to each other in the begining and how i was the first and only girl (to this day) that he ever had butterflies for. and then we started talking about the break up and he told me that for a week he didnt care that we broke up but then after that week he totally broke down and realized what had happened and what he lost. even while he had this new girlfriend who he had always liked. and he thought i didn't care that we broke up and i "didnt give a F***" so i told him that i had loved him a lot and i really did care when we broke up and it took me a year to get over it.
im just wondering why someone would say this. and take two years to say it. and why would they say this, to their ex girlfriend after being with a girl for two years???
i'm not sure what to make of the situation. i wasn't expecting this at all!!
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Maybe he was embarrassed or was nervous about telling you that he loved you. Maybe it took him this long to realize it? Or maybe, not to be rude, he really doesn't care he just likes talking to you again. You have to remember that he did start dating a girl right after you broke up and still is dating her as you guys are talking. That is kind of disrespectful to his current girlfriend if guys are talking about dating. If you really think that you care about the guy and want to give it a try then I say go for it, but you have to remember that he is talking to you while he is dating a girl and it shows that could probably do it to you. If he is doing it to her then he is going to do it to another you.
You have to follow your heart and decide what you think is worth it. If you really care about him and you feel like you could really have a connection with him then let him know, but make sure he breaks up with her so you know he is for real and not just using you.
Hope I Helped.
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As said below, it sounds that you both did the same thing. You both seem to have had stronger feelings for eachother than you realized. However, he is with someone else now. You have to make sure you don't find yourself being the "other girl." There isn't anything wrong with being friends with him or even him visiting you at work, but you have to make sure he knows that it has to stay completely platonic. If you let him believe that you are willing to be the 'other girl' than he is having his cake and eating it too. Just make sure boundaries are set.
As for your question concerning what would make him say this now..well it could be for many reasons. Maybe he truly does miss you and wish that he'd done things differently. Or maybe it's his way to make sure you still have feelings for him in case something happens him and this other girl split. I don't say that to sound mean, but know that there is always the possibility of him simply wanting to make sure you continue to wait on him. For your sake I hope this isn't the case. I wish you the best of luck and hope that i've helped u out a little.
<3 Leslie
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Ok so I think that maybe you's both did the same thing when you broke up. You thought you didnt want to be with him anymore and he told you that there was another girl but if you wanted to stay together he would. I think that maybe you's both didnt realize what you had until you lost it. And since he thought you didnt care either thats probably why he didnt contact you until now. Its possible that what he's saying is what he means and maybe you should just take it as that. That he was afraid of lookin stupid or getting rejected by you again. So he just stayed with the other girl because it was "safe". Like to avoid getting hurt. Obviously he has thought about you sicne he texted you out of no where like 2 years later. I think you should just take it day by day with him. Wait and see what happens. If you enjoy talking to him then continue doing it. And if it turns into something more then great. But if it doesnt at least you are getting a friendship with him and maybe some closure.
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Guys do stuff like this all the time and from what I've read, he doesn't seem really trustworthy. Sometimes boys get sick of their girlfriends so they look for other girls or make sure they have some kind of an outlet to spice up their life. You know what I mean? Girls get this feeling too. Especially if he's around 17-18. I'm actually going through this right now. He's probably just looking for excitement and trying to see if he can get you back. It boosts his confidence and makes him feel good about himself knowing that he could possibly get you back. It adds something to his life, ya know?
Its up to you if you want to rekindle the relationship, but if you do, make sure he's really changed. If not, just make sure you're on the same page. Don't be exclusive with him. You don't want to get hurt again.
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