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I'm Mary. I'm a sophomore in college and I love helping people. If you ever need advice or someone to talk to I'm here for you! Never hesitate to ask or message me. Hope I can help!
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I don't know what to do with him! I found out from my bff that my bf made a facebook group thing about our relationshp. I went and red a few things on it and it is personal and nothing anybody should know but us so I told him I knew he had a secret he was keeping from me but not what it was so he would tell me or something but he didn't. i kinda thought that he posted stuff and didn't think it was bad and I wanted to give him chances to say so but he just said he didnt have no secrets so i went back to read the rest and he had made it private only so now it is hidden from me.
I guess what I am asking is if he didn't think this was wrong why did he hide it when i found out? He still denies everything and now i got no proof because i cant see it anymore!!! i have been crying about this and i feel betrayed like he has a secret life on facebook or something! should i stay with him if he isn't going to be honest and still hides things?
Sorry if this is too long!
hey I hope I can help but I'm a little confused. I know you may not want to share but for me to give you good advice I sorta need to know what sort of things were n the facebook thing. For example, If he were reaching out to friends asking them how to make your relationship better maybe he was just trying to fix your relationship or something but was just going about it the wrong way. However, If he was posting intimate details about your sex life or something thats a different sorry. No matter what he was posting, he should not have lied to you. You should tell him you know about the group and that it really hurt you. Tell him he needs to admit it ad talk about it if he wants to stay with you because relationships are based on trust. I would like to help you further, if you would not mind giving me more details about what he posted. Unless you think I already helped enough. Hope I did! Let me now how it goes :)
I know most people might say no, men shouldn't hit a woman back. But I think that if a woman thinks shes big enough to hit a man she should be hit back. I think that a man should only hit a woman in self defense. There are women out there that hit men when they get mad over something stupid and expect not to get hit back and sometimes they try to fight the man, while they expect him to do nothing but walk away. Im a woman and I think that if a woman hits a man she should be hit back. Just like if a man hits a woman for no reason she should hit him back. Im not saying that a woman should be beaten by a man though. Ive seen women hit men, bite scratch,threaten with a knife and chunk stuff at them. The man is supposed to sit there and take that? Most women arent as weak as people think they are.
Just wondering to see people's opinions...
If a man doesnt hit a woman back after she hits him, the next time they argue, she will try to fight and hit him, some women are vicious catty fighters..Im not saying she she get beaten
If a woman doesnt want to get hit by a man like Mike tyson, then she shouldnt hit him because shes mad, or over something stupid.
I'm a woman lol, just asking.
My cousin used to hit her ex. and he would never hit her back. the one time he did though, she never hit him again after that. Shes Grown up since then. If I was a man, I would treat her the same way as I would treat a man who comes up to me and hits me, I do not practice gender discrimination. but the point is everyone deserves to learn that lesson if theyre askin for it. Im not saying men should beat women, Im just saying she should get hit back.everyone who believes in genuine equality and responsibility should agree..
Men: if she comes up to you and hits you multiple times are you going to hit her back? cause that would be self-defense right? for someone strong like her
Women: Do you think if that woman attacked a man he has the right to hit her back?
Well, just this summer my brother (who is pretty tough, but kind) was in Ireland studying abroad. Him and his friend were out one night when a gay guy started hitting on his friend. Since neither of them were gey they politely rejected the guy. Later when coming out of the bar the guy and his gay friends started harassing my brothers who just walked away. Then all of a sudden some drunk Irish woman came out of nowhere and punched my brother in the face, when his friend tried to grab her ad hold her back she ounched him in the face. She had a ring on and my brothers face was black and blue andd cut. (She wasn't a part of the fight she just hated Americans and came outta no where). Anywayyyy My brother was afraid to hit her back and didn't wanna start anything/get in trouble, so they ran away and she chased them until some local guy finally called the cops (they didn't have phones on them). Now I know you're talking more about people in relationships and domestic abuse i guess? But in this situation I think my brother should have just hit the bitch back haha. I mean she was going crazy and wouldn't stop, if he rocked her in the face that would stopped her. I mean if she's gonna get drunk and attack two guys minding their own business she deserves to get punched in the face... Idk, but on a regular basis guys shouldn't hit girls, if the girl hits the guy in a playful way he could hit her back in a playful way, but guy have to remember their strength cause in some cases they are much stronger and if there's physical fighting they could both get pretty hurt.
so ive been going out with my boyfriend for about 2 weeks now and i really like him hes amazing! but just a couple days after we started going out i cheated on him (had sex with my best friend..) and i feel terrible. it was such a mistake we were both wasted and i guess weve both had hidden feelings for eachother for awhile but i cant pursue that now cause of my boyfriend! but i dont know what to do cause i have such guilt whenever im with him i think about it :( i dont know what to do but i know if i tell him he will probably break up with me.
Well the first thing you need to do is stop and think about which one you actually like. You feel guilty about cheating on your boyfriend because it was wrong. Now, I'm not excusing it but hey, it happened. The only way to right it is to think about your relationship with your friend and boyfriend. If you have feelings for your friend and you feel like you can't peruse him because of your boyfriend... that may mean that you don't truly like your boyfriend and you really want to peruse your friend.
I don't know if that's the case but if it is, it isn't fair to your boyfriend. And in that case you should tell him the truth and break up with him. You obviously don't want to hurt him but if you'd rather be with someone else it's the relationship is basically a lie, and I know you just be figuring out your feelings but please don't lead him on! If it really was a mistake and you do really like your boyfriend then you need to figure that out and tell him the truth. It might be hard and he may break up with you but it is notttt a good idea to start or continue a relationship with this inside you. It will eat you up and eventually effect your relationship so you might as well deal with it now. But only you can decide what to do! I hope I helped! Lemme know how it goes :)
alrighty so, i'm 95% sure i'm bi. & i've thought this for about 3 years, i'm only fourteen but i'm sexually active, actually i'm quite the sex fiend. i have a boyfriend so i'm not interested in anyone else, but i do like girls too. the problem is, my mom. She is so open like you have no idea. but i was telling her about her about how some of my friends are bi & she says "How can girls your age know if you like boys or girls?" honestly its because people are having sex at younger ages. times have changed. she know everything about my sex life & doesn't mind as long as i'm safe. i just don't know how to tell her :/
Okay, first of all it's good that you're being safe but 14 is a very young age to be having sex. Just because times have changed and more and more kids are having sex younger does not make it right. Sex is something for people who are mature and you should really consider the consequences. Sorry but i had to say it... now on to your acual question haha
You said you are 95% sure you are bi. I know you think you are completely mature and old enough to know your sexual orientation but that probably isn't true. I'm not saying you aren't bi i'm just saying at 14 years old it is hard to know your definite sexual orientation. With hormones flying around you can't always tell and thats not just my opinion but plenty of doctors across the country.
So in a way, your mom is right about kids not being able to know so young. Now even if your not sure and you still want to talk to your mom about it which is a good idea to be open with your mom. It seems like you have a good relationship since she knows you are having sex. You should just go to her and say mom i need to talk to you, I think I may be bi. You should tell her how you feel and that you aren't 100% sure and maybe she can help you figure things out.
Sorry if some of the stuff i said sin't what you wanted to hear but I hope I helped!
Hi. I am the girl who had a question about dating an older guy online. I guess I never considered the possiblities of what could happen until now. Anyways, I want to end it because he keeps asking me to send him 'personal' pictures of myself. He seems normal, but I just don't know if I should trust him. The thing is, I don't know how to end it. I'm afraid he might get mad or something, or that I wont know what to do or say.
Heyy! Yeah, figuring out how to end it is hard when he's a stranger or even if you know the guy. And its good you haven't sent him any pictures of yourself cause that could be dangerous. You just just tell him that you don't really know him and don't feel comfortable being in a relationship with someone met online.
He'll probably try to convince you that he's a good guy or that you have a connection but you just need to stand your ground. You can just politely say it makes you uncomfortable and if you are a good guy you wouldn't want me to do something i'm not comfortable with and thank him for understanding. Hopefully he will understand and he'll stop e-mailing you.
If you have any more problems let me know!:)
15/f sorry if this is in the wrong category..
Okay, so I met this guy on Deviantart (a site where you post artwork and such). We talk a lot, and I think he may be interested in me. I would be fine with this, but he is an adult. He knows I am only 15, but he keeps flirting with me and e-mailing and calls me by all of these cute nicknames. Is that bad? Should I stop talking to him? I dont know what to do. I feel guilty, like I'm doing something bad. But at the same time, I see all of these girls that date older guys. Someone please tell me what to do!
Yes yes yes this is absolutely bad, haha. I know that this guy may seem normal, or you two may connect or you may think he's cool but you really have no idea who he is. Sometimes guys online are fine and they really are normal but there are plenty of creeps who go online who are not who they say they are, and I am nottt being paranoid.
Even if he is interested in you and he is normal, the fact that he's older should tell you something. You are only 15 and an older guy trying to get with you online makes him seem kinda desperate doesnt it?
And one more thing. Alwaysss trust your instincts, you feel guilty like you're doing something wrong because even you can tell that the situstion is a little weird. Sorry to seem so paraniod but it's something i'm relly passionate about. I've heard to many stories of young people who have met people online and gotten into really bad situations. I'm 16 and it really creeps me out. Better safe than sorry.
Anyway, sorry for the rant and I hope I helped! If you wanna talk feel free to message me!
17/f i'm really shy & have trouble talking to boys, well this one boy that i thought was really cute last year, was a senior & i was a junior. we never talked though. he didn't have any friends, because he just came here, i always tried to get up the courage to talk to him, but i couldn't. well anyway, i found his myspace. & i'm debating.. do i send him a friend request? or would that look so creepy? because i feel like he remembers me from last year, because we exchanged eye contact quite alot. but i don't know. & i was thinking i would just comment on his art. he is really shy like me & it still doesn't look like he has many friends. so i can't even ask anyone to introduce me or anything..
what should i do?
do i think that will look really weird if i asked to be his friend?
I am just like you, sometimes i get really nervous around guys so I know how you feel.
I don't think it would be weird at all if you sent him a friend request. Even though you were shy and didn't really talk to each other, it does seem like he'd remember you. He'll probably be flattered you remembered him. You should definitely go for it, and you never know, you may start talking to him online and get another chance ;)
hope i helped!
I think I am in love with my best friend. He and I have been friends for years, but he doesn't seem to get the hint I want to be something more. How can I get him to realize I want to be more than just friends?
hey i am SO sorry! my computer was messed up and wouldn't let me answer your question until now!!! You may not even need it answered anymore but here goes . . .
Sometimes its really hard when you have feelings for a close friend. Before you do anything you have to think about what his friendship is worth. Many relationships don't work out so you have to think about if you two went out and broke up, would you still have a friendship? are you willing to risk it?
If you truly do want to be with him then definitely go for it. If he is your best friend and you two can talk about a lot of stuff i think the best approach is to just tell him. If you are really forward and say, i really like you and want to try being more than just friends, you are more likely to see is true reaction. If he says yes then there you go, you both now how you feel! If he says no, its best you know right away so you two are both on the same page.
I am sorry i took so long and hope my advice still helped. PLeaseee lemme know what happens. I really hope it works out with you two!
this is gonna get long, sorry.
my ex and i dated for a almost 17 months and we were amazing together. understood each other, never once fought in all that time, just completely compatible. but we broke up in november for complicated reasons. i started dating another guy in january/february who i had been sort of crushing on since august. things went way down hill and we started fighting alottt, mainly because of his jealous, obsessive ways. we're currently on a break/broken up but still kinda together. basically, we just dont have the title right now but we act the same and are hoping things will get fixed. my ex has not dated anyone else. we still love each other, and we know it. we were each others first loves, talked about getting married, everything. and i dont doubt that we still will end up married. we still talk, he tells me he loves me, and i resist from saying it because of my current guy. my mom and i were talking tonight and even she told me how great my ex and i were together. i wanna tell him soo bad that i will always have feelings for him, and that i hope one day we will end up back together, possibly forever. just everything ive been keeping in since the breakup. the only thing that's holding me back is the current sorta-boyfriend. i love him alot, but i know it's not gonna be forever. when we're not fighting, we're great together and he's so much fun, and we've wanted to be together ever since we met. but i feel like i just really need to get this off my chest to my ex. last night he said he loved me, i was playing around and said 'naww you dont'. he said 'yeah i do, i know you dont love me anymore, but i still do'. that almost killed me. and i wanted to say all this then soo bad! but i feel as if that wouldnt be loyal to the sorta-boyfriend. i would never cheat on him, especially with my ex. but ARGH! they dont like each other, so they dont talk, so im not worried about word getting around if i talk to my ex. i just dont know if it's the right thing to do. i want him to know im still here, ya know? i figure technically im single, so i dont know what it would really hurt, but a part of me is saying it would be wrong. like i said, i love my sorta-boyfriend, and it would break my heart if we broke up for good, so it's not like i would immediately go running back to my ex, but in the future, i can totally see it happening. and i know he would give anything to have me back. gosh i just need someone to help me.
Heyy. From what i read i think you still have very strong feelings for your ex, and theres nothing wrong with that. I also think that the relationshio with your current guy isn't really a healthy, you may still like him but it seems like you are only still with him because you feel loyal, but i don't think thats fair to you or him. You say you fight a lot and you currently aren't even together. I really think you should tell your current guy that you have feelings for him but it isn't working. It may be hard but i feel like youlike the idea of your relationship with him instead of him. If you can't see your relationship lasting, whats the point in being in it?
I also think you should definitely tell your ex how you feel. Its not fair to him to say i love you and for him to think you don't have feeings for him when you clearly do, haha.
I think you should tell him that right now isn't the time but you do love him but you do see yourself with him again.
Sorry my answers long but i really hope i helped. Lemme know what you decide to do!
I am a 20years old female and come from a very religious family who believes that sex before marriage is a sin. All the women in my family were virgins until their wedding nights and the same is thought of me. My family is unaware that in my mid teen years I had been sexually active. I have not had sex in a while. I met this incredible guy who I love dearly and am serious about, and I want to have sex with.
I am deathly afraid of getting caught.
I can not decide between my family's happiness or my own. I feel like choosing my own would be selfish.
I have two scenarios. Either I have sex with the guy I deeply love, behind my family's back and their morals, and just pray I don't get caught
or pregnant.
Or I don't have sex with him in order to please my family's beliefs, and live the rest of my life heartbroken that I lost my love.
Please give me your honest opinion on what I should do. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
Also if you have time I have one more question. I've been on Lutera for almost 2months. I would like to know how effective birth control pills are if taken everyday at the same time? And do you know anyone who conceived a child while using birth control pills and were using them correctly as directed?
Heyya, I really understand your problem. First you really have to look inside yourself. Forget about what your family wants for a minute. If you aren't really religious and truly feel like you are ready to take that step, if you really think it will make you happy then by all means do it. However before you do, also think about consequences, not being caught by your family per say, but pregnancy (or STD's; unless you really trust him). There is always a chance you would get pregnant so be prepared (there is no true safe sex).
Once you've thought about how getting pregnant could truly change your life (would guy support you?), or even an abortion, then you should make your decision. (Sorry is i seem really uptight about sex, i know a lot of people don't get pregnant, but theres always a chance and if it were me it would be a tough decision, especially if you love the guy.)Obviously, if you do have sex and your parents find out they will be upset but you have to let them know that you have your own morals and that you have to make your own decisions(you are 20 after all!). After the initial shock they should be okay, haha.
One last thing, i may ave misunderstood you but you said if you don't have sex you would loose your love. Also remember that you shouldn't think you have to have sex or the man you love will leave you. If he truly loves you, he'll wait.
I'm really sorry this is so long!!! Haha, and I reallyyy hope i helped. Lemme know how it goes? =]
So my ex who i went out with for 4 and a half months, told me on IM last night that he wanted to talk to me more because we haven't talked as much since he broke up with me. He also was telling me that it was the biggest mistake he's made in his whole life and he wish that day never happened. But then, my friend, who has been quitting quite close with him, has been getting closer and closer, and i asked my ex if he liked her, but he said 'kinda' and he's moving in 2 weeks, so i don't know what to do or say. I don't want to ruin friendships but on the other hand, i'll feel terrible. And i dont understand why he just told me all that but 'kinda' likes someone? i think he's ready to borderline ask her out? but hes moving? and ahh! i have no clue what to do
Heyy there. I completely understand how confusung this probably is, relationships usually are! haha.
I think that what you guys have may have been important to you but because he "kinda" likes someone else it isn't worth it. Even though he may regret it he is moving anyway and i think it would just be a mistake.
I know youmay feel bad, but you should judt tell him you want to stay close friends,and he should understand.
I hope everything works out and that i helped! Lemme know how it goes =]
so my boyfriend likes to play these games i guess you could call them where he pulls the strings of my hoodie and sometimes he hits me in the face like never hard just little taps and like yesterday it went to far he hit me really hard and it left a mark.. he knows i dont even like it when he does it softly and i told my best friend because i was crying.. and she was like im gonna go after that stupid a**hole and then some of my other friends found out and said the same thing.. im really afraid if my ex finds out hes gonna like beat him up really badly because my ex is like one of my best friends now and .. if he finds out my boyfriend will like end up in the hospital everyone says i should dump my boyfriend .. the thing is he said he was joking and it was an accident but we were arguing while it happened so and we definitely wernt joking around so i dont know what to do.. what do other people think i should do?
Heyy, i understand your problem. First, you should realize that him hitting you is veryyy serious. You said he usually hits you softly, just joking around, and i get that, but this time it wasn't a joke. It is possible that it was an accident and he didn't mean to do it so hard, but the way you described it, it isn't likely.
You have to ask yourself, is he worth it? If he treats you badly, dump his ass. You could find someone else, someone better. If you really do love him, you have to talk to him about it. You have to make sure he knows that this will never happen again and if it does you'll leave him right away, then hopefully things will be okayy. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes . . . But if he does start getting violent, don't wait around, and of course if it ever gets to the point where you are scared of him or scared to leave him, tell someone.
For now i would just talk to him and make sure he knows he did something really bad and it can nott happen again. Unless you want to dump him, then go right ahead. Also, if your ex is your best friend, i would let him know what you are going to do and make sure he doesn't start something with your BF, let him know that them getting into a fight won't help the situation, only make things worse.
Sorry this is so long, i really hope things work out and that i helped! Lemme know how it goes =]
You gave really great advice. thank you so much.
the problem im facing right now is that hes my friend. and wer friends but hes still flirting a little bit. and like, the body language between us, people think were going out. and i cant be his friend without missing him so much. i tell him this but i think he wants me to miss him because he dosent want to stop talking.
so my question is, is there a way to end this "cold turkey" and it actually working?
i believe in baby steps, but i dont know what baby steps would be to solve this problem. any ideas?
thank you so so much!
Heyy. If you want your relationship with him to end completely "cold turkey", it probably will work. If you want to stop talking to him that is totally understandable.
Before you end it, you might want to tell him that, he means a lot to you but you need a break from your "relationship". You could tell him that its important to you that he understands what you're going through. You need some time for yourself to figure things out and if he really cares about you, he'll give you some space. Once you've had some time, you guys can talk again.
After you talk to him he might be hurt but he will probably understand. This is also gonna be hard on you. You will definitely miss him a lot and want to go to him, but you should just give yourself a while to get over him. Once you think you have, you can let yourself be friends with him again.
Thanks for asking me, this is a tough situation and i really hope i helped you. Let me know if things work out. Good luck! =D
I started dating a guy and I really really liked him. He was the first guy I had ever hooked up with without being in a relationship.
The only thing was-- he was on a break with his girlfriend of four years. The reason for their break was he wasn't ready to be married, and she was.
I had never felt so close to a person before, and we knew that we were falling in love, but that it was a really difficult situation because he had this good girl who did nothing wrong but want to be with him.. and a new girl who he was starting to fall for.
Well, I lost in the end. And not only did I lose a guy that I loved, I also lost a friend. It's been months, and God knows I've tried. But I miss him so much.
I don't want to contact him, because I care about him enough not to ruin what he has. In the same matter, I never got the closure I thought I deserved. But how do I get passed this? How can I move on? I need help because this all ended in December and I still think about him everyday.
Please help.
Heyy. I completely understand what you're going through. It is so tough to get over someone that you loved. I understand you not wanting to ruin what he has with his girlfriend and that is so nice of you. But i was wondering why you had to loose him completely, like why you two could just be friends?
Maybe you left something out or his girlfriend doesn't approve . . . anyway. If you can't see him anymore it will be tough to get over him. All you can really do is just try to move on. Maybe try and find someone new. It is always good to get back out there, even if your heart isn't in it. Even going on a few dates with someone may help you move past this other guy.
I'm sorry you miss him so much. I really hope you get passed this and that i helped even a little. Good luck =)
i know theres so many questions on here asking for help with love and there are more importtant problems out there. i wouldnt be asking this except its really interfering with my life. my sleep, the way im thinking, my friends, everything. im sorry this is so long.
if i seem noncholant about anything dont take it that way. ive just been thinking about things a lot and ive come to accept most of it.
im 14. hes 14 too.
so heres the story. 6th grade he asks me out in april, i didnt really know him or like him that much but he was cute and it was 6th grade so i said yes. we got along and talked a lot and got to know eachother a little bit. in may he told me he loved me, i said thanks. he went to camp in june, tried to kiss me before he left but i said no and he said okay. then he went to camp, wrote me letters every week saying he missed me. but the last week he didnt. i didnt mind, while he was gone i noticed i didnt miss him that much so i ended it when he got back. he said it was okay, he was gona end it anyway because he met someone else. so i was just like cool. yea i was kinda sad that night but after that i was just like whatever. and we really didnt talk after that.
then came 7th grade, and we went out twice. the second time we both sort of got bored with the relationship. the second time i ended it. i had just gotten surgery, and i was just like wow lifes too short to be with someone i didnt like in the first place. so we end it, we hooks up with random girls, i only miss the attention and wer all happy. oh i forgot the second time we kissed but it was kind of gross.
anyway, the point of this really long story is to show that thers a lot of history.
so now this year, 8th grade we dont go out but we've had two really serous things. and ive tried to end it so many times but he always talks me out of it.
i dont know how to end this without really hurting either of us. because heres the thing. ive really started liking him and it scares me. he thinks wer getting married and hes so nice. hes really a good guy but that makes it so hard on me because i dont want a relationship! my mom saw us walking today and thot we were dating. im just not intrested in anything so serous, but anything we have is serous because we've been dating on and off for three years. im 14, i dont know how to handle this. please any advice would be amazing. thank you so much.
Heyy there. Relationships are tricky, no doubt about it. I understand your problem so heres my advice. It seems he really likes you and thats why he doesn't want your relationship to end, but you're right, life is short and you shouldn't be with someone that doesn't make you happy. Also, it isn't fair to him.
To let him know how you feel you should tell him you really need to talk and go somewhere quiet where you can both really focus on each other. You should tell him that you have very strong feelings for him, and always want to be close with him (or at least friends that part is up to you). Just let him know it isn't something he did.
If he tries to talk you out of it, stand you're ground. Tell him you have thought about this a lot and that he can't talk you out of it. You aren't happy with something this serious. Once you make it clear to him that you still like him but don't want to be in a relationship, he should understand.
I hope i helped and that everything works out. Lemme know how it goes! =]