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love advice
i know theres so many questions on here asking for help with love and there are more importtant problems out there. i wouldnt be asking this except its really interfering with my life. my sleep, the way im thinking, my friends, everything. im sorry this is so long.
if i seem noncholant about anything dont take it that way. ive just been thinking about things a lot and ive come to accept most of it.
im 14. hes 14 too.
so heres the story. 6th grade he asks me out in april, i didnt really know him or like him that much but he was cute and it was 6th grade so i said yes. we got along and talked a lot and got to know eachother a little bit. in may he told me he loved me, i said thanks. he went to camp in june, tried to kiss me before he left but i said no and he said okay. then he went to camp, wrote me letters every week saying he missed me. but the last week he didnt. i didnt mind, while he was gone i noticed i didnt miss him that much so i ended it when he got back. he said it was okay, he was gona end it anyway because he met someone else. so i was just like cool. yea i was kinda sad that night but after that i was just like whatever. and we really didnt talk after that.
then came 7th grade, and we went out twice. the second time we both sort of got bored with the relationship. the second time i ended it. i had just gotten surgery, and i was just like wow lifes too short to be with someone i didnt like in the first place. so we end it, we hooks up with random girls, i only miss the attention and wer all happy. oh i forgot the second time we kissed but it was kind of gross.
anyway, the point of this really long story is to show that thers a lot of history.
so now this year, 8th grade we dont go out but we've had two really serous things. and ive tried to end it so many times but he always talks me out of it.
i dont know how to end this without really hurting either of us. because heres the thing. ive really started liking him and it scares me. he thinks wer getting married and hes so nice. hes really a good guy but that makes it so hard on me because i dont want a relationship! my mom saw us walking today and thot we were dating. im just not intrested in anything so serous, but anything we have is serous because we've been dating on and off for three years. im 14, i dont know how to handle this. please any advice would be amazing. thank you so much.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I understand why you'd be concerned with getting involved too young with a guy.
I mean.. there's being in love, and we all know how down right rec hid that is. Come on now.. maybe it's okay to stay with a guy who cares for you THIS much.
Of course, I can't talk you out of a decision you've already made. If you really want to end this, then you need to be sure. No more mixed feeling, back on, back off for two of you. This time when things end, you need to be sure that you want them to so that he doesn't get hurt again, and you won't be in the position where you have to feel bad for hurting him again.
If you're absolutely sure about dumping him, then do it kindly. You have a long history and it's going to hurt you both really bad since now you both have feelings for one another.
But take it from a girl who's dealt with a lot of heart breaks and being the heart breaker herself-- do not sabotage a relationship simply because you are scared of never finding something better.
Of course, you never know what else is out there, but if this guy keeps coming in and out of your life-- then maybe there's a reason for that.
It takes a lot of strength to admit all this, and I think it's great that you can tell the difference between what is real and what's not as far as your feelings. That's a luxury! Take care and keep me updated!
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Heyy there. Relationships are tricky, no doubt about it. I understand your problem so heres my advice. It seems he really likes you and thats why he doesn't want your relationship to end, but you're right, life is short and you shouldn't be with someone that doesn't make you happy. Also, it isn't fair to him.
To let him know how you feel you should tell him you really need to talk and go somewhere quiet where you can both really focus on each other. You should tell him that you have very strong feelings for him, and always want to be close with him (or at least friends that part is up to you). Just let him know it isn't something he did.
If he tries to talk you out of it, stand you're ground. Tell him you have thought about this a lot and that he can't talk you out of it. You aren't happy with something this serious. Once you make it clear to him that you still like him but don't want to be in a relationship, he should understand.
I hope i helped and that everything works out. Lemme know how it goes! =]
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You should tell him you want to be friends, your going to fast for your age anyway. No 14 year old should be even thinking about marriage, I mean you still have school, no way to make enough money to even rent an apartment and pay for the bills. Tell him things are just going to fast and you need some time to cool off. But yet you still want to be his bud.
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