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January 1, 2005

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My names Jenny and I'm a 16 year old girl, oviously. I'll help you with anything you ask, so ask away. But if your gonna ask a dumb question, you'll get a dumb answer. And try not to start shit. This site is for helping people, not a way to bitch at people beacause your board and have nothing better to do. I know most about sex ;), Buddy4u Profiles, Xanga's, Html, Mental help..Like cutting, depression, and suicide, and love life. I will try as hard as I can to help you, and give you my honest awnser, weather it may upset you or not.

advice

i am a guy and i am in middle school and there is this girl that is like my best or 2nd best girl friend lets call her hilary. so hilary asked me out and i said yes then about a week later she dumps me. then a few days later she asks me out again and i say yes cuz i still liked her. then 3 days later she breaks up with me again. and then about 3 weeks later hilary asks me out agian and i said yes then she dumps me five days later and i have a feeling that she is gunna ask me out again wut should i do if she does?

She's a bitch. I would serioulsy say " No, you've already dumbped me 4 times, and i've moved on. You should too." You can get better.

This guy is like in love with me and he always sends me all these poems and qoutes on how much but im wit a guy t hat i already love and he rele gets sick of this other guy telling em how much he loves me..how can i get this guy to leave me alone i mean ii wanan still be friends with im but..i dont want him to love me anymore..

Love,

WAnt HiM To mOVe On

Tell him your flattered but you don't want to have a more love type relationship with him, and that you just want to be friends. Something like that. Be straight forward with him.

me and my girl have been together 6 months and i love her and all but there is another girl that i kinda like. i think i have a future with both of them. what do i do.

If you TRUELY "loved" this girl. You would never be thinking about another girl, or would care about another nother girl. You would not be able to live without her. Obviously....you do not love her. Do what ever you want. Personaly I would stay with the girl your with now. It's been a while and you never know what could happen if you guys break up and you get with this other girl, who just may dumb you. Good luck tho.

Tonight he told me he love dme. That he always would. he said a lot of shit i didnt think he meant. not after what he said about dating before. and now this. he tells me all this and now we both are confused. we are scared to take it further. both scared of being hurt. of it going to far...him being 3 years older..what do i do? im 14..never had a serious bf n he comes this 17 guy already had sex, ex druggies saying he loves me...and hes not lying..i think i "love" him too. but i dunno. seems to fast

Okay well depending on how long you have been going out, i think should determine if you should take things further. Guys that age, sorry to say, will go out with younger girls just for sex and to get action. If you've been going out for quite a while...i'd say at least 6 months, then you could take it a little further. Otherwise i woulnt do anything to serious with him. Feel free to drop one in my inbox if you have anything else to add to this or ask. Good luck!

Adding:: Now that i've read the..your just friends.. if he means you guys being sexual no. but you guys going out..it may hurt now to take a chance..but in the end it wiill be worth it.

Hello. :)
14/F ~ My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 months now, and the other night he came over. We sat around and talked for a little while, but then he started to pull moves on me... It's not the first time or anything.. we started to make out then he put his hands up my shirt and down my pants..then we started making out more.. then he pulled me on top of him and we made out more. Is it wrong for me to let him put his hands in those places? I'm just wondering so I can tlel him weather he can again or not. Thank you :)

No, I dont think it's wrong at all. Kids at 12 do that..whitch is sick. But at 14 it's not wrong at all.

Ok, well, let me start off by saying i'm a 7th grade girl. Today at lunch this kid named derek passed me a note and said it was from my friend brian. I took one of my girl freinds, tara, to the bathrooom and read the note. It was really orny and soft....it read, "Roses are read, Violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you......will you go out with me?". My friend tara started cracking up while i was numb and shocked from the note. I threw it in the trash and ignored brian the whole day. Now, me being quite popular (not rele popular, but popular as in knoing everyone in our grade and tlk to them and hang) and brian being shy and non-social. It's really weird and almost gross that he asked me out.....i rele don't know how to tell him that i don't want to go out with him at all so that he on't get embarrased and i won't get embarrased. Pleask tell me what i can write to him so he on't get hurt.
Thank-you so much for the help

Being popular isn't everything. This guy could be really cool even thought he might be shy. He must of had a lot of guts to write you that. And if the guys cute, I dont see why it matters that hes shy. Sorry..but your friends wrong for laughing..that's mean. But okay, if you really don't want to go out with him I would call him on the phone. If you write a note people could read it and if you do it in school people will see and even if you take him somwhere else they'll probably get the wrong idea about that. So call him on the phone. Try to be nice..lol and don't laugh. Say your really sorry but you have a bf. Simple as that. ..Bye

hi again, thank you all so much, your answers and advice all helps but im still hurt. I cant believe i made such a fool of myself in moving too fast. i guess there is still a feeling for him, but its more hurt now thats filling my mind up more.

update on the whole issue. well, i contacted him after i wrote this question

see we were to go to dinner tonight, being friday night, so i was going to call to cancel, cos i wasnt up to it

i called and he answered

arrr. i mean just to here his voice sent shivers down and up my spine. it made me so nervous. anyway, i called and asked him if he was ok to talk to right now. and he said not really he is going out with his room-mate because she is leaving earlier that monday, so i am off to say goodbye.

i said, so where do i stand now, and he paused for so long, and i said what

he said nothing and then said, i dont know

so when can i see you, to talk. to try to clean slate my speediness in moving to fast with you,

and he said

well, hmmmm, well um, we can talk on monday. im off work.

so i was like, is this another one of his tricks, because when i go over there, again, i will have to try and contain my emotions, and feeling, and it may be hard. but im still confused on the whole issue. can i paste what he wrote to me yesterday night before i poored my heart out with hurt and sadness. i dont know why i did so, but unfortunatly i did, and i feel like a complete idiot. anyway, on monday night, this coming. i was invited to see TINA ARENA in concert. its 2nd row seats, and he will be there with his friend. well i went to visit his friend today, and i told him that i feel this way for him, and i feel like shit now and he wont return my calls.

well you have to give it time, he is just freaked by how fast you moved.

i was like, but he sent me those mixed messages

and his friend said, yes but you did move faster than normal people would do, i mean, if you want me to be honest, how do you know he is the guy for you, and i was like well, i dont, but i feel a feeling for him, and i just acted on it. may be the wrong way, but i cant change the way i do things or who i am.

his friend said to me 'do you want me to try and hint you toward him a little more, and see where it takes you, and i was speechless. i dont know i said. but he also said that i should take a few days off, dont call him. and just wait to hear from him.

i am seriously well, still have feelings for this guy, i dont know why, cos im hurt but i still cant help not knowing where i honestly stand with him.

by the way, my emotional outburst the night before was only caused by this comment

i messaged him on the dating website and said hi. this is what he wrote back.

Ummm yeah interesting profile....... I know that ive sent this profile a message before and never received anything back.
Anyway this isnt going to happen, friends is cool, but im 21 and still interested in enjoying myself, and no thats not saying i want to fuck around its saying that i am happy with how i am at the moment, and mabey you need someone who is also inexperienced, kinda hard to explain........

well can you understand why i poored my heart out so fast to him now, because i then retreat back and try to make sense of what happened when he put his head on my lap and stroked my legs.

i was so emotional i again scared him off.

so back to todays call, trying to cancel the dinner. i called him, he answers and said he was off to say goodbye to friends. i was like on, he said come over monday and we can chat, i was like on will you message me, and he was like silent.

i really dont know whats left to do. his friend contacted be just before i started writing this response. he said that its ok to come to tina arena. i asked him, and he said fine as long as i dont destroy the concert for him, he is fine....

i feel like i dont want to go now, based on that comment. i may have dissed his clothes and watch earlier, but he is far more hurtful that i was ever.

i guess i want to see the concert but i dont want to destroy it for myself becoming so silent because of him next to me, when all i want to do is hold his hand and say sorry for the past week.

i wanna tell him i love him, but i know that will destroy it, but im sure its love cos i cant stop thinking of him, i cant even keep my brain on work. its so hard. im so hurt.

what do i do....

should i go on monday morning, cos i want to, but im afraid to

he said that he is just after friends. thats it, but i still feel kind of violated, and hurt.

like my heart has been ripped out, and keeps being placed back in just to get re-torn out.

if i say goodbye, this town is only so small, and im sure ill run into him, and feel like a complete shit again.

so, i dont know

basically i feel like i should go, tell him one last time that he has hurt me, and if he says nothing or tells me it will never happen i will again feel like it was a waste of time.

i want to grab him and kiss him one last time, to see if there is anything still there, but again, like his friend has said, i would be moving too fast.

oh boy oh boy, im so bad at this whole thing.

i mean ive done the casual scene, but im now 25 and feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually ready for a relationship, it was the first time i have connected like that with a guy. it was so different to the others.

see this is what i want, i want to invite him over and cook for him, i want to light a candle, and sit and talk over wine, i want to kiss him and see if i can pass on this intensity that i have inside me. but i fear it will never happen,

yeah i know im moving too fast, but i cant help these feelings.

sometimes i wish i didnt meet him last weekend. cos i know i would have still a working heart, without hurt.

by the way, i am lonely, and i guess what i saw in him was trust and warmth, but it went cold for some reason.

i dont know anymore, i will give it one last try, and speak to him, and share my feelings, but should i speak love or chemistry.

i am deeply emotional, but i feel from my heart, not my body. if you all reading this i wish you could feel this feeling for one brief moment, the intensity, the completity, the heart exploding, um its a nightmare right?

thank you again. until the next update.

I'm going to be honest with you. It does seem like you move pretty fast. But its true, he did send you mixed signals. Unless he was drunk when he yelled that stuff out before. And I dont think when he put his hand on your lap and you told him all that stuff you scared him out. I think he really cared then, even thought it probably suprized him a bit. But he seems to be on more of a friend level with you, and your talking about loving him. I suggjest for now just be friends with him if you can! And yes, if you tell him you love him that will proably scare him off more.

Maybe your so attached to him and have these feelings because he showed you that he cared. But many people could do that too. He seems young, probably immature and want's to 'party it up' before he gets into a serious relationship.

This kind of thing has happened to me and i know exaclty how you feel. It really hurts. I hide my feelings until the guy I liked, liked me back. It was extreamly hard, evertime I saw him I wanted to tell him that I loved him. But in the end by not saying anything things worked out and we got together.

Good luck with this!! I hope I helped somewhat!!

xoxo Love - Jenna

How do i move on? i broke up with my boyfriend because i was pissssed off at him cuz i found out shit about him that he didnt tell me himself. He was trying to get back with me but i didnt want to even though i still have feelings for him. Now we dont talk and i want him back!!! but i cant, so how do i move on? what are things that i can do to heal my broken heart?

Try spending time with your friend and doing things to take him off your mind. Remember if he did something wrong you shoulnt take him back, other guys will treat you better. Also try getting to know different guys. Maybe you'll find another one you like and you'll forget about your ex. And by talking to him it's only going to make you want him more, and if thats not what you want, then I sugjest not talking to him at all, or atleast until you've gotten over him. I know it's hard, but good luck!

okay ... i had a crush on this guy , and would always flirt and stuff , but after he started liking me , i stopped liking him .It's kinda like now i completely dislike him , i hate his confused look , i hate the way he tries to make me laugh ... i just don't like him !! Why is this happening to me ?

Maybe you just really didn't like this guy. Or maybe your a little shy. Try and see if this happens with other guys..Cuz it could just be him. Good luck. xoxooo

Im 13 and me and my bf have been goin out for about 4 months now. I really love him with all my heart and he's like my soul-mate. He cares 4 me and loves me a lot to! (also 13).
I've been in a past relationship where the guy took kissing and making out for advantage.. and I still haven't really healed from it. My bf wants to make out and says he respects me not being ready. He asks me when I will be ready or if I ever will. It seems like all he wants is to make out.. Wut do I do?

You've been going out with him for quite awhile and if he were trying to take advantage of you then he would have made you or dumped you long ago bcuz you wouldnt. I think you should make out with him. you'll like it lol and nothings wrong with it expecialy since you've been going out for a while. itz someting ppl like to do, to show affection for eachother. but if your really unconferble tell him this and he should understand or he may tell you that he would never use you. then you know he really cares. i'm sure he could be with other girl..and he could make out with them...but he just wants to make out with you. he cares about you and i dont think he would use you. byez good luck! plz rate me :)

i have an AWESOMe friend. i am 1 year older than him and we arent going out. his mom says he is not old enough to have a GF but she is insisting for us to go to the movies together. i LOVE him but i dont know if he LOVES me... i know that he likes meeh but i dont kno!!! please help me!!!! i beg u!!!!!!!!!!

Well how old is he? Mabye wait a year if he's really young. Then you can get closer. (Or) he doest have to let his mom know anyways that he has a gf. he could still act like hes just friends around your guys'z parents. they dont have to konw that your going out. tell him that!! Good luck. plz rate me

me and my bf got in a big fight on wednesday....and i hung up on him and everything he hasnt called me or got online since then and im not gonna call him bc it was his fault that we had the fight...how long should i give him to call me? i dont wanna wait to long and lose him...but i wanna work it out but let him no im mad....when do u think i should call him n b lyke ok we really need to talk...and blah blah...he usually ALWAYS calls me...but idk he hasnt yet....so how long do i give him?

If you love him and really don't wanna louse him then you should call him back. But if he loved you enough he would probably (should) have called already. I would wait mabye 4 days. Or until he gets on line. Make sure he didnt block you lol. And if he comes on line or did block you then you need to talk to him. If it wasnt your fault then hes being gay about all of this. Mabye ask him why you blocked me and never called you..ask him if he cares about you. (just assuming he blocked you) otherwise just talk things out if he didnt. good luck! -Jenna

i rate high

well im going out with a great guy i love him to death he is awesome and every thing well my ex-still likes me and he is always telling me how pretty i look or that he likes me and he will always call. i dont know wat to do bc i still kinda like my ex but i love my bf but every day i think i start to like my ex more wat do i do?

from confused

Do what ever makes you the happiest. If you broke up with him because he did something wrong then do not go out with him. But if you like this other guy then you really dont love the guy your with. Follow your heart..

Hey.. ok I got a lil problem! See.. there's this guy & I really like him but he's already told me that he dont want a g/f right now. Ok.. I was cool with that.. then 1 day he asks me if i would fuck him. I'm like huh? (I'm 14 btw.. he's 16) He's like let's fuck.. ok well I was like umm.. I dont really wanna do that right now but I was really flirty with it like I was playing hard 2 get.. which I kinda was but see.. now EVERYBODY knows that we might do something & he keeps bugging me about it but I still kinda like him.. what should I do?

DO NOT have sex with this guy. Save it for somone who you really love. This guy just wants sex and i doubt a relationship. This guy i'm guessing hardly knows you, cares about you, or likes you. He probably thinks your hot bcuz he wants to have sex but he's not worth it. He's just another sex craving dick. There will be guys in your life who really care about you and love you. dont waste it on somone who hardly konws you and doest love you at all. you will really regret it later if you do.

This was something my mom and I talked about the other night, and it really made me think. Is it possible to love two people at the same time in the same way, as in a bf/gf? I'd appreciate to see some opinions on this...

JyNxiE

I don't think thats possible. If you are in love with somone, then you would love them enough to know that they are the only one for you. And you woudlnt want anyone else. And if you think you love 2 people you obvioulsy don't really love them.

Hey-i was reading through your column and i really liked the advice you were giving so i was wondering if you could help me out with a situation i have:
alrite so beginning of this year (i was still a junior in high school) i met a guy (a senior in high school who's now a freshman in college) through my best friend's boyfriend and one nite after all 4 of us hanging out i ended up hooking up with him. When it started out, neither of us was looking for a relationship, i was just looking to gain experience so i figured it was a great idea. Long story short-i went pretty far with him and got attached-towards the end of the school year we found out we both really liked each other, we went to prom together and were hooking up monogamously for about 4 months but he never asked me out-finally middle of summer he said he didn't wanna lead me on but he really didn't want a gf when he was gonna be leaving for college in a month-i told him i understood but naturally i was heartbroken. So i didn't see him the rest of the summer, i've just heard stories about him hooking up with other girls which killed me...literally but i finally finally got over him (its been a long long road). Anyways he's back for thanksgiving break and i haven't gotten play in awhile-so this friday we are getting together-im really worried cuz when i see him i don't know if i will have the strength to turn down hooking up with him, but i definitely know i don't have the strength to get over him again-at the same time....i desperately need play LOL. What do u think i should do?!?!

thanks

Hey i'm so sorry this is late! But still if I was you I would try as hard as I could not too hook up with him. Being in collage he probably was with girls, mabye a lot of them. If you did hook up with him, you'll probaby have a harder time getting over him. To me from what your seeing, no offence this is just my opinion, but all he seems to want is sex. He hasnt had relationships, but sex. And since you didnt see him all summer (mabye didnt even talk to him) you should deff. forget about him as hard as it is. Because you could get a guy who would go out with you and care a lot more about you than he did, and you could still hook up lol. A lot of times when girls have played or hooked up with a guy they like him a lot more just because of that. Hanging out with other guys and going out with other ones will help you forget about him more easy. I hope everything went okay. And I'm so sorry I coudlnt get back to you about this before friday! Good luck with everything, hope i helped a bit lol. Byez

ok, so i dont think im ugly, but i know im definitely not gorgeous, and when i get compliments on my body or anything else from guys, i don't know how to respond. I've had self-esteem issues and when i hear these compliments, im glad someone thinks of me that way, but i dont wanna sound like "OMG! Im hot shit.." How do i respond to these compliments without sounding like im hot shit or end up rejecting them?

Just say thanks and give em a smile..

There is this guy that I'm really interested in and I think he's into me too. we have only one class together at school and we never hang out when we aren't at school and he doesnt have my s/n email or number...should I give it to him? or should i wait til he asks for it (he is kinda shy)

is he the guy for me?

please help !

Yeah give it to him. Try and be and be friends with him first. Think of him as just a guy who would wanna be friends with, even tho u like him.

ok i kno this is a big generalization... so no one get mad @ me or get all pissy for this ? but y do guys always seem to want what they cant have? it seems like the last 2 or 3 times ive gone out w/some1, there is some1 else flirting w/ me... but when im not going out w/ some1... there isnt!! it sux really bad! lol. will some1 just tell me y... and how can i get guys attention when im NOT going out w/ some1 lol! thanks much!

Hm..cause god wants to test your love for your boyfriend

i guess me and my ex boyfriend broke up i still really like him alot i might even go as far as saying i love him i was trying to stay away from him when he was at my friends house because he had tryed to hook up with my best friend the weekend before we talked he said he was trying to kiss her because it would piss me off and he wanted to make me mad because i was talking to his cousin i told him that i still like him and he said the reason he broke up with me was because things that were going on in his life at the time he said you know i love you and i told him not to say that because i feel strongly about that word and i believe that it is miss used alot i told him not to say it unless he ment and and he dosen't mean it so he dosen't need to say it all he had to say about that was that you dont knwo that i dont mean it we were in the car on the way home he said it again i told him to stop saying it my friend got pissed and said he does mean it you dont know he dosent and you love him to so shut up but at school he still majorly flirts with girls right in front of me i dont get it oh and to make this all better he has a gf but what should i do im head over heals for this guy to bad he dosen't feel the same sorry this is so long i Rate extreamly well thank you for your time whoever will take the time to read this and give me a little bit of help

your right, if he did love you he would not of breaken up with you. Because "he has things going on in his life" is the stupid reason to break up. And he's an ass for trying to kiss your friend. AYou need to move on from him and get someone else. He already has. Good luck. xoxo

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