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Q: Ok I will make this as brief as possible.

I am 18/F, been dating 21/m for about a month.

First date no kiss, second date kiss, third date nothing, fourth kiss, fifth nothing.....

but he keeps asking me out, is he just nervous?

He's also told me he "wants to make sure it's right" before committing to a relationship. Which I think I can understand if he really means what he said...

I'm confused. Does anyone have any idea whats going on?

To me it sounds like he is just uncertain if he wants a relationship with you yet, therefore he is trying to feel you out. He also probably is nervous as you thought, because he may think you are not interested in him. A question for you, who normally gives the kiss you or him? If he does, maybe you should step it up and kiss him to let him know you are feeling him, guys actually like when girls make the first move, it takes some of the pressure off of them. Also, I would straight out ask him what he considers you guys to be either friends or in a relationship/interested in starting one, instead of having the whole mind game situation going on.

hopefully this answers your question, good luck.

Brittni

Q: Ok so I'm 17 and I haven't had the best luck with guys lately. I told a guy I really liked how i felt about him and he completely lied to me =[. Another guy i went out with for a few weeks likes me again and I really do not like him that way just as a good friend. This new guy came into my life and he came to my party and was really flirty with me. I was then told that he was thinking about me by a friend of my ex-boyfriend. I finally thought things were turning around but then this friend told me that he asked him if he liked me and he said no not as a girlfriend =[ but that there is always my ex-boyfriend. I cant decide if they lied to me about what this new guy said or if he actually doesnt like me. What should I do differently? What do you think this new guy really feels ? Sorry if that was confusing. I just need some help dealing with this situation when nothing seems to be getting better. Thanks

One thing i learned in my life is not to believe everything someone says, people will end up taking advantage of you for that fact and i would take that to thought in this circumstance. The boy who told you that this new guy doesnt like you could of been lying so that you would go back out with your ex, but then again he could of been telling the truth. To make sure of this i would befriend the guy you like to get an idea of how he feels about you and make you're own judgement. To get what you want you have to put yourself out there when the opportunity is presented to you, you can be subtle by saying how you really want to go to see/do "insert something you know he and you both like here" then see if he asks you to see/do whatever it is with him, you may even have to ask him to do that certain thing if you are feeling confident enough to do so. Just dont give up on the thought of him liking you because of hear say, you'll never really know until you figure out for yourself.

hopefully that helps you out some, good luck!

Brittni

Q: 16/f
about two weekends ago i was at my friends house and her brother and his friend who are both freshman were there. we had a lot of fun and just watched movies and stuff, i met her brother and his friend there for the first time. well a week after that my friend told me that her brother's friend, jef, really liked me and said all of these things about me that i was really hot and had a good body ..he asked if she had any naked pictures of me, he asked as a joke but i think he was serious..that kind of make me ..eh. but anyways so then he asked for my number and it was good. then he never texted me so i was confused..so i went on facebook and IMed him then he was asking how far ive gone, and when i said 2nd i dont think he was too happy to hear that but whatever. then he asked if i liked him and i said yeah and he said its cool i dont know though ill have to think about it. and i read that and was just like uhm..what..so i asked and hes like just text me i got to go. so i did and he told me, "im too involved in school and basketball right now, i dont think having a girlfriend is that good for me" so basically, he broke up with me, and we werent even going out. which is so weird. i didnt even ask to go out with him. then a week later which was friday night, my friend, who is his best friend's sister, was over. and he saw that my status on facebook said, "with sarah" so he IMed me and was like sarah and i got so pissed. he didnt talk to me for a WEEK but now that sarahs over, he suddenly wants to talk through me, to sarah?! she doesnt even talk to him. so then whatever after a few pointless conversations we had i was like, "did you IM me to talk to sarah" and hes like, no why? and im like because you never talk to me and now that sarahs over you are..and hes like, what do you mean i talk to you everytime your on. and im like uh no you dont..but thats okay. and hes like fine ill talk to you then if thats ok with you. and i was just like uhh..its not my choice, you can do whatever you want. and then hes like, what do you mean do whatever you want? haha. and i was just like wow. thats not funny..no so im like, haha wow. and then he was like can i ask u a question? and im like yeah and hes like, do you stil like me cause adam said you did..(adam is sarahs brother who jef is friends with) and im like..how would adam know i dont even talk to adam. and hes like i dont know he was guessing i guess. do you? and im like well alright, i liked you a lot last week, but then i thought it was kind of weird how you made it out like you really liked me but then told me you didnt want to go out with me..and hes like, ok yeah im just kind of confused about stuff right now. and i was just like, thats fine but you didnt have to tell you didnt want to go out with me if you didnt want to. you kind of let me down, and i didnt even ask. and all he said was, sorry i mean your great. like..uhmm? what? so im just like yeah now you tell me, do you like me? and hes like, well i dont know not as much as i did..i kind of like someone else, and i only saw you that one time i dont know bout you. and i just wrote, okay. and hes like yeahh. and im like just promise me that next time we see eachother things wont be akward. because i mean your a cool kid like i dont want something like this to ruin it. and hes like, yeah no prob. and maybe if i get to know you better maybe well i dont know. and im like haha its fine i just dont want this whole thing to ruin a friendship, i hate it when that happens. and hes like, ok sure i got to go though so lets talk on the cell right now ok? and then he texted me and we talked about the movie step brothers then he said how much fun that night was when we all hung out togethor and then he said he had to go to sleep so i said night and then he never talked to me or texted me since then. i knew he was going to do that but whatever. so last night, i wandered onto his facebook..and some girl, wrote on his wall and was like, hey!! im staying up for you tonight so text me

wow that was very long and in depth, my point of view on this would be that it could of been the fact he didnt know you that well and wanted to get to know you better before he got involved with you, but you were being a bit too invasive and meanwhile he was confused because there was another girl in his life that he knew better and has had his eye on who also felt/feels strongly about him.

ANYWAY YOUR ANSWER to move past him.
first off stop talking to him, at least so often, that makes things more difficult.
what i suggest you do is go out with your girl friends to a movie, mall etc scope out the guys there. there are plenty of boys out there your 16 you have so much life ahead of you which means lots of cute boys will cross your path, keep yourself busy. Think of it as you dont need a guy who is unsure of what he wants, you need someone who knows what they want, not a guy who goes around flirting with various girls. Try your best to keep your head high and realize you dont need a man to complete you, believe me. Keep yourself focused on your friends and other things at hand, maybe they will even have some cute guy friends you can meet that will blow this guy you met the other night out of the water. Keep your options open and dont commit to one guy too quickly. And in the end he'll be the one who wants you back, not you wanting him.

hopefully this helps you anything else please feel free to send it to my inbox.
Brittni

Q: heyy
im the same person that asked about the manager issue. thanks for that :)
but i have another question .. we were messaging each other yesterday and he asked me what qualities i liked in a guy and i told him, and then he was like "I can get fired for fraternising with crew" and i replied saying "Ha dont flatter yourself :)" and then he replied saying "I never do, but is it just coincidence that i loosely fit what you just described" and i was like "I guess it is a coincidence" then he said "Well i say that rules are there to be broken, you just cant get caught" and i said "Yeah true"
does that mean that he like rejected me in a nice way? please be honest i dont want you to say things just to make me feel better.
at work today he was nice to me and gave me the job that i like to do most and he kept looking at me and staringg.
i dont know what he is doing!
please help..
thankss :)

this is actually a very good sign that he likes you, by him saying the rules are there to be broken means that he would break the rules if you liked him back because he does like you that much, believe me i would never lie to anyone to make them feel better, i think honesty is the best policy. So you know he likes you, now it is up to you because you have to think do you want to risk him loosing his job to be with him/or you loosing your job there, or do you like him so much its worth the risk? just make the decision you feel is right in your heart and follow it through.

hope that helped you out.
anything else please ask.
Brittni.

Q: bottom line:

he calls or texts me maybe twice a week if im lucky

we hang out once a month

and i only see him at school between classes for two minutes once a day

we have been together almost 3 months

but liked each other for over a year

every time i talk to him about how we arent close he gets mad and tells me to end it

what should i do?

you cant have a relationship based on what you said above, you have to be able to easily talk about things to the other person and it sounds to me he is being irrational. my advice would be to try talking with him once more, tell him you never see each other and whatever else you feel you need to say, if he isnt listening to you i think that is a good enough reason to end a relationship or whatever this is because believe me its not going to get any better, if anything you are not going to be able to get what you truly need out of a relationship while being stuck with a guy who is unable to express his feelings to you let alone SPEAK with you about an issue, and in the end you'll just end up frustrated and have all this wasted time that you cant back, or there is a possibly it could escalate into a matter of cheating because there is not fulfillment in the existing relationship.

remember communication is one of the key elements in any relationship for it to work well.
if i could help you with anything else please ask

Brittni

Q: hey
well i work at mcdonalds, and i have a thing for my manager. he is only 3 years older than me which is okay, and hes not store manager or anything.. i just need to know, how do i get his attention? he always makes fun of me (not being mean) coz im really clumsy and trip over alot and then says that i always blush when i get embarrased, and he tells people i laugh alot and get embarrased easily. i really like him so i want to know how i can get on his radar hehe. how should i catch his attention and make him want me too?
thankss x

best thing you can do is be yourself, be self assured.
dont be afraid to flirt back/ joke back, pay him compliments, hint at what he is doing after he is done work but dont exactly ask him to do something make him work for it guys like that type of thing.. hard to get, the key to it is you need to know when to stop playing hard to get for example when he asks you do something then accept that offer. if you want him bad enough you can get it, just dont seem too desperate.

anything else i can help you with feel free to send it to my inbox.
Brittni.

Q: Why did you part ways from your first love? Your personal stories will help with my issue. Thank you. Please feel free to go into as many details as you want or leave it as vague as you choose.

wow this is so ironic, i was actually just talking to my friend about this. she is just beginning to try to get over her first love, so i was telling her about how i still felt about mine...
Anyway, I was madly in love with a guy about 2.5 years older than me, my parents did not like the idea of us seeing one another, i snuck around to see him and my parents finally accepted my feelings towards him, we dated for about 4.5 months. I gave myself to him because i had fallen madly in love with him. He introduced me not only to love but heartbreak, one night we were suppose to see each other and he never called me. My friend flipped out and took my phone secretly calling him, i was a mess, i figured wow was he ignoring me because i slept with him? I went to his webpage saw i wasnt even on his top friends (yes sounds ridiculous but it meant something to me given the fact he was talking to his ex) So i sent him a message. The next day he called back complaining about the message i sent him, of course i gave in apologizing, even though i know now i did nothing wrong. Then later he called again accusing me of being with another guy, this broke my heart ( yes there was a guy who liked me, but i love the guy i was with) So he didnt believe me, then he called again saying hey lets forget this ever happened, we made plans to hang out and all so he could actually meet my friends which he never did. He then canceled those plans with me, i asked him what are we, what do you want us to be, he said just friends, I WAS A WRECK. Over the next 2 days we talked online and he said he wanted to see me so i of course wanted to see him, we hang out, him manipulating my thoughts making me think we could work it out saying he still loves me calling me on the phone at night. Then about a week later he calls me after school and says your not going to like this but im dating my ex again, i simply said whatever makes you happy. It's like the world stopped for that moment, everything ended. it was just me standing there like an idiot. We talked for awhile after that he wanted to see me but i didnt see him because i couldnt just be friends with him at least at that point. He would still call on a private number so i would answer, he would send me back emails i sent him about how much i loved him asking if i remembered writing that, i moved past him, it been 2 years, sure to this day yes i still do miss him, yes i still do even love him after all he put me through. He taught me so much and made me stronger, made me stop being naive, helped me shape who i am today, from that experience i matured into a woman, but most of all i thank him for letting me love him and for making me feel loved.

a first love is not something you ever truly get over, they remain with you. "you never stop loving somebody, you just start loving somebody else"

anything i can help you with feel free to ask.
Brittni

Q: im 15/f. i shy and have a hard time talking to guys....just so u kno im not one of those weird people u kno who tlk to there cat but,i havent ever had a boyfriend...i dont think im bad looking im 5'0 and a little chubby but i can still wear a bikini and look in it..well i have semilong brown razor cut style hair and blue eyes...i wear hollister and stuff like that...but now i sound like im writing a single person seeking a person ad...but, i still cant figure out why im single

believe it or not when a guy chooses a girlfriend it is more than looks that just have a play in it, its personality. From what ive read it just seems like you need to branch out and talk to boys, sure it maybe difficult for you but it will get you noticed taking you to the next level. Just be yourself, make casual conversation like you would with your other friends, music, movies, etc. Once you start a conversation it really isnt that difficult to uphold its just getting to that level of feeling comfortable speaking with that other person. Honestly, guys are so easy going so it shouldnt be hard to just talk to them about anything joke around a bit, i should know ive been that girl who always just clicked with the guys.

anything else i can help you with please ask.

good luck
Brittni

Q: Hi
my boyfriend and I cant find the perfect love "song" for us two .

can you help us?

email me at ositos11@aim.com if you have any ideas of a song
thanks sooo much!

i sent the answer to your e-mail.

Q: i don't really like driving with other people, well besides my best friends because there are always awkward silences! like when you're with a boy you like, and you are driving and he is in the passenger seat, it's like we don't really talk? and it's just an awkward silence, and sometimes i will be like "whats wrong" just to say something but i just don't know how to not have awkward silences? it's fine when we're together like at someone's house, but while driving it is really awkward sometimes. does this happen to anyone else? what do you usually say, or do? thanks :)! 18/f by the way

believe me girl ive been there with people, i use to feel like i had to fill up the gap of silence with conversation so it wouldnt be so strange. what helps me is turning on the radio, you can get a conversation started up about music, or fooling around with an ipod and seeing what kind of artists he likes that you like. also you can talk about something outside, or you can come up with a cheesy game like around christmas we would see who can find the most christmas lights up, be creative. even if there is some silence believe me its okay, just be calm and collective, sometimes silence is a good thing because it shows the other person is comfortable being with you without having to talk 24/7.

give it a try
brittni

Q: he called me by my friend's name 3 times yesterday at school. He had been flirting with my friend before this, a lot. both of them had. He is thinks leona lewis is fine and hott, and he told my friend, infront of my face, that she looked like leona lewis. It was the most uncomfortable thing ever because he is obsessed with leona. We don't hang out accept school because he can't hang with girls until he's 16. I'm so sick of him. Are these reasons good enough to dump him?

YES, if you are having any doubts that is the best thing to do and it sounds from what you wrote here that he has little respect for you. Especially if he is flirting with your friends that is completely rude not to mention immature. Most likely if you let him keep going and flirting with your friends like that he wont stop he'll think its perfectly acceptable and it will only progress into something worse. If you're sick of him get rid of him, there are other guys who can treat you a heck of a lot better believe me.

GOOD LUCK
Brittni

Q: Okay well my ex-boyfriend and me only broke up because of my parents but we still love each other but i told him its going to be a long time before we go out but now he wants to go out with this other girl and he asked me if it was okay and the only reason he was going out with her is because i said it was going to be along time before we go out.So of course i told him its okay i don't care if he wants to go out with him, but i really still love him and don't want him to go out with her because i'm almost able to date again but when he told me that it changed my mind on telling him that. What should I do? Should I just tell him that he should go out with him and forget about or should I tell him that I don't want him to go out with her? Thank you for helping me its really appreciated(:

Okay in this case i would confront my boyfriend about dating another girl and give your position on the situation. If you honestly dont like the fact he is going to be dating somebody else let him know and if he truly cares/respects you he wont. Also pose an alternative say for example he wants to date another girl than tell him it would only be fair for you to see someone else, and ask him how he would feel about that, if he fully is in love with you he will wait for you just remember that and then there will be no stress about either of you seeing other people because you will be waiting for one another.

One question, why do your parents not want you to date this individual? ( Ive been there with my parents and there reason for them not wanting me to date a certain guy was because of his drug habits, in the long run they were right. but it was something i had to figure out myself.)

if you have anything else to ask about feel free

GOOD LUCK
Brittni

Q: Right, a few weeks ago i was at a party. The guy i like was there and we ended up making out. He poked me aswell. but now its like he wont talk to me. I really like him, and its really awquard at school cos we used to be good friends. All that night he was telling me he liked me, hugging me, kissing me and being really nice with me. But now its just like ?
What do i do? :S
x

just consider what i have to say below not saying that this is the exact reason but in most cases ive seen/been in it is..

Hate to break it to you, but in this case the guy came to party with one thing on his mind most likely getting some. Most guys after they do or dont get what they want wont talk to the girl because they figure there is no need to, its the one tract mind working they live for the moment and dont think about the consequences.

ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION:

i would try initiating a conversation with him just about something like class work if you're in his class or ask hows he doing and if things go well from there tell him you miss hanging out with him as friends and maybe plan something for that weekend. if he still is acting weird and not speaking with you i say forget it, he isnt a true friend then and you know what he wanted besides your friendship.

GOOD LUCK,
i hope you can work your friendship out back to the way things use to be.

Brittni

Q: me and this guy were messing around and he was making me watch football, and so i like got on top of him and straddled him and was like i'm gonna get you for making me watch this and i bit him, in the neck haha because he knows i hate football! and he was like your so mean! that hurt :( well now next time i want to like kiss his neck, i know i like when people do that to me but how do i do it? like do i kiss it like a "peck kiss" i don't want to necessarily give him a hickey and i don't really want to feel like i'm making out with his neck but i don't know if just plain kissing it will make him horny. what do you guys think? usually i'll get on top of him and give him a hug :) and then he will like hold me and i'll rub my hands through his hair but i want to be more into it!

17/f by the way

Honestly you cant over think these things you just got to in my terms go with the flow, because over thinking just makes things more difficult on yourself. I suggest you start by pecking his neck and make your way up to his lips and kiss him quickly and see how he reacts to this. Im sure he will be turned up trust me it doesnt take a lot to get a guy going and before you know it he'll be making the moves on you and all this worry about how to kiss his neck will be old news. Eventually you will find a way in which he likes his neck to be kissed with experimentation but you have to start somewhere. Normally a guy will flat out tell you he liked something such as .." hey i really liked the way you kissed my neck." or " that biting really turns me on." or he will tell you straight up when he doesnt like something guys are simple that way which is very nice. So just go for it and see where it takes you. And no the kissing on the forehead wasnt dorky he was just probably hoping you would kiss more than that haha.

GOOD LUCK!
Brittni.

Q: I invited my boyfriend(20years old) to come with me and my family on vacation to my grandparents house in the U.S for thanksgiving shopping. Now hes saying that he wont be able to come because he doesn't have enough money and if he leaves for 4 days his job will fire him before Christmas. Am i wrong to be upset about this? cause i really wanted him to come

i dont think your wrong to be upset about the whole situation but you have to remember your boyfriend has the responsibility to his job. Trust me ive been a waitress and i wouldnt be able to make it to family events on holidays because it was mandatory that i work them, i felt horrible but at the same time its hard now a days to find jobs with a flexible schedule. So just keep that in mind, im sure he feels just as upset as you do that he wont be able to spend the holiday with you. Make sure you let him know that you understand, just tell him you are upset that he will be unable to make it but, you understand that him keeping his job is important to him.

Brittni

Q: He loves me but he needs space. I don't know how to do that. I seriously can't stop...it is like an addiction. I love him so much and can't just stop talking to him. I am so worried that I am going to screw this whole relationship up if I don't stop!!!
Help me stop!!

its hard like with any addiction what you need to do is try to find something to get your mind off of him possibly spending time with your friends because i bet they've been feeling neglected due to your boyfriend. It is good that you recongize that this can potientially mess up a relationship (keep that in mind) think of it this way if you spend a few days apart the more you will want to see him, start gradually by seeing him less times a week make a night for you and your friends so he can spend time with his friends. This essentially will strengthen the bond that is between you two. BREAKING THIS ADDICTION BEGINS WITH YOU. remember that. Even though its hard do it for him if not yourself because of how much you love him.

GOOD LUCK,
BRITTNI.

Q: what are certain things i can do for a guy to get him going sexually. ya know :)

talking dirty is always good, show some skin, bite/lick your lip, rub his leg. Guys are extremely turned on by images, in one study i saw on the discovery channel it showed that guys are more likely to be aroused by sexual images than anything else. TRY IT OUT! Hopefully it works for you good luck ( i bet it will its not difficult)
love
brittni

Q: Ok. Please don't lecure me on this(i am not sure how you can...)
I am 14/f/ and i have more guy friends than Acutal boyfriends. You see i have never had a bf. i mean guys have asked me, it's not like i am the ugly duckling, but i say no. I don't know if you can really answer this question for me but at least try please.
Why do i keep on saying no? Are guys like scared cause of my guy friends? I really don't know i thought some genious out there somewhere could help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its perfectly normal to have more guy friends then girl friends i myself do, girls just cause too many issues while guys are more laid back and get to the point. The reason you are probably saying no is because you are nervous and may not be ready to commit to someone for an extended period of time. So just go out on a group date, flirt have fun. You have plenty of time to have a boyfriend. Now the reason somes guys may not be asking is because they may think that your guy friends like/ are with you. Normally guys assume if a guy is friends with you they like you and you are their girl and some guys dont mess with that. But if you would like/feel ready you could go approach a guy you like and ask him out on a date or get one of your guy friends to talk to them for you to figure out if they are interested, but if not as i said above you have plenty of time. GOOD LUCK WITH THE BOYS.

Q: you know how guys always call their girlfriend "my girl"?
well what would girls call their boyfriends,besides "my guy" because thats dumb

some people say my man, or my beau (old fashioned), my boyfriend, the guy in my life, sweetheart, my(insert name), the love of my life, my one and only, etc. things along those lines.

Q: (Sorry this is a little bit long!)

I'm just starting a new relationship with a guy, Robert. He is ten years my senior, super intelligent, heaps of fun to be around and has his life together, from what I can tell.

We have fooled around and had a bit of sex, but not much because I'm not on any contraception at the moment (and like most guys, Robert really hates condoms). I'm looking forward to going on the pill because I think we will have great sex together.

Here comes the bad part: my last partner had an absolutely HUGE penis (it was like a small tree trunk!!). It was totally out of proportion to his body as he was very short and thin. My 5 month "relationship" with him was a joke, however. We had pretty good sex to start with, but then I started to find it painful, and I realised didn't really like him that much as a person! I found him boring and shallow. I had no qualms breaking things off with him - a big penis was definitely not enough for me!

I had told Robert about my ex at some stage, saying the relationship was purely physical and I was never that into him. This was a BIG mistake. Robert wouldn't let it go. He asked me questions about it. I should have refused to answer them but stupidly I didn't. Eventually he asked, "Did he have a really big willy or something?" and I didn't say anything (wish I'd said no!). He keeps asking me about it, and last night, he even said, "How big was it?", which I refused to answer.

Robert has apologised for asking, but he said he feels we can't move on with our relationship until he knows. I've tried to reassure him that I really wasn't that into my ex but he is fixated on the big penis thing. Robert is above average in the penis department, by the way, but now he has a complex about it!

Now I am awaiting this conversation Robert wants to have with my about my ex, where he will no doubt repeat the size question. What should I do? Should I back-track and lie? I'm scared if I tell Robert the truth or avoid the conversation all together, I will lose him, but I'm also scared that telling him the truth will make his complex even worse and drive us apart :(

what i would do would be tell him the truth about the guys penis size, just explain to robert that your previous guys penis was too big for your liking(explain how you did here as big as a tree trunk) reassure him that you love him and all should be well and tell him you are excited to futher your sex life/relationship with him. After that i dont see why he would harp on this situation. GOOD LUCK.

bio

Hello there the names Brittni, I decided to make a site on advicenators because i wanted to help others with their struggles, its a passion of mine, i hope one day to achieve my dream of opening a center for teens. Let it be known that i will never judge you based on a question you ask, i will simply give you an answer i find fitting, but dont expect me to candy coat my answer, im going to be honest. In the past i have been faced with many difficult things and looking back i am confident i made the right decisions. I've been through a lot personally, i've heard a lot, I've seen a lot, I've grown a lot. Heck, i know im not perfect but im the best version of myself i can be which is perfection in my eyes. I know sometimes speaking to someone you know about your issue is hard, trust me i've been there. Just like i have helped others i am here to help you with the best intentions. So i am here for you if you need me.

never feel hesitant when asking me a question, leave me one in my inbox and i will get back to you as soon as possible.