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Previous partner's penis size
(Sorry this is a little bit long!)
I'm just starting a new relationship with a guy, Robert. He is ten years my senior, super intelligent, heaps of fun to be around and has his life together, from what I can tell.
We have fooled around and had a bit of sex, but not much because I'm not on any contraception at the moment (and like most guys, Robert really hates condoms). I'm looking forward to going on the pill because I think we will have great sex together.
Here comes the bad part: my last partner had an absolutely HUGE penis (it was like a small tree trunk!!). It was totally out of proportion to his body as he was very short and thin. My 5 month "relationship" with him was a joke, however. We had pretty good sex to start with, but then I started to find it painful, and I realised didn't really like him that much as a person! I found him boring and shallow. I had no qualms breaking things off with him - a big penis was definitely not enough for me!
I had told Robert about my ex at some stage, saying the relationship was purely physical and I was never that into him. This was a BIG mistake. Robert wouldn't let it go. He asked me questions about it. I should have refused to answer them but stupidly I didn't. Eventually he asked, "Did he have a really big willy or something?" and I didn't say anything (wish I'd said no!). He keeps asking me about it, and last night, he even said, "How big was it?", which I refused to answer.
Robert has apologised for asking, but he said he feels we can't move on with our relationship until he knows. I've tried to reassure him that I really wasn't that into my ex but he is fixated on the big penis thing. Robert is above average in the penis department, by the way, but now he has a complex about it!
Now I am awaiting this conversation Robert wants to have with my about my ex, where he will no doubt repeat the size question. What should I do? Should I back-track and lie? I'm scared if I tell Robert the truth or avoid the conversation all together, I will lose him, but I'm also scared that telling him the truth will make his complex even worse and drive us apart :(
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So how did it turn out?
Like a tree trunk?!!! Wow. If he was short and thin then that thing must have looked like a baseball bat. lol
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I think he is testing you for trust.Of course he is bothered by the size, but he knows that it was past and now, he wants to know if he can trust you in future. It is more a question of buliding a partnership,trust than the size.
I agree with most advice that you should tell him the truth. Be calm and be serious and assure him at all times that was past and he is the important man in your life for his intalligence and humour which far out weigh the size of a penis. He needs to feel why he is special over the other guy, for him to get over his complex penis issue and only way is to assure him him why you chose him over the other.
You know his personality, so choose your words carefully and good luck.
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Well, you need to tell him the truth. Tell him: "Yes, he did. But the point was the relationship was a failure because there was no attraction to his personality." I can't see what your ex's penis size has anything to do with anything. I mean, everyone knows size doesn't matter; it's how it's put to use. All you can do is reassure him that you are interested in him & him only. & if he can't accept that & be secure, then this relationship won't last for too much longer.
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i think that you should just tell him the truth. tell him that your ex did have a pretty large penis, but that it was painful to you during sex. tell him that his size is perfect for you, and that he has nothing to worry about because your totally into him(or so it sounds) and that you would rather have sex with someone his size as opposed to your ex's size because he was too big. something along those lines. if you assure him that you dont like your ex's penis better than his, im sure it will be fine!=]
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Well... As I have never seen this type of question before- I knew I had to answer, because it ISN'T about questioning whether you're pregnant or not.
So.. enough with my blabbing, and onto my advice! That is what my answer should be anyway, but I like to connect with questioners and make them feel comfortable..
Advice: I suggest you just tell him. He isn't going to let this go- and lying to him will only make it worse. If you can't be upfront and honest about one silly little thing [at least to me, its silly.. sorry if that's offensive], then how can you possibly move forward in this relationship. If you just let him know, he'll probably forget about it and you two can move on live happily ever after.. at least for as long as you would like.
Just let him know the whole truth... that his size affected your relationship too much, and that you're happy with his size [and hopefully you are]. Let him know that your past relationship shouldn't affect your relationship right now. You love him [at least I hope you do ;-)] and you're with him. THAT is what TRULY matters.
=]
--Jack
(15/m)
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what i would do would be tell him the truth about the guys penis size, just explain to robert that your previous guys penis was too big for your liking(explain how you did here as big as a tree trunk) reassure him that you love him and all should be well and tell him you are excited to futher your sex life/relationship with him. After that i dont see why he would harp on this situation. GOOD LUCK.
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