Kaye2918's advice column | Kaye2918's Advice About Love Life

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Q: Ok so me and my boyfriend live about 40 min apart and he has a job. Needless to say, we only see eachother like once or twice a week. Anyway, that leaves us texting pretty much everyday throughout the day. I'm just wondering why is it that, when texting, if I happen to text back slow (10-20min) he gets pissed at me, yet, he sometimes takes up to an hour to text me back and always says "i hope your not mad" or something like that. So, it's ok for him to do it but I can't? What is that about?? He told me flat out that he's the jealous type of guy, does that have anything to do with it?

Him being can have something to do with it but it doesn't it's okay for him to do that to you because you know that your not doing anything wrong so he needs to get over it. Also I don't to start a fight between you guys but you need to tell him that he needs to relax and just like sometimes he might be busy and can't text you; you have priorities too. I'm just saying because I used to be like that and I used to get mad at my ex for not testing me back until one day I sat and thought about it and he had 2 jobs so he was busy a lot and he couldn't text me the second he recieved my text messages. Sorry to blab but yeah let him that sometimes you can't attend to the phone as quick as he wants you to because there are days that he can't either. Hope I helped a little...

Q: HEy ok so my boyfriend and i broke up like 2 months ago now in school we sit RIGHT next to eachother and like he will always turn and look at me and i will say what and he will smile and look away what is he trying to say?!?! oh and then other times hes all flirty with other girls:( haha ok plzz help!

First of all sitting next to an ex is always hard, but nontheless its livable. Then the fact that he keeps turning around and looking at you seems like he like to mess with you. Also the fact that he's single gives him a reason to flirt with other girls...now it doesn't mean that he's doing it to bother you or maybe he is...well if he is then the only reason he would be doing that to show you he can do it nothing big but all you have to do is ignore him and don't give him the time of day. Soon enough he'll get tired of it and move on. Hope I helped a little with this issue.=)

Q: okay so im in love with my ex boyfriend still and he still loves me but says he doesn't want to go out with me again because we fight too much. i have tried to plea with, do i just give up? any quotes or advice would be good.

Of course you should let go its not right for you to be doing that to yourself.It's clear to me that he is only playing games with you don't continue with heart break just stop hurting yourself and fine focus on something else that is important in your life. Lke mine would be catching up on my painting. Guys like that don't desirse the time of day girls like us give them. I didn't say much but I do hope that I helped a little.

Q: I have been in a 6 month long relationship with my girlfriend. Over the time I have realized she doesn't respect who I really am and seems to degrade me for it.

She's pulling me away from my music (which I enjoy and want to make a career out of), insults my friends (who mean allot to me and helped me through so much hard times) and wants me to cut my hair and shave my beard (I'm a huge hippie).

It seems to her, everything is wrong with me, and she is absoloutely perfect. I am just a disgrace.

I feel she wants to make me the kind of guy which I REALLY HATE which will make her happy yet me lifeless and miserable, not feeling HAPPY.

What is your opinion on this?

If she knew how you were and looked before you guys started this relatiionship then what would be the problem now. I don't think it's correct of her trying to change important things about you. I believe she wants to feel like she has total control of your life and the way you look. She needs to understand that friends are very important because god forbbid you guys break up and you have no one to turn to. You need sit her down and tell her how you feel. I was in a very controling relationship and I lost so many good friends I was sad for a long time. Because of my ex I cut off to guys that were like my brothers and now I dont know where find them. Your music is very important to you and you shouldn't change for no one. It makes me sad to read that you are with someone that isn't right for you. I would do what I did and get out of that relationship if not then talk to her and make her understand where your coming from. Hope I helped shine some light in this dilema.

Q: so there is a guy i like at school. im not sure if i should tell him or not. i talk to him sometimes in two of my classes but thats pretty much it. I think about telling him every night. I just dont know if he would feel the same way. I dont want him to stop talking to me if he doesnt feel the same way. Also i dont know how i could tell him because im shy and cant just tell him. He hasnt really dated any girls either. Girls like him and all but he just isnt into them. I asked him awhile ago if he liked anybody he said no and i asked him if would date anybody from our school he shrugged his shoulders and said i dont know and asked me why i was beating around the bush. I just dont wanna tell him and get hurt. Its our senior year anyways, but i cant stop thinking about him. what do you think?

Have you not heard of not regreting anything you do. I would tell him because if you asked him if he would date anyone and he shrugged his sholders and asked you why your beating around the bush uh yeah dude is interested in what you have to say. Try asking him out he seems undesisive so he'll probaly say idk and guess what you say before that...you say it's a yes or no question. Haha tha is so cute becuase I got with a guy like that my freshman year in high school and I got a yes plus I did it over paper yeah it was dorky but hey I got what I wanted. So yeah um ask him out I doubt that he will stop talking to you over this I mean its senior year you got to make the best of it. Hope I didn't sound mean and I helped you in your dilema.

Q: I've been with ky boyfriend for 10 months. We met in a arts program during the school year. At the time I was 14 and he was 17. I am now 15 turning 16 and he is now 18 turning 19. I love him with all my heart and he treats me the way I should be treated. All my past relationships weren't great at all, but when I met him I showed me how I should be treated. When I'm with him the world stops. Now, I got in trouble with me parents and my dad called him and told him that we culdnt be together anymore. He and I made a promise that we wouldn't let anything get in break us apart. But my dad can see when I sneak and call on the bill. What do I do?

It all depends on what you did. Not to mention your bf is 18 so if your dad really doesnt want you to be with him he could bring out the minor card on you. It's so sad that your put in this position because was once there myself. What I did was talk to my mom and I told her that one way or another I was going to see him and that I wasn't doing anything wrong. If the reason why you got in trouble has nothing to do with your bf tell your dad. Um tell your bf to walk you to school or walk you home I mean you wont be sending endless time with him but you get to see him. If you truely believe that nothing and no one can take you away from your bf do what you want to do. Don't let anyone get in the way I didn't I mean my dad totally disaproves of my bf and I'm still with him and he comes to my house every day then again I'm 18 myself but yeah don't cry over spilt milk keep seeing him talk to him on the phone text him put him under a different name if you want. Haha I do it all the time sneak around plus that way it makes it more fun for you. Hope I helped a little.=)

Q: my boyfriend hits me and i love him alot he wasnt like this before we meant i dont know why hes like that he throws me his ipod he phone anything he can get right away we have a bby now and i love her but i dnt know what happen what i do for him to start hitting me i dnt want to break up i want help

If theres one thing I learned being with an abusive boyfriend is that they don't show you their true colors after they feel you wont leave them. I had an abusive boyfriend before but he only hit me once. The abuse I got from him was he always put my self-esteem down. I loved him more than anything in the world and I only saw myself with him. I thought I wanted I baby with him and when I told him about it he was rude and shut down that idea. I feel deeply for you cause I know how confused you are but if theres one thing I know is that there are other guys out there that will treat you better this guy is not worth all that pain. Don't do that to yourself think about it do you want your baby growing up with this evirenment. Don't be selfish and thing about yourself think about your baby and want you going to put her through being in this terrible relationship...if you can call it that. My advice is don't be dumb and leave him take him to court and get child support on his ass. You don't need I garenttee that you will be more happy my sister is and I am too I found someone who loves me and treats me right. The good guys arent gone plus being single is better for you right now because you have a baby and I bet your smart enough to take care of yourself. Hopefully I helped you shine some light in your dilema. I hope you do the right thing for yourself and your baby.=)

Q: ok so this is the deal. im 14/f and me an this kid really like eachother. were gonna hang at the movies(not for a first date because we have hungout before) and we both know we wanna kiss eachother but idk how far i should let him go or i dont even no how we should kiss. i needd helpp for all those people who have stepped foot in my shoes beforee! thanks :)

Okay your only 14 so you shouldn't be letting any boy go far. It's okay to kiss but don't do anything else because guys useually take that as a ticket to take avantage of you trust me I've been there. When it happened to me it broke my heart cause I looked really bad to guys. Don't let guys take advantage of your feelings and think that your some object its not fair to you. Plus its only a date he's not your boyfriend. You don' want to look skanky I know that sounds bad but guys at that age think that way.

Q: Well first off, I broke up with this guy that was a 100% my type and I was really falling far him. My type of guy is the one thats athletic, preppy, talkative, respectful, pretty boy kind of guy. Everything about him was perfect and our families got along perfectly, but he lived an hour away. Then I always see girls on his facebook and he would get tagged in photos of him with other girls. So I ended, but I still think about him constantly.. Then another thing there's this guy named Dylan his the total opposite of all the things i'm use to in a guy. His rock style, listens to screamo, just total opposite of what i'm use too. I take a lot of classes with him, and I tell him everything about what goes on with me because I feel like I can trust him. We recently just started getting super close, I call him my partner in crime in classes because we always laugh and cut up in classes that teachers have to move us. He smokes weed then the other night I was on webcam with him and I told him how I really care about him and know that his smart enough not to do that. He liked smiled and got real quite whenever I told him I care about him. He also told me how he really likes me and he doesn't want to lose me. I'm really starting to get that feeling everytime I talk to him too, I just don't know how it would work out though because I know that his far from what i'm use to dating.. We don't even hang out with the same people, and I know my dad wouldn't approve my mom thinks his really cute though. I'm just so confused because of how much I really liked my ex and my dad really liked him which I have to have my dads approval on a guy and thats the kind of guy everyone in my family is like and Dylan just the total opposite so I have no idea on what to do..

You remind me of myself because I've been through that. Look it never hurts to try new things I mean if you like this guy then try it out with him I mean I know you say he's not the type of guy your used to its okay why not try another type rather then stay with the same type and already know what comes next you know what I mean? Well about the dad thing I also know what your talking about because my dad liked my ex you know he used to tell me he seems like he's gonna do good things. I have a new boyfriend now and my dad told me I could do better then him it kinda made me sad in the begining but think about it who is the one dating the guy. One thing I leanred was one parent sooner or later will disappove of a guy we date but all that really matters is if we like him and we approve of him. I'm not saying go behind your dads back just explain your situation tell him you want to try something new and about your ex well theres a reason why you guys arent together anymore think about that I did and I'm really glad I chose my current boyfriend cause he gets a long with my family now and they take him out alot. Hopefully you choose what makes you the most happy.=)xoxo

Q: I really love my boyfriend but hes changing on me too much and its really taking a toll on our relationship.He recently stopped smoking (which is a good thing) but at the same time he decided to go on a raw vegan diet.Im happy for him changing his diet but he gets out of hand. Hes always judging me telling me I should eat that certain way.That people that are raw vegan are so much better.When I try to tell him to let me eat how I want he just calls me ignorant and says its not your fault its the food you eat.I told him its not right too think hes better than everyone else but he seems to think hes perfect ever since he chose that lifestyle I don't know if I want to be with him sometimes I love him I just wish he wouldn't act like he was right all the time. I thought about trying the diet just to stop the fighting but I cant't right now because im pregnant. Im also scared he will act like this towards our child. There is too much change going on right now what should I do? How can I make things better? I've talked to him but he just always wants to be right.

If you've tried to talk to him and he seems to be stuck in his little perfect world all you have to do is remind him of his faults and things he used to do so that he can see that he's not perfect. Another thing I used to be with someone that thought he was right all the time and it bothered me...seriousely it's a turn off. I don't think that the fact that your pregnant should keep you with him trust me you don't need all that extra stress. I know I've been there and unfortunately for me I ended up heart broken so honestly girl...don't this to yourself take a break and maybe he'll stop acting like such a douchebag. Hope I helped shine some light in your issue...=)xoxo

Q: 16/F

So, I asked a question a while back about liking this guy who's the same age as my sister (14) and I think I officially like him because I can't get him out of my head. Every time I see his name on my chat list, I get super happy and I've talked to him for 12 hours straight before. We have so much in common and we agree on a lot of things. We went to a play together (with my other friend, M) And she was urging me to flirt with him, problem is... I'm super shy and I just couldn't do it. The entire time, though, his arm was touching mine and my heart was pounding like crazy!
So, I've decided that I want to try asking him out... And this weekend I'm having a movie night, he's invited. I was thinking of trying to do it there? Any tips on asking a guy out? I need help, because I'm horribly shy and I'm so nervous...

Dude if you guys have talked that much then i say go for it because i think he does really feel some thing for you. Come on try something new and ask him dont be afraid the worst that can happen is him saying no. If that does happen then whatevers move on to the next life is to short for us girls to be gloomy for a guy.

Q: This might be a bit long. Sorry :)

Well, i like my friend ( we've both liked eachother before- complicated). But i dont know if he likes me and i kinda think my other friend likes him- but im not sure, just the way she acts when hes around or when his name gets menetioned. And last year, his friend told me he liked her too but he kept denying it and promised me he didnt. So i want to find out who he liked without outright asking him or him knowing i like him.

Thanks :) (not as long as i thought)

I know because i to have liked my friend and we both did like each other at one point. My other friend liked him as well and i knew it. So i think he dosent want to tell you the truth because as you say your friends and he may not want to hurt you or may not want to ruin the friendship you two have. I say ask him straight out truthfull and honestly.

Q: So I'm in high school and there's this guy in the class that I t.a. for. I know for a fact that we have things in common but he's terribly shy. He hardly ever talks to people unless he is close to them. When I first noticed him i immediately thought he was attractive and have since discovered our similar interests. I have been sneaking peaks at him and smiling and he has been smiling back...sometimes i see him in the hall and we smile. The class switched seats and he sits right next to me now! I tried to talk to him and got some positive response but it ended in an awkward silence...But he is really fidgety and he often looks over at me and laughs when something funny happens. He also smiles at me all the time when our eyes meet. I want to get closer to him and actually hold a conversation but I just don't want him to feel awkward. I'm generally open and friendly but sometimes these situations make me nervous. How do I casually get to know him better without making awkward converstaion and weird situations? I was thinking of just saying hi to him everyday and maybe seeing if it results in any conversation. Suggestions?? Thanks!

Haha I've had one of those um if he plays sports ask him about it. um yeah say hi to him when you see him in the hall. If you have things in common you could comment on it and try to make it funny. If hes shy just be like "thats cute" haha it hepls me all the time when I want to get someone attention.

Q: I have the best boyfriend in the world. We have an excellent friendship, partnership, our personalities are very alike. We have been together over 2 years. I think like most couples we started out having the greatest sex life imaginable. Things have really slowed down. He says he is still attracted to me, still loves me. He has no concrete reason as to why things have changed. I am hurt and feel really sad. I feel like he has lost interest in me although he assures me this is not the case. He is 46 and works full-time. I don't know what to do. I have tried to initiate things and that doesn't work. He seems fine in every other way. What do I do?

Sometimes that could happen because that happened with me and my boyfriend of two years. If you say that he works full time he might tired when he comes home. Um what I did when that happened to me was I asked my boyfriend to take a day off work and just spend it with me. I didn't expect to have sex but we were having so much fun one thing lead to another and we had the best sex we had in a long time.

Q: Me: 15/F/soph. Him: 17/M/junior. My ex boyfriend and I have had such a horrible past. And it's made up of three parts: a very destructive/dysfunctional relationship, messy break up, and a very confusing "friendship" that has followed. Starting with the relationship part. He and I have a VERY strong physical attraction. We started off like a perfect couple. Got along, were cute and what not. When we started getting physical things changed. He got mean and hurtful and I became whipped and miserable. We were both miserable bbut he told me he loved me and at that point we had been dating for 6 months. We would fight constantly cause I'd get jealous and clingy and he'd flirt with every girl he saw. But when we hooked up, holy shit you couldn't separate us with a crow bar. He would always pressure me to go farther ehich I wouldn't want to do but with his persuasion (words and ahem... Body) I gave him a hjs and eventually a bj and be fingers me. Keep in mind I was 14 at the time and he was 16. Bad idea to go that far. It only mare our weird relationship weirder. Second part: When we finally broke up he did it in a text, I said "fuck you" he said je only liked me for my body which I guess I kinda knew but I was actually in love with him ... It hurt like hell. That was in may. And through the entire summer I'd say I cried myself to sleep 90% of the time. Somewhere in our dysfunctional relationship I lost myself in him. I didnt know who I was anymore. And he was still a dick!! One day he'd say he couldn't stand me and the next he'd say he regret what he did. It didnt make sense. One day towards the end of summer he tried to apologize.for everything. But I was so hurt... I couldn't accept it. Good thing too. Cause school started an we ignored eachother till about justrecently. He's in my study hall and things are so complicated. He brought up the night he called to apologize. He told me he was playing a video game the whole time and just did it (apologize) to get me to "shut up" even though we hadn't been talking for like a month? He saidsome big things in that conversation. Like that he never wanted to hurt me, didn't like me just cause of the hooking up, that'd he'd handled things wrong and he was sorry. It for some reason kills me that he bullshitted the whole thing. He was treating it like a joke too! He was laughing like it was hilarious that I was crying on one end of phone and he was playing what? Call of duty on the other? HES A DOUCHEBAG right? Well guess what. I still like the asshole. He'll make a lot of jokes now about our relationship like, dirty jokes, bringing up the stuff we did back then. And I don't think he knows that I'm not over him. That I broke up with my last bf cause I couldn't stop thinking about him. That I still love him after all this. And it hurts! Cause he's moved on... He's benn dating this girl (but all his friends say it's gonna fizzle fast. Even her friends say it. He's just confusing me. I want to talk to him about all of this, or at least just the part about how I don't like the jokes but I fe uncomfortable doing that when he's dating someone... I'm SOOOOO lost. Please help! I need to know what I'm feeling what to do and what the he'll is going on in my head!!!!!

Oh my god this guy is a total crack head. What!!!!! He is disrespecting you and your letting him If I were my old self I would have made him look bad on facebook or something. Yes talk to him about what hes doing don't tell him you still love him. Tell him how it makes you feel when he talks about your intimate life you had with him you know what yeah I let myself go for a guy once and he totally trashed me so bad I had to move schools for a time but you know what think about it hes stupid and don't think about the girl hes dating I feel sorry for her but no you put things right, dont care about his feelings what the hell. Put things straight and if he still is acting dumb then ignore what he says and I know that would be hard but cut him off. Don't talk to him girl that is a big NO NO!!!!!! He needs a wake up call and a chill pill...he is a jerk don't talk to him at all!!!!!! That is hurting you and you know it. I can help you further but i would have to give you my number or my facebook my name is Kenia Prieto look for me If you want more help from me. good luck with that guy

Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years long distance. Recently he made a new girl "friend" in his hometown and they quickly became buddies and confidants about deep and spiritual topics. When I was in his town he took me to meet her and she acted like she knew him better than me, threw her arms around him, and even called him a pet name! He says she is just dramatic and it is in her nature. After speaking to her a few times i admit I kind of like her myself but it still bothers me to think of them having deep talks and spending time together when I am not around....He assures me he has no interest in her romantically or sexually... and voluntarily has scaled way back from seeing her because he saw it bothered me.
Well ironically...not planned... I have been involved in a deepening friendship of my own here in my town with a guy who shares a lot of my deep interests. It has been entirely platonic and now I am beginning to understand my bf's perspective because he is flipping out about my new guy friend!! My first instinct is to let the new guy friend go... but then we may be setting ourselves up for a small world especially if we must have a life when we are in different towns. My other option is to keep my guy friend and let my bf have his gal friend and learn to be secure and trusting and let go of jealousy. Why is this so difficult?

I totally understand how you feel because thats how it was when I was with my ex. He had this really close friend and it bothered me a lot when they would hang out but when I thought about it I realized that I'm a girl that has so many guy friends and all of them are like my brothers and I couldn't put myself in a situation where I couldn't hang out with them because I have a boyfriend. So what I did was let him keep his friend and I kept mine and everything was fine. I new that he couldn't find anyone like me and think about it you guys have been together in different towns for three years that has to show you how much you mean to him. Talk about it with him and point out that you guys are in a strong relationship most people couldn't take the long distance thing. Another thing just because you guys keep your friends does not mean you can go crazy and make your friends more important than each other that could be a problem. (By the way me and my bf broke up for a tatally different reason it had nothing to do with girls haha just throwing that out there.)

Q: Hi I'm a teenager. I liked this guy or a long time and now he is starting to like me. The thing is I don't like him anymore. He texts me and facebook chats me but I don't want to reply because I don't want to talk to him. The reason I don't like him anymore is because I got to know him and I like a funny out going guy. I feel bad for leading him on but I'm really not interested. What do I do?

That happens a lot so many times have I liked a guy and once I get to know him he is not the one I thought I wanted its okay to feel this way. The best thing you can do for him is tell him that you don't see him that way no need to get into drama over it just tell him that you thought you liked him but things are different now. Let him know that you want to be friends and it would be awesome to be friends because that way you have each other forever being in a relationship can loose you someone quick. Don't ignore him because that makes him think like he did something wrong and you know he didn't but does he know...yeah talk to him put things straight don't beat around the bush. Hope I helped a little

Q: Okay, so my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me a few days ago...I was devastated of course...I broke down crying in front of him. He told me I'm beautiful, sexy, smart, funny, all those wonderful things, but he says he went into this blindly, and just isn't ready to have a relationship with me...or anyone, because he has issues he needs to work out and to concentrate on raising his daughter. He also said that he never really felt any "love" for me, but just a strong friendship. He kept telling me how sorry he is and says he still cares about me and wants me in his life...I haven't spoken to him much, but one of the few times I did, he told me to call him whenever I was ready to hang out with him again...I want to, very very much, but I'm still very much in love with him...I also happen to work with him. When I saw him at work the other day, I just broke down crying and couldn't even look at him. I think that has pretty much ruined any chances I have of getting back together with him romantically, since guys seem to like 'strong' women, right? I don't know quite how to go about this. Has anyone else ever experienced this? What came out of it? Is there still a chance for us in your opinion?

I have been both in his place and your place so I know what I'm telling you that its not easy for him to see you like that. It's natural for you to feel bad and still want to be with him. He tells you he still wants you in his life and thats fine it shows that he's not a complete butt head and cares about you. Another thing you have to look at is if he tells you that he isn't ready to be with anyone at the moment its fine he's trying to avoide hurting you a lot more than your hurting right now. think about it. Well judging by expierence I'd say that maybe some day there could be a chance for you guys if hes ever willing to try it again but you most not put your hopes up and hold your breathe because there could be a chance of you guys just staying friends well only if you let it. See he wants to be friends and I understand that your not ready to see him that way talk to him tell him that you need time give yourself time and when your ready try the freindship thing you might find it a good thing because that way you have him in your life still. Hope this helps you make a choice your comfortable with.=)

Q: I'm a junior in highschool (17 years old) and I have an acquaintance who's a guy who I enjoy talking to every once in awhile during school. He's not exactly my guy friend persay, but we like to talk to each other during school. I've sort of developed a crush on him and I'm wondering if it would be possible to take it further by asking him out or something. Any ideas?

I would go for it because you never know taking a risk is sometimes a really good thing. I'm someone that makes choices and doesn't regret them. Another thing if your still a little uneasy about asking him out check out the way he is...what I mean is guys sometimes show signs of interest in someone. He just might feel the same way you do. When you feel like you got enough information then go for it and ask him out whats the worse that could happen? Hope my advice works for you...it works most of the time for me.+)

Q: Hey I was just wonder if there are any way to tell if a guy likes u? even if they don't flirt or stare alot how else can you tell? I really need help thanks(: How do u make a guy like you without looking like your trying?
Thanks(:

If a guy likes you he can give you hints like noticing the little things you do. Another way you can tell if he likes you is him smiling a lot when you guys talk. He doesn't have to stare at you all the time but if you take notice and glance...if he's smiling non-stop that means he is enjoying his time with you hence he likes you. However if you want him to start liking you all you have to do is be yourself and if he thinks all the goofy things you do is cute you know that your attempt is working out. Haha just be yourself give him compliments and the cats in the bag. o_-

bio

My name is Kaye and I have questions myself about my life but then again I have expirenced many obsticles with relationships I've had in the past so I know if there is someone out there with questions or concerns about partner problems I can help. Helping people is my thing so please anyone can seek my help and I will do my best to answer anything that is asked of me. I know how it feels to be stuck and not know where to go.