about

Hey Guys!!! Well...I am 14 Years old and I live in Redlands, California. I have alot of things going on in my life right now that I'm sure you guys do too!!! I really like helping people, and I've helped some of my friends out of situations that are pretty tough, and I am a very good listener. I also like to read alot, so It's ok to write me looooooong questions...It's all good with me. Well, I love you guys and I hope that I am a help to you!!! ByeSsSsSsSsSs!!!
PS: I try to answer your questions within a couple of days....you shouldn't have to wait very long for an answer, I PROMISE!!! :-P

advice

Okay I have this guy friend who is one if my best friend's boyfriend and i was talking to her today. She said she wanted to dump him and said she wants to be single again. I know he will be heartbroken. How do I help him through his hard times without completely dumping one of my best girlfriend's?

Well first of all tell your friend to keep the option of "friends" open between her soon-to-be-ex. boyfriend and her. Also if she does even break up with him, you don't have to dump one of your best girlfriends just to help her ex. through a hard time. You can still be her friend, just make sure you give them equal ammounts of support. When he needs to talk, be available. When she needs to talk, be available also. Just don't get too involved with it, or else you'll be accused of choosing "sides"...and that is NEVER a good thing. Good Luck!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok well there is this guy and his name is Josh..we have liked each other a lot for a while..and he asked me out and of course i said yes..well we went out for a day then he broke up with me and claimed that he didnt want a girlfriend right now. Well after that he stopped talking to me. And i do not know why he did this because we only went out for a day and it shouldn't be awkward at all really!! and i want to know..how do i get him to talk to me? because im not the type to go up and talk to him if he doesnt want to talk to me! people say he still likes me and he didnt break up with me cuz he didnt like me or ne thing..he just didnt want his relationship with me to end like his other g/f's did (they went out for 9 months and then never talked after) so how do i get him to talk to me?

OMGSH!!! This sounds exactly like a situation between me and my friend(We used to be more than friends)!!! Well...here's how it all went down...I was pissed like no other mother, and I was constantly trying to find ways for him to notice me. He never talked to me, I never talked to him...and it was very uncomfortable whenever we were around eachother. Well, then summer came and we never talked to eachother even once during the whole summer. But one day he talks to me and says "can we start over?". So I said yes...of course, lol. And ever since then we have been really good friends. We even hang-out every once in a while. And do you know what he said to me? He said that he wanted to make up and he never ment to hurt me...he just didn't want it to get any worse, so really this guyfriend of yours is probably thinking that he wants to make up with you...he just probably thinks that you are way too mad at him to talk to him. Which is the only reason that my guyfriend didn't talk to me sooner. As much as we may think that guys are assholes...they really are just very confused and not looking to commit to anything major. They like to go with the flow, ya know? LoL. Anyways what I am trying to say is...don't feel bad like I did, because NOW YOU KNOW what is going on inside that little pea brain of his. Just stay away from him for a while and DONT act mad...make him miss you. Keep it simple and give him a cute little "look what you're missing out on" smile every once in a while!!! Eventually he will talk to you...If not, then take a risk and talk to HIM!!! Maybe he is more shy than you think. Remember...guys only TRY to be kool, they really suck...LoL! Just have fun with it, and don't try to hard...no one ever said that you had to play fair(wink wink)LoL, GOOD LUCK!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*
PS: I really want to know how this works out because it is really weird how similar your situation was to mine, so IM me sometime, my screenname is: HannaKL1800...LoL, my guyfriend is probably reading this and thinking I'm a bitch...LMAO!!! TTYL!!!

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Hi, I'm a girl, freshman, and I am 14.
I have been dating my boyfriend, who is 15, for about a month and three weeks. It was perfect at first and just went down. I don't know what happened. We went to the movies and had a great time, but it got worse and he stopped talking to me. I wondered what was wrong. My friends told me that he was a crack head and shouldn't go out with him, but I liked him so I didn't listen. We had tons of fun. I got tons of pictures with me and him together. I also have his sweater at home. But recently he has had a flirting problem and flirted with every girl in front of me. I got mad and sad and ended up getting my friends to talk to him for me. My friends said he was going to break up with me. I was so sad. Then they said he wanted to dump me because I'm too immature. My friend said he was cheating on me, but I wouldn't believe it. He also made me cry by joking around with me saying he would break up with me a few times and he told like a lot of people he made me cry at school.
Today my life ended and he dumped me. I ended up crying my heart out. After school I talked to him and asked why. He said I acted like a baby. I was sad. Then this girl came up and asked if he was coming to her house. I was shocked! I couldn't believe it. The next thing I knew they were walking around holding hands like lovers. I yelled FU at them, but I don't think they heard it. Then I was so pissed off. My bus came. I got on it. I was so mad and started yelling FU and flipping off everyone out of the bus window and started crying to death; thinking about that girl and the good times we had together. Then I saw him walking with the girl far away. I flipped them off, but they didn't see. After that I cried so much on the bus for about an hour and I seriously almost threw-up.
This is the worst day of my life. I can't stop thinking about him because I still love him so much. He was so nice and sweet. I don't think I will ever get over him. Can someone please just give advice how I can get over him because I don't think I ever will and just thinking about him makes me cry and feel like I'm about to get sick even more...
Thanks so much for the help....

Omgsh!!! I'm so sorry...I know exactly how you feel!!! I felt the same way after my boyfriend broke up with me, and the truth is...you may not ever fully recover from this, but it gets better!!! You will start to focus on other things over time and it will not be as painfull, but it still sucks really bad. Try to get involved with after school activities...or just go out and party with your girls!!! That will help...eventually you will meet someone else, but for now just think about how he treated you, and realize that he acted like a real asshole. Just realize that the slut he is with now will probably leave him for another guy and he will come crawling back to you!!! If you want to you could try to be friends with him but he sounds like he's been an awfull person to you. You deserve better. But, it will all get better...as it turns out me and my ex. are really good friends, so maybe you will be too. Just remember to stand your ground and have some pride...don't go suck up to him!!! Well...GOOD LUCK, and I hope you feel better!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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i used to go out with this guy. he wasnt exactly a loser but some ppl thought he was. so i got really insecure about it and stupidly dumped him. this happened about 4 weeks ago. lately i have started to regret dumping him and i miss him so much!! should i tell him this?

You should defiantely tell him!!! I understand where you were coming from when you dumped him though...It is hard to deal with peer pressure, but think about it...In 10 years will you still care what those people think? Probably not. So the best thing to do is tell him the situation and hope that he understands. Do what makes YOU happy...not everyone else!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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okay so .. i broke up with this guy a little while ago. But when i see him i still think about him. My friends say i should go back out with him .. but i dont want to .. i dont think im the type of girl to have a boyfriend but i also like having one too. I dont know what i should do. I dont even know if he still likes me. I think i just still have left over feelings for him but i dont think i could go back out with him. I kinda want to .. but then again im talking to another boy .. so i dont know what to do ..

In my opinion, it sounds like you are doing o.k. without your ex. boyfriend. I think that you are paying a little too close attention to what your friends say when they tell you that you should go back out with him. You don't sound like you miss him TOO much. As for getting with some other guys...I say go for it!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok, im 14 and have loved this girl since i met her in 6th grade,,,,, we went out when i was in 7th near the end of the year. we lasted until the end of the first month of summer, the reason we had ended the realtionship is because she thought i cheated on her, which i didnt but her mind was made up. after that i didnt know what to do, i tried to date other girls but they werent the same. she is the love of mylife and will be until i die. she says she loves me but does not want a b/f. i left out one thing, after we broke up she went out with my best friend, i thought to myself shes doing it to get back at me. but b4 we went out they were together b4 i cam along. so as time went on she wanted to stop because it was me.him.me and him again. i would do anything to be with her but she doesnt want a b/f "right now". what should i do?

Well...I am a girl, and I know that when girls say that they "don't want a boyfriend", most of the time they actually mean it. I mean who knows maybe she does still like you and she's just taking some time off to clear her head. Another thing is that she most likely WAS trying to make you jealous when she went out with your friend. She probably figured that since he was an easy target anyway, she might as well make you jealous. Also! Since she thinks that you were cheating on her, maybe she's trying to make you REALLY want HER again, and not the other girl...even though there never really was another girl, she just thought that there was. Anyways what I'm really trying to say is, GIVE IT TIME. Girls NEED time. Trust me I know. If she really loves you like she says she does, she will come back for you. By the way, most girls mean it when they say that they love someone. Just live life normally, and try to stay friends with her...being friends will make her miss when you were more than friends!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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I was talkin to my boyfriend last night, and out of no where he said that he needed to tell me somthin in a real serious voice. I got kinda nervous since we've never realy been serious before, we're alwayse lauphing and having a good time. So he said- (remember when we first started talking and you asked me if i'm a virgin and i said yes.... well i'm not. I just said that because i didnt want it to be akward if i told you that soon. Then he said that everything else he has said to me has been true, and he felt bad that he hadnt told me before.) When he told me this i didnt know what to say.I feel really uncomfortable with it. I'm not going to do it with him, since i'm only 15 and i dont believe in that, but i dont want him to go off to some other girl when i say no. What should i do, because i really like this guy. He is one of the nicest people i have every met and i still really like him?!?!?!?!?! Please help

Well, in my opinion...he should've been honest with you in the first place. But, I can understand that he probably really likes you, and was MEGA nervous about telling you. Just be glad that he trusts you enough to tell you now. Better late than never I always say. As for going off and getting with another girl if you say no...If he is so nice then he wouldn't do that now would he??? You also need to know how many times he has had sex...after all, if you two stay together long enough to start thinking about sex, then you need to know how to be safe, and know your patners background. But, all in all, I'm sure that he meant well. You should probably tell him how you feel. Remember...TALKING IS A GOOD THING!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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I'm a 15/f and I haven't been interested in dating until recently this year. I'm starting to want to have a boyfriend really badly. Do you think the fact that I am so inexperienced in the "physical" side of love (ive kissed three people but I've never made out or gone beyond that) that no guys will date me. This is the only thing holding me back from dating. Also any tips on easy ways to say no to getting physical soon or telling guys that I've never made out that wont make me seem like to much of a loser?? Thanks!

First of all, the type of guys that care whether or not you have been physical before are NOT worth dating anyways. If you are looking for a RELYABLE boyfriend, then your all good because he shouldn't care. Second of all, the guys don't need to know that you've never made out before now do they(wink wink). As for saying no to getting physical...The word "NO" helps, lol, a trustworthy guy who RESPECTS you, will definately understand!!! Good Luck!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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ok i have been going out with a girl for quite a while now. we love each other both very much and we know what "love" is...but we have been thinking...about sex. we have already did a couple of things with each other already but other than that we are both still virgins but we are thinking about sex and we are going to go ahead and try it soon possibly even tomorrow or within this week...is this moving too fast...since we know each other and talked it through? and what should i do about this since its our both first time having sex? (we are using protection by the way) thanks for listening

Well, I myself have been in this EXACT situation. Of course, I think that you need to consider the consequences. Obviously since you are both virgins, the risk of STD's is minor. But, think about it...not all protection is 100% guarenteed. You COULD get your girlfriend pregnant. And by the way...if you are THIS unsure...just wait, it's not your time. If you love this girl, you will think ahead and realize that this may be too soon. By the way, I don't know how old you are so I am just estimating, and being general with my answer. In the end this could be very stressful and lead to a break-up if feelings get hurt of expectations are not met. Be WISE!!!
-Hope I Helped *Banna*

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