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I like this guy and he knows i have feelings for him but i don't know how to approach him or talk to him about the chance of us getting to know each other.What should i do if i want to avoid getting the answer "i'm not interested?" (link)
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Simple- don't make the first move. Guys like to be the ones that do the chasing. However, in order to increase your chances you should look hot, hang close to him ( but subtly not so it looks like your stalking) and look at him and smile but then look away, then do this again and wait for him to make a move. So for example, if he is sitting with some friends, go sit or stand by him but don't look at him at first. Make sure you are in clear vicinity where he can see you but be busy chatting to your friends or something. Then casually look at him, smile and then as soon as you catch his eye look down, then reapeat this. He should start up a conversation with you at some point. When he does make sure you're prepared. Think of 3 unique things that you're into and somehow let them flow into the conversation i.e. I'm going to the polo match on friday, but I might have to be late because I'm volunteering at the shelter, or something...he'll then find you interesting different and amazing. good luck!
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how do you get guys to notice you more? i mean i'm not ugly but i dont think i'm "hott" so what should i do? i think i have a nice personality...but idk. (link)
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Slutty is when girls highlight all of their features at once. Sexy is when just one feature is highlighted. For example, with makeup either wear smokey eyes with pale lips or red lipstick with plain mascara but do not wear smoky eyes and red lipstick. With clothing either wear bright colors, tight clothes, a cleavagey shirt, or a short skirt, but do not do them all at once- just pick one asset and feature it at a time. ( and make it your best asset) After you've got the looks, I would be demure and never annoying. Be in the vicinity of the guy you like, smile sweetly and then look down then look back catch his eye smile and look away again. Wait and see if he approaches you. Never talk high-pitched and fast-paced as this is annoying to many guys and is a very common high school mistake. Think sweet breathy Marilyn Monroe. Good luck!
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i am a boy of fifteen years old and and i am inlove with this girl but i don't know how to show it to her (link)
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I am admittedly much better at answering questions on how girls can get boys, but I'll give it a go. First of all, I"m curious as to how you knwo you're "in love" with her. Is it that you are just very attracted to her or have you talked to her and really gotten to know her and admire and respect her personality as well. My guess is that it's a lot of the first and not enough of the second, because if you have chatted to her and really like who she is then you would feel comfortable enough with her to ask her to do things with you like go to the coffee shop or come to a party with your friends. So my advice is get to know her better by talking to her during breaks at school or at parties. Also if she is involved in any clubs or youth gruops you could always join them to get more chance to get to know her. Good luck
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My boyfriend and I had a really big fight because I'm in band & he doesn't support me singing. He sayz I don't spend enough time with him when I'm always with the band and we only meet on weekendz anywayz. I broke up with him because he was being an ass about my dream & wouldn't understand how much I loved singing. So now I'm feeling really stupid cuz he loved me and I miss him. I'm starting to think he's more important than the band, but the band has alwayz been my dream for life! What should I do?
xoxo ~Sabrina~ xoxo (link)
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I guess the real question is, "Does he really not support your singing or does he just resent the fact that you seem to be putting the band before him and not have any time for him?" If it's the first- then you were right to dump him as he needs to respect your wishes and dreams and if he really loved you he would find a way to support him. If it was the second though, you might have been too harsh. If you really cared about him you would find time throughout the week for both him and the band. Wake up earlier, do homework in study halls... there will be times when you're touring and separation will be unavoidable, but it doesn't have to be right now. However, the fact that you didn't try that hard to make time for him might lead me to believe that you don't think he's the one for you. Just because he loved you and you miss him doesn't mean he was your match. If this was the case have enough respect for him to let him go and wish him luck.
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Me and my boyfriend are going through really hard times right now. He keeps telling me how he's too busy to talk or too tired to even figure things out. And I feel like I've just been the one to deal with his bad moods lately. Last night I was explaining to him how hurt I was about the fact that I was crying and all he could talk about was how tired he was about it. He just said that he just can't deal with all of this, so I told him that he doesn't have to deal with me anymore and we hung up. I'm always the one to come back to him after a fight. So, this time I'm letting him make the move. He's called twice tonight and I didn't answer because I just think he needs more room.
So my questions are: If he really cares about me, will he still keep calling to prove that he does want this to work?
How will I know that he really does want this to work?
Should I give him time? because I really don't want to be hurt anymore by the fact that he doesn't want to talk lately.
I need some advice, I will rate to let you know what I think (link)
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You did the right thing by pulling away, and he is doing just what would be expected by now being afraid he's going to lose you and calling you back. However, the first thing guys try to do to win you back is to "use nice words and charm". This approach works with many girls and lets the guy off easy. If you're really going to make him work for it watch his actions not his words, and yes if he does care about you he will take action, either in the form of flowers and gifts or in altering his past actions to show you he's changed. If he doesn't do this he wasn't invested that much in the relationshi9p or didn't care enough. However, truthfully, if you feel he's a lost cause say goodbye and find someone who will respect you and treat you right. Good luck!
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My wife and I have been married for 7 years. When I met her she was very reserved and shy acting. Our sex life was good but she never wanted to deviate from normal foreplay and intercourse. I had told her that I had 5 sexual partners before I met her (including an ex wife). She never said anything about her past other than having sex at 17 and then having not dated for 3 years prior to when I met her. After we were married she told my brother at a party that during 1 year at college she had sex with 27 guys and that she was proud of it as she had used them for sex. When he told me I was shocked. I married a slut as far as I was concerned. She is very religious and plays the good Baptist part well. I have told her that I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that she had so many partners in such a short time, the average total partners for a wome of 39 is 7. She has had sex with over 35 total partners. I told her that I need some details about why she had sex with so many guys and the details of what happened. She says it is none of my business, but I now just think about all of these guys fucking my wife every which way. We have not had sex for 4 months now and it is driving me nuts. I just can't get excited about her. I wonder were these guys great at sex, did they have bigs dicks did she do things with them that she will not do with me.
What should I do? Am I wrong to have an open conversation about the details of her sex capades? She also says she does not remember any details, yeah right?
She seems happy to not have sex now. Now that she does not have to work and I earn over $300,000 a year. I ask her how she could fuck all those guys who gave her nothing and not me the guy who has given her everything?
Please help.
Jimbojoe (link)
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Forgive her. She made mistakes in the past, but she most likely regrets it and feels a bit slutty about it herself. She doesn't want to talk about it because she probably did some really embarrassing and depreciating things that she doesn't want you to know about. She married you because she loved the way she felt with you and obviously if she's good at being the "good Baptist" this is the role she really wants to be and she really is on the inside. She obviously cares a lot about you and is good at making you happy- and she might have realized from the begininng that you never would have liked her if she did reveal her past. I guarantee you she does not think about the other men, and she probably tries to bury them in her memory and its driving her crazy your bringing it up. You're going to have to be the bigger person here who sees this messed up girl who's pulled herself together and changed and now she's relying on you to be her frined, confidante, and life partner. If you are a Christian as well, its time to forgive and for you both to bury the memories of the past together. If this is difficult for you to do I would pray about it or even seek counseling, but don't let a good relationship be ruined over someones past mistakes.
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I'm 20 years old, and my boyfriend is 23 and we've been in a serious relationship for almost 6 years now! Unfortunately, i don't trust certain things about him! For Example, it seems like his head is elsewhere all the time. We live together, but he says he wants to be around me all the time. What is weird for me though, is that, he's coming home later than usual and leaving earlier then usual. But i can't see any signs of change other than that, besides are sex life, which we are currently changing, after i talked to him about that for 1 year and a half! I don't know what's happening to us, something seems wrong and i don't know what it is! We go clubbing every Saturday and all he does is sit there to stare at other women. I think he's no longer attracted, but he tells me he is. After 6 years we've went through every problem a million times. I'm not scared to talk to him about anything, so i always ask! He says one thing, but does the opposite of what he says, this leaves me so confused! HELP SAVOUR THE RELATIONSHIP!!! PLEASE!! (we have plans to get married and everything) (link)
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You are obviously desperate to save the relationship and extremely worried, however, please do not let this show to him as he will become less and less attracted to desperateness, weakness, or neediness. Also, by your saying that he leaves earlier and comes home later, you are implying that you are sitting at home watching him go and waiting for him to come home. Girl, you've been with him 6 years and he's starting to take advantage of the fact that he always expects you to be there for him and is also possibly getting a little bored. In order to make him appreciate you more, you need to leave before him, come home after him, and develop a new interest with new friends ( i.e. photography, kitesurfing, bookclubs). He will be again interested in you and will miss you when you're gone. Also, if you really feel like he is getting distant and possibly cheating on you, it is time for you to pull away- go on a week's girl's only vacation or even move out by telling him you still want to be with him but you feel that you are not sure that he respects and appreciates you and you're not going to be waiting around for someone who isn't giving his all. Then wait- guys hate it when we back off or seem to be losing interest in them and then they want us more!
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i like this guy and im just starting to get to know him. but when we talk i dont really have anything to talk about. any suggestions on how to get the conversation going? (link)
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When you're with a guy I tend to sit back and let him do the hard conversation work and find out stuff about you- then you can always reverse the questions he asks or get into a natural conversation. Just be prepared- have 3 things that you are passionate about i.e. photography, cheerleading, feeding the homeless... and try to work these into the questions he asks you. The most natural things for you to ask him are what he wants to be and what is he passionate about, or just what does he do after school to get an idea what his life is like. You can also adk about family or deeper issues but those really need to wait until a later time. Also if there is a lull in the conversation, don't rush in to fill it. Chances are you might just say something dumb, whereas by waiting he will be feeling like he should fill the gap and he will be getting nervous like the pressure is on him, so he will think of something good to try and impress you.
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At this point in my life, I'm in love with a man living in another country, actually, an other continent. I probably shouldn't call him a man, since we're both just 17, but I hope you'll still take this question seriously.
We met once, and he was completely into me. He took all the initiative, he was the one calling and e-mailing, and sending gifts when we parted. Basically, he seemed far more interested of me than I was of him. But then -- we met once more. And suddenly it all changed. This time, when we parted, he had "no time" at all. E-mails, which were at first coming frequently, now only come once a month. He's stopped calling completely. And now I'm the one chasing him. What changed? Why does this ALWAYS happen to me? I always get admirers who would do ANYTHING (seriously) to get me, but after a while..I become the chaser. I become the bunny-boiler (not really, but you get the picture..I become the one obsessing and trying to make things happen)
I'm seriously sick of always getting to the first stage of a relationship, but never actually getting one. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem.
Answers will be appreciated.
Thank you.
(link)
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First of all I do think intercontinental relationships can work as I married a man who lived in Europe. However, the problem here doesn't seem to be the distance. I don't have enough information about you to tell you why your relationships don't work so this is just my theory... You are probably beautiful and have a lot going for you which is why guys are interested in you. However, you are probably very seet, understanding and would do anything for them, things that you have learned are a good thing and things that you expect will make the guy like you more. However, in a man's eyes until you get to know him very very well, he will see this sweet understanding side to you as weak and unconfident. He will think you are too easy and that you don't probably have enough respect for yourself which will make him lose respect for you and eventually interest. You have to show him from the beginning that you are confident and respect yourself a lot. You demand and deserve the best from yourself and from the first moment he starts to cross the line you stick up for yourself and call him out even if it really doesn't seem like a big deal at the time. You also don't fall madly in love at the drop of a hat as he has to prove himself to you - that he is worthy of you. By making him work for you he will love you more. By being too eager too please and too quick to like him, he loses respect and interest and likes you less. Good luck!
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well i am having a baby and i got from when i got raped and my boyfriend said i will be the dad and i'll help buy things. i hope he does but i am afraid that we stay together and the baby sees him as daddy and calls him daddy then we breakup and what i will do to tell me child he's not daddy anymore (link)
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I'm proud of you for being strong enough to keep this baby and love it. If your boyfriend is going to be like a father to the child you can let him and this is really wonderful of your boyfriend. At some point in your child's life however they are going to have to learn that he is not the true father and for this reason it might be easier if he were called "Uncle" or called by his first name. It would be no different to a parent who had a divorce or had a husband die and was dating someone else when the baby was born. You can't worry about what will happen if you break up, just take every day at a time and focus on the love and attention the child is getting each day. Also, pray about it and let the child know that his true father is his "Heavenly Father" who was there for his from his moment of conception and will never leave him.
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ok so i met this guy in the beginning of the semester and hes super sweet we went out for a month & he broke up with me in the cruelest way possible. he felt really bad and due to the lack of me being able to stay mad at him i still talked to him. now that classes have changed i havnt really seen him for like almost a month. i think he still likes me bc we still talk on aim & we wanna hang out but i hear rumors & my friend told me he couldnt decide between 8 [yes 8!] girls. after that i was completely over him but now im wondering if i would consider seeing him again. hes sweet REALLY funny and cute but he makes me so upset. should i keep him as my friend or try to make it something more?? (link)
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He doesn't sound like he respects you very much, and you need to have enough respect for yourself to know that you don't want to be involved with someone like that. So he's a popular guy who is attracted to many girls. He thinks you're cool as well, but he's young and would probably love to "get with" all of the girls he thinks are hot. What makes a relationship work is when he actually respects you, sees you as good sweet and innocent, but confident enough to stand up to him and make sure he treats you with the utmost of respect at all times. It sounds like you were too infatuated, too "understanding" and didn't stand up for yourself when he was crossing lines the first time you went out. If you want to change the way he views you now, you will have some work to do, but start off by ignoring next time he trys to talk to you on aim or when he asks you to hang out say "you really were so rude to me before - i don't know if i should give you a second chance... how do i know you've changed, what are you going to do to make it up to me?", then sit back and let him work his butt off to get you to hang out again. And don't give in with sweet words- all of these guys are charmers. Demand flowers and/or romantic gestures!
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im a sophomore in highschool and the guy i like is a senior. he'd had a girlfriend for a long time. about 2 years i think. but they break up alot and fight alot. i really like him and i dont know what to do. should i tell him i like him? he is the most popular kid in school. everybody knows him even the freshman. i talk to him online but we only hung out once and thats when he invited me to come see him at his work. we have alot in common like the music and movies and the stuff we like. i dont know how serious he is with his gf. he always tells other girls their hott. plus they fight alot. how can i hint to him that i like him without actually telling him straight out? or should i tell him straight out? should i even tell him at all? (link)
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It sounds like he had a lot a emotions tied into his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend and that doesn't bode well for you. We all know that the harder we love the harder we fight. However, the fact that he has flirted with you and told other girls that they are hot simply means that he needs his ego boosted and probably would physically cheat on his girlfriend. I don't think he is ready for a real relationship and do you really want to be the cheap thrill that he "physically gets with" but doesn't really care about?
However, there is a chance he might be want to get to know you, and if you take it slowly and let him learn to respect you he might then dump his girlfriend because he likes you more. I would play it cool and act like you are pretty, popular, confident and could have any guy in the world so the fact that he kind of flirts with you is not a big deal. Also, if he does make a move towards you I would say "Don't you have a girlfriend, isn't that kind of disrespectful?" This will let him know that you are a good confident girl who demands to be treated right if he does ever want you and will also show him that you're not intimidated by his girl. That being said, there is nothing wrong with looking hot, being in the places he is, and smiling at him but letting him approach you and start hitting on you, but just make sure before you let him make any moves to clear up the girlfriend thing. That is emotional baggage that is his deal to sort out and you really can't be bothered with it. Good luck!
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I come on here and I always give advice but this time I am asking for advice. I have always been good at giving advice but as most people know for most people it is hard to come up with advice for theirself. There is this person who I use to date. The only reason we broke up is because we both got busy in our own lives. I love this person and their son with all of my heart and soul. They are my life eventhough we aren't together. Well about every couple months this person comes to me and tells me they still love me, they remember all the times we spent together, all the things we did together, how I used to hold them in my arms, how they held me and we took care of the other one when they were sick. They even said the dream about me. Since we broke up we have stayed in contact and we talk all the time. They do all of this even if they are in another relationship and the same goes for me. I have tried to be in other relationships, tried to love other people and just couldn't do it because my heart and mind is always on my ex. Both of us are always making comments about how we are both in a relationship why does it always work out this way. Well now we are both single but my ex says they are swearing off relationships. I guess my ex is tired of getting hurt eventhough I have never hurt my ex and have always loved that person and their son. My ex knows I still feel this way but still says they are staying single. So knowing how I feel and how they feel about me should I remain patient? if not, any suggestions on how to get over my ex? This whole thing has been going on for like over a year now. And I am heart broken because we are not together. I am a 24 year old female. I would appreciate any help and I am sorry this is so long. Thanks Fiesty (link)
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So let me get this straight, your ex and you broke up, he still comes around regularly and keeps leading you on, and he has told you recently he wants to be single? The reason it is easier to give advice as a third party is because the third party reads through the excuses that we buy into so easily ourselves. This is simply a matter a respect and being confident enough in yourself to know that you deserve better. In the first place you broke up. Now from my experience no matter what the excuse, a guy will not break up with a girl he is madly and deeply in love with ever for any reason. Secondly, the fact that he kept coming back to you was good for his ego, but it kept you in a yo-yo state and was disrespectful to you ( and to any other girl he might have been seeing at the time). In my opinion, he is using you as the "good for now girl", the girl who he likes better than any of the others at the moment but who he is not madly and deeply in love with. He will run back to you because he knows you will be there to build him up. And the more you let him run to you without getting any committment in return, the more you are showing him that you don't have a lot of confidence or respect for yourself to say "I need more and if you're not going to give it to me I'm going elsewhere." You can always love him as I think it is wonderful to love all of God's creations, but don't kid yourself, this is not a perfect relationship and you deserve better. I would totally break away from him, tell him you have too much respect for yourself to continue a "faux relationship", and move on. He will then most likely say that he loves you and cares about you...but he won't put an engagement ring on your finger, and unless he shows up with a bouquet of flowers, the keys to his apartment, and/or a ring- goodbye to Mr. Wishy-washy.
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Okay. To make a long story short, I've liked this guy andrew for about 6 months now. But for a while I had this boyfriend Ian...we broke up a while ago. Well Andrew has liked me A LOT for 6 months too and now my soposive best friend is trying to steal him from me. I don't want this. I really like...even love this guy and he's just...the most sweetest guy ever. I've had a really tough year this year and he just makes me feel so much better...he means the world to me and we wanna date eachother but my "best friend" likes him. he thinks shes annoying. but id feel bad datng him. WHAT DO I DO!?!?! (link)
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How is she trying to steal him? You can't force relationships and if he really doesn't like her, she will just end up getting herself hurt or rejected. If he really does like you I would just wait for him to ask you out or to do something with him. And don't worry about your friend being jealous, that is her problem not yours. She is the one who needs to mature and realize, why would you want a guy who doesn't want you anyway.
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15/female.... i told this 12th grader i loved him and hes my rly good friend. he has a gf that i want to run her over with a bus!!!he says he likes me kinda but its just too complicated because hes afraid of what his friends will think and next month it would be illeagle* and im not mature enough (sex) meanwhile i would do anything for him b/c i love him soo much. did i make a mistake or did i do the right thing. we are going to hang tomorrow or saturday! should i give up on him??? please answer ill rate!!! (link)
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This guy clearly isn't crazy about anyone right now including his girlfirend and you. He just wants sex from the prettiest/easiest thing around- and don't let that be you because he'll drop you in a heartbeat. I'm not saying he's nto a great guy at heart, but even though he's a 12th grader he is still young himself and apparently not ready for a relationship that would lead to committment. Be his friend if you want. Let him learn to respect and like you, but by telling him you love him you have dug yourself in a hole. He feels kind of sorry for you, kind of is flattered by you, and is kind of attracted to you, but he does not respect you or want a real relationship. Back off honey and wait for your time.
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My boyfriend and I have been going out for awhile. And we have a certain group of friends that we hang out with. The point is that he spends more time with my best friend than he spends with me. They both say that they could never do something like cheat behind my back. I trust them but sometimes I wonder if they really could be masking my eyes with their friendly words. How can I just get over this jealousy phase? (link)
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Truthfully, if he's your boyfriend he should be absolutely pining over you and worshipping the ground you walk on. If he seems to be more infatuated with your friend than you, chances are you're right ( women's intuition). I would start being really standoffish with him and give him the idea that you're starting to dump him. When he gets worried and comes to you asking what's going on, tell him that you feel he's being disrespectful to you by spending more time with your friend than you and that you recognize he can do whatever he wants but you're not going to waste your precious time over someone who doesn't completely respect you and isn't totally into you. Tell him that maybe its just the wrong timing, and then sit back and wait. If he's cool with this or gets defensive- it was never meant to be. If he's a gentleman and apologizes for disrespecting or hurting your feelings, says he didn't know he was doing it, and begs for you back promising to mend his way, take him back.
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I was just "dumped" by my girlfriend of 4mnths. I feel rotten about the whole thing. I mean we were close. We were in love. My heart is shattered. I feel hurt. How does she feel. I know its an awkward question. But how do women feel after breaking up with a guy. And how do I win her back. (link)
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First of all, you sound weak and girls hate weakness. You need to let her know with flowers and a note, that you "apologize if you showed any disrespect to her, but that you love her very much and will always have a special place in your heart for her." Then you need to not call her, not find an excuse to be around her, get to the gym, go out with your guy friends and wait and see what happens.
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