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Do I be patient? Or does anyone have any suggestions on how
I come on here and I always give advice but this time I am asking for advice. I have always been good at giving advice but as most people know for most people it is hard to come up with advice for theirself. There is this person who I use to date. The only reason we broke up is because we both got busy in our own lives. I love this person and their son with all of my heart and soul. They are my life eventhough we aren't together. Well about every couple months this person comes to me and tells me they still love me, they remember all the times we spent together, all the things we did together, how I used to hold them in my arms, how they held me and we took care of the other one when they were sick. They even said the dream about me. Since we broke up we have stayed in contact and we talk all the time. They do all of this even if they are in another relationship and the same goes for me. I have tried to be in other relationships, tried to love other people and just couldn't do it because my heart and mind is always on my ex. Both of us are always making comments about how we are both in a relationship why does it always work out this way. Well now we are both single but my ex says they are swearing off relationships. I guess my ex is tired of getting hurt eventhough I have never hurt my ex and have always loved that person and their son. My ex knows I still feel this way but still says they are staying single. So knowing how I feel and how they feel about me should I remain patient? if not, any suggestions on how to get over my ex? This whole thing has been going on for like over a year now. And I am heart broken because we are not together. I am a 24 year old female. I would appreciate any help and I am sorry this is so long. Thanks Fiesty
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Hi! well all i have to say is that if this guy really has stong feelings for you, he would want nothing but to be with you and only you. You feel that way about him, so why doesn't he, right? I once broke up with a boyfriend of 2 years and we decided to stay "friends." we regularly talked, just like you talk to this guy, and we ALWAYS ended up getting back together... but then we always ended up breaking up because it just wasn't working out. I never got COMPLETELY 100% over him until we stopped talking and cut off all contact. I know it sounds hard, but it is a lot easier than having to deal wiht heartache every day. It might take a few weeks or months to get over him completely, and there will be mornings when you will wake up and question what you did, but in the end you won't even think about i twice! :) my ex is now in the army, and after 6 months of not talking to him, we now write letters and he calls me! things are normal, and we are friends without the heartache. but you can't have a friendship with someone who you were in a relationship with, unless there is a long break where you can each sort out your feelings and fully heal! good luck! :)
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So let me get this straight, your ex and you broke up, he still comes around regularly and keeps leading you on, and he has told you recently he wants to be single? The reason it is easier to give advice as a third party is because the third party reads through the excuses that we buy into so easily ourselves. This is simply a matter a respect and being confident enough in yourself to know that you deserve better. In the first place you broke up. Now from my experience no matter what the excuse, a guy will not break up with a girl he is madly and deeply in love with ever for any reason. Secondly, the fact that he kept coming back to you was good for his ego, but it kept you in a yo-yo state and was disrespectful to you ( and to any other girl he might have been seeing at the time). In my opinion, he is using you as the "good for now girl", the girl who he likes better than any of the others at the moment but who he is not madly and deeply in love with. He will run back to you because he knows you will be there to build him up. And the more you let him run to you without getting any committment in return, the more you are showing him that you don't have a lot of confidence or respect for yourself to say "I need more and if you're not going to give it to me I'm going elsewhere." You can always love him as I think it is wonderful to love all of God's creations, but don't kid yourself, this is not a perfect relationship and you deserve better. I would totally break away from him, tell him you have too much respect for yourself to continue a "faux relationship", and move on. He will then most likely say that he loves you and cares about you...but he won't put an engagement ring on your finger, and unless he shows up with a bouquet of flowers, the keys to his apartment, and/or a ring- goodbye to Mr. Wishy-washy.
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Well this seems like a very big problem and you dont want to do the wrong thing to where you end up losing this other person even as a friend. But if I was in your place I would wait because you really sound like you love this person if you have waited this long I am not saying wait forever but talk to them and slowly try to move in if you start to show your feelings instead of say them then this person wont be able to resist but dont try to make it fast if you really love this person then be patient but still dont sit around try to move in slowly by talks and just hanging out a lot.
Well good luck,
I hoped I helped
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