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what went wrong?
At this point in my life, I'm in love with a man living in another country, actually, an other continent. I probably shouldn't call him a man, since we're both just 17, but I hope you'll still take this question seriously.
We met once, and he was completely into me. He took all the initiative, he was the one calling and e-mailing, and sending gifts when we parted. Basically, he seemed far more interested of me than I was of him. But then -- we met once more. And suddenly it all changed. This time, when we parted, he had "no time" at all. E-mails, which were at first coming frequently, now only come once a month. He's stopped calling completely. And now I'm the one chasing him. What changed? Why does this ALWAYS happen to me? I always get admirers who would do ANYTHING (seriously) to get me, but after a while..I become the chaser. I become the bunny-boiler (not really, but you get the picture..I become the one obsessing and trying to make things happen)
I'm seriously sick of always getting to the first stage of a relationship, but never actually getting one. I'm sure I'm not the only one with this problem.
Answers will be appreciated.
Thank you.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
From what I a reading it seems like you play "Hard to get". Eventually your lover is going to get fed up with the game. And when you are finally tired of keeping up the "act", you have all ready lost them.You should return the favor sometime and show them how much you like them also. That way both of you are on the same track!!
Hope I helped.
<3
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There isn't a lot of information in your question, but here is my best guess: It sounds to me like you keep missing the moment.
If you have people who would do anything to get you, why don't they get you? I mean, that’s the time right there when they are ripe to move from admirer to boyfriend. But if you are playing hard to get, shuffling your feet or just taking yourself out of it every time you are letting the moment pass, and the intelligent guy sees that you are not ready to be with him ('cause if you were, you would have done something by now right?) and moves on.
In a relationship, a healthy viable relationship, one person can't be doing all the work and shouldn't even be doing most of the work. The brightest flame fizzles out the quickest. If he was taking all the initiative, no wonder he got tired.
Did you return his affections and gifts with equal pleasure or where you just letting him worship you without being an equal participant in the relationship?
Take some control of yourself. If the guy is admiring you and you think he is relationship material say so, explain the kind of relationship you would like to have and if you are doing all the chasing ask him what is up. Don't just play around until he looses interest, be proactive.
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First of all I do think intercontinental relationships can work as I married a man who lived in Europe. However, the problem here doesn't seem to be the distance. I don't have enough information about you to tell you why your relationships don't work so this is just my theory... You are probably beautiful and have a lot going for you which is why guys are interested in you. However, you are probably very seet, understanding and would do anything for them, things that you have learned are a good thing and things that you expect will make the guy like you more. However, in a man's eyes until you get to know him very very well, he will see this sweet understanding side to you as weak and unconfident. He will think you are too easy and that you don't probably have enough respect for yourself which will make him lose respect for you and eventually interest. You have to show him from the beginning that you are confident and respect yourself a lot. You demand and deserve the best from yourself and from the first moment he starts to cross the line you stick up for yourself and call him out even if it really doesn't seem like a big deal at the time. You also don't fall madly in love at the drop of a hat as he has to prove himself to you - that he is worthy of you. By making him work for you he will love you more. By being too eager too please and too quick to like him, he loses respect and interest and likes you less. Good luck!
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