i understand that. i don't mean to insult you.. im 15 years old as well. i do recognize that we do not know what love is yet. thats all. i just was pointing out that forever is a loong time
You didn't insult me, I was actually was irritated by the answer the other person gave you. If you are that person (I'm sure you are though, because I don't know who else would think I'm mad at them lol). Well, I understood where they were coming from, it seems like that is the correct answer, but in my opinion if I was going through that, I wouldn't want someone to do that to me and lead me on like that.
I actually thought you were older.... (I thought you said you were 20?)
I might be thinking of someone else..
If you can, what question did you ask, again?
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15/f
So my current boyfriend and I have been going out for a while now and he is so sweet and amazing. He always tells me he loves me, and I tell him I love him as well (because I do) but the other day he came over to my house and gave me a beautiful silver ring with a turquoise stone. He told me that it was a promise ring that we were going to be together forever and get married one day. But sometimes people say that and don't really mean it. How do I know he really really means it. Because I love him so much and I do want to marry him when I grow up. I have dated other guys and he is the only one who makes me feel this way. I just want to know if I am going to end up getting my heart broken. Does he really mean he wants to be with me?
I think he is the real deal. Of course anything can happen, but I think he truly means it.
I had a guy get me a promise ring and he said the same things to me, and he was a true jerk...
I already knew this, but I decided to trust him anyway. What I'm trying to say is, while some guys do mean it at the time, sometimes they have a change of heart. Hopefully this won't happen. He seems like a great guy, don't let him go. lol
20/F
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Okay so I'm 13/F (almost 14 though) and I recently met a boy (15/M we'll call him J) and he seemed pretty nice, so I gave him my number and we've been talking for awhile now but haven't hung out a lot. I asked him once about his past relationships and he told me that there has only been one girl and that they only made out. And I was kind of surprised because I knew one of his friends was a pretty bad kid but I thought maybe J is diferent. Well I talked to that friend (close friends) and he told me that J went all the way... Im not really okay with that. I've never even been kissed... I asked J if that was true (but I didnt say who told me) and J denied it... Well i dont know who to believe... I dont know either of them very well but I really want it to work with J. What should I do?
I say give him the benefit of the doubt. Give him a chance to prove himself. You cannot prove anything except maybe if you had a picture or a video clip lol
The past is already done, whatever happened has already happened and there is nothing no one can do.
Let him prove his worth, and you see for yourself if he is truly worth it.
Think of it like this.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift - that’s why it is called the present!
It truly is a great quote to base your life on.
Every time you think about how much you do not like it, think of this quote. Live in the future, not in the past and not in the future. Live for today. It makes your life that much worth while.
20/F
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So ok, im A 20 year old sailor, I have a girlfriend whom i am happy with, however we have never met in person (we met online). Before i met her i had another girl that i had feeling for which have since receded. The girl in question now has cancer, and she beleives that her and i are toghther. I love the first girl and care for the second, the second has noone to turn to, i feel as if my involveemeny gives her hope, somthing to live for, as shes terminal. Is this right?
Well, as much as I hate to say this, but there is no right way to lie. I think you should tell her the truth. I mean what if she does survive and talks about marriage or wanting to be with you forever. You are still just leading her on. Also, online or even long distance... you love her, right?
This is called cheating. I'm sorry I don't believe in "it isn't cheating if you live in different area codes" (just a stupid quote I got from a stupid guy). It may seem right because you are thinking of it as helping her to survive. I think it would be harsher to wait until she gets better to say "sorry I just want to be friends". You can still help her through this by just being there for her, to listen and to care. That is the meaning of true friendship.
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My nickname is the "dateless wonder". I'm almost 16 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been asked out. It's not that my parents don't let me date, is that no guy has ever approched me. I apparently scare people! IDK why, I've been called emo,cutter and druggy, but I'm not! My friends call me a Teddy Bear and say I act and look cute, but then I hear rumors going on saying that I'm scary! I am a flirt failure to boot. I don't like those kind of games, I'm straight forward and I apparently speak bluntly.... I don't know what to do! How can I be more approchable? I've been told by friends that guys have tried to flirt with me before, they would start walking up to me then suddenly turn away. Why do I repel guys? I really don't want to be single all of High School! Please help?!
lol you sound just like me when I was younger. Except I was about 12 or 14. All I can tell you is make more guy and girl friends and throw yourself out there. Show those people that they were wrong. Best of all, you would be proving them wrong at the same time. Maybe you will get a couple of guys to actually crush on you :)
You never know what can happen. This is def. what I wish I would have done when I was in middle and high school. I was a sweetheart, and got along with most of the people who talked to me. Only downfall? I wore mostly black, still do lol
Just not as hardcore as I used to be... not that I was to start with. Guys and girls are alike in this way... everyone is scared of rejection. Someone could like you, they are just too scared to tell you. To be more approachable, smile more often and maybe tell some jokes. You seem like a funny girl. I don't know you, but I feel a sort of comic sense in your words. I could be wrong, but hey. Just make people laugh, but be you while doing it. Also, if you have guy friends and they take your hand, hug you for a long time (with a smile on their face), play with your hair, tickle you, act jealous when you talk about other guys, etc. he likes you. No doubt.
Well, a guy has done this to me, but I didn't know he was flirting... I was oblivious to all this. He was just my best friend and he wrote me a letter and told me not to open until I got home. lol
He asked me out ... big surprise for me, even though everyone knew what was going on before I did. I just thought he was being really nice. I was about your age when I went out with him.
Just be on the look-out for signs. Try not to be as oblivious as I used to be. Maybe that will help. I sure do hope so... Good luck to you :)
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Ugh it makes me so mad because it seems like everytime I find a boy that I really like he's either using me or he just wants to feel me up and doesn't care about me at all... What do I do?
14/F
In my opinion, it's because most guys around your age are curious and are exploring their sexual desires. I think you should wait until you are at least 16 or maybe a bit older to go out with a guy, because they cause too much heartache. I'm not sexist or anything, but due to my own experiences I wish I would have waited until I was 18 or 19 to go out with someone. Not only to save myself the heartache, but I would've been a much better and nicer person if I would have waited. Of course, that is just me, too. Everyone takes their experiences different than others. Some become stronger, others weaker, depending on the circumstances. Some guys are very mature for their age, but usually the older the guy the more mature they are. That's the only reason I tell you that you should wait. Or make it clear to them what your expectations are before going out with them. Another thing I wish I would have done.
Sorry I couldn't help more.
Best of luck
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okay so ive been with my bf for 3 months and were 15 and pretty serious. and the other day he decided to smoke a cigarette and the last time he smoked it was weed and he wasnt going to tell me but i found out and got really mad bc i would rather have him tell me so he doesnt feel like he has to hide things from me. and he said he would never do it again. i mean i dont really care about weed because its not like as powerful and he doesnt do it like alot. but like cigarettes are just disgusting and i asked him multiple times if he smoked because i saw him a little later that night and he smelled gross. and i asked my friend if he did and he said he did and then i asked my bf if he did and i asked him like seperatley if he smoked weed then if he smoked cigarettes and he said he would never smoke cigs and im just like ... idk what to do because on a survey thing he says he has a secret and i really believe thats it. but like i wanna seem like i trust him to because i do, i really do trust him like i love him and i want him to know that he can feel comfortable telling me anything. im so confused please help:(
Well, to be honest I have been through this.
The first thing I learned was that no matter how hard I tried to convince my boyfriend to tell me the truth, he always lied to me. You do not need a guy that is going to lie to you over stupid things. He is probably scared you will get mad at him. I'm not for sure, but I know that no one deserves being lied to. I figured that out the hard way, I would rather be single than to be with someone who couldn't talk to me or who would just wind up lying to me. He may never change, then again, he might. Keep this in mind, boys your age are really immature and I've heard that statistics say guys are 3 years behind. I do not know if it is true or not, just what I have heard. It is a fact that women mature faster than men, here's why.
http://www.ezilon.com/articles/articles/7459/1/Why-Women-Mature-Faster-than-Men
I'm not sexist, I'm not telling you to dump him. I'm just saying that when you are older you'll understand more. You'll find a man someday that will treat you right and make you feel lucky.
I wish I understood what I know now at your age.
I'm not that much older than you, but a lot can happen and change within a year.
Advice I have for you?
Take it slow. You have your whole life ahead of you. You have plenty of time for guys later on.
You should focus on school more, have fun being a teenager. I didn't take it slow, but slow enough to just enjoy the ride of high school. Looking back I wish I would have slowed down more. High school is the best time of your life. You may not realize this now, but wait and see :)
You probably do not like what I'm telling you, because I know it frustrated and irritated me a lot, when growing up. I didn't listen, but now I know I should've. Sorry it is so long.
Wish I could have helped out a lot more.
Good luck
20/F
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long story kinda short... I went with guy,we fell deeply in love,we moved to different schools,I wasn't really allowed to go anywhere, so we broke up. We contnued to talk as if we still went out a month or two later because we were hoping he would be able to get into the school I was going to. He didn't and slowly I realized it wasn't going to work.I tried to remain friends because I loved talking to him so much but ad time passed he began to change into a complete asshole!! We had an argument a day or two before cristmas. He said fuck you and hung up on me! I had had enough! I wrote him a nice long letter on myspace fussing him out and then deleted and blocked him!! I havnt seen him since last school year and I havnt spoken to him since the two days before cristmas! I was so angry at him and forced myself to not think about him anymore because of how he treated me! I spent alot of time since then by myself which has made me begin to drift into the past when we were together! I can't help but miss him so much because he was my first love! He was the perfect guy when we were together and I miss that sooo much! A part of me feels like slapping the shit out of him if I ever see him again and another part feels like hugging and kissing him! I don't know what to do to stop thinking about him! I keep telling myself that I shouldn't care so much about what he's doing at this exact moment or if he still loves me or thinks about me! I feel like if I had a bf( which I havnt since him) I would have something to take my mind off of him, but I have such high standards. He was the perfect guy in almost every way and I can't help but feel like my next bf has to be even better for me to be truly happy and to forget about him...then I find out he has a gf and I can't help but cry and it hurts me to feel this way about that but I just can't help it. He's moved on and found someone and I'm still madly in love with him.I keep dreaming and hoping that a miracle would happn and he would transfer to my school next year. We would have a looonngg talk but in the end he'd apologize and I'd forgive him and we would go out again and I would finnaly truly be happy!! I hate feeling like this because it's tearing me down and making me very unhappy but I don't know how to stop!! If some would could try to give me some advice please! I would really appreciate it! Thanx for reading and sorry it was so long! :...(
Aww, I'm so sorry to hear about that. This is a sad story, and I had a similar experience once.
I was in love with that guy for like 3 or so years after we split up and he, too was my first love.
Hard to say, but even if it is a long time, time will truly heal. Of course, you will still miss him, it isn't very easy to give up or stop thinking about a first love. It seems nearly impossible, but try not to think of it too much, it leads to too much stress. I have high standards, too, believe me lol I know how you feel.
The only other advice I have to give you, is maybe it will help by writing to him and see what he says? Write him a poem about how you feel, or maybe try apologizing to him and say "I just don't understand why you said that to me and hung up. It just hurt to hear that from you because we used to be so close." You never know what will happen.
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14/f
freshman
so i just started dating this guy. we will call him D. i have known D for almost 2 years now. We have been friends for about a year. Some of my friends think its great that we are going out. Butmost of them cant stand it. When I get to school I hang out with D, and our friends. And i was planning to still sit with my other friends at lunch and let D sit with his friends most of them time. Well my others friends are mad at me because I am going out with him ( he didnt always treat me the best when we were friends but he didnt do anything to my friends) i dont want my other friends to be mad at me, but i need to be with D too. I know friendship comes first so thats why i set tiem aside. What should I do? Also whenever I sit there they dont always talk to me but when I dont sit there they get mad at me for "ditching" them. It like I cant win. Can you please help me?
Well, it is true that you should hang with you friends, but D needs time with you, too. If they really care about you, they will accept that you have a life and you are happy with D. You should really tell them,
"Please don't accuse me of ditching you,
because half the time you don't even talk to me when I'm here. If you want me here, than talk to me more. Otherwise I'm going to go with D, because he actually talks to me. It's not fair how you guys are treating me. I feel that if you love me enough you'll accept me no matter who I go out with or if I choose to be with other friends. I would do the same for you."
They shouldn't be mad at you for who you choose to be with. He shouldn't be mean to you, but that doesn't give your friends the right to take their anger at him and unleash it on you.
That isn't right.
Hopefully that helps.
Good luck!
Stina 19/F
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Okay well, me and my boyfriend started dating on the 5th of this month, but we been bestfriends and talking for like a year now. I REALLY like him, like I know he doesn't have the best personality, but theres something about him that I really really like, But im not sure his feeling the same way like yesterday he told me that he wanted to be single for a little while until he had time for a girlfriend, but his still not sure and may change his mind.. Well after a few hours I spent talking to him after that he said you know how I said I will change my mind well I am because I really like you, but one of his ex-girlfriends had texted me and was like I heard you and Chance broke up and I was like yeah how do you know already? And she said because he said " Hey im single again are you?" I mean I don't know to belive that or not. Well besides that at school were always talking,hugging, and stuff, but we never made out or anything yet, but that's because pretty much the only time I see him is at school and I don't want to make out at school and his always asking me too and I'll be like no, but im different from all his other girl friend's to because his other girl friend's were hoes and they'll pretty much have sex with you in the middle of the hall way, and I think thats what his use too, but im nothing like that like it takes me awhile to make out with someone. I keep thinking about him constantly, but I still don't really know if he feels the same becuase we really don't act like were going out when where together and I want to be more like we are. I guess what im asking is should I stay with him?, How do I try to act more like his girl friend without me making the moves and try to get him too?, and anything else you can add to make me get better about this topic thank you a whole lot [:
Well, to be honest you sound like you are too good for him, in my opinion. I don't want to persuade you to stay away from him if you don't want to. So just follow your heart. Something about him doesn't seem right though...
Just something about this, although I could be wrong.
You should talk to him about that text though.
But you never know, there's always three sides to a story. Her side, his side and the truth. :)
If you want to be more like his girlfriend, than you are going to have to make the move. Kiss his cheek, grab his hand, put you head on his shoulder. :)
Good luck!
19/F
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i'm 15 and have been dating my boyfriend (16) for a year and a month. i love him so much but we just had this talk about how like things have kinda changed and we need more passion and stuff. i'm like freaking out because i don't know what to do. i don't want to break up and he said he doesn't either but how do you bring passion back to a relationship?
i know i'm young, please just help me if you can. i really don't want to lose him. how should i fix this?
thanks so much =] this is just crazy to me because we've never even had any problems before this so thank you again.
This is so funny, because this is just what I keep telling my boyfriend of two years that we need more passion. I'm sorry, but I cannot tell you how to bring passion into your lives, because it's a feeling. You can't just do something and passion enters your heart. All I can tell you, is that if you spend too much time together, passion can run out, because you're around each other constantly.
So if you do this, take some time apart, without splitting up to see if you still want to work things out. After that time apart, your heart should know what you want, just talk to each other.
If you guys do have a lot of time apart, try spending more time together, of course not too much. Maybe that should help you guys have brighter feelings for each other and even gain more respect for each other.
One more thing, avoid any negative thoughts or fights. Make sure nothing gets in the way of your good fun :)
Good luck and I hope I helped
19/F
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16/f
So this guy Alex started talking to me last week and we flirted a lot so at the end of the week I asked him for his number and he gave it to me. So i texted him on monday and he talked to me for a little bit (through text) then on tuesday night i asked him (through text) to call me at 11 and he said he would and he never did. So yesterday i texted him calling him a jerk and when he asked why i said because you never called me and then he apologized and said he fell asleep. I asked him to call last night if he was up and he said he would if he was awake...he never called. He never says anything to me in school. On tuesday he said hi to me for a second. I think I might like him a bit. However, I really don't want to annoy him. So should i ask him to call me earlier like 10? Or should i call him myself. Or should i just give up on him. Because I rather leave it where we're at than him end up hating me. Help?
Most guys are like this to be honest, the ones that don't call anyway.
As for him ignoring you in school, he is probably acting that that because he thinks you like him. If a guy thinks a girl likes him (even if they are complete flirts), they'll get distant and feel awkward around that girl. It's happened to me before when I asked a guy out that used to be my best friend. After that day, he would avoid me at all costs and even quit walking home from school with me. My dad always told me, that if a guy doesn't call a girl back, he obviously doesn't care too much. So go find the guy that loves to talk to you, and wants to call you back :)
Hopefully I was of some help to you
19/F
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Before you start thinking of a response to my subject, it's not what it literally sounds like.. Anyways I like this girl like a lot. Shes special to me, she became my second TRUE friend in my life. But my best friend knows her a bit more than I do and said that she's heartless, a gold digger, and has no intention of finding love. After hearing that my heart sort of broke a piece off. He was just trying to save me from experiencing a greater pain, but right now I'm in a state of like confliction. Like inside I don't want to believe that shes that kind of person. I was thinking of trying to change her but my friend mentioned that people can't change, and even if I do change her then it will become one of those situations where your loving someone for who they are not. I don't quite fully understand.. If she really is that sort of person then I want to change that, maybe shes heartless because no one cared for her or was there for her. Any advice? I don't want to be just her friend.
Have you heard of giving someone the "Benefit of the doubt"? Give her a chance, and get to know her a little better. Your friend may just be upset, and think that after you and this girl hook up, that he won't be your best friend anymore. I could be wrong, (you know him in real life so you have better judgment :)) but you need to look at both sides instead of just being blinded to just one. If you think he is telling you the truth, I would be cautious. Although, if I were you I would get to know her better myself.
In the end, it's your decision. I have been in many of these situations, and I know they are not easy, and most of the people who tried to protect me were right... and it made me feel stupid, but I know I did no wrong, and I no longer feel that way because I was doing a good deed. Getting to know someone before getting to know them a little more is better than dumping them off into the gutter before actually seeing it for yourself. Who knows, if she is heartless, maybe your heart can melt the ice. I, myself had a great impact on people and motivated them to change. Don't get me wrong, though, you can't force someone to change unless they want to on their own.
I hope I had a good understanding of what you wrote above. Good luck and hopefully I helped.
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