|
boyfriend & smoking
okay so ive been with my bf for 3 months and were 15 and pretty serious. and the other day he decided to smoke a cigarette and the last time he smoked it was weed and he wasnt going to tell me but i found out and got really mad bc i would rather have him tell me so he doesnt feel like he has to hide things from me. and he said he would never do it again. i mean i dont really care about weed because its not like as powerful and he doesnt do it like alot. but like cigarettes are just disgusting and i asked him multiple times if he smoked because i saw him a little later that night and he smelled gross. and i asked my friend if he did and he said he did and then i asked my bf if he did and i asked him like seperatley if he smoked weed then if he smoked cigarettes and he said he would never smoke cigs and im just like ... idk what to do because on a survey thing he says he has a secret and i really believe thats it. but like i wanna seem like i trust him to because i do, i really do trust him like i love him and i want him to know that he can feel comfortable telling me anything. im so confused please help:(
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Can't say I ever thought I would see the day that smoking weed was considered the lesser of the two evils when compared to cigarettes! I've always wanted to be a rebel!
You don't trust him. If you did you wouldn't be worried about all this. He isn't telling you he smokes because you don't like it, and have probably told him so. That doesn't make lying about it right. After all, there are people who will rat him out!
I have to agree with the adviser before me. He is immature. If he is a smoker, he probably isn't going to quit for you. Its just not that easy.
Your best bet will be to either accept the fact he does and tell him its ok, or drop him and move on. Depending on how grossed out you actually are.
If you're asking him multiple times about his smoking, believe me, he is taking that to be disapproval & possibly nagging. He is not going to feel comfortable enough to tell you about it
if that is the case.
]
Well, to be honest I have been through this.
The first thing I learned was that no matter how hard I tried to convince my boyfriend to tell me the truth, he always lied to me. You do not need a guy that is going to lie to you over stupid things. He is probably scared you will get mad at him. I'm not for sure, but I know that no one deserves being lied to. I figured that out the hard way, I would rather be single than to be with someone who couldn't talk to me or who would just wind up lying to me. He may never change, then again, he might. Keep this in mind, boys your age are really immature and I've heard that statistics say guys are 3 years behind. I do not know if it is true or not, just what I have heard. It is a fact that women mature faster than men, here's why.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I'm not sexist, I'm not telling you to dump him. I'm just saying that when you are older you'll understand more. You'll find a man someday that will treat you right and make you feel lucky.
I wish I understood what I know now at your age.
I'm not that much older than you, but a lot can happen and change within a year.
Advice I have for you?
Take it slow. You have your whole life ahead of you. You have plenty of time for guys later on.
You should focus on school more, have fun being a teenager. I didn't take it slow, but slow enough to just enjoy the ride of high school. Looking back I wish I would have slowed down more. High school is the best time of your life. You may not realize this now, but wait and see :)
You probably do not like what I'm telling you, because I know it frustrated and irritated me a lot, when growing up. I didn't listen, but now I know I should've. Sorry it is so long.
Wish I could have helped out a lot more.
Good luck
20/F
]
More Questions: |