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Can you handle the truth?Gender:
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February 3, 2007Answers:
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April 16, 2007Visitors:
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My name is Sasha Davis and I hope to someday be a phycologist. I am here because I want to learn about how I can best help other people. Come to me with your problems and I promise I will give you the best advice possible. Thank you :)
advice
My boyfriend & I have been going out for about five years now. We don't see each other a lot anymore because of us going to school & him working. I go to college around where he lives but I'm a commuter. While I'm at school or leaving school, he's at school too or he's at work. So on weekdays we never see each other. Friday & saturday nights are his nights with his friends. Sunday is always our day because he doesn't work sundays. It has always been this way. But today, or yesterday I guess, he didn't come to see me. Last sunday he didn't either. Both sundays he just stayed over his cousins house. I'm cool with his cousin & all the people that live in their house, they're all like family to me, but he was with them friday & saturday night too! And now I'm starting to be really pissed off because I always let him go & do his thing friday & saturday nights & there is no reason why he can't spend one day out of the week with me. If I approach him about it, hell act like an ass & we'll start arguing & really, I don't feel like arguing with his dumb ass because I already know what hell say. Probably something like, "I just wanted to chill with my buls" or "you always got something to bitch about" or something along those lines. Okay... so yeah, I'm hurt. It upsets me because I never ask him for shit. All I expect is when it hits sunday, he's spending it with me. I'm like lost with what to do right now. As soon as I tell him how I feel, there's gonna be an argument & I'm really trying to avoid that. When we argue, we argue hard. But Ilm trying hard not to be passive so what do you think I should do? Suck it up & just let it go or suck it up & argue it out with him?
By the way, I texted him earlier today. Me: don't you ever miss me?
Him: yes, I do be missing you.
Me: I don't feel like you do. I don't know. I just miss you & we don't get to see each other a lot.
Him: we'll be out of school soon.
That's all I've said to him about how I feel today. So him saying we will be outta school soon obviously means we will see each other more once the semester is over. But still.. He could have came to see me today & last sunday! Please let me know your thoughts & how I should go about this. I appreciate all answers, however, don't just say, "just tell him how you feel. End of story." Its not that easy to tell a guy who thinks he's always right how I feel.
Thanks a lot!
DO NOT SEND AN EMAIL. trust me. i am in the exact same situation as you, and i sent an email. things just got worse. yes i was nice about the whole thing and not accusatory. it didnt matter. i still came off clingy and he still doesnt want to see me. Theres not a lot i can tell you to do. Just know that you are doing the best you can do. if he doesnt want to see you, you can't change that can you? manipulation or "telling him your feelings" wont help. i dont think anything can.
14/f
so i have a boyfriend. of 3 months. i love him. and we have said i love you for about 2 months before we started dating. and he ALWAYS wants me to change, and stop talking to my best friend brandon. and he got REALLY pissed off cause when i went away for spring break i hung out with his friend rick, but nothing happened between us. i gave him a hug good bye and thats it. but we never told my boyfriend about it. and found out and now he thinks im fucking around. and he says were on break. and hes like we can still kiss and hold hands durring school. and im like whats break?
what are the standards for a break?
what are the standards when your my age for break?
advice please?
okay, you have made two serious mistakes. the first one was not listening to him in the first place when he told you not to talk to those other guys. you may say hes just being paranoid, but he isn't. the fact that you still talk to brandon even thought your bf asked you not to PROVES that you value your friendship with him over your relationship with your boyfriend. the bf is only being paranoid if you actually would listen to him (therefore proving you value him over the other guy) get it? your second mistake was agreeing to go on break. "i want to go on break" means that the guy wants to see if he can land somebody better, and if not, he'll come back to you. dump him STAT. and i suggest going out with brandon or rick. that's what you really want isnt it?
My daughter has been purging off and on for the last year...that I know of... She declares that she is at a point where she is ready to stop...and indeed has not purged for some time. However, at times, when she eats, normally, her food does not seem to stay down... and she feels like vomiting even though she may not want to... I understand that this is probably an after effect of her making herself throw-up off and on for over such a long period of time. Is there anything we could do "naturally" to help ease her body back into accepting food and keeping it down. Thank you so much for answering our question.
"This is a very serious problem. Get her to a doctor and soon. I can't believe you haven't already. You need professional advice, not what a bunch of random people on the internet think you should do. For the sake of your daughter, please take her to a doctor. If you don't, and try to solve this on your own, it could have serious consequences. Good luck."
took the words right outta my mouth.
Just started my 1st period.The week before I got loads of discharge,sometimes gooey sometimes mustardy kind of textur,and I hadny been able to get to sleep - is that because my body was preparing for it?
Any tips?
All of that is normal. I would suggest getting a lot of rest, drinking lots of water and just relaxing. taking tylanol or midol also helps. Good luck =)
My friendship with a guy (best guy friend...or was...) is over...and i dont know what to do...i dont know what to think...i dont know how to feel...
im in so much pain...and right now i feel numbed to it...and that is really scary because i know its gonna hit me really hard later than...its happened before...but the thing that really gets me is that i dont think he notices anything is wrong...like he has no idea that our friendship is gone down the toliet or he does and he just doesnt want to do anything about it...he just doesnt care...
i dont know...any advice on this would be greatly appreciated!
Well, what you should probably do is keep talking to him. I know it feels weird talking to him, and you would rather he talked to you first. You probably want HIM to show an interst in being your friend. The reality is, his isn't interested and doesn't care. You therefore have two options: try to make him your friend, or move on. Whatever you decide, don't sit around moping.
Let me know how it works out =)
Okay ill not to make this very long… there is this boy in my class and I really like him and have liked him for a long time [between 2-5 years lost count]. I am not sure if he likes me or not and I am scared to go ask him. We are actually really close friends and I also don’t want to ruin our relationship together. He means a lot to me and cannot get him out of my mind. My friends always ask me why I like him and I cant answer them because I have no clue why. I think that I might think he is cute funny but everyone else thinks that he isn’t cute. What should I do?
My other dilemma is that next year I am going to high school. I have a chose weather to go to one school or another and I don’t know which to go to. My friends are practically splitting. 5 of my friends are going to one school and him and 4 others are going to the other school. I really don’t want to loose him nor do I want to loose the other friends going to the other school. HELP this is really confusing and hard to deal with.
Sorry for how long it is and thank you in advance.
I suggest you take the plunge and tell him you like him. It sounds like you are at a very crutial time. You do not want to miss out. As far as the school goes, pick the one that you think is the best place for you. Don't decide based on your friends.
Good luck and let me know what happens:)
This question is not from me this is from my cousin she will soon be on here. She is 20 and weights 134 pounds, she wants to know is that the average size for a 20 year old. She seems to think that she is not big enough as in thick if ya'll know what i mean she has a problem because she gets offended because she wants to be thick with big hips and a big butt and big thighs.shes really not skinny, certain jeans she wears makes her look like shes bigger. she eats alot but doesnt gain that much weight. should she just keep eating alot, what are some exercises she can do to make her thighs and butt bigger.
Your cousin should relax about the way she looks. Many people find the slim look to be quite attractive. Forget about gaining weight, it's much better to be happy with yourself the way you are. In terms of exercise, I suggest she joind a dance team or take up figure skating. Those people always have nice butts. Good luck and let me know how it goes:)
I am Catholic. I made my confirmation last year. Except the thing is.. i wasnt really ready. i didnt know god as much as i do now. I am such a better Christian now. I feel connected to him now. I pray every night and follow god as much as i possibly could. I dont cuss or drink or smoke or have sex..or do bad stuff. I kind of picked a confirmation saint name without thinking. It doesnt really relate to me, or hve much meaning to me. of course i researched it, and i thought it was really cool what she did.
But sometimes i think some things we as Catholics do, are kind of pointless. i know god would love me just as much if i wasnt confirmed. baptists dont get confirmed. and i actually dont remember my confirmation as being one of those heart touching special moments.
Am i wrong for feeling this way?
I just want to follow god w/out having to do these things that i find pointless...
You are not wrong to feel that way. You do not have to do the things you find pointless, God would love you no matter what. The fact is, you don't have to do ANYTHING in life. EVERYTHING is "pointless". As an individual, it is your choice as to what you do. Do you want a life of leisure, or do you want a life of success and fulfillment? You cannot have both.
there's this guy that i like & hes just a nice person. the thing is, im friends with his friends & so we talk in small groups during class a lot. i talk to them, they talk to me, etc etc. hes been in almost every one of my classes & sits near me in all. we never actually talked. i mean yeah we exchanged words about a class assignment or something, but that's about it. in my one class, a group of people would talk & they would all talk to me yet he wouldn't. im completely ignored by him. i've tried talking about this class were taking & it just didn't work out. i mean, if im talking he'll look at me but will never respond, or join in on the convo, etc. maybe im not social to the extreme, but i do talk to his friends & at least try to make conversation. does he just not like me?? or is it something else??
Girls often think they are sending out huge messages when in actual fact they are being subtle. You should ask him to hang out with you and your friends sometime after school. You know, just to hang out and get to know him better. Food luck and let me know how things work out :)
kayso, i am going on vacation in about two weeks with one of my good friends and im really excited but at the same time not. cause im not really looking too well on my bathing suit. haha. well, go figure she invited some really good looking kid to go and im kind of self conscious. is there any possible way i can look a tad better in two weeks? febuary 21st to be exact. or am i screwed? haha. if you have any ideas that would be veryy helpful. and by the way i can't do any dieting too drastically and such cause my parents fore me to eat anything they make me or else they get upset.ha maybe some kind of fast working exercise i can do in my house cause its freeziingg outside. and i probably couldnt get a ride to a gym. but if you can help me please do.haha
Changing the way your body looks in two weeks is an unreasonable goal. I could tell you to do situps everyday or join a sport team, but in two weeks, not much is going to change. You could still try, but I recommend getting a full piece. Good luck and let me know how it works out :)
at my school we have teams -- 7-1, 7-2, and 7-3. i used to be on 7-1, but then i got switched to 7-2 because i was having problems in math. 7-2 is also the team one of my best friends are on. before now, we never fought, got mad at each other, or anything like that. i've made best friends with alot of her close friends because i have most of my classes with them. ever since that...she's been yelling at me for the most stupidest things. on her AIM profile, she used to always have something about me on there and she took me out. i don't really care about "profiles", but i just thought it was weird of her cause she normally freaks out if i'm not on hers. if i'm talking to one of them and we're saying something about one of our inside jokes, she'll just come out of no where and be like, "A-HA-HA-HA-HA!" in a fake laughing voice and then be like, "um, that's not even funny." or something. sjakdgasjda, it's getting on my nerves. is she just jealous or WHAT is her problem?
She may feel that you have taken over the limelight, and you probably have. Try to include her more. She obviously feels insecure. Good luck and let me know how it turns out :)
are all advcicenators in here under the age of 19 ?
Not all people here are, but I myself am fifteen.
I am always hungry! I'll eat when I am depressed, bored, and everything. When I am full (really), or feel full, I still eat. I can't help it because since I am always hungry I need to eat.
I have tried diets, and just plainly tried to go to 3 meals a day, but I can't do it! I will feel sick if I don't eat within 2 hours. I am overweight but I really want to stop eating a lot. I also have low metabolism like REALLY low.. so low not even exercise or food alone brings it up. So I am always tired which may be triggering my constant hunger. What can I do??
"When I am full (really), or feel full, I still eat."
"I am always hungry"
Those two phrases totally contradict each other. I think that you probably view food as some sort of comfort. I encourage you to join a sports team, dance team, swim team, etc. You will feel more confidant and accomplished as well as having an outlet for all of your stress. You should also see your doctor about this, since overeating is incrediable unhealthy. In fact, you may have an eating disorder. Let me know what your doctor says :)
ok so this is kinda complicated but when i'm at pasta parties with my coach she will be really nice to me and stuff and we'll get along great. but then at practice she is always like never putting me in the game and my headcoach says i'm on of the best players on the team. but she NEVER PUTS ME IN! i just dont know what to do. advice?? please dont say talk to her because it would be awkward.
There is nothing you can do except work on your game and hope to be played. Your coach may very well like you and think you are a great player, but she might want to give the other kids a chance. Your coach is thinking about what is best for the entire team. Just trust her. Let me know how things work out! :)
This guy and I have liked each other for so long and this summer was awesome we were like gf and bf and then things died out. Like every month i would phone him to see how he was and we would talk for ages and yet he wouldnt talk to me in school. So A few weeks ago i invited him over and honestley its like awesome we were all cuddly and like a couple and then he left. Then at school, ignores me and then sometimes he talks to me and he's like 'u ok?' and i've been like 'umm yeh' but he promised to take me to the cinema and he didnt and then he promised to come over on Friday and he didnt. Should I confront him, thing is if i do- i will have to be drastic and say ' Look if you care for me, if you really care, you will put effort in as a friend, otheriwse i cant see this friendship working out?' and im scared he will be like 'whatever' and not talk to me again. He said to me ' we will always be friends if not more' and he's a sincere person- im really confused.
He is obviously insecure or nervous, but that is irrelivant. You have to understand that you cannot change him. Talking to him about it will not do any good. You have got to relax and start enjoying what you have. He seems like an okay guy. Just make sure you do not kiss him unless he commits to you (asks you out). The risk in your situation is that he may start taking advantage of you. If he tries to become your "friend with benefits" drop him.
Good luck, and let me know how things work out :)
I need some help with being more social and outgoing around people.I used to be incredibly funny,nice,outgoing,and I knew how to make myself and other people around me have a good time...now just out of nowhere I'm none of these things.The weird thing is,I really want people to talk to and be around,but when I have the opportunity I turn it down because I'm scared.It's almost like I've become frightened of people in general.When I am in a social setting and not alone,I tend to just sort of sit there and do my own thing without making any kind of conversation(because I don't know how to make conversation).I was very spontaneous,and I think that the reason why I'm not anymore is because I'm afraid of looking like an idiot.
Anyway,how can I get myself back on track?I want to have friends,I want to be comfortable around people,and I want to be outgoing.
You are obviously far too focused on what other people think. I suggest you stop worrying about it and focus on an extracarricular activity instead. Stop trying to impress the other kids and work on developping your talents. Who knows, you might even make a few new friends along the way :) Good luck, let me know how things work out!
my younger sister doesnt have her period but she wears pads what do i do?
Your younger sister is obviously curious about what getting your period is all about. It is natural for her to question the way her body works and to want to expirament. I suggest you talk to her about what it feels like to get your period. Tell her that it is a normal part of growing up and that all girls get their period. Tell her that it means her body is getting ready to be a mommy some day. Answer all of her questions as she is probably a little nervous about the changes that will soon be happening to her body. Then hide the pads - those things are expensive and you dont want to waste them! Let me know how things work out :)
i am an athlete at college and i am bulimic...i also just found out i have a heart murmur...i think its caused by my bulimia...is it pssibl that i might have a heart condtion?
I suggest you see your doctor. No one on this site can diagnose you seeing as we do not know what condition you are in. Good luck and let me know what your doctor says :)
I am really hating my mom again. Everytime I do something in front of her she responds to me when she tells me something. Gosh I don't know what she wants from me because I talked to hotlines about this and all they told me was find a job move out talk to her. I cried it's hard i thought the hotline will really help me but it didn't. she tries to imitate the sound I have when I talk in my head when she tells me something. I am not a daughter in her eyes anymore she is brainwashed completely. I was around her reading this thing label then she got an idea from that. Like she observed and knew the thoughts on my brain. I don't think people should be doing that. SHe is so cruel to me and everybody else in that family. I dismembered my self from the family tree. I hate them they are so rude. No normal people will like them. Does anyone know how to deal with it or can give advice aside from getting counseling.
You sound like someone who is so overinformed in the subject of self help that you forget the basics. Talking about your problems will not fix them. Moving out will not help your relationship with your mother. You can never seperate yourself from your family because emotionally, you still care about them. I suggest you decide not to talk about your problems with your mother. If she starts to insult you, just walk away. Instead, start doing things together. Go on walks in the woods, see movies or go skating. If you start focusing on the positives instead of the negatives, your relationship will begin to heal. Don't give up. Let me know how things turn out :)
on march 18 i'm going to myrtal beach for cheerleading nationals. i'm not like fat but i've gained some weight and have huge love handles. i plan on going on a diet and doing a 10minute ab work-out everynight + cheerleading. the only problem is, i have trouble sticking to my plan. i need some good ones to stay motivated. any ideas? thankss.
There is nothing I can say becides go for it. Ten minutes is practially no time at all and dieting really isn't that hard. Stop making excuses and just do it! Throw yourself into your cheerleading. The fact that you came up with this plan proves that you are actually motivated, but probably a little afraid of failure. There is nothing to be afraid of. I'm sure you are beautiful, practially everyone has lovehandles (I sure do!). The world will not come crashing down if you do not reach your goal. However, there is no harm in working to get rid of your lovehandles. Take a deep breath and go for it. Let me know how things work out.