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[ /!\ sorry for my mistakes, english is not my mothertongue]
So... I'm a girl and I'm 20. Recently, during a "literary event" I ran into a guy I had first met a few years ago. He is twice my age. I have always liked him because he was nice and interesting, but I have never been attracted by him in any ways. He asked me to have a drink with him and he insisted a bit. At first I was worried because I felt it was going to be weird (I mean come on, he is forty !) but my best friends were like "no, it's totally ok to go, don't be paranoid". So I went. And the simple innocent drink transformed into a 6 hours "almost date" with lots of ambiguous moments. He invited me to dinner in a restaurant, we talked a lot, he wanted to offer me a rose (which I refused), etc.
I was wondering if he was really interested by "me", or by the fact that I'm younger, or even worse the fact that I am simply a woman ? (in other words, is he desperate ?) I lack self-confidence, which is also probably the reason why I accepted to have a drink with him. Even though I gave him lots of negative signs (i kept "escaping" when he touched my shoulders or when he took my hand), I wasn't brave enough to simply go and he asked me again two days after that (I refused).
I'm only hesitating about this because I have some curiosity towards him... he seems to epitomize the average man in his forties that hasn't been married, that is a bit desperate, that dislikes his job, etc. I have so many questions I want to ask because I want to find out who he really is, what he thinks (not only about me, but about his life, his achievements, etc.) It's almost a sociological interest.
Even if I'm dying to discover all these things and to investigate (it's also because i'm in holidays and i'm bored, let's face it haha), I know that I can't have these information without letting him come closer... I'm not afraid of him, I don't think I would be putting myself in "danger", but I'm afraid this might raise his hopes / expectations... Is it immoral to accept to see him again ? is it cruel to led him into thinking I might be interested in a relationship when I'm not ?
Well of course it would be wrong. He is person with feelings not an experiment in a laboratory. The only way to let him get closer is to lead him on. There is no way to do this honestly, since no guy is going to like to hear that someone wants to spend time with him due to the reasons you described.
Any time a person leads another person on when they know full well that person is interested in them, it is cruel and selfish. Not to mention that if he really is "desperate", for whatever reason, he may take this even worse because he would be more vulnerable.
If you aren't interested in him, just let it go.
(Rating: 4) thank you for your opinion, it was also what i felt...