TheAnnie's advice column

Hey, what's up? My name is Annie.

I work in a neurobiology lab and I love my job. I will do my best to help you! Also don't be afraid to ask me a question or a clarification to any advice I give you. I get email updates so they WILL get answered.

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20/f last year I was raped by my ex boyfriend, long story short we drank (he led me to believe he was drinking but in actuality I was the drunk one,) when we went to bed I remember waking up to him doing the act. To this day I have not told anyone except a good friend, and my new current boyfriend (of almost 9 months) at the very beginning of our relationship, but I toned town the story a bit. Nobody actually knows everything that happened, and I can't seem to get over it. I have brought it up once to my boyfriend, and he consoled me (as well as wants to kill my ex) but I feel badly about the topic if it is to come up again, I don't want him to think I still think about my ex. Should I be over it by now? It makes me feel dirty and sick to think about it, I could cry.
Thank you

First of all, you bringing it up doesn't mean you're thinking about your ex. It means you're thinking about yourself and how you feel. You've gone through a traumatic experience that no one should have to go through and so naturally you happen to think about it. Honestly, i feel like your current bf is being supportive and wants to help you so if you tell him how you feel then it doesn't look bad on you. Let him know that you are having trouble getting over feeling dirty and sick. It's good to talk about it. Now, you have to know that it wasn't your fault. The last thing you want to do is blame yourself. Let those close to you help you out...you'd do the same if you were in their shoes wouldn't you? Terrible experiences such as this sometimes can't be forgotten...but you have to take consolation in the fact that you have people that love you and care for you and that will help you through it. I'm sorry you feel this way and I hope this helped.

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much

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