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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)Facts about me:
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advice
This is a serious question. Please only answer if you can truly give input. I have alway been very religious. My family is Catholic and I was raised Catholic. I was baptized as a baby, had my first communion, did confirmation, etc. Somewhere along the lines, I strayed. I always believed in God and continued to love Jesus. But, I was living my life my way. When I started college, around my first and second year, I was working full time and going to school. With all this extra money, I did not invest into a savings account, move out, or even help out with bills. i did something absolutely terrible. All I would do was talk to psychics and get involved in spells and witchcraft. One of the worse parts about all of this is that my mother supported me. This isn't her fault and I am in no way saying it is. But, it just made things worse because she would help me find spell-casters and all this nonsense. She took me to this one guy that owned a feng-shui shop (i apologize for the spelling). He claimed he knew spells and magic and was psychic. He told me that he needed to put a spell one me and had to touch me down there. I thought he meant with my clothes on. He asked me to close my eyes and put his hands inside my pants. Then, he told me that for the spell to work, I needed to come to his store and masturbate in the back room. I felt so dirty. I knew right, then, and there, that all I had been doing with these people was WRONG and NOT with the Lord. I prayed so hard. I feel so guilty. This has been by far one of the worse sins I have ever committed. I feel so absolutely guilty about it. This was a couple of years ago. I am about to graduate college now and I have made a complete turn around in following my Christian faith. I read the Bible. I pray to God daily. I seek the Lord and understand that to follow Him, one must be disciplined in some way. We are only human, and to try to remotely resemble God, we must have some sort of discipline over our actions.
As a result of reading the Bible, I have a complete new view of life itself and of my faith. I would consider myself more of a Christian then necessarily being part of a denomination. I am seriously starting to question the Catholic Church. I don't understand why I have to confess my sins to a priest. I don't understand why only a priest could bless water, bless a person, or turn the host in the body of Christ. Is he a magician? He's a sinner, just like I am! Why does he get those special "powers?" The Bible says that you are to call no other man Father (except your biological father). They seem to treat the pope as if he's God, himself. The Bible explicitly says that Jesus is our only mediator to God, the Father. Why then, do we pray to Saints? It just all hit me. I have really considered converting to another Christian denomination, like maybe Episcopalian.
My cousin has chosen me to be the godmother of her daughter, who will be baptized soon (into the Catholic Church). I can't just tell her no. Catholics also believe that if you don't get married through their Church, you are not truly married, so you are living in sin by "acting" like a married couple. This is the only thing that really scares me about leaving the Church. Can anyone offer me some advice?
Last question. I know that this is a lot of information... but, masturbation feels REALLY wrong. Pleasuring myself does not make me feel very good about myself afterward, although I have never believed it to be a sin. I always thought that we were created as sexual beings, and this was just a way to release sexual tension. It's something natural, like going to the bathroom or eating. But, it feels absolutely wrong. The Bible does not mention it at all. So, it's very much a topic to pray upon and decide if it's wrong to you. But, it feels very wrong. It feels even more wrong then sex. Now, I do have another thing to ask about sex. When I met my boyfriend, we were close friends for a while. I was head over heels for him already :). I prayed SO hard that God would help our relationship grow because I loved him. And he did. My boyfriend is also a follower of Christ. But, like anybody else, we've let our physical desires get the best of us. I know that I want him to the person I look at as I'm walking down that aisle. I think the best way to head in that direction is delay sexual intercourse till marriage. I want to talk to him about not having sex without sounding creepy. I want to sound like a respectable lady, not creepy, you get me? Something along the lines of "I've always wanted to wait... maybe we should." I just need someone to word it properly for me.
So, to recap:
1) converting to a Christian denomination, but, becoming a godmother and getting married through the Catholic Church?
2) talking to my boyfriend about waiting till marriage to have sex?
Thanks!
First, you sound like a really cool and good person. I'm sure that whatever you decide to do, it will be the right decision. You clearly live your life and make decisions with a lot of thought and a lot of care. I am not Catholic, but I've gone to church all my life so I have a decent understanding of these things.
I do not see a problem with becoming a Godparent for your cousin's child. A Godparent is there to take care of the child if anything happens to the real parents. You promise to raise the child to know God and all that jazz. Even though you're questioning the Catholic church, you're obviously a good Christian and a good candidate for a Godparent. You'd do a great job. If you're worried, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to your cousin. Tell your cousin that you're maybe, kinda, sorta questioning the Catholic church. Leave it up to your cousin whether or not they still want you to fill this role.
The whole thing about not really being married is kind of a sham. To an outsider, Catholicism is filled with little things meant to make you stay. Where do they get that from anyway? I see it as similar to the other things that you are questioning. If you were to be married by a pastor that was not Catholic, then you wouldn't have the blessing of the Pope and the Catholic church. I'm not a Catholic, so I'm not sure exactly how a Catholic would explain it, but I think it has something to do with that. You should ask. My guess is that it's a little strange. Look at all the people around you that are married. They're not all Catholic. Most of them probably have great relationships. How could this be a sin? They're not acting married, they're married. They have both the paperwork and (hopefully) God's blessing, that's all you need.
Talking to your boyfriend about waiting should be easier than you think. Just bring it up - you'll know what to say. It's best to be specific instead of trying to sound classy with euphemisms. Make sure he knows exactly what you're proposing. Unfortunately, you'll have to be direct and specific. You want to wait until you get married to have sex. You don't want to give him the idea that you want to stop everything else. Make sure you fully explain want you want and let him talk about what he wants too. My husband and I waited. I remember having the conversation. It was actually his idea and he had to convince me. We talked about exactly what we could and couldn't do and, most importantly, we talked about why. He did a great job because he just spoke from his heart. He told me that it was something he wanted to do because he thought that it was right. He felt that sex was something that should only be shared between husband and wife - two people that were 100% committed. We connected sexually in other ways besides intercourse and it wasn't difficult to wait. I used to believe that you should try it out beforehand to see if you were compatible sexually, but he helped change my mind. I realized that it didn't really matter if the sex was terrible because I would still want to be with him anyway. It's a big commitment for some, though so don't be surprised if he isn't all that excited about the idea right away. Sorry I'm not telling you what to say, but it's best that you come up with the words because it is based upon your personal beliefs and only you can express that in the right way.
I wish you the best of luck and no matter what you decide to do, you'll always be alright because you've got a wonderful ally in God. :)
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much! This was perfect advice. God bless you :)