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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
If you're kind enough to rate me please leave a comment letting me know if I helped! I love hearing that I have!
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advice
I recently started dating a guy. I have known him since I was little but we starting becoming friend about a year ago. We texted everyday talked every night he called me beautiful and things like that. I found out he liked me asked him about it and we ended up dating but now I feel different. I feel like he'd more of a friend then a boyfriend. I've never been physically attracted to him but he had a great personality. I feel like if were going to kiss I won't want to do it. Can you have a relationship without physical attraction? Also Im not very good at complimenting people. I can be mean but I just joke around. I feel like as his girlfriend I should be all "aw you're so sweet. I love you" blah blah but I cant. With all my past boyfriends I've never been like that. Im not clingy and I dont express my feelings. How can I be nicer to him. How do I make him feel like he means something to me. I think I have this wall up because Im scared to get hurt. Or is it because deep down he's just a friend to me and I dont want to tell him these things. I love talking to him and he makes me laugh and smile,but friends do that too. I can't break up with him because what if I do like him and Im just too stupid to know it.
Hey there,
Okay let me tell you this is exactly how I felt about my boyfriend when we first started dating. So I can feel I can relate to this quite a bit.
I didn't find him sexually attractive what so ever.
But he was the sweetest,kindest most down to earth guy I had EVER met. He made me laugh like no one else ever could and just truly understood me. I felt like I could be myself around him. Everyone kept telling us to date but I just didn't feel it. After about a year and a half he was there for me during a very bad break up,and I realised maybe what i've been looking for has been right in front of me? (as cliche as that sounds)
So I gave it a go. In the begining much like you I felt like I just couldn't be attracted to him.I Would cringe whenever he would commpliment me or call me baby or babe. I couldn't call him those things at all. Around 5-6months In I contemplated ended it. But I said id give it a little longer. My sister told me that when you fall in love with someones personality,eventually the physical attraction will shine through. And you know what?That is exactly what happened. Almost 3years later we're still together,and stronger than ever.
I don't know how or when but I just found myself becomming more and more attracted to him physically.
So what I would say to you is give it a bit more time. You only recently started dating love takes time to grow in my opinion.
I put up walls like you also but you need to learn to let them down just a bit to let people in. There's a risk you might get hurt but that risk is there with any relationship. As the relationship progresses you will find it easier to let him in and express yourself. You don't have to do it by saying I love you a 100 times a day or calling him baby or whatever. Find your own little ways of showing it. Like posting his favourite song or a song that reminds you of him to his facebook if he has one. Or texting him a random song lyric. Stuff like that.
Some would say it's not fair to lead him on,but I don't think you're doing that. I think you do really care for him you just don't Love him yet. My boyfriend confessed his love for me first but it took me a lot longer. And that's okay :)
You will know if it's going somewhere or not. So in short give it a little more time and see how your feelings are then,if you think there is no way you could ever be intimate with him well then it's best to end it.
Good luck and I really hope I helped. :)
Much
(Rating: 5) Thank you so much!(: We are still dating and his amazing personality os growing on to me(: I hope we do as great as you with you're boyfriend(: