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I'm Jessie. I've been on here on and off for about 7 years. I'm 22 :) I am currently in my final year of college studying English and new media
I'm from Ireland I dye my hair way too much. I've been blonde,brown,brown with blonde,black,red,and blonde again!I love helping people I found advicenators when I was just 15 and didn't understand the world! I feel I have matured with this site. The people on here are amazing and I love coming on here in my spare time to be there for people in need. I won't tell you what you want to hear because that's not advice it's just fooling yourself. I try to help in whatever way I can I try not to judge and try to relate to a situation if I can. :) If you don't like honesty then you won't like my advice.
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advice


We are currently living together. We both have full time jobs, and I go to school fulltime for Nursing. Well, I work 10 hours a day, and he works the typical 8 hours.

The problem is my fiance is so lazy!
WE've been living together for almost 10 months and he never cleans. If he does I have to ask him to do things, for example:

I have a dry erase board on our wall in our bedroom, and I'll leave him messages before I go to work telling him what needs to be done when I get home.

(I work 8am-6pm && he works 8pm-5am && he sleeps ti'll about 2:30pm---He works at a factory and I work at a daycare with toddlers)

Well when I get home, NONE OF IT IS DONE. So I end up doing it. I've got to the point to where I'll clean up after myself, but not him; and it kills me because it'll be weeks before he even touches it. Matter of fact, there is laundry that has been in the hamper for almost a month!!!

It's driving me insane. I told him how I feel like we both should be putting in effort equally, and I'm not his mother, so he shouldn't rely for me to pick up after him; but he still doesn't!

He is an adult, and yet he is so messy! When I get home from work he is on his video game, and when I ask 'how come you didn't pick up the house' his reply is, 'idk, i forgot'.


Ugh! I shouldn't have to ask him to do any of this; if its messy, he should just pick it up. Like dishes, he leaves them in the sink- I, on the otherhand, I do them as I mess them up; he never does his dishes!


what do I do?

Hey there,
Ah as the age old saying goes "If you want to know me,come live with me"
Unfortunately we tend to find out these annoying habits,flaws and mannerisms in people when we decide to live with them that we may never have known before.
It's obvious he was molly coddled as a child. Meaning that his mother probably did EVERYTHING for him. Which is annoying because in later life they just expect it to be done for them. Which of course is not on. You are not his mother.
He obviously doesn't see anything wrong with this as he is so dead set in his ways. It's a tough habit to break but it can be done. My sister had the same problem with a now ex of hers. His mother used to travel to his college to clean the house and do his laundry. When they moved in together he was such a slob. But she stuck to her guns and eventually he began picking up the slack.
You need to be firm. Tell him it's absolutely not on. That you do not want to come home to a pig sty.
It's not hygienic to leave dishes and clothes that long.
The house can become infested with bugs and other nasties. You're more likely to become ill and such. Tell him this.
Threaten him that if he doesn't change his ways then you simply cannot live together. Maybe a few months living on his own will give him the shock into action that he so truly needs.
Surely he will wise up.
Good luck and much

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(Rating: 5) Thank you so much Jess! Totally awesome advice!
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