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I'm 21 years old, have had my share of different types of relationships so I enjoy answering love life questions. Whether it's about getting closer emotionally or physically don't hesitate to ask, hopefully I'll be able to help. I also love the medical field and will be a registered nurse soon. If you have any questions regarding a recent medical diagnosis (don't ask for one please, not a doctor) I can help you better understand it and the treatment as well
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Hey so I'm a sixteen year old girl in high school, junior year. I've been dating this guy for 18 months and he just turned eighteen, a senior. Something I've always kind of noticed about him are his very protective tendencies. When we first started dating it wasn't so bad, he was about as protective of me as he was his little sister so I knew it was out of concern and coming from a caring place. As we've continued dating, he's started to verge on the over protective side, and this I don't like. He get's so angry when guys make crude and dirty comments about me to him. Like, obviously joking comments. He plays football and all of the guys give eachother crap about everyone's girlfriend. It doesn't bother me, but it bothers him. And just last weekend he almost tried to fight some kid at a party who was being, I'll admit, out of line with me. The kid was grabbing and pulling me and wouldn't listen to me when I told him to stop and wouldn't let go. I appreciated when my boyfrined came over and told the guy to let go, but I didn't appreciate how he continued to threaten the other guy and how he completely escalated the situation. When my boyfriend does those kind of things I feel like he isn't even concerned abotu me at that point. I feel that it hasn't become about protecting me its become about HIM protection HIS "property". You know what I mean? Like he's doing it for himself and that just bothers me. Not only is it embarassing for me but its a little frightening too. We've had talks about it before but he I don't think he understands what I mean. Does anyone know what I'm trying to say here and how I should say it to him?? If so, please help!!
(Oh, by the way, on a side note. He constantly defends his over protective attitude by saying I'm too small to protect myself properly, which also extremely annoying. I know I'm physically little but that still bothers me that he doesn't think I can take care of myself. Any advice on how to handle that too? PLEASE don't tell me to break up with the kid. We've worked through so many bigger issues together, I'm not ending our relationship over this.)
Hmmm you say that you've already talked to him about this and that he doesn't understand you... well to tell you the truth you dont understand him. Theres two types of guys:
Guys who respect girls, and guys that don't
Unless he has no problem making dirty comments and putting his hands on girls that hes not with then hes one of the few that actually respect girls
He see's it this way; if a guy is going to disrespect my girlfriend ill teach him otherwise and for guys like us its completely understandable and right. YOU shouldn't have to deal with a boy putting his hands all over you or making you feel uncomfortable by the things he says; its childish, stupid, and to tell you the truth makes you look bad. Unless your one of the few girls that overflow confidence and can make a guy back off your boyfriend will defend you.
Let me put it this way.... You go to a party and a group of girls are all over your bf; telling him dirty stuff and touching him. You see that hes uncomfortable but cant do much to stop it. Your really telling me your not going to do anything about it? I dont think so.
The comment about you being to small to defend yourself, well i can see how you feel bothered by it but you shouldnt. Bad things happen to girls all the time (that im sure said the same thing); you think your bf wants to chance that with you?
Ive been through this with my ex but she liked that i stuck up for her, but the two of you are very different. Shes been through stuff no girl should have to deal with; and if she always had boyfriends like me and him she wouldnt have had to deal with it.
Im not saying that your wrong to feel the way you do; im saying your a girl and hes a guy. Theres things you probably will never understand about eachother. At the end of the day you have a good respectful guy and you should try to understand where hes coming from.
(Rating: 5) damn. talk about perspective. haha thank you:)