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18/f. My boyfriend and I are starting to think about sex. We have been dating 7 months and are in love. This is a question about preventing pregnancies, so please don't lecture me on "saving my virginity" because I already had sex once and it's what I want. I do realize the consequences. Getting pregnant and STI's. But my boyfriend and I have agreed that we are going to be safe and careful.

Here's my question

Ive never had birth control before. The first time we had sex we used a spermicidal condom and a few days after that I saw an article about teen pregnancies in a magazine and in a tv show. I started to freak out and get really scared but he didn't cum in me and also he wasn't deep. Only like 2 inches. Do you think its possible for me to get pregnant if he did that?

Anyways, after my freak out we had a talk and decided I should get birth control. But heres the catch, my parents can't find out. And also I have no idea where to get any. Do I have to take exams in order to get some birth control?

Last question. Do you think it's safe to have sex without the pill? Like if we used a spermicidal condom and Super careful. We know the proper way to use it and how to check for leaks and tears. Like do you think if I didn't get the pill, would the condom still prevent 98% of pregnancies?

Also my boyfriend mentioned the morning after pill (plan b I think?) how effective is that? If I didn't get the pill and just used condom and then morning after pill if there was a leak, would that be ok?

1 more question- could I get pregnant if we used a condom but the condom doesn't break, is there a chance of pregnancy?

Oh and I prefer not to use any other female protection method. I don't want to use a cup or anything.

Amy more advice or tips? Thanks!!

Well done for thinking so carefully about this!

First of all, stop freaking out about the condom. Condoms get alot of bad press but they still remain a safe and reliable method of contraception and a barrier against STI's. They are 98% effective when used correctly, this means that in a year, around 2 out of 100 women will get pregnant. If he didn't ejaculate inside you AND he was wearing a condom, your chances of pregnancy are second to none. The chances of you getting pregnant if the condom doesn't break are very slim, just make sure your partner holds onto the condom firmly as he withdraws to avoid any sperm leaking out. Many couples do choose to just use condoms and get along just fine but like any method of contraception, they are not 100% reliable.

The sensible option would be to go on birth control and use condoms. The Pill is around 99% effective if taken correctly but condoms would provide that extra back up not to mention protecting you from any STI's. Your chances of getting pregnant if you use both of these methods correctly would be very, very low.

You don't mention where you are but in most places, you can get birth control free and without your parents finding out. You are over 18 anyway so there is no reason for your doctor to inform your parents. In the UK you can visit your GP or local GUM clinic. I'm not 100% on the system in the US but I know there are Planned Parenthood clinics where you will be able to get contraception. There is no 'exam', a doctor or nurse will just ask you a few questions about family history, whether or not you smoke etc and take your blood pressure. He/she will probably also have a chat with you about any side effects and other potential methods.

The morning after pill is NOT to be used as a regular form of contraception. It should only be used if your other methods have failed. If you do choose to use condoms by themselves and one breaks then you should take it. It is effective up to 72 hours after unprotected sex but it is best to take it within 12 hours. The failure rate is less than 10% but it becomes less effective the longer you leave it.

As for extra advice or tips, do look into alternative methods such as the contraceptive injection or the coil if you haven't already. The advantage with these is that you don't have to remember to take them on time or worry about them, which makes them alot more effective.

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(Rating: 5) thank you!!! :)


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